xx--

Me too…

Jack looked over at Samantha. She was already looking at him. The look they shared took them back… to when words weren't needed, to when they'd shared an understanding that had gone beyond anything that had gone before. They remembered, their eyes locked, and the memories elicited all the emotions they had experienced together...

Before the affair: flirting, daring, guessing, unsure.

During the affair: knowing, secretive, happy, desirous.

After the affair: regretful, thoughtful, sad, hopeful, longing.

He broke eye contact first, by putting the new picture of Emerson next to an older one already on the whiteboard. Then, avoiding Samantha's gaze, looked at the paperwork. He wasn't sure right now what he'd seen in those beautiful eyes. He was afraid to find out. Afraid of not finding out.

Forcing himself to focus, he cleared his throat, grabbed a pen, and started to tick off a list. "No cash withdrawals, nothing unusual on his home or cell phone calls, no one notices him gone from the office, nothing weird on his computer at home or at work so far as we can tell… I'm impressed; you found all this out by yourself, as well as interviewing Julie Emerson and his office colleagues?"

Samantha shook her head. "I'd like to say so, but we were all working on it until the mayoral case came up. Then I was on my own," she said, a little distractedly. I wonder…

Just then Rosa came into the office. "Margaret Emerson called. She had some information about life insurance policies for you," she said, handing Samantha a note. "Also, she found a receipt for a watch repair that her husband was supposed to pick up a few days ago. I've written the name and address down."

Samantha thanked her, and just as Rosa was about to leave, Jack stopped her.

"Could you please ask Mrs. Emerson to come in for an interview? I'd like to meet her."

"I'll do it now," Rosa said, exiting.

"You don't want to see her at her home?"

"No, it didn't raise any flags for you."

"Okay." Samantha scanned the piece of paper. "It seems that Emerson got $500k payment for his first wife's death, but has not taken anything out like that on the second Mrs. Emerson. His policy, however, is still current."

"So, what was his home like, anyway?" Jack asked.

Samantha sat back in her chair. "Quite normal. They moved there when they married in September 2002. He hasn't quite splashed out like some people do when they come into money."

"What's the wife like?"

"Quiet, tidy, part time librarian at Columbia, -almost a cliché. She's a reader. A huge range of titles and topics, books everywhere."

"Nothing wrong with that."

Just then the phone rang, it was Rosa. Margaret Emerson would meet them at 12, and then she apologized as she was needed to team up with Martin in the field.

Samantha shrugged. "Looks like we're on our own, they need her," she explained to Jack.

"So what's the game plan?" he enquired restlessly, itching to get out, aware of the hours that had already passed.

"You wanted to check the firm he works for, and they were going to get his recent work history for me. We can do that, and have a look at the jewelry shop with the watch repair; it's not too far from where he works uptown. Doesn't sound like much of a lead though," she added.

Jack spread out his hands. "Your decision. You're the boss."

Samantha swore she could see a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I like that idea," she said wryly. "Can't resist a chance to look at diamonds. Come on, let's go. Jewelry shop first, then his work."

They were again interrupted when Vivian strode into her office. "We're on our way, -there seems to be a media circus brewing," she said, taking her badge and gun out of her desk drawer, in preparation for the day.

"I don't envy you that…" Jack said, not bothering to hide the smirk on his face.

"Aw Jack, and here I thought we'd trade places for it…" She stopped by the door. "We were all hoping to take you out tonight to make up for the non-event last time, okay?"

Samantha bit the inside of her mouth to stop from laughing out loud. Martin, a non-event… got that right… She glanced at him hovering in the hallway, talking with Danny and Rosa, and wondered why it was so difficult working with him these days; unlike it had been with Jack. Martin, you really are a jerk.

Jack nodded, pleased. "Sounds good, but I won't hold my breath, just in case."

"We'll keep in touch," and Vivian left to meet the others. Danny, grinning, gave Jack a mock salute as he went past.

Amused, Jack returned the salute. "Good old Danny, he never changes does he?"

Smiling, Samantha said, "True, and he owes me $20."

They gathered some essentials and left the office.

Jack called the elevator while Samantha retrieved her jacket from the bullpen before joining him to wait. When it finally arrived and the doors opened, Jack resisted the urge to place his hand in the small of her back, to guide her in. He sure as hell wanted to.

xx--

They hit Broadway to go uptown. Samantha was glad of her sensible shoes, the fine weather and Jack's company.

Jack's mood was infectious and upbeat. He knew he hadn't smiled so much for a long time, and he knew a lot of that was due to the blonde by his side.

