Everyone can say what they wanna say

It never gets better anyway

So why should I care 'bout a bad reputation.

---Bad Reputation, Joan Jett

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Sunday morning Veronica opened her eyes and it took a moment to realize that she was at home. As she sat up in bed she couldn't figure out how she got there, or how she had managed to change out of her cloths and into pajama's.

"Nothing happened." She assured herself as she got up and started to change out of her clothes.

She slid the pajama bottom's down and as she did, gasped at how sore they were. Even when she was twelve and she played soccer they never hurt like this.

"Dear god nothing happened." She said her once assuring words now a prayer.

She quickly changed into jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and hurried downstairs. As she got to the bottom of the stairs she could hear her parents in the kitchen.

"Staying like this isn't fair for any of us." Lianne said

"So that's it. You've made up your mind, just like that?"

"Keith, my mind has been made up for a while."

"When are we going to tell Veronica?"

"Why don't you tell her now." Veronica said walking into the kitchen

"Veronica, I didn't know that you were home."

"Cut the small talk mom. Just tell me. Tell me that you and dad are getting divorced."

"Sweetie, we didn't want you to find out like this."

"I know dad."

"I'm going to start packing." Lianne announced as she exited the room

"I know that this must be really hard for you." Keith said placing a hand on his daughter's shoulder, "You want to get out of here? Go get breakfast?"

"They're not serving breakfast anymore." Veronica told him, "But lunch sounds good."

"Lunch it is then."

"I've got to go do a couple things first. Can you take me to the Kanes?"

"Why do you need to go there?"

"I left my car there last night."

"Alright."

Ten minutes later Veronica got out of her dad's car and shut the door.

"I'll call you when I'm done okay?"

"Alright. I'll talk to you then."

Veronica watched her dad drive away and then headed over to her car.

"Hey you." Duncan said coming outside, "You've got great timing. I just called your house. You okay?"

'My parent's are getting divorced and I might have been raped.' She thought, but out loud with a fake smile on her face she told him, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Lilly and I were really worried about you when we couldn't find you last night."

"Well I'm fine."

"I'm glad."

They both stood still for a minute and then Veronica tilted her head and looked at her ex boyfriend, "Can I ask you a weird question?"

"Sure."

"Did you see me last night after we got to Shelly's?"

"Why?"

"I don't really remember a lot of last night."

"I'm not surprised. And yeah I did see you."

"Wanna tell me what happened?"

"Veronica..."

"Duncan, I need to know."

"Okay. I only saw you for a little bit. You were pretty drunk, and I took you upstairs to an empty room to sleep it off."

"Did I hit on you?"

"No."

"You sure?"

Suddenly Veronica's phone began to ring. She pulled it out of her pocked and looked down at the caller ID.

She put the phone on silent and then looked back at Duncan.

"Who was that?"

"Unknown number." She told him, "Now can we get back on track?"

"I am sure that you didn't hit on me."

"Did I make out with Dick?"

"No!" Duncan exclaimed, taken aback, "Why all the questions?"

"I'm curious. Now, I've got to go."

"Veronica, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." She told him as she got into her car, "Could you keep this a secret?"

"Veronica..."

"Please?"

"Sure."

"Thank you." Veronica said as she started the car and began to drive it away.

About a block away Veronica pulled the car over and put in park. She pulled out her phone and dialed information.

"Hi," She said trying not to cry, "Can I have the number for the Neptune Woman's clinic?"

"One moment." the operator said

An hour and a half Veronica sat in a booth at a nearby restaurant waiting for her father to show up. Suddenly her phone began to ring.

"Who is this?" Veronica asked answering the phone with out checking the caller id.

"It's Lilly. Chill."

"Sorry, some number I don't recognize has been calling all morning and it's starting to bug me. What's up?"

"Can you come over?"

"I'm about to have lunch with my dad. Why, what's going on?"

"Duncan told me that you asked him if you hit on him last night and that you don't remember anything that happened."

'Now I see what keep this a secret means to Duncan.' Veronica thought

"Veronica you still there?"

"Yeah." Veronica said trying to think of something to tell her best friend. Suddenly she spotted her dad walking her way, "I've gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Hi daddy." Veronica said as she slid her phone into her purse.

