No More Dead Heroes
Chapter 12: Arduous
It's war now, and yes, it's hell. Oh how the times have changed; there aren't many smiles in this hidden village anymore. People are being separated from their loved ones left and right, either by death or duty, and some are starting to lose what hope they had left. But some are still holding out for that better day, whether it's ever going to come or not.
It had been a day and already the Chuunin was back in her office, demanding to be allowed to go and bring his boyfriend back. Tsunade hated to admit it, but she had been hoping for at least two more days of peace until the boy got over his original shock and decided to do something about the problem at hand. She appeared to have forgotten how exceptional these kids were, hopefully something she wouldn't do again. Of course, it would be worse if she forgot that they were still only kids, something she had done several times in the past. Every time that happened, the consequences were a little bit worse.
"I- I can't let you do that Inuzuka-kun." If there was one good thing this war had done for her it was make her more sensitive to other people's feelings. She wasn't a saint, that was for sure, but she had learned not to laugh at others' pain. But she wasn't going to give in here, it just wasn't an option. She needed every single Chuunin she had left; she couldn't afford to let even one more go. Of course, she would have to be careful who she sent with Kiba on missions, it would have to be someone who could keep him in line. If Shino could resort to drastic measures to get away, Kiba damn well wouldn't even hesitate. "I need the Chuunins here, guarding the village, or out on missions."
Kiba glared at her, the emotion having returned to his eyes full force. "So then wouldn't you like to have one more?" Tsunade hesitated for a second, considering how best to word her answer so that the Chuunin wouldn't attack her.
"I do, but I can't. He's a missing-nin now Kiba, he can't just come back and pretend like nothing ever happened." There was a look of pure indignation on Kiba's face when she dared to look at him again; what was so wrong with that she was presumably about to find out. She felt bad, she did, but it just couldn't work; the council would never approve, not to mention the Aburame would be shunned by the village. It was along the same lines as inviting Uchiha Itachi back with open arms, though obviously no where near as drastic.
He bit his lip, wondering how wise it would be to yell at the Hokage, but decided rather quickly that he didn't care. "But you were willing to bring Sasuke back, against his will, and pretend that he hadn't tried to join your old teammate, your greatest enemy? What makes Shino so different? Is he not worth as much to the village?"
"That-that was different Kiba. There were extreme circumstances-"
"And there aren't now!" Kiba's voice was disgusted, pleading, angry, and desperate all in one. His eyes were feverish and wild, his face flushed. Looking at him now Tsunade wouldn't have recognized him as the brash and carefree little boy he had once been. But those days were long gone now weren't they? They were all changing and she hadn't noticed. Or she had noticed, but she hadn't really registered it, hadn't wanted to believe it. Which was understandable, why, when she could remember the innocent, cheerful children they had been, would she ever want to wake up and face the reality of what they were now? But she would have to do it sometime, or they were all going to die and she would be left wondering what had happened to all the little children she had known, where they had gone.
"He-he killed Yuuhi Kurenai Kiba. I didn't tell you that before because I-I didn't want you to shatter, to break. But he killed her Kiba, his teacher, your teacher. It's not just him running away anymore, it's him murdering. He can't- you can't…" Her voice trailed off.
She really couldn't bear to lose just one more.
Anko sighed, the Jounins had been supposed to meet her here on May 2nd, yet it was already dusk on May 6th and they were no where in sight, and probably weren't even on their way. She had sent a messenger off to Tsunade on the 4th, so the Godaime had probably already received it, and called off their attack on the Sound. Anko wished now that she hadn't bothered to send that message to Konoha, what Tsunade didn't know couldn't hurt her, and as long as Anko and the ANBU were successful, there was no reason for her to ever learn about it. But she had gone and done the right thing, maybe, if she thought too much into it, because she still felt guilty.
She would like to think not, but it was hard. At least she knew now that she was quite prepared to kill Orochimaru, if the opportunity was to arise, and she had been for sometime. That helped to lift some of the guilt, helped her to smile when the ANBU asked her questions about Orochimaru, helped her to close her eyes again and breathe deeply when she lay awake at night, paralyzed with fear at what they planned to do. Perhaps it was because she was afraid that the Godaime had chosen her for this mission.
"Anko-san! Your messenger has returned! He carries orders from the Hokage." It was one of the ANBU she was working with that had yelled for her, the other kunoichi was pleasant enough, and a damn hard worker, so it wasn't hard for Anko to like her, even befriend her. And it was always nice to have another woman to talk to, especially when away for so long. Not like she had anything to go back to.
