Episode 39: Sigma's Rise
Behind the scenes:
ProtoMan: Did you get my letters?
KI: Yes, and I'm still not giving you a larger or more frequent presence in episodes!
ProtoMan: This isn't fair!
KI: Well, you're not going to change my mind.
Bender bursts in.
Bender: Do you have change for the vending machine?
KI: Sure, here you go.
Bender leaves.
ProtoMan: This isn't fair!
KI: Life isn't fair, meaning we don't need to make any effort to work towards justice. Just like how we don't put any effort into medicine since we'll all eventually die.
Sigma barges in.
Sigma: This isn't fair! Recently I've been left out of episodes! I'm supposed to be a main villian, but I'm being ignored like ProtoMan!
KI: WHAT? This is an outrage! I will immediately give you an episode focused around you, and make sure you're given more focus in the future.
ProtoMan: WHAT? But I... why don't I get anything?
KI: Well, for one thing Sigma's name is already in the episode title. Let's begin!
It was another day at MegaMan Jr. High. It was night time and Sigma and Wily were having a meeting.
Sigma: Wily, I gave you two simple orders. Destroy MegaMan and tape American Idol, and you haven't done either!
Wily: It's not my fault! We're on a cliched show, no one on those can program VCRs!
Sigma: Fine, but you still haven't destroyed MegaMan!
Wily: We're on a cliched show, the main character can't be defeated!
Sigma: What in the world made you think an excuse like that would work? I wanted results, and you failed! I'm taking over as principal and demoting you to vice principal!
Wily: Wouldn't that mean you're demoting yourself also?
Sigma: Silence! A new regime has started in MegaMan Jr. High, and this one will succeed in destroying MegaMan!
Wily: Really?
Sigma: Of course not, this is a cliched show, the main character can't be defeated!
Act break.
Act 2:
It was the next day. MegaMan went to school, at the new evening time. An assembly was called.
Sigma: School, as you know our purpose is to best educate the children of RockMan City. For this reason, and only this reason, I'm demoting Wily for failing to destroy MegaMan. He will be vice principal from now on, and I will be principal.
Zero: Can we finally learn about evolution?
Sigma: NO! If evolution was true, how do you explain this show being created? Anyway, there will be significant changes in this school.
Roll: Like what?
Sigma: The teacher's names will end with an animal instead of Man.
ElecMan: This isn't good, he's going to replace us just because his robots are more powerful, intelligent, and creative! But we were created by a stereotypical mad scientist, doesn't that count for anything?
GutsMan: We can't let this happen! We must preserve the classic MegaMan Jr. High!
Sigma: I'll put safety guards on the thumb tacks.
ElecMan: All hail principal Sigma!
Wily: A few teachers explode from putting up posters and suddenly my safety measures aren't good enough...
Sigma: So go back to class. Except you MegaMan, I want to talk to you in private over the intercom.
MegaMan goes into Sigma's office.
Sigma: MegaMan, as you've no doubt figured out this school's sole purpose is to destroy you. But you keep evading destruction! So I've got ONE question for you... will you tape American Idol?
MegaMan: I guess so.
Sigma: Now that we've got the important stuff out of the way, prepare for a fight to the death with one of my reploids!
MegaMan: How can I tape American Idol if I'm dead?
Sigma: I belong to an obscure cult that believes ghosts can interact with VCRs. It's the second smallest group I belong to, next to American Idol fans.
MegaMan: So who do I have to fight?
Sigma: I've spent a long time deciding the perfect reploid to defeat you, and after intense research I've decided to go with whoever KI picks.
KI: I choose... Squirtle!
Sigma: Forget it, fight Storm Eagle!
And so MegaMan prepares for his second fight with a reploid. Can MegaMan win?
Sigma: No, I'm using Fred Meyer Select reploid brains this time!
Act break.
Act 3:
The battle has begun.
MegaMan: I may be at a disadvantage, but I know I can win!
Eagle: You know you can win? I only thought I was going to win, I can't/
Sigma: Just fight him you idiot!
Eagle: Fine. Take this MegaMan!
Storm Eagle uses a wind blast to push MegaMan into the wall.
Sigma: What was the point of that?
Eagle: Didn't you read my resume? I can only win matches fought over bottomless pits.
Sigma: ARGH! Wait, I've got an idea!
Sigma presses a button. The school soars into the sky and the walls dissapear.
Sigma: Now that's a view! Oh, and...
Sigma sprays some Bottomless Pit in a Can on the ground.
Eagle: You're doomed MegaMan!
MegaMan: I'll find a way to win!
Eagle: Nothing can stop me!
KI: Squirtle! Use Water Gun!
Squirtle: Squirtle!
Squirtle blasts Storm Eagle.
KI: Now use tackle!
Squirtle: Squirt squirt Squirtle squirt!
Squirtle tackles Storm Eagle. KI throws a Pokeball. It shakes a couple times then stops.
KI: I caught a Storm Eagle!
Squirtle: Victory is ours!
Sigma: Get out of my office!
KI leaves.
Sigma: Well MegaMan, you may have won this round. But I'll think of a way to prevent that extremely unlikely outcome from ever happening again!
MegaMan: Aren't you going to stop being principal for no reason and have everything go back to normal?
Sigma: No, I'm staying in charge!
MegaMan: But I never thought Wily! Is this going to be like Power Rangers where the main villian is never fought?
Sigma: No, Wily will remain on the show as vice principal. And I won't be replaced! Unless Lord Zed shows up.
And so MegaMan Jr. High's balance of power shifts. Stay tuned for the next episode of Mighty Morphin MegaMan Jr. High Neo in Space Ninja Storm!