Episode 42: The New, Hipper, MegaMan Jr. High

KI: Here at MegaMan Jr. High, we're committed to making the coolest show possible about pre teen robots in Jr. High. Which is why we're reformatting the show. First of all, I will no longer name myself after obscure things likes Killer Instinct and The Simpsons. I from now on will be known as EA Idol. So we present to you, the first episode of the new, improved, sell-out MegaMan Jr. High.

Opening theme:

Who let MegaMan out?
Jr. High! Jr. High!
Who let MegaMan out?
KI... err... EA... yeah
It's the funky fresh show from surfer city
It's a hip trendy show
Your faith in humanity is the fool I pity!

We enter upon MegaMan at home.

Light: MegaMan! If you don't set up the lightning rod in time for the storm you can't go to that concert tonight.

MegaMan: I don't want to, I could get seriously hurt.

Light: ANNGST'D! (he turns to the camera) Teenagers, always so full of hate, they think the whole world is against them. Entire world, join me in mocking them!

MegaMan: Dad, I have feelings.

Light: Enough with your melodramatic mumbo jumbo! It's not going to get me to let you see that concert!

MegaMan: What concert? It's 2:00AM, I just want to go to sleep!

Light: Enough back talk! When I was your age it occasionally snowed outside and hills existed!

MegaMan: What's that supposed to prove?

Light: Silence! Having rights is a privilege, no more rudeness! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to write into a parenting maqgzine to make fun of you behind your back!

MegaMan goes into his room.

MegaMan: This isn't fair. He doesn't respect my privacy at all.

Hidden microphone: That's not true!

MegaMan: There has to be something I can do.

Light: I hear it's amazing when the giant purple worm does a giant tuning with a salad fork. I need scissors! 61!

MegaMan: What's that supposed to mean?

Light: Typical. No matter how clearly you explain things to a teenager they miss the point.

MegaMan: I just want to go to sleep!

Light: I work hard every day to support you, and what do you contribute?

MegaMan: I have to go to school and do homework for 8 hours everyday!

Light: No excuses! And you're grounded for staying up so late!

Act break.

Act 2:

The next day MegaMan goes to school.

Roll: MegaMan, thank goodness you're here! I can't find my pencil!

Sad music starts playing.

MegaMan: I'll try to find the pencil, but I can't make any promises. I know it's hard, I lost a pencil once, but you have to face problems. It's like the story of the walrus and the octopus. The walrus looked for his pencil everyday, and the octopus never looked. But, one day, the octopus found a pencil, and gave it to the walrus. And it was the best arbor day ever.

A sign pops up saying WE ARE NOW SEAMLESSLY TRANSFERRING BACK TO COMEDY.

MegaMan: So where's Zero?

Roll: He looked at the new layout and simultaneously threw up and fainted.

Bass walks up to them.

Bass: MegaMan, you loser, you missed the concert last night!

MegaMan: WHAT CONCERT?

Bass: The newest, feshest band according to EA's People magazine from the 80s. Vanilla IceMan!

The show goes into a song again.

When life's got you so down,
you know you can slow down,
go where the music and the fun never end,
long as the music keeps playing,
you know what I'm saying,
here at the Roundhouse!

The song ends.

MegaMan: How exactly is referencing to old Nickelodeon shows mainstream?

Bass: It just is! And i challenge you to an extreme ElecMan weapon pause glitch contest for tickets to the next Vanilla IceMan concert!

MegaMan: We don't have time for that, we need to cram everything into one episode, no time for actual plots.

Bass: But we're staying with this format, right?

MegaMan: No. Just no.

Bass: Then what do we do, just go to class?

MegaMan: OH NOES! I forgot to study for our test today! I'll have to... CHEAT!

Roll: What's the test in?

MegaMan: Ethics.

Bass: Do I have anymore relevence to the plot?

MegaMan: No.

Bass: Then I'll leave. TO THE EXTREME!

Bass jumps through that wall that keeps getting destroyed and drinks a Mountain Dew.

MegaMan: I have to prepare for the test! This is a significant, long plot point!

One successful cheating and guilt induced confession later:

MegaMan: Well, school's out. Now what do we do?

Roll: Write poetry!

Of all life's pleasures,
one none can gauge,
is when someone messes up,
to yell N-GAGED!

MegaMan: This is boring. Can we just play video games?

EA: Only the ones approved by our hip, now, hardcore game correspondant.

MegaMan: It's Tommy Tallarico, isn't it? I'll just do something else.

An alarm goes off.

MegaMan: Oh no! I have to go fight! TO THE EXTREME!

The drama! The romance! The angst! The dachshunds! The numerous other things that aren't in this episode at all! Come back for more painful writing after the act break! But first this cool new commercial.

(an Ovaltine commercial plays)

Act 3:

MegaMan: I have to fight! For great justice!

Roll: But you could get hurt!

MegaMan: I'm tired of everyone telling me how dangerous fighting is! You, Dad, the light at the end of the tunnel...

Roll: Fine, but be careful. Fight MegaMan, fight! For everlasting peace!

MegaMan jumps on Rush, who is now a skateboard.

MegaMan: Time to go fight my arch enemy! THE
MAN!Man.

MegaMan skates to the disco.

THE MAN!Man: Bwahaha! I will destroy your hip, new music! I'm evil, I'm the establishment!

MegaMan: I won't let you win! I'll show you not to watch and listen to the exact same shows and music I do! You just do stupid, outdated things like playing SNES!

Lightning strikes MegaMan.

MegaMan: I'll stop you from being different then me!

The battle begins.

MegaMan: Super ultra turbo extreme beam! Attack!

MegaMan throws a Pokeball, and Suteb attacks.

THE MAN!Man: You can't stop me! I challenge you to a break dancing contest! Start the music!

Ice, Ice, Vanilla IceMan!
Ice, Ice, Vanilla IceMan!
We're the cool new show!
LOL cool, get it!
I'm IceMan and I said cool!
Nothing's cooler than puns!

MegaMan: Beat this!

MegaMan does a septuple spin.

THE MAN!Man: Oh no, I've been defeated! I'll be back, and I'll defeat your kids and your hip hop!

MegaMan: I won. TO THE EXTREME!

And so MegaMan wins another battle. TO THE EXTREME! Stay tuned for the next New, Hipper MegaMan Jr. High! TO THE/

Zero: NO! This has to end! Everyone will hate this horrible new layout!

TrollMan: I love it!

Tommy Tallarico: So do I!

Zero: NO! KI, please change it back.

EA: There is no KI Simpson, only I, EA Idol! And the show is staying just as it is! Nothing can change my mind! NOTHING!

Zero: How about/

EA: NOTHING!

Zero: let me talk/

EA: NEVER!

Zero: This is terrible, this horrible show I wish I never agreed to be on is doomed!

EA: Well, nothing will change it back! I'm leaving to skateboard moderately. TO THE EXTREME!

A white flash appears.

Zero: What a horrible insanity effect.

KI: I told you I could tell a scary story.

And so the nightmare is over. Stay tuned for the next, traditional, more old skool, l33t, MegaMan Jr. High!