Sighing, Anko got to her feet, stretching and yawning. She had been on guard detail last night, from midnight until four, and she hadn't been able to sleep again since then, what with things always popping up whenever she thought she might be able to squeeze in a short catnap. Shuffling across the room she flipped the lock across, opening regretfully to reveal the messenger and the three ANBU who had collected to hear their new orders. Narrowing her eyes slightly, but realizing she couldn't exactly turn them away, even if she was reluctant to have dirt tracked across her makeshift bedroom, she waved them in, wondering if they would all even fit.
"Alright, let's have it." Anko said to the messenger, knowing Tsunade wouldn't ever send orders like these written down, instead giving a verbal message for the messenger to memorize. She hadn't bothered for her own message, as it only spoke of the four being late, nothing too sensitive. She settled back onto her bed, leaving the ANBU to stand awkwardly near the door. The messenger fidgeted for a moment before complying, apparently uncomfortable under such close scrutiny. Anko smirked, watching the man twist his hands nervously.
"Ah, the revered Hokage would like you to abort your current mission. It has become too risky, even for shinobi of your caliber. She instead requests that the ANBU separate into their usual teams; and one will go with Anko-san to find the four missing Jounins and return to Konoha with them, the others will split up and attack the enemy shinobi at any of the co-ordinates she wrote here." He paused to dig a miniscule scrap of paper out of a pouch, and handed it to Anko, who read it, memorized it, and tore it in half. The man flinched. "Hokage-sama would like this to start immediately, and wants the four in question home as soon as humanely possible, or sooner. She said that no risk was too big, and, I hope you understand what this means, because I haven't a clue, she said, verbatim, 'if it's Sasuke, don't let Naruto near him. Don't let them fight, and don't let Naruto even try to do that.' And that's all."
"That's the Kyuubi kid right?" Nori, the female ANBU asked, glancing at Anko for confirmation. When she nodded, Nori continued. "Do you understand what she means by that Anko? I haven't got a clue." The other two ANBU agreed, turning to face the Special Jounin, unabashed question in their gazes. If there was anything to be said about ANBU it was that they weren't much concerned with how outsiders viewed them. Within their own ranks however, was an entirely different story, the rivalry these elite had was almost unbelievable. But they felt no shame, no embarrassment in being so blatantly obvious about what they wanted in front of someone who was not a member of their group. The same could be said for Tsunade's messenger, who also wanted an answer, judging by the way he was staring along with them, waiting expectantly.
Anko sighed, what was it Nara Shikamaru said all the time? Oh, right, how troublesome. "He and Uchiha were teammates as Genins, friends I guess, probably the first either of them ever had. Anyway, when Uchiha left, it was Naruto who went after him, nearly getting killed in the process. As soon as he recovered, he wanted to go after Sasuke again, bring him home, but Jiraiya-sama talked him out of it, for the time being. He's never forgotten it though, and Tsunade-sama knows that Naruto would take any chance to have Uchiha back in Konoha." She shrugged. "It's the kind of betrayal you don't forget easily I guess."
"Is he going to make this more difficult for us if it is Uchiha?" Nori asked, speaking for everyone in the room. Anko didn't have an answer this time, at least not one they would want to hear. She didn't voice the unnecessary, if it was Sasuke, they were going to have enough trouble on their own with Naruto adding to it. And they didn't even know what kind of condition the four were in, for all they knew they could be dead or incapacitated. Hopefully Shizune was in a position where she could heal them, but that was doubtful. For them to actually be captured, if that was the case, there would have had to be some damn extreme circumstances.
She didn't know if they would be able to both take down a ton of Sound-nin and/or Mist-nin and carry out four broken bodies, and as much as she hated to admit it, if they had actually been captured, that was most likely what they would find. But Tsunade had said it herself, no risk was too great, they were to exercise no caution, take no precautions, hold nothing back for later, and use anything and everything they had to bring the Jounins home.
The fact remained, however, that these four were the last people she would ever have expected to have to go to the rescue of.
Shino didn't know how long he had been running for anymore. It could have been an hour, a week, or a year. He didn't know, and he was finding it hard to care. All he had wanted when he left Konoha was to see Kiba again, but that was getting less and less likely with every step he took. The hunter-nins were closing steadily, sooner or later he would actually have to fight them as opposed to running. When that time came he wasn't sure how well he would do. It was doubtful he would win though, it would take something near to a miracle for that to happen.
And even if he was in a position where he could win, would he be prepared to kill? Shino just didn't know anymore. He knew there were fewer hunter-nins than they had started out with, but he had no idea where the others had gone. For all he knew they could have gone back to Konoha, or found another fight, a more important one. They could have done any number of things, could even be setting up an ambush for him, while he worried.
