Episode 69: The Maddenz
It was another day at MegaMan Jr. High.
ElecMan: Class, this is a monumentous occasion! We're going to have a very important assembly!
Cut to the class at an assembly:
Sigma: The time has come. Sometimes in life, there are things you just can't prepare for, things so earth shattering they shatter the earth! School, we are…. GOING TO USE THE FOOTBALL FIELD ATLAST!
Cut to the school assembled at a forest:
Sigma: D'oh! Guess we shouldn't have waited so long to actually use it…
One huge lawn mowing later:
Sigma: It is my pleasure to announce two new additions to our school! The first is group of random students!
The bleachers are filled with hundreds of other students.
MegaMan: The school's so crowded now.
Sigma: And our next addition, this school now has… a football team!
MegaMan: Wow, what a suprising use for a football field!
Sigma: I introduce you to our school team, the Maddenz! They will be the pride of our school! Football game after football game, each more exciting then the one before! Now get back to class!
Cut to the students back at school:
Roll: I can't believe it, we're practically in a normal school now!
MegaMan shoots a giant blast at a fly.
MegaMan: I know!
The group goes into their class.
MegaMan: Hi, I'm MegaMan!
Student: What do you do?
MegaMan: I saved the world!
Student: How many times?
MegaMan: Well, 69 episodes…. Maybe 8 or 9.
Student: REALLY?
MegaMan: Uh-huh.
Student: You saved the world that many times?
MegaMan: Yes.
Student: You just keep saving the world?
MegaMan: Pretty heroic, huh?
Student: So many times. Well you know what that means/
MegaMan: I'm a hero?
Student: REHASH!
Act break:
Act 2:
MegaMan: Wha…. What?
Student: You're nothing but a REHASH! You save our lives once, and then just keep doing it? How about some originality?
MegaMan: You're clearly insane. I'm sure you're the only person who thinks something so ridiculous.
MegaMan turns to another student.
MegaMan: Hi/
Student 2: You've said that before! Stop rehashing your greetings!
MegaMan: But/
Student 3: You obnoxious rehash, Capcom should be ashamed of you!
MegaMan: I saved the/
Student: Stop riding accomplishments forever! It's the least you can do in return for saving all of us!
MegaMan: AAAHHHH!
MegaMan runs out of the classroom.
ElecMan: Luckily for MegaMan, there were only 2 seconds left, so he only gets 3 weeks detention.
Cut to MegaMan later with his friends.
MegaMan: Why are they calling me a rehash?
Some other students walk by.
Student A: Did you hear? The Maddenz got new uniforms!
Student B: They're so daring and innovative!
MegaMan: Is the whole school crazy?
Zero: Short answer yes, long answer yeeeeeesssssssssss!
Roll: It's okay MegaMan, we know you're not a rehash!
MegaMan: Thanks, but I need to be alone.
We see MegaMan doing one of those parodies I don't know the origin of where he's walking towards the screen and we see signs showing where he's been. They are:
We hate platformers club.
Sports games are special.
We're unfair, and we don't care!
Question us and you're a fanboy!
GameInformer.
MegaMan: If only there were people who knew how I felt…. But all I see ahead of me is the Rehash Accused Support Group. Wait, that's it!
Cut to MegaMan hosting the MegaMan Jr. High Unfair Rehash Accusation Support group.
MegaMan: We're all here because people call us rehashes while prasing yearly sports. Let's introduce ourselves.
Mario: My name is Mario. They call me a rehash because I'm in a lot of games. They don't play the same! Just because I'm in it, a baseball game is a rehash of an RPG?
Sonic: My name is Sonic. People keep alternating between calling me unoriginal and saying I should stick to me old stuff.
Jak: My name is Jak. I'm here because… um…. Well, EGM's E3 preview called me a rehash. I think KI just wanted more characters here.
Tony Hawk: My name is Tony Hawk, and I'm here because I feel much more comfortable here in a middle school then at those celebrity Rehash Accusations support groups.
Kirby: My name is Kirby, and like Jak, I'm mainly here because KI wanted more characters. Tommy Tallarico has probably called me a rehash at some point.
MegaMan: This isn't fair! They all love the sports players while heroes and… alternative sports players like us get called rehashes!
Mario: If only we could make them like us.
Someone runs into the room.
Person: Tony Hawk, can you find my house keys?
Tony: Sure!
Tony skateboards out of the room. He trips and falls down several stories headfirst onto hard concrete. He gets up and continues.
MegaMan: That's it! We'll challenge the Maddens to a football game!
Kirby: That didn't make any sense.
Act break.
Act 3:
MegaMan: It is time!
The RASG marches to Sigma's office.
Sigma: You rehashes just had to enter through the door again, didn't you?
MegaMan: We demand to play a football game against the Maddenz!
Sigma: Are you insane? They're real heroes, they just beat the ESPNs and 989ers!
MegaMan: We demand a chance to prove ourselves.
Sigma: Well, you do need that, playing football is much more important then saving the world. Fine, you can have your game, but if you lose, MegaMan is expelled!
MegaMan: Hypocrite.
Jak: Are you sure we can win? We may have a huge array of super powers, but they're the cool kids!
MegaMan: We'll just have to do our best.
The next day:
Sigma: Today, we come to the main event! On one side, the pride of our school, the Maddenz, whose helmets are a little shinier today.
The crowd cheers.
Sigma: And on the other side, a bunch of rehashes.
Crowd: BOOOOO!
MoleMan: BOO-URNS!
Sigma: And now, for the kick off!
Madden player #4 kicks the ball.
MegaMan: This is it!
Tony: I'm ready!
Tony starts a combo and soon leaves the stadium.
MegaMan: Go team!
It's the 4th quarter. Somehow, despite MegaMan's team being made of super heroes, the Maddens are ahead by 6 points. There's time for one more play.
MegaMan: This is our last chance! If we lose now, we'll never have these mindless background character's respect!
The play starts.
MegaMan: Hike!
MegaMan passes the ball to Sonic. Sonic runs ahead. Kirby and Jak are blocking. Sonic throws the ball to Mario, if he catches it they'll win!
Mario doesn't catch it.
Mario: If only they'd put a little more effort into my hand animation.
Sigma: And time is/
Tony lands in the endzone. He has pulled off a 3 million point combo (which is actually ridiculously small for one that lasted an entire football game).
Sigma: Do skateboard tricks count in football games?
KI: What kind of stupid question is that, of course they do!
Sigma: MegaMan's team wins!
Student : They won again?
Student : What a rehash!
Student &: Hey, the Maddenz are using a new deodorant!
The crowd leaves.
MegaMan: Well, the lesson here is, don't leave a football field untended for 63 episodes.
And so MegaMan accepts the ridiculous accusations. Stay tuned for the next MegaMan Jr. High!