Episode 71: X Marks The End Part 1
It was another day at MegaMan Jr. High. That's the last time you'll hear that, get sentimental! The students were at an assembly.
Sigma: School, the school year is almost over! Now, we never had any actual classes, we're not licensed by the government, and only one student took a final exam, but since it's such a colossal show ending cliché we'll be having graduation in a few days!
MegaMan: I'm going to miss this horrible place.
Roll