Or they could be dead. It was a possibility that he wasn't ready to rule out, but one he didn't want to consider. He had to though, because that would dictate whether he laid anymore traps for the hunter-nins, or just ran, hoping that that would be enough. It all came down to how desperate he was didn't it? If he stopped now, he would be killed, no questions asked. If he kept running, and they caught up to him, he would be killed, without hesitation. And if he kept running and left behind a trap or two, they would catch up to him, and there would be no mercy. Of course, with the last option, he had a better chance of getting away, but no chance of ever returning to Konoha.
If only he had known that that option was already closed, it would have made this decision a lot easier, it would have made him feel a lot less guilty when he decided. It would have made it easier for him to separate himself from what he was doing, and tell himself that it was in the name of self preservation, even as he laid the traps that would hopefully catch, and kill, those chasing him.
He didn't want to think about Kiba anymore. It felt… When he did this, it felt like he was betraying the brunette, like every time he took a step further away, or laid a trap, and thought about him at the same time, he was letting Kiba down. And he didn't want to do that, the exact opposite was the reason he was here in the first place. He didn't want this to be betrayal, he didn't want it to have been the wrong decision, he didn't want to realize there were consequences.
So it was just easier not to think about Kiba.
Shino would have liked to think he would get a happy ending, he would liked to have think that he would be allowed back into his life, no questions asked, he would have liked to think that someday he would be able to forget this ever happened. He would have liked to think all these things, and imagine they were true, but his treacherous mind wouldn't let him lie to himself, it didn't have room in it for false hope when every thought needed to be focused on just getting away, until he could think of a way to convince the hunter-nins not to kill him.
He also knew that they were gaining on him even more than before, spurred on by something. He thought he might know what the something was. He would have so dearly liked to be ignorant, oh how he wished he could have been. But he knew, deep down, that those two hunter-nins hadn't turned back, or branched off from the others. There was no point in lying to himself, in letting himself relax. They were dead, or seriously injured, and it was his fault, it was his traps that had done that.
So Shino kept running, ignoring the pain in his legs and chest. To stop now was suicide, but he wasn't sure how much further he could go. It was getting later and later, soon he wouldn't be able to see where he was going, even with the help of his bugs, and soon he would start getting sloppy. The combination of the two was ten times as dangerous as one or the other on its own. Sooner or later, he was going to make a mistake, and when he did he would pay dearly for it. No matter how aware of this he was, it wasn't going to change.
A muscle in his leg seizing up made him trip. A lack of time before he hit the ground and did even more damage to his body made him struggle to land anywhere. A surge of panic made him not see the slip of paper on the tree he was aiming for. And after that it was only luck that made him land off balance and fall off the branch once again after setting the explosive note off in a fiery burst.
This time he didn't bother trying to stop his fall, it was too late. At least this way he should avoid the worst of the blast. He decided he really ought to rethink that when he felt the first strands of fire brushing against his skin. It was all thanks to reflexes that he didn't just freeze up and be burnt to death. Instead, he formed his hands into a seal even as the flames wrapped around him, and it was a log that hit the ground, being consumed by white hot fire.
Shino himself lay, stunned, and draped against a tree trunk, on the forest floor about ten yards away. He couldn't make his body respond, couldn't make his legs bend and hold him up. His heart was beating erratically and his breath was coming in short, frantic, gasps. His sunglasses, which he had kept all throughout this wild chase, slipped down, snapped. He heard the sound of wood and grass and leaves being consumed by fire, he could see the leaping red out of the corner of his eye. He heard the sound of shouts and pounding feet as the hunter-nins drew closer and closer.
And still, he couldn't move, not even to straighten his glasses. He could feel the ground shaking, as a tree branch crashed down from above, severed from it's trunk by the raging flames. He could feel blood trickling down the back of his head and dribbling from his open mouth, from when he had cracked his head on the tree he was currently leaning against. The hunter-nins were close enough that he could hear the sound of their movements even above the roar of the fire. But he couldn't even summon the strength to attempt to hide.
He heard the yell when one of the hunter-nins spotted him, he heard the wind rushing down from the opening the fire created, he heard the disgusted words the hunter-nins spoke when they saw him, and he heard the fire burn. And then, his head slumping forward, glasses falling to the fried grass, he didn't hear anymore.
Naruto didn't even glance up when the tent flap was opened and Kakashi was carried in on a stretcher. He just sat in his corner, knees tight against his chest, sky blue eyes wide and unseeing. He had shut the world out, and it was going to have to try damn hard if it wanted back in. Genma and Shizune had stopped trying to get his attention two days ago now; all they had been doing was wasting their breath. It was disconcerting though, to see someone like Naruto, who always had a smile on his face, a laugh bubbling in his throat, so silent. It added to the already painful experience of being here, being captured.