"You cut your hair!" Keith exclaimed as he sat down in the booth

"What do think?" She asked as she ran her hands through her hair, slightly missing the 6 inches that were cut off.

"I like it. So this was what you had to do?"

"Yeah." She told him.

'Among other things.' She thought and remembered what had happened just an hour earlier.

Veronica sat in the empty waiting room flipping through an Entertainment Weekly that was over a year old.

"Ms. Smith? Karen Smith?" A petite woman in her mid forties called walking into the waiting room.

"That's me." Veronica said standing up.

"Right this way, Karen." The woman said holding the door open

"So, your mom and I had a talk and we think it would be best if both of us shared custody of you." Keith said, pulling Veronica back to reality.

"I don't think so." Veronica said taking a sip of her lemonade, "I'm going to live with you."

"Are you sure that that's best? I mean you're changing so much and would you be comfortable going through these things with out your mom close..."

"Dad," Veronica interrupted him, "If you're about to give me the whole you're becoming a woman speech you can stop right now 'cause I've already started my period."

"There are other things..."

"I don't want to live with her. That's that."

"Alright I'll talk to her."

Monday morning came all too soon for Veronica. It was hard enough having to go through this the first time around but the second time was even harder. And throwing her parents divorce into the mix only made things harder. As she stood in the bathroom at school, checking her make up in the mirror she saw Lilly walk in.

"Check you out Veronica Mars. You're like a rocker chick now!" Lilly said, coming up to her behind her, in her usual bubby manner, "Nice hair cut."

"Thanks Lilly." Veronica said as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"So, you never called me back last night."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I got busy."

"Okay I understand. You do know that if there's anything you want to talk to me about you can. Right?"

"I know." Veronica said as she pushed her bag up on her shoulder and started to head towards the door, "I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Okay."

Veronica walked to the door and stopped when Lilly called out her name.

"I think you should know, there are a lot of rumor's going around about you."

'Doesn't surprise me.' Veronica thought, and out loud she said, "I don't care. Now, I've really gotta go. Talk to you later."

By the time last block rolled around Veronica had heard so many different rumors she couldn't even tell which of theme were true which weren't. As she stood getting a drink from the water fountain she felt some one tap her on the shoulder.

"No, I did not pleasure the entire basketball team while hopped up on goofball pills." Veronica said turning around to come face to face with Mac.

"Good to know Veronica."

"Sorry I'm just..."

"Tired of people asking questions that's not their business?"

"Exactly."

The girls started to walk down the hall towards the history wing when they passed Madison and her gang of mean girls who all in unison did the slut cough.

"That's classy." Mac said rolling her eyes, "What are we in eighth grade?"

"Let me handle this." Veronica turned around and headed strait towards Madison calling out, "Hey Madison!"

"What do you want Veronica?" Madison asked crossing her arms

"I want to know what I did to make you hate me."

"You know what you did."

"No I don't."

"Well you did sleep with a lot of guys at Shelly's. Why would my boyfriend even leave an impression?"

"I didn't sleep with Dick."

"Don't deny it. And don't give me that 'I was so wasted' line either. I heard it strait from Dick. He's bragging about it to everyone."

Veronica stood there, feeling like her legs were going to give out from under her. She took a few deep breaths, shook her head and headed down the hall strait towards Mr. Rooks classroom where Dick was standing outside of talking to Sean.

"Hi Lover." Veronica said pushing Sean out of the way.

"Veronica Mars" he sighed turning his face out of the shadows revealing a large bruise across his eye, "I'm not in the mood."

"Well I'm not in the mood to be harassed by your girlfriend because I had sex with you." Veronica used air quotes around the last four words.

"Like I told your boyfriend I didn't have sex with you."

"My boyfriend?" Veronica questioned him

"Logan. I mean why would someone stand up for a slut like you unless they were getting some?"

"Look, I know that we didn't have sex, but why are you telling everyone we did?"

"I told Logan, one of my best friends, the truth he still did this to me." Dick said pointing to his face, "I figured I might as well get something for my trouble."

"Well aren't you a real..." Veronica pretended to search for the right word, "Dick."

