Chapter 9: Dreams Frozen in Ice
A/N: Hey, you all know that I updated chapter 8, right? Cause I had an author's note for chapter 8 last time some of you might have checked. OK? Just making sure.
This chapter starts out a little confusing, but to those who are wondering, yes, this is Adina's dream. It reveals much of her past, meaning her childhood in the perspective of her mother, which might be strange. If you need more info, it's on my bio. So bare with me, cause I hope it is as interesting to read as it was for me to write. Enjoy!
The pure color of snow covered on through the lands as far as the view from the window would allow sight. Frost was gathered on the window plane and balcony, and a freezing, bitter wind struck the faces of any unlucky travelers.
Though the description of such a place could paint either a picture of a winter wonderland or a frozen wasteland, it was a wonder to all that laid eyes on it. For a particular onlooker, to whom was presently gazing out to the blinding white it remained to be a signal of the time the endless days of winter always brought about.
Aiana let the sight of pure, uninterrupted blanket of light fill her senses, as her eyes continued searching for something she knew wouldn't be there, but that she would always continue to seek.
'How long has it been since he has last come home to us?' she knew deep in her heart the answer that was as clear as the crystal like structures hanging over her window in the form of jagged teeth. Her mate was not going to come back to her and their child because he couldn't.
'Thanks to the curse on his kind, the birth of our daughter became the beginning to his destruction. And he will continue to stay away, convinced he is a threat to his own blood.' She knew he was right. Aiana had first hand witnessed the effects of the ailment since the day she had birthed her child.
The wretched spell that a very distant ancestor had placed upon all that carried the mix of blood her mate had been born with now haunted his steps. And deep down, she had known that he would not be able to suppress the curse forever. Oh, but he had tried. And he had lasted a good five years before it had threatened to overwhelm him.
Their daughter was still so young, and innocent, and was the only being in any world that missed him even as half as much as she did. Aiana felt the desperation her kind always did when separated from their mate. Fox demons grew very attached to their loved ones; kin, lover, and child.
And she was now consumed with the need to be once more by his side.
"Aunt. Mistress Aiana, is this a bad time?" The timid shape of her niece appeared from behind a nearby pillar.
Sighing, she nodded calling to her, "You may enter Suana. What is it you need of me?"
Smiling, the young teen stepped forward, a look of importance in her eyes.
"Auntie, Adira has become restless and demands that now that the blizzard has ceased that you take her on the walk you promised her," her voice carried through the chilled hall, in an apparent futile attempt to warm the frozen air.
Aiana forced a smile. "Of course she did. My child is very intuitive for her age, but also very curious. Not always the best of matches," she added with almost a giggle, "Tell her that if she wants to go today, that she will have to get dressed in the proper attire for this bitter weather. I will meet her by her door in the hour."
And so, with her message, the young girl left the presence of her elder, and went to fulfill her duty.
Aiana once more turned her gaze out the window once more before beckoning a servant making their rounds with orders to retrieve her cloak.
Walking to her child's room on the fourth level, she was greeted a shrill of pure joy from her daughter. Wrapped in her soft, pale rabbit fur cloak, Aiana's whole world beamed at her with a light and warmth that the sun could never offer, melting the frozen layers of sorrow around her heart.
Though her existence was the reason her mate was absent from her side, she would never wish away the small delight her child gave her.
Bending to her level, she allowed Adira to wrap her small arms around her mother's neck as she stood and began to walk towards the stairs, and after to the door exiting out to the gardens. Though the flowers were now in their winter slumber, the shimmer of the frozen water gave an ethereal aura to the place that appeared to be void of life.
Only when Adira whined did she lower her gently to the ground and onto her feet. Giggling, she began to run around the snow-covered paradise, under the arcs where the gardeners were to grow next year's roses.
A look of eternal peace crossed Aiana's face as she saw the simple pleasure of her daughter. No pain or suffering touched her innocent world, only a subtle loneliness caused by the absence of her father. Her daughter might not feel the ache that Aiana did, but she felt the gap within their small family.
Even in these depressing times, Aiana found it easier to find an inner calm as long as she was in the company of her only child. The child, though was almost her identical, that possessed her father's silvery eyes. Those eyes alone healed some of the pain, but also created new ones.
"Mommy…" came a quiet voice, filled with concern, revealing ancient consciousness inside a tiny child. "What's wrong?"
She let a reassuring smile cross her face.
"I was only in deep thought, Adira. I am sorry if I seemed unhappy to you. It gives me great joy spending time with you, my dear."
Satisfied, the small kit giggled, "I love being with you too Mommy."