It was already dark by the time Kakashi was returned to them, and Naruto was only a shadow against the tent wall. His blond hair was indeterminable from the beige canvas of the tent walls, and even his jacket appeared muted, washed out in the dusk. Every once in a while he would move slightly, his orange jacket rustling as he shifted. Each time, Genma and Shizune would look up, staring hopefully in his direction. Kakashi still didn't stir, oblivious to the two worried Jounins who watched over him.
Genma's suspicions had been confirmed when he had seen the large white bandage over both of the great Copy Ninja's eyes, and the blood that had soaked into the cloth over the now empty socket where the Sharingan had once lay. He hadn't known what to say then, but Shizune had just put a hand on his arm, getting rid of the need for words. And they had watched Kakashi, turning away only when Naruto moved, or made some small sound, they watched the shinobi for signs that he was waking, or in pain.
They didn't know what they were going to do when he actually did awake. Shizune was hesitant to do anything to the empty eye socket, as she didn't know what had already been done. They didn't know if he was going to be in pain when he did come to, or if he was aware of what had been done to him. In the best case scenario, he knew, and he had accepted it. The worst? They would have a thirty year-old throwing a temper tantrum. And the kind of temper tantrum Kakashi was likely to throw was one that involved copious amounts of chakra and various sharp projectiles.
It was nearing midnight or past when Shizune finally slipped sideways where she was sitting, eyes closing even as her head touched the dirt. Genma hadn't been able to tear himself away from his 'patient' to cover her with the coat she had been using with a blanket up till now. Instead, he had watched her keel over out of the corner of his eye, indifferent, and then returned to watching Kakashi unwaveringly. This time, when Naruto rocked forward, biting his lip sharply, Genma didn't show any sign of even being aware that there was someone else awake in the room.
While it was possible that the constant missions and danger had finally taken their toll on his mind, making him less sane than he may have been before this nightmare started, he wasn't even aware that that was optional anymore. After while you just started to accept that you were loosing it, or soon going to lose it, and there wasn't much you could do about it, except maybe start warning people. Thank god he still had his pride, because Naruto's reaction to such an admission wouldn't be favorable, and Shizune would probably try out some new medical theory of hers on him, figuring that if it went wrong, there wasn't anybody home to care.
And then there was the less likely possibility that he was in actuality quite sane, and that to stay that way he had to let normal life and emotions go. Again, this was not very common, except maybe in the case of Tsunade, who had decided early on in this war that if she wanted to still be aware of the world around her when it ended, she had to separate herself from those she was as good sentencing to death. And we all know how well that worked.
Genma, when his eyes started rebelling, trying to slip closed when he wasn't paying attention, stuck his ring finger between his teeth and bit down, hard. It didn't hurt, not even close, and he was barely aware that he was even touching the slender digit, but it meant he had something to focus on, so that he would be able to keep watching until Shizune woke up again, and beyond that, until Kakashi woke up again. It was all about concentration, if he had it, there wasn't anything that could go wrong. What made that thought even worse was that he believed it whole heartedly. It was a disturbing thought that people would take anything and grasp onto it tightly, afraid to let it go for fear that their whole world would start to unravel as soon as they did. Genma had grabbed onto his concentration, something he had always valued, prized above all else even. It wasn't like he could be blamed though, everyone needed something to hold in highest reverence, something that would always be true in their mind, that couldn't falter or fade, even in the face of death.
His mind spiraling out of control faster and faster with every shallow breath Kakashi took, Genma focused his mind on one thing and one thing only; the steady drip, drip, drip of blood sliding down his hand and wrist to the ground.
a/n: -sigh- Late again. I hate being late. I really do. It's about 4000 words long, maybe a bit longer, and we're back to four viewpoints for this chapter at least. No promises for the next ones, as scenes are definitely going to get longer and longer again. Sorry if there are some typos or missing punctuation marks, I have very shaky hands today, more so then usual, and we all know spell check can only do so much. Sorry again that it's late; I'll try to get back on schedule soon.
AvaStar: Glad you like it! And yes, I am a freak aren't I? Peace Conference today was interesting to say the least by the way, in case you were wondering.
Dameus: Yes, but I think that he didn't use the Mangekyou on Naruto then because he had already used it once that day, and didn't want to risk getting too tired. And then Sasuke was really just asking for it, so he had to deliver… (I adore Sasuke, I really do, but you would think he wanted Itachi to kill him along with the rest of the Uchihas the way he carried on then. Again, I absolutely love Sasuke, not bashing in the slightest, incase anyone gets the wrong idea… ).
Hujin: Of course it isn't fair! When have I ever been fair to any of them? That just wouldn't be right! Well, I suppose you sort of get Naruto's point of view here… Okay, no, you don't. Sorry? Soon! I swear! And on top of that I'm making them all go insane… -sigh- I need to cut back on the caffeine when I'm writing.