Episode 65: ProtoMan's Last Stand
It was another day at ProtoMan Ant Hill.
ProtoMan: I can't believe all I get is an ant hill! Atleast I run something…
The ant hill blows up.
KI: Stupid ants!
ProtoMan: This is an outrage! I'm supposed to be a main character, and instead I'm an occasional guest star!
KI: We've been through this. There is no logic behind who I focus on. Now stop complaining!
ProtoMan: This makes me want to… want to….
KI: Trail off?
ProtoMan: I must seize control of this show!
KI: Didn't you try that already?
ProtoMan: Yes….
KI: Well, I never pass up an opportunity to re-use a plot, go ahead.
And so ProtoMan tries to think of a plan to conquer the show. Meanwhile at MegaMan Jr. High:
ElecMan: Class, we have another conveniently timed assembly to go to.
The class files into Sigma's office.
Sigma: School, as you know, morale is very important here.
Zero: But you constantly/
Sigma: QUIET! Nothing you say matters, you insignificant worm! Ahem, and so we're having a Principal For a Day contest!
ProtoMan: If I was principal for a day, I could change the rules so I was permanently principal, and I'd run this school!
Wily: That never works.
Wily and his genie who Wily wished for infinite wishes from leave.
Sigma: So everyone enter your name into our raffle!
Everyone enters their name.
ProtoMan: I need to think of a way to rig this contest so I win! Hmmm… what have I learned from my previous attempt to rule this show?
Initiate flashback:
KI: If you don't understand clichés, you'll never win! On shows like this, clichés rule everything! Like that one where saying "I have no chance of winning, I'll lose the contest for sure!" guarantees you can win anything, or where flashbacks always give you information ridiculously relevant to your currect situation.
End flash back:
ProtoMan: Well, that was no help.
Sigma draws a name from Mysterio's head.
Sigma: ProtoMan wins!
ProtoMan: I guess there are benefits to going to a school with only six students.
Act break.
Act 2:
Sigma: And so the winner is ProtoMan! Tommorrow, he'll be principal!
MegaMan: Oh no, an enemy of mine will control the school for a day!
ProtoMan: YES! I have the power! I'll become principal and make this school mine. MINE!
KI: What a stupid goal.
KI leaves in a Metal Gear to kill another ant.
Sigma: Okay, the assembly's over, everyone can go home.
ElecMan: Sigma, this may have something to do with our low test scores.
Sigma: I think the fact that we never give tests at all plays a bigger role.
The next day:
Sigma: Okay ProtoMan, your reign as principal starts now! But it isn't all fun and oppressing students, you also have to oppress teachers.
ProtoMan: Finally, I am in control! Being principal of a middle school makes controlling this entire dimension seem meaningless!
ProtoMan makes the morning announcements.
ProtoMan: Hello school, the cliché club will not be meeting today, the organizer was hit on the head by an anvil. The bake sale is still scheduled, and to encourage you to buy from it, we're putting a tax on not buying from it. That said, PREPARE FOR A NEW ERA! Principal ProtoMan will rule this school with an iron fist!
Sigma: Ooh, I'm so impressed, a robot with an iron fist….
ProtoMan: I am in control! Nothing can stop me! NOTHING!
Bill Cosby runs into the school.
Bill: Hey hey hey! The cast of Fatherhood challenges you to a boat race!
The whole school leaves.
ProtoMan: WHAT? But I'm principal! Oh well, I just have to change the contest to Principal for All Eternity and I'll start my reign tomorrow.
The next day:
ProtoMan: Okay, now to continue my innaguration evil rant/
Bass: I bet you can't beat me at the eating contest, MegaMan!
Everyone leaves. The next day:
ProtoMan: Ahem, to get on with my speech/
ElecMan: Time for continuing a chain of jokes break!
The school leaves for a trip to LUE.
The next day:
ProtoMan: LISTEN UP! I AM IN CHARGE, AND YOU AREN'T STOPPING ME FROM BRAGGING ABOUT IT! Ahem, school/
Act break.
Act 3:
ProtoMan: ARRRGGHH! Okay, I mean it this time, you are staying in school and toiling under me! I have locked all the doors, there is no way out!
Tommy Tallarico, Bubsy, EA Idol, and Liquid Snake burst in and the entire day is consumed by a battle with them.
The next day:
ProtoMan: Why is this happening? I'm not getting to be a corrupt tyrant, is there no justice in the world? I don't care anymore, just go about your school day.
Nothing happens.
ProtoMan: Reverse psychology worked!
Rock Monster: It's Saturday.
ProtoMan: ARRRGGGHHH! That's it, come Monday, things are going to be different!
Monday:
MegaMan: Hey, anyone want to go fishing/
ProtoMan: You're not going anywhere! As principal, I demand your loyalty and resentment! And I'll get it the only way I know how!
ProtoMan attacks.
ProtoMan: It is time to be defeated MegaMan!
ProtoMan blasts MegaMan.
MegaMan: I really don't see how this ties into what you said/
ProtoMan blasts MegaMan again.
MegaMan: I'm done for!
Out of nowhere, a blast comes.
Real ProtoMan: I finally found you, impostor!
ProtoMan: No! How'd you escape!
The real ProtoMan blasts the impostor. He turns out to be DarkMan.
DarkMan: My secret!
ProtoMan: This robot master was impersonating me all along! The real ProtoMan is good!
MegaMan: I'm so happy to finally meet my real brother.
Zero: I'm so happy the show is finally acknowledging the ending of MegaMan 5.
ProtoMan: That tyrant is gone, I'm content to be completely ignored!
And so the lingering discontentment of ProtoMan is gone, and the real one has revealed himself. Stay tuned for the next/
ProtoMan: YOU FELL FOR IT!
ProtoMan attacks MegaMan.
ProtoMan: I'm pure evil! How naïve can you be, to think this show would follow the real MegaMan story?
MegaMan: I'm doomed!
Sigma: ProtoMan, detention!
ProtoMan: What?
Sigma: No fighting unless it is to destroy MegaMan!
ProtoMan: But it was/
Sigma: No excuses! Now that DarkMan is gone, I'm principal again!
And so everything returns to normal, and ProtoMan has his last/first stand. Stay tuned for the next MegaMan Jr. High!