Such simple spoken words made the kitsune mother's lonely heart melt with pleasure. 'Yes. My daughter is my dearest treasure, one I will never lose and I would die protecting her.'
"Hey, Mommy? Can we go on the path we found with Daddy?"
Her thoughts halted, and her smile faltering before she recovered replying yes.
Youko sat up, puzzled by what had awoken him. Yes, he was a light sleeper, but something seemed wrong to him. Glancing around the room, he saw nothing out of the ordinary, that it until he heard the restless breathing and troublingly fast heartbeat of the other occupant of the room.
Lifting himself to his feet, he moved to the side of her futon, kneeling beside her to see what disturbed her.
To his surprise, she was most definitely still asleep. Actually, she was deep into a dream, by the look of it. Her eyes were moving from underneath the sanctuary of her eyelids, apparently searching frantically for something.
Since it appeared not to be the worst of visions, he decided against waking her. But he also found himself unable to remove himself from her bedside.
So, instead of fighting it off, he allowed himself to give into his instincts, even if they were screaming at him to protect her.
'Protect her from what I wonder?'
Trusting his instincts, he continued to watch as she went from a dream to a nightmare.
As they walked down the path that should not have survived the blizzard's wrath, Aiana sighed wearily to herself. She had not walked through there in more than a year, and the pain almost brought tears to her eyes once more.
Adira hummed to herself a bittersweet tune that was taught to all young children through the ages of their great city. It was usually sung with the songs of the ancient story, belonging to Aiana's own ancestor's tragic love.
The lovely, powerful duchess had had a love affair with one of her father's guards, who was sworn to protect her. Though no one discovered the truth until the end of her life, the tale ended with her lover going to war, and though he did return, he was mortally wounded and died within the night of his arrival.
Given the honor of a noble death, the woman was present at the funeral, disguised in a black veil, as her father was present. Weeks passed and she discovered she was pregnant with her true love's child. She kept it hidden from all but her trusted bodyguard, a powerful shadow-dancer from distant lands.
And though they had managed to keep the pregnancy a secret, more misfortune followed claiming the life of her father in the winter due to illness. One of her main regrets was the hiding of the heir from her only family, making her feel deceitful towards all she had known.
Though she did manage to give birth the child, a boy, her sorrow from the losses caused her death in childbirth. Left with his mother's trusted advisor, he was raised into royalty, and in honor of the child's tragic heritage, the mystical spell caster created the poem that became the city's most meaningful and important song, a piece of their history portraying all of the life lessons prized to their culture and way of life.
Aiana had never felt more compassionate and understanding to another living creature as she did the ancient princess. As she had died of sadness, Aiana wished she could as well, held to the earth only by her child. And no matter what, she would have it no other way. No one told the continuation of the story passed the shadow-dancer's gift to the family, but the son of the two lovers ended up lonely and confused, with no one to guide or to truly love him the way he should've been loved.
Yes, the family's servant did all she could, but no matter how heroic and sad the mother's fate was meant to be told, Aiana found it selfish that instead of trying to live in memory of her mate, and for the good of their child, she lost to her pain and lonliness, giving in to be happy, leaving her son to live with her everlasting pain.
She would never wish such a thing upon someone as pure and warm as her daughter.
As they continued walking through the snow, Adira keeping the tune going through the chilly air, Aiana spotted a figure moving towards them.
"Adira, come back to over to me now," she called to her, mentally cursing herself for allowing her to get that far ahead of her.
Surprise showed on the child's face, but she didn't question her mother's judgment. Moving to her side, Adira found herself pushed behind her mother, shielded.
Aiana didn't like the smell of the wind that brought the stranger's scent closer. With a start she recognized the familiar scent. One can not easily forget their mate's scent, nor their father's.
"Mommy! It's Daddy, isn't it!" The child was excited, and squirming to get a better view of him.
Still, Aiana didn't like it. Something didn't feel right. Part of her was jumping for joy as her daughter, another told her to be cautious, and not to allow him close to Adira.
"Adira, I want you to wait here while I talk to him first."
Whining, she begged her mother to let her join her in greet him as well. Aiana stood firm instead compromising.
"Your father hasn't seen your snow angels yet has he? How about while I talk to him, you make the most perfect one you can, and then can show him once we are done."
She almost continued to argue, but at the thought of impressing her father, whom she had not seen in almost a year, with her favorite outside pastime was too good to pass up.
Watching her run off, Aiana turned to her long-gone mate. Stepping to meet him so that even their daughter's keen sense of hearing was slightly thrown off, and if the discussion were to turn bad, she wouldn't know immediately.
"Otomei, love, is it really you?" she murmured for only his ears.