Veronica turned around and headed strait towards the first available door leading outside. She hurried to her car and got in. And then as if on auto pilot she started to drive. The drive was a blur, the only thing she could think about was the previous day.

Veronica sat in a cold beige colored examining room dressed in a paper gown.

"Have you ever had sex before?" the petite woman, who Veronica had learned was named Rose, asked.

"No." Veronica whispered.

"Oral sex?"

"No."

"Okay, Karen. Just lay back and we'll perform the examination now."

Veronica laid back and closed her eyes. The exam went by quicker than she had expected, and she kept her mind busy by reciting the multiplication tables.

"Okay, you can sit up now." Rose said, taking rubber gloves off.

"What's up?" Veronica asked sitting up.

"This is my favorite part of my job. I am happy to tell you that you were not raped."

"I wasn't raped." Veronica whispered.

Suddenly Veronica came back to reality and realized that she was parked outside Logan's mom's house. She sat in the car wondering if this was the right thing to do. Finally she decided that it was so she got out of the car, walked up to the door and knocked twice.

"I'll get it!" She heard Logan call from inside. He came to the door and opened it with a twenty dollar bill in his hand.

"Hi." Veronica said timidly.

"You're not chinese." Logan said as he slid the money into his pocket.

"Sorry to disappoint you. Can I come in? It'll only take a minute."

"Yeah." He held the door open and Veronica walked in and for the first time she noticed the large bruise on his face and that he was holding his side.

"Did Dick do that to you?" She asked running the back of her hand over the bruise.

"Oh please. You could take Dick in a fight."

"Then who?" Veronica asked and Logan gave her a look that said 'are you really asking that?', "Stupid question."

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"You found Dick and I together in the room at Shelly's. Then I'm guessing you took me home. Am I right?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you stay with me? Tell me at least."

"I tried to. I was calling you all day yesterday."

"No you didn't. I have you on my speed dial. It would tell me if you called. So unless..." Suddenly it hit her, "Unless you called from another number. You called from another number."

"My phone got broke during the fight with Dick. I haven't been able to get a new one so I've been using my mom's."

"God!" Veronica exclaimed running her hands through her hair, "I'm so stupid!"

"Come here." Logan said pulling her into a hug, "It's okay."

"Don't!" She told him pushing herself away, "I don't want to go through this again."

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? This! This is wrong. You and me, this dance we do. I'm sick of it. We broke up and then we keep doing all this crap that makes me think that I actually have a chance. But we don't and you know what? I'm done. You can follow me around thinking that we have a chance for a while."

Veronica hurried out of the house, got in the car and all Logan was able to do was stand at the door watching her drive away. As the dust that her tires had stirred up settled back down to the ground Logan remembered the last time he saw Veronica on friendly terms.

Logan sat on the edge of Veronica's bed stroking her head as she tossed and turned.

"It's okay." He said trying to sooth her.

"Logan?" She groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey sleepy."

"What are you doing here?" Veronica asked, sitting up in bed

"I took you home. Do you not remember?"

"No, I don't."

"It's okay."

"Why do my legs hurt so badly?"

"You took a couple spills coming down the stairs. But you'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Veronica tried to hold back a yawn with no luck.

"You should try to get some more sleep." Logan said as he brushed a strand of hair from her face, "I'll stay with you as long as you need."

"Are you sure? Shouldn't you be home?"

"My dad probably doesn't even realize that I'm not back yet."

"Okay."

Veronica laid back down and minutes after her head hit the pillow she was fast asleep once again.

"Veronica are you awake?" Logan whispered and when she didn't respond he took a seat on the floor and started stroking her forehead with his thumb.

"Veronica, I'm sorry this happened. I never wanted you to get hurt like this. In fact that's why I've been hurting you away the way that I have, so you wouldn't get hurt. That's irony for you. I promise though, I will always protect you even if that means doing everything in my power to make you want to stay as far away from me as possible."

After two hours of driving around town she found herself standing at the Kane's front door. She tried to keep herself from breaking down but as she knocked gently she realized she couldn't do it and let the tears flow freely down her cheeks.

"Veronica?" Duncan asked opening the door

Veronica opened her mouth to speak but the only thing that came out was a large sob.

"Come here." Duncan said taking her into her arms.