Episode 70: The Final Exam
It was another day at MegaMan Jr. High.
ElecMan: Class, as you know, school is almost over.
MegaMan: This is a school?
ElecMan: And soon you, by which I mean MegaMan, must take the final exam.
MegaMan: What is it?
ElecMan: Oh you'll see…..
The next day:
Sigma: Okay MegaMan, time for your final test!
MegaMan: I don't know what it is, how was I supposed to study?
Sigma: Studying is just another word for preparing!
MegaMan:…..So?
Sigma: Just get in the room!
Sigma throws MegaMan into a large room.
MegaMan: This is weird… there are eight capsules surrounding me. I'm probably supposed to write a report on them.
Sigma: You go in them you idiot! Haven't you ever gotten near the end of a MegaMan game?
MegaMan: What?
Sigma: Never mind. Just go inside them and face your past foes!
And so MegaMan enters the first capsule.
MegaMan: I wonder who I'll face.
MegaMan emerges in a large room.
Ranger: So we meet again MegaMan!
MegaMan: Who are you?
Ranger: GRR! I was the first enemy you defeated!
MegaMan: CoherentPlotMan?
Ranger: ARGH! That's it! I'm going to give you the most dangerous safety lesson ever! Ahem,
Safety's important, Safety is fun!
Without safety life there'd be none!
If we weren't safe then what would we BE?
So I'll tell you why/
MegaMan shoots Ranger in the head just like last time.
Ranger: You thought your high level energy attack could injure me, but I'm wearing a BIKE HELMET! I'm invinc/
MegaMan shoots Ranger in the stomach.
Ranger: Woe is me.
Ranger falls over on his back. The workers finally escape.
Lenny: We've been stuck in there since the first episode!
MegaMan: Well now you're free!
MegaMan is transported back to the capsule room.
MegaMan: One down!
He enters another capsule. Cut to the workers:
Lenny: How are we supposed to get out of here?
Cut to MegaMan.
MegaMan: What a ripoff, I didn't get a large health powerup!
Bubsy: Even that wouldn't help you! I'm ready to get my revenge on you, again!
MegaMan: Who are you?
Bubsy: Just read these!
MegaMan reads all the previous episode scripts.
MegaMan: Okay Bubsy, let's finish this!
Voice: Select battle arena.
Bubsy: How about…. Aquatic!
The room fills with water.
Bubsy: I'm such a stupid/
MegaMan is transported out while Bubsy gets wet.
MegaMan: Two down!
But can MegaMan overcome the rest of the capsules?
Act break.
Act 2:
MegaMan: Okay, just six left. I've completed…… I wish we had some actual classes here.
MegaMan enters another capsule. He emerges.
Voice: Tremble with terror! The most powerful being in the world, master of pain, is about to destroy you! Enter the door infront of you, and you will be in the worst agony imaginable!
MegaMan: It can't be that bad, this is a kid's show.
MegaMan enters the door.
Lier X Aggerate: Curse you! Fine, you win…..
MegaMan is warped back to the capsule room.
MegaMan: Time to enter another one.
MegaMan enters a capsule.
MegaMan: Now where am I?
A giant machine is towering over him.
Metal Gear: RAAWWWWRRRRR!
Liquid Snake: It is time for my revenge MegaMan! You were always accusing me of everything, and my sister, Ceil, doesn't get enough screen time!
MegaMan: I'm sure we can talk this out.
Liquid: NO! I will now destroy you/
Mario appears.
Mario: It was you who kidnapped Peach and left a note signed by Bowser, wasn't it!
Liquid: WHAT?
Mario: Don't play dumb!
Mario attacks Liquid. Their fight moves them away.
Metal Gear: I say, I always thought this fighting was a bit barbaric. What say you just count this as a victory and leave, old chap?
MegaMan is teleported back.
MegaMan: Halfway there!
MegaMan enters the next capsule.
Captain Planet: Stop, polluter!
MegaMan: I'm not a polluter! I'm made out of recycled whale teeth!
Captain Planet: No excuses! I'll destroy you, and all the other evil robots!
MegaMan: If only I had some garbage….
N-Guy appears.
N-Guy: I got evicted from my capsule. Can I borrow some money?
MegaMan: That's it!
MegaMan throws an N-Gage at Captain Planet.
Captain Planet: NO! I'm melting…..
N-Guy takes his wallet and leaves. MegaMan is transported out. There are only three capsules left. Can he triumph?
Act break.
Act 3:
MegaMan: Okay, time for another capsule!
MegaMan enters one.
N-Guy: You have entered my capsule! I have only one thing to say to you… buy an N-Gage! Please please please!
MegaMan: No.
N-Guy: Bushnell was right, I'm not competent enough to be evil on my own….
MegaMan exits the capsule.
MegaMan: Only two left!
MegaMan enters a capsule.
MegaMan: Oh no… not…
Tommy Tallarico: Well if it isn't FARTMan!
Peggy Hill: Let's annoy him to death, my love! BOOYAH!
MegaMan: AAAHHHH!
Tommy Tallarico: I'll be reviewing MegaMan X8. Now, I've never played it, but it's such a rehash of previous MegaMan games, which I also never played. The graphics are horrible! Why don't the robots have blood? The story…. Well, I refuse to read text, and I haven't played the game anyway, but it was probably horrible. And what kind of name is "X"? That's not a name, that's a…. help me out here Peggy.
Peggy: Letter.
Tommy: That's right! Overall, I give this game a 2/10, since it wasn't made by Nintendo. By which I mean I would have given it a 2/11 if it was made by Nintendo.
MegaMan: AAAHHH! I have to get out of here! I need to neutralize them….
Dale Gribble bursts in, holding an issue of Famitsu.
Dale: I knew our schools kept capsules like this hidden!
Peggy: A good character!
Tommy: Competent reviews!
Both: RUN!
MegaMan and Dale are transported back.
Dale: My work here is done.
He goes to meet Bender at the Deus Ex Machina Cameo Characters Lounge.
MegaMan: Only one left!
MegaMan enters the last capsule. He emerges.
MegaMan: Where am I?
ET Rocket: We've got him!
KI2: Finally!
EA Idol: MegaMan is ours!
MegaMan: The eviler KI clones!
EA: Long have we waited, hoping for a chance for revenge. Then we decided to actually make an effort and sneak into one of these capsules.
ET: We'll capture you, and use you in our own shows!
KI2: Yes, your soul is ours!
MegaMan: How will I get out of this one?
EA: There is no way out!
MegaMan: Then I'll have to fight!
MegaMan shoots a charged up shot. It misses EA and hits the wall. The wall has a hole in it.
MegaMan: All this time I was….
Sigma: Long distance capsult teleportations are expensive! We've just been rotating different villains into the broom closet.
ET: A lamp!
KI2: Natural light is our weakness!
EA: Curse our susceptibility to convenient wrap ups!
The clones are vaporized.
Sigma: Well, I guess you passed. Now go home! I'd give you detention, but school's almost over.
And so MegaMan passes his final exam. Stay tuned for the next MegaMan Jr. High!