When he got close enough, she saw his beautiful eyes, the ones Adira had inherited from him, were as empty and dead as a dried up river, once so full of life and joy.
Backing up to put a safe distance between them, she looked over his other features. His shoulder-length indigo, almost black hair was thinner then it had last been, and not very well kept. His skin was taut, and pale, seeming withered from hard traveling and hardship. His clothes, though in somewhat better condition than himself, were still worn well from the elements.
"What happened to you?"
He seemed to be ignoring her question as he turned his head in silence, almost frighteningly, to look upon his daughter.
Seeing no warmth in his eyes as he saw her, she gasped. The eyes she loved so much were as emotionless as a void, and she came to a horrifying realization.
"You lost…didn't you?" Though her voice didn't go above a whisper, she knew he heard her from the flicker in his eyes. She wanted to release a sigh of relief thinking he was not yet overrun and that he would continue to fight. But seeing his condition, and how dead he already seemed, she knew it was already lost, and that the last bit of him that was alive was just barely fighting the evil that was devouring him.
He turned the rest of his body, and began a slow pace towards their child. Aiana, suddenly shocked out of her stillness, ran in front of him, unsure of his intentions.
"What are you planning to do to her?" she demanded.
He merely went to walk around her. Aiana would allow none of that. Grabbing his arm, she attempted to pull him away from Adira's direction.
He suddenly seemed to snap, pulling free of her grasp, before grabbing her arm and digging his nails into it.
Wincing from the sting of the needle-sharp claws, she gasped, trying to remove them desperately. He released her immediately, harshly shoving her to the ground beside him, turning to catch a glance of the being that had cried out seeing her mother attacked.
With tears in her eyes, Adira looked from her mother to her father in utter confusion and betrayal.
"Daddy, why did you hurt Mommy? Why!" she almost screamed.
He suddenly approached her with a speed the was very different from that of his earlier tempo.
Seeing what he was about to, Aiana lifted herself up, yelling, "Adira, run!"
But it was too late. There was no chance she could get away. She had been nailed to the ground in shock and pain, and now she was stuck due to fear.
Grabbing her around the neck with his hand, the ones that used to hold her lovingly were squeezing the very life from her. The father that snuggled with her and her mother during cold evenings and chilly mornings, and protected her from all her nightmares had now become the worst of them all. No monster was as horrifying.
As she struggled to breath, choking while trying to escape his ruthless grasp, she noticed movement from behind her. Before she knew it, she saw her mother speeding toward them both, a wild desperation hiding behind tears of the most terrible pain one could ever experience.
Unfortunately for them both, he noticed as well. Tossing Adira to the side as recklessly as one would a doll, he swiftly spun a round and met her intentional shove by sending his lengthening claws through her gut.
Youko saw the apparent change in her quicker than what should've been possible. While her scent had changed to that of worried, cautious, and even startled, she began to twist painfully, as if she were being painfully ripped apart from the inside out.
And then it went from bad to worse. Adina began to thrash as if hell itself had claimed her for death and was making it as horrible as possible.
Since he had no time to think, he immediately went against what would've been his better judgment not to touch her, and leaned in quickly to restrain her so that she didn't hurt herself.
Unfortunately, she began fighting him as well. Catching a hold of one of her hands, he pulled it above her head, but wasn't able to block her other from entering his shoulder.
Adira could barely see with the spots of light crossing her vision, but she did catch wind of a heavy, metallic scent that began to clench to the very air. Then she realized that the scent assaulting her sensitive nose was that of blood. Lots of blood. Her mother's blood.
Lifting her head, which seemed incredibly heavy, she weakly called out to her mother.
Hearing somewhat of a response, she crawled her way over to the source of the sound, her hands ran through something hot and wet. Blinking rapidly, hoping it wasn't what she knew it to be, she indeed saw the red rose liquid of life that was draining from the most important person in her young life.
Past her, Adira saw the dark spot on the horizon; her father.
"Why…?" she sobbed, whimperingquietly. "How could you do this!"
"Ad..ir..a…." Aiana's voice was no more filled with the warmth it had been. Now it was drained, and even with her innocent mind, Adira knew she was dying.
Seeing her mother coughing up the vital liquid of her body, weakly reaching for her, she let her hold her as she sobbed uncontrollably against her mother's slowing cooling body.
"Adira…love, please listen to me. I fear…I cannot stay long," she managed to gasp out, every breath sending stabbing pains through her.
She obediently met her mother's gaze, though the sorrow shone clear, as she did understand the loss it would be on her soul.
Aiana tried not to weep as she saw the terror in her child's eyes, wishing that this event had been delayed for some years, so that she could've taken better care of her, spent more time loving her, instead of being ripped away from her at this tender age.
