Episode 40: The School Reviewer
Note: Bandia made me change the name of the show back to the original.
It was school inspection week again in RockMan City. Once again, MegaMan Jr. High was closed that week. The main characters went on an uneventful trip to Obscure Reference City. They came back, and Wily and Sigma were meeting with Mayor PharaohMan.
PharaohMan: You can't keep closing the school! You have to undergo an inspection!
Sigma: Can't the Super Intendent overrule that?
Wily: We don't have a Super Intendent anymore, you demoted yourself to principal!
Sigma: Quiet or I'll make you janitor!
JunkMan: Hey, I have tenure!
PharaohMan: Look, just take the inspection. I'll send the most incompetent reviewer I can find. I'll be back right after I call GamePro.
PharaohMan leaves and comes back.
PharaohMan: Good news! I got someone even better!
Sigma: Better in what sense?
PharaohMan: Worse! Your school reviewer will be a celebrity.
Sigma: From American Idol?
PharaohMan: Get over that! The origin of that joke was just KI thinking up a stupid reason you had to leave in your first episode! No, the reviewer of your school will be/
Wily: Shouldn't you save that for the act break?
PharaohMan: NO! Everyone's sick of that! Your reviewer will be Tommy Tallarico!
Sigma: He's brilliant! Toilet Paper Mario, it works on so many levels... Toilet humor, immature humor, I can't believe a grown man said that humor...
PharaohMan: So it's settled. He'll come next week.
Wily: Finally, we can go back into the school.
The group ends their meeting at McDonalds and they leave.
Sigma: Wily, we have to get that school into shape! Show we're not some tyranncially run school that doesn't care at all about student's rights. Make the students come in to work during the weekend!
And so a Saturday assembly is called.
MegaMan: I hate these, last time we had one I missed Totally Spies.
Sigma: I've called you here because your school needs YOU! We have an inspection coming up, and we have to get this school ready!
Zero: Why should we care about the school?
Sigma: We force you to come every day against your will, who wouldn't volunteer to help a place like that?
Wily: So everyone pull a job out chore hat.
Hard Hat Mac: That's my hat! Give it back!
Everyone pulls a job out.
MegaMan: I have to clean the windows.
Roll: I have to repair that wall things keep crashing through.
Zero: I won a free Big Mac!
Bass: I get the last line before the act break.
MegaMan: Finally, you win something. Oops, sorry.
Act break.
Act 2:
Bass: ARGGHHH!
Sigma: Get to work!
So the students set to work on getting the school ready. They do, and Monday arrives (you try writing entertaining dialogue about cleaning a school!).
Sigma: Our reviewer will be here any minute!
Zero: Who is it?
Sigma: A genious! He was voted most unfair, intelligent reviewer by a group of anti-Nintendo trolls!
A car pulls up in front of the school. Tommy Tallarico steps out.
Tommy: I, the genious who composed watered down versions of songs from Aladdin, am here! And I'm with my friend, LaughtrackMan. Time to review... FartMan Jr. High!
LaughtrackMan: LOL!
KI appears.
KI: Found him. Get him Squirtle!
Squirtle attacks LaughtrackMan. KI catches him in a Pokeball.
KI: Back to jail for you.
KI leaves.
Tommy: Well, I'm sure I'll find someone else who apreciates my mature, sophisticated humor. Time to review the school!
Tommy goes inside.
We interrupt this episode for a required weekly test.
Tornado Tonion: Okay class, it's time for a science test!
Question 1: What is the scientific method for avoiding drowning or being burned?
Answer: Being blue or red.
Question 2: Will detonating an atomic bomb right infront of you hurt you?
Answer: Not if it isn't meant to.
Question 3: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Answer: Because you overused that joke answer.
Question 4: Is SNES the best system ever made?
Answer: You're under arrest for having to ask.
And so Tornado Tonion is taken away. We will return to our regular programming after the act break.
Act break.
Act 3:
Tommy: Time to review the school!
He looks around.
Tommy: These seats look like they were made for jr high kids! Kiddy, points deducted.
Sigma: This is a Jr. High School!
Tommy: No excuses fanboy! Being biased towards the school you run, how could you?
Tommy keeps looking around. He goes into the bathroom and breaks into uncrontrollable laughter.
Wily: I don't see what's so funny.
Tommy: You're just too immature to get it! Points deducted for you vice prinicpal having a different sense of humor than me.
MegaMan: What happens if this school gets a bad review anyway?
Tommy: Trolls will pretend I was fair.
Tommy keeps looking around.
Tommy: Horrible class room designs, maybe if it were in an awesome school like Halo Jr. High...
Zero: This is ridiculous, you're a raving lunatic who isn't qualified to review anything!
KI: I would have liked to have been a little more agressive in that area.
Tommy: Silence fanboy!
KI: Who are you talking to?
Tommy: Shut up This joke was reviewed by KI Simpson and deemed too likely to result in moderation, since karma means infinitely more to him then your enjoyment of the show
Sigma: Why are you being so hard on our school?
Tommy: Silence! I've played more games for 5 seconds then you have!
Sigma: Fine, just give us our score.
Tommy: Your school is kiddy, the graphics are terrible, and it doesn't have any blood. But I liked the music you played in the hallway so I give it a 10/10.
Wily: Wow.
MegaMan: Guess we're not going to fight him after all. A refreshingly peaceful ending.
A warpstar crashes through the wall.
Wily: Why do we even bother fixing that wall?
Kirby gets off his warpstar.
Tommy: Well if it isn't the star of Kirby's Fart Adventure! You're pink!... I miss LaughtrackMan.
Kirby: I'm sick and tired of your horrible show!
Tommy: What are you going to do you stupid E rated/
Kirby inhales the fighter power and uses a powerful combo on Tommy which sends him flying.
Tommy: I'll be back! Kirby can't protect you forever!
Kirby: There's a huge waiting list for opportunities to beat you up.
And so MegaMan Jr. High passes inspection. Stay tuned for the next episode of MegaMan Jr. High, and know I'm not getting soft on guest stars after Miyamoto and Matt Groening.