Samantha laughingly told him to stop looking around, like he'd never been to New York before. He told her he just wanted to overdose on the place, wistfully pointing out that it could be some time before he came back. She hoped it wouldn't be, and kept that thought to herself.

She asked, as their shoulders brushed against other for the tenth time, how he ended up in the Government Fraud department.

Jack sighed. "The exciting world of Domestic Security was a bit more physical than I thought. My knee wasn't up to it, especially early on chasing a suspect. They gave me a physical and decided a sentence to White Collar Crime division was punishment enough. The Government Fraud division is a lot less fulfilling than you'd think."

"Your knee's okay now?" she asked, inadvertently looking down at his leg. She remembered examining that naked knee, Jack had laughed and had told her to quit prodding it…she blinked away the sudden memory.

"I go for a walk at lunchtime," he explained. Anything to get me out of the office…

"And how is it in Government Fraud?"

He rolled his eyes. Dull, unexciting, draining. "I make do… Enough with the third degree, how's it been for you?" he asked, avoiding some tourists standing slack jawed on the sidewalk.

"How do you mean?" she asked, suddenly feeling defensive.

"Work."

"I make do, too. Vivian's been doing a good job."

Jack scratched his ear. "That's great…" He shouldn't ask it, but he was dying to know. "You've been… seeing anyone?" Casual, but not casual enough.

She pretended to be distracted by a shop window. "I was, but it's over now. It was nothing." There, she just summed up all that time with Martin. Nothing. I wonder if he'll want to know who.

Jack nodded, not commenting and looking away to hide a small lop-sided grin that appeared on his face. Happy she had found someone; selfishly happy she wasn't with anyone now. Probably that cop Keller again.

Samantha indicated uptown. "The shop's just further along."

Halfway down the block Jack wondered if he knew where they were going. By the time they were ten feet away he groaned silently. Dawson's, the Jewellers. Of all the jewelry shops in the world…

They buzzed to be let in.

Samantha introduced themselves to the manager and explained the purpose of their visit. The manager said she was happy to help, and nodded at Jack, as if in recognition. Jack nodded back.

While the manager searched for the repair packet, Jack checked out the Swiss watches, wondering if he was due a new one or not. He liked his watches; it was a small, guilty pleasure.

A sales assistant approached him just as he was comparing his own watch to the ones on display. "I'm bad with names, but I can usually manage with faces and watches," he said to Jack.

Jack looked up at the young man across the counter, and, glancing at the name badge to refresh his memory, said, "Nice to be recognized Keith; I haven't been here for awhile."

Keith looked thoughtful. "Omega, chronograph and possibly chronometer, right? I don't remember you being a quartz man."

Jack nodded. "Yes, but I think this one's going to need a service soon. I live in Chicago now; can you recommend somewhere to take it? Also, somewhere they also do ring re-sizing."

"I'll find something for you," and Keith set off.

Just then Samantha came over with Emerson's watch. "Ladies, antique, mechanical movement, solid casing in 9 karat English gold, no engraving, cord style bracelet," she rattled off from her notes, handing the watch to Jack. "It needed a thorough clean and service. They rang Emerson late last week to say it was ready. He said he'd pick it up some time this week."

Jack turned it over in his hands, inspecting it. "Looks like late 20s early 30s. Probably his grandmother's or something. Take a pixt photo on your phone and we'll see if his wife recognizes it."

As Samantha was doing so, Keith returned and handed Jack a card with writing on it. "These are some good places to go to." He noticed what Samantha was doing. "Nice little watch that, just needed some care and attention."

Samantha looked at him. "Do you remember the man who brought it in?"

"Not really. He's not one of our regulars, unlike this gentleman with you," he said, indicating Jack with a nod of his head and a smile, "who likes to check out the watches from time to time, and doesn't buy much jewellery." Keith said it like it was a bad thing, blatantly staring at Jack with an arched eyebrow.

Samantha put her phone away and shot Jack an amused look. He was scratching his ear again.

"I wouldn't say that…"

She gave Keith back the watch. They thanked him, and left.

Outside, Jack said, "I've only ever bought one piece of jewellery there." He looked meaningfully at her gold chain, peeking above her white blouse.

Her hand came up to finger the chain, her lips forming a silent O, as she glanced back to the shop.