"Though I leave you now, do not fear…and please, when you reach maturity, never forget the happenings of today…don't allow the images to leave your mind, for it is very important," she tried to continue, stopping to clear the blood from her throat long enough to emit the message.
"Don't blame your father for this, Adira, never. I must tell you the truth before I pass on and it is lost forever. Your father suffered a terrible curse from an ancient demon upon his race…you see, his soul was unstable, and when you were born, in order to sustain you as his child, part of his soul was given to you, creating a hole in its absence… the emptiness caused him great pain, and evil spirits tried to take advantage of that by possessing him through that void…I know this is much to take in, but please remember this, as it will be more important later in life then it will ever be now.
"Just know that, he did fight against these great evils with all the strength he possessed, but his soul died. Adira, your father was dead before this hellish deed was done…" as much as she tried, Aiana could not fight her own battle with death for much longer. Struggling with the growing darkness, she muttered her last words to the child she died protecting.
"I love you Adira, and I will continue to watch over you from now until you join me, which I pray will be a long time from now…" her breathing slowed, "Please, be safe, and remember what occurred here, and where it is you come from."
As her last breath left her lips, Adira once more lowered her head onto her mother's chest, and cried herself to sleep, barely aware of the approaching presence of a female demon through the fresh fall of snow…
Youko finally managed to catch her other hand on its way to push him off of her, finally disabling her. Pinning her legs to prevent her from doing harm to herself or him, he glanced at her restless face, stiffening as he noticed the scent of tears.
Against his will, he felt compelled to stop her weeping, and in the next wave of emotion, he felt the powerful urge to protect her and viciously drive away whatever was attacking her unconscious form.
Suddenly she ceased struggling, her chest moving up and down under the stress needed to catch a breath. She was shaking slightly, whether from fatigue or crying, Youko hadn't a clue. Probably both.
As her eyelashes fluttered open, he saw the slight glow of her psychic energy as the dream vision ended and the light slowly subsided, revealing frighteningly beautiful, yet sorrow-filled eyes.
Adina's vision finally cleared though was still slightly blurred from the wetness of her tears. Panting, she feverishly gazed back into Youko's concerned amber pools, his hair a veil of silver light shielding her from the darkness of the room.
Seeing her finally aware of her surroundings, he managed to ask, "Are you alright?"
She shivered at the contrast between the cold air on her sweaty body and the heat emitting from Youko.
She was only able to nod, feeling paralyzed beneath him. They kept the position, eyes meeting, lost in thought and stuck from shock.
However, the moment's stillness was broken when Adina felt something warm and thick fall upon her cheek, rolling down to her lips. In a second her senses returned to her, and she both smelt and tasted the mixture of her own salty tears with Youko's coppery blood.
Her gaze shifted from his face to his shoulder, which currently carried a deep gash. Her head whipped to her right hand to see it covered in the vital fluid. She had never used her claws in battle, nor did she plan to, and her already racing heart sped up at the sight of it.
Against all wills she possessed, her mind was attacked by the horrifying images of herself crawling blindly through the snow, feeling the ruby red liquid beneath her previously unstained, innocent fingers.
Remorse filled her along with a self-loathing the she hadn't controlled herself while unconsciously doing something that she had spent the past thirteen years mastering.
"Let me care for your wound," her strangled voice requested.
Seeing her suffering at his pain, he nodded, carefully lifting himself off her, allowing her to sit up.
"Where do you keep you supply of water and bandages?"
"I'll get…" he tried to get out before she cut him off.
"No. Please… I need to do this."
Sighing, knowing that it was futile to argue, he pointed to the bottom drawer of the cabinet that held his poisons and herbs.
Silently standing up, she quickly made her way over to it, opened it, and hastily removed to necessary supplies. Moving once more to the other side of the room, she sat at his injured side, before having him remove his arm from the ripped sleeve.
Even though she was currently exhausted and upset about the recent happenings, she couldn't help but admire his body.
The scarlet color of blood was slowly running down his arm and chest, glistening from the candle she had lit for light. He was a truly beautiful specimen, his muscles rippling with each breath he took, and for a moment, Adina was caught staring.
Choosing not to say anything about her unbroken gaze, he merely shifted in a way that expressed discomfort and pain with his wound.
Shaken from her trance, Adina focused on cleaning the long slash that adorned him.
Youko's curiosity finally overcame him as he asked, "What happened? In the dream."
Her eyes climbed their way back to his face, uncertainty clearly shown. Then, she told him, "My past sometimes come back to haunt me through my dreams, but over the last few years of my life, I've been able to shield myself from seeing those images," turning her gaze from him once more she said, "But now it seems they've returned."
