Episode 47: And Now, a Word from our Sponsors
KI: At MegaMan Jr. High, we have high production costs. Licensing characters, hiring writers, and supervising continuity are just some of the funds I embezzle and use to buy games. And this money doesn't come out of thin air, like the scripts. We need commercials! But there's been a serious lack of them, and so we dedicate this episode entirely to commercials. Enjoy!
We see two cheeseburgers next to eachother.
Announcer: Can you guess the difference between these burgers?
Customer: They are clearly made by different fast food franchises?
Announcer: No! One is made fresh, and the other is frozen before being made.
Customer: I didn't know that.
Announcer: Well now that you do, won't you eat at the fresh place for burgers?
Customer: No.
Announcer: Why?
Customer: If I couldn't tell the difference, why would it affect my decision? Look at it logically.
Announcer:...
Our next commercial begins:
Kids: Can we buy these Mom?
The kids are holding up bags saying Junk Food!
Mom: I don't think so. They're not healthy.
Rabbit: Buy Nesquik! It's the nutritious drink!
Mom: What makes it nutritious?
Rabbit: It has a commercial saying so, just like every other snack! But don't be fooled, only I can be trusted!
Mom: Well, I see no motive for you lying about the nutrition of your product. Okay, I'll buy it!
Kids: YAY!
Next commercial:
A kid is in his room playing video games.
Announcer: Don't just sit there, go outside and play!
Kid: It's 2:00AM and there's a tornado outside!
Announcer: NO EXCUSES! It's not healthy to sit there not moving, unless you're reading or watching propaganda on TV!
Kid: That doesn't make any sense!
Announcer: GO OUTSIDE!
The kid goes outside and is bombarded with tonions thrown by the tornado.
Announcer: Remember kids, indoor people are EVIL! Let's just play!
Act break (what happens between acts in this episode is a mystery)
Act 2:
Next commercial:
KI: This is where we were going to parody those annoying McDonalds "I'm loving it!" commercials, but I have been unable to think up anything worse then rapping mooses, which were in the real commercials. I apologize.
Real next commercial:
A man is walking down the street on a hot day. We see steam coming from a vent. The man is sweating. He sees a super soaker lying on the ground. He smiles. He picks up the super soaker, puts it up right infront of his face, and pulls the trigger.
Flames come out and burn him.
Announcer: Yeah, it's kind of like that, drinking carbonated beverages to cool off.
We come to another commercial:
New square gum appears.
Karate Gum: Your sensei is so dumb, he switched to Subway for car insurance and had Geico for lunch!
Next commercial:
We see people at an office gathered around a water cooler.
Man: Wow, I'm still impressed by Johnson bringing an N-Gage to our last meeting!
Woman: He's incredible.
Johnson walks up to them.
Man: What cool new N-Gage game have you brought today?
Johnson: It's a port of The Flinstones: Dino Lost in Bedrock!
We see a clip of the game. A turtle is walking towards Fred. Fred tries to jump. 5 seconds of slow jump animation later the turtle walks into him, knocking him out.
Woman: Oh Johnson, N-Gage just keeps on giving.
Announcer: Nokia N-Gage! For the mature... oh who am I kidding? Things are terrible, we haven't sold an N-Gage in months, we'ved been reduced to ports of old DOS games KI played years ago! Please, someone, buy an N-Gage! They shut off the electricity at the office, and when we asked why they said "You bought an N-Gage, didn't you?"! Please, I could lose my job! This is the president of Nokia, begging someone to buy an N-Gage.
Act break.
Act 3:
We enter upon the next commercial.
A kid is watching TV.
Kid: Time to watch The Simpsons.
TV: Acess denied! You can't watch this PG show! You're only 15!
Announcer: Parental control. Kids aren't people, it's fun to taunt them! Nah nah, stupid kids!
10 years later.
Announcer: Why isn't anyone signing up for our cable service? We're missing the key 20s demographic! Why is this happening? Just give me a sign!
That kid who was in the commercial: You bought an N-Gage, didn't you?
Next commercial:
Rabbit: These kids are in line for the MegaMan Jr. High convention. And for some reason we can't comprehend, they all brought Trix to it! I'll disguise myself as KI and get some!
Rabbit walks up to them.
Rabbit: I'm the creator of MegaMan Jr. High, give me some Trix!
Kid: You're not KI!
Rabbit: Well, this is text based, how was I supposed to know what KI looked like?
Kid: Silly Rabbit, you should have disguised the name that appears before you talk! Oh, and Trix are for kids.
The Rabbit grabs the Trix and runs.
Rabbit: Finally, they're mine!
He eats some.
Rabbit: EWWWW! These are disgusting! I've wasted my life...
Our final commercial comes on.
KI: MegaMan Jr. High is approaching its 50th episode! To celebrate this exciting landmark, I'm writing 48th and 49th episodes to air before it! But here's a sneak peak at the 50th episode:
MegaMan: I'm so excited about our 50th episode! And those critics said we wouldn't last a day! It's been what, a week now? I haven't been keeping track.
KI: And with that clip that would never work in an actual episode, I end our commercial show. Stay tuned for the next, slightly lighter on plot, MegaMan Jr. High!