"You obviously didn't remember the name of the store on the box…" he threw at her lightly, smirking as he had decided to make her feel as uncomfortable as he felt.

xx--

Christmas Eve 2001

She loved it. A delicate chain in 18 karat yellow gold. He'd covertly given it to her in his office when he was sure everyone else was preoccupied.

"Merry Christmas, Sam." His eyes said everything he could not say at work.

He'd agonized for ages. A ring was definitely out of the question. Earrings, -hoops, huggies, studs, drops, it was a nightmare. Bracelets and bangles, -they might get in the way somehow. A watch, -he was fussy enough for himself so he didn't dare hazard a guess for her. A neck chain, -discreet, something with interesting links, something that wouldn't draw too much attention. No pendant, just elegant and simple. He was pleased with his decision.

And so was Samantha. She wasn't used to gifts of jewelry, certainly not tasteful ones, anyway. She'd settled on cufflinks for him, -again, going for discretion and she was hoping to give them to him at her apartment later on, during their own private party.

"I'll see you soon," she quietly confirmed, knowing his family responsibilities, and expecting him anyway.

He nodded. "I'll finish up here; the party's winding down, so maybe 6ish."

She smiled, her eyes full of longing for him. "I'll see you then…" and she discreetly pocketed the flat box before leaving.

He watched her go, knowing this would have to end.

He would have to end it very soon.

But not right now.

It was nearly 5 months of secrets that he could no longer justify or keep. He didn't want to, but he had to. If not for Maria, then definitely for his daughters' sake.

He rubbed his eyes as he leant against the edge of his desk. Why did everything come at a cost? What price was enough? He'd forgotten what it was like to truly love someone the way he loved Samantha, and he loved her enough to let her go, before his guilt ate him up inside completely.

Once, as they'd lain on her bed, she'd asked him what they were doing. He had eventually replied that he didn't know. He should have said something else: This is us, being in love, and it's wrong and it's wonderful, and it just is, and I wish it would never end.

But he'd never said those words to her, never would now.

He thought yet again about coming clean with Maria. He'd be damned one way or another. Yet another conversation to dread. Again he wondered if she suspected anything.

Not knowing what to do in his office, and with nothing to sign off, he decided to go back to the bullpen to enjoy some festive spirit before quietly slipping out. He could see Samantha gathering her things, saying her goodbyes. She was leaving the party early so she could get herself and her apartment ready. For him.

He hoped that he could manage to finish it with Sam and still work together amicably. Strangely he hadn't ever considered it before. He shook his head, and sighed. It would all have to wait.

Now was not the time.

xx--

After the jeweler's, they went crosstown to Emerson's accounting firm.

Samantha was feeling pleased that Jack hadn't bought her the chain all those years ago as a little something tacked on as he shopped for Maria. Not that she hadn't wondered…

Jack was pleased that she was still wearing the chain, like she used to, maybe as a reminder to him of their time together.

His phone rang. Frowning, he took it out. "If this is work…" he muttered, but flipping it open, he saw Maria's i.d. "Maria, morning, how's it going…?"

Samantha moved a little apart from him as he walked further on listening to his wife, then he suddenly stopped and sidestepped up against a shop. She stayed where she was, again pretending to be interested in a window display, but not quite ignoring his conversation.

"…No, I should be back in a day or two… I'm just mid-town with Danny, following some leads..." He glanced over at Samantha as he said the lie. She caught his eye and looked away reproachfully, not wanting to be part of it. "…No, I don't want to see them… For Christ's sake, I'm too busy… Just cancel, okay? This isn't a damn holiday…Why the hell would you think that?... Look…" he said, exasperatedly. "Look, I'll talk to you this evening when I call the girls…Bye."

He pocketed the phone, and then rubbed his hand through his hair, annoyed, as he went to join Samantha. "Maria decided I should go out for dinner tonight with some family friends," he explained. Why the hell did I just tell her that?

"Hey, you don't have to tell me anything, really," Samantha said, flatly.

He exhaled deeply. "Probably not." And they resumed walking, the little world they had been creating rudely interrupted.

He felt like hurling his phone onto the road. He was certain Maria was trying to rein him in, and her friends were supposed to keep an eye on him. As if Jack wanted to see them anyway. He couldn't think of anyone he wanted to catch up with while he was in N.Y., at least no-one outside the office now that his father was firmly ensconced in a home in Chicago.

The lie had been necessary. And the scary thing was, again so easy. You are a coward, Jack Malone, he remonstrated himself

Samantha didn't really know what to think. But he was here, with her, right now, and Maria was over 800 miles away. That small fact gave her some comfort, somehow.

xx--