He could feel the pain radiating off of her, and felt empathy towards her in a way he had never felt towards another being.
"Everyone has pasts that haunt them, and most of those have nightmares about it. I was abandoned at birth and left to die, found and then raised as a thief, taught to pillage and murder. Now tell me, what kind of life could one such as yourself suffer?"
Without her turning to face him, he could see her eyes widening, and then closed them tightly. In a quiet voice she explained, "The loss of my mother…by my father's hand. I was only a child, …and my father was fighting off a curse. His soul was destroyed, and the emptiness that consumed him wished to rid itself of all he had loved. I don't know why he didn't finish me off," she answered his unspoken question.
Sighing, she turned back to his wound, and began to wrap the healing clothe around it.
"What happened after that?" Youko asked after he knew she wasn't going to continue.
"You mean, after he left?" seeing him nod she went on, "My master found me next to my mother's body, and she took me in, raised me, then taught me the ways of the dreamwalker. Are you satisfied?"
"I did not mean to pry…I merely wished to understand you, otherwise I won't be able to help you," he explained, slightly taken aback.
"And why, would you want to help me?" she questioned catching his eyes.
He looked away, not liking where this conversation was taking them. For, if she asked the right question, he wouldn't be able to answer it.
Suddenly the bandage, which she was presently tightening, dug into his shoulder, producing a particularly strong sting throughout his entire left side. Involuntarily jerking away from the source, he saw a slight panic touch her eyes, before she quickly reached out putting her palm flat on top of the wound.
He only realized what she planned to too late. She sent a wave of power through him, though surprisingly, it didn't harm him, but instead numbed the pain. But it did harm her.
Reico's wretched curse glowed a sinister black ruby, as Adina winced at the shock wave. Her whole body then tensed up before her clenched eyes relaxed and she fell forward into his chest.
Holding her, he sat stunned. "Why would she do that?"
"It's… somewhat of a reflex of mine," she answered weakly, reading his mind. "And I'm sorry if it seems I am intruding your thoughts, but at the moment, I don't have the energy to control it."
Sighing, she closed her eyes once more, the pain slowly subsiding but never the less leaving her more exhausted then she had ever found herself.
"What am I doing? I should be telling him to put me on my bed, not laying here helplessly…but I am enjoying this too much, aren't I?" She mentally shook her head at her own thoughts. "When have I ever been helpless? And when have I ever enjoyed being held?" Adina's thoughts paused before she came to the obvious conclusion. "Am I truly falling for him? And if so, what could these feelings ever do for either of us?"Deciding she'd done too much thinking for her current condition, she let herself drift off in his arms.
Though Youko knew she didn't intentionally mean to read his thoughts, he knew she especially wouldn't want him inside her mind. Which thankfully did not happen. Not totally at least.
He could sense the emotions running through her, though the actual thoughts were heavily guarded. Still, every feeling she momentarily had swept through him, and though they were foreign, they felt almost a part of him.
Closing his eyes as well, he took the time to examine each and every one of them that crossed his path.
First, he felt a strong sense of confusion and inner conflict, before he felt her pick apart her own feelings, trying to analyze them the same way he was. Next came uncertainty, almost denial, then a small resignation, as if she had finally accepted something, before she finally burnt out every ounce of energy she possessed.
Opening his eyes, Youko peered at the door to his hut, seeing not a sight of sunrise, telling him as long as the last events felt; truly not a lot of time had passed. For this, he was glad.
He had no desire to remove Adina from her seemingly comfortable position, for fear of awakening her. That was not the only reason, however, and he knew it. Though something about what she was feeling seemed familiar in consideration to his own emotions, he firmly pushed it away, focusing instead of the kitsune in his arms.
She was getting slightly cold in the nippy air, but he too felt comfortable at the moment and didn't wish to put her down nor lie down with her. It might seem that he were taking advantage of her weakness, and in a way it would be as she would never allow him to while conscious.
Managing to grab a nearby blanket, he wrapped it around her and moved over slightly so that he was facing the door while leaning against the wall. Hearing no disturbances, or sensing any trouble with his men, he allowed himself some measure of peace by letting his chin rest on the top of her head and falling into a light sleep, holding what seemed to be an angel glowing from the shimmering silver beams of the moon.
OMG, I got it finished! And I updated chapter eight barely two weeks ago! I'm soooooooo proud of myself, you have no idea, and wow, was this one long, in total twelve pages! Talk about "holy crap", but it was way worth it. I just hope you think so too. R&R!
Yours Truly,
Adria of The Demon Sisters