Episode 38: The 39th Episode Spectacular
AnnouncerMan: Broadcast to you live, it's a tape made months ago of the MegaMan Jr. High 39th Episode Spectacular! And here's your host, show creator, KI Simpson!
Audience: Claps one handed
KI: Thank you, it's great to be here! Tonight we're celebrating the 38th episode of MegaMan Jr. High and our budget cut resulting in the loss of the guy who keeps track of numbers! It's hard to believe a show that started from me and a friend mocking that MegaMan comic could come this far.
Audience: LOL!
KI: No, that's really how it started.
Audience: LOL!
KI: STOP THAT! One more peep out of you and I'll stop digitally inserting the laughter! Anyway, we've got a great show tonight. Or we did until I was court ordered not to show that Simpsons script I stole. So I threw this together. Although since this is an obvious rip off I'm not sure why it's any better... Anyway, let's get this show started! Roll the clip!
AnnouncerMan: What clip?
KI: I don't know, I just needed to break up the paragraph. Anyway, in this first act I'll tell the history of MegaMan Jr. High, and give you a peak behind the scenes.
It all started on a day like any other. But little did I know a life changing event would soon occur. The MAIL CAME!... fine, it wasn't exciting. Look at the plots, do you honestly think I ever did anything even remotely interesting? Anyway, an EGM came in the mail. I read it. Eventually, I came across an article. It was about video game comics. I looked at the previews of them and
Lightning flashes.
Thunder claps.
A volcanoe erupts.
KI's SNES goes over a minute without being played.
I saw it. The most hideous thing in the world. (insert cheap shot at Fox/N-Gage/this show) Then I saw the summary for the MegaMan comic. It had MegaMan, under the name Rocky Light, going to middle school trying to "Fight evil and get to class on time!". After hours of trembling under a table in shock, I decided to take the course of action I always take when something stupid happens. I told my friend and we made fun of it (I'll have you know countless evil empires were defeated that way!).
After thinking up features the comic would have like Wily as the principal and ProtoMan being evil, I decided I had to take credit for the idea... I mean... share it with the world. And so I went to my first and only choice, the only place worthy of my show being posted, the GameCube Social Board! Unless you're reading this on Kirby25's website, in which case you're the important ones. Anyway, I got my first choice, and couldn't be happier with my medium.
AnnouncerMan: Phone call, it's Adult Swim.
KI: YES! I'm out of this stupid message board!
Ki runs to talk on the phone. He comes back.
KI: As I was saying, this place is the only place I'll let the show be posted on. Unless Adult Swim loosens up and doesn't demand I legally license MegaMan and everything else I reference to. Anyway, when we come back I'll answer your letters!
Disclaimer: For legal purposes "your" includes figments of KI's imagination.
Act break.
Act 2:
KI: Before the letters, here's the peak behind the scenes I promised:
We see thousands of monkeys slamming keyboards.
KI: Now, to answer the letters. Here's the first one:
Dear
KI,
Your show SUCKS! I may not have read anything but the title,
but my argument is legitimate! I demand you stop, because I don't
like it and I'm the only person in the world who
matters!
TrollMan
KI: Well, thank you for your letter. I've listened, and I will be taking steps to improve the show. Mainly, I'll be installing a security system to keep trolls out. Thanks for writing! Here's our next letter:
Dear KI,
Hello, I am a
loyal viewer who isn't ProtoMan. I want to say ProtoMan should be on
the show more often. He's a very underused character! Many people
agree with me, please insert more ProtoMan!
A loyal viewer, from
the Pen of ProtoMan
KI: Well, it's obvious who that was. Sorry Liquid Snake, but I have no plans to involve ProtoMan more. Let's look at the next letter:
To Mr. Killer I. Simpson
I
represent the holders of the rights to MegaMan and every other
copyrighted character you've used on this show. If you do not cease
using them, legal action will have to be taken.
Sincerely, Lionel
Hutz
KI: This letter will be forwarded to my lawyer, Inanimate Carbon Rod. Thanks for writing! Here's the next letter:
dear
k1,
can u show more of protomn? i reallly lik him and wood like 4
him 2 b in more epsiodes
ProtoMan
KI: While I appreciate the eloquence of your letter, I have no plans to include more of you at this time. Thanks for writing!
Our next letter comes straight from a celebrity!
Dear KI,
Please stop sending me
game ideas or I will be forced to get a restraining order.
Sincerely,
Shigeru Miyamoto
KI: Eventually someone will accept my ideas for a MegaMan Jr. High video game, and when they do everyone who laughed at my comedy will pay!
One final letter:
Dear
KI,
I think ProtoMan should have a significant presence in more
episodes/
KI: ENOUGH! Okay, when we come back I'll have a never before seen compile of out takes!
Act break.
Act 3:
KI: There have been so many classic MegaMan Jr. High moments. Like those 2 or 3 times I thought up a joke instead of stealing it. But as you know, the GameFAQs TOS can be strict in some ways. So I'd like to show you a list of jokes I decided were too hot for GameFAQs. I'd like to, but I've got a lot of karma and LUE access, I'm not risking it for you! Instead, I'll be showing out takes from episodes. Jokes I just didn't have the budget or time (in other words, that I forgot to include) in classic episodes!
As mentioned, in the real megaMan in middle school comic MegaMan's name is Rocky Light. What if I had kept it that way? here's a deleted scene from Episode 1: The First Day of School:
Rocky sits down in class. The person sitting next to him turns around and talks to him.
Student: What's your name?
Rocky: Rocky Light.
Student: That sounds like a beer.
Rocky: Well what's yours?
Student: Budweiser.
KI: And remember when in Episode 14: Chip Collecting when MegaMan was... well, the title explains itself. Here's a cut scene:
Light: I don't want you collecting those battle chips!
MegaMan: But all my friends do!
Light: If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump to?
MegaMan: No...
Light: Wimp! You'll never get popular with that attitude, and it's battle chip's fault no doubt!
KI: And remember the classic N-Gage episode, Episode 10: MegaMan's First Job? Here's a scene you didn't see:
MegaMan explodes into hundreds of pieces.
Light: You bought an N-Gage, didn't you? Oh well, better reassemble you.
Cut to later.
Light: Good as new! Good thing you bought that GameStop cleaning kit!
MegaMan: I'm glad that's over.
Light: Actually, I have to destroy and rebuild you every week. That's what the cleaning kit instructions say.
MegaMan: Why'd I buy a Windows XP cleaning kit?...
KI: In the recent Episode 36: The Game Unveiling MegaMan and his friends got the first glimpse of Mario 128. Or did they?
Zero: Stop lying, you just took the disc from Miyamoto's jacket!
Wily: Well how else was I supposed to get it, it's very well guarded and elusive!
Cut to Miyamoto's house on Halloween:
Children: Trick or treat!
Miyamoto: Here you go, free pre-release copies of Mario 128!
Kid: Thanks! But can we also have candy? Hideo Kojima gave us candy with our free copies of Metal Gear Solid 3.
KI: If that's what I cut out, what I leave in must be pure gold! Directly stolen gold, but still gold. And so, our 38/39th episode spectacular draws to a close. But I think one more guest is coming! The silent partner, co creator of this show, Matt Groening!
Matt: What are you doing in my house? Aren't you that lunatic we found trying to steal future Simpsons episode scripts?
KI: I'm, um, one of those Simpsons in the background of the Simpsons Gene episode...
Matt: No you're not! Those were cartoon characters, I knew them all personally! You broke into my house!
KI: And that concludes our special. Stay tuned for the next MegaMan Jr. High!
Matt: I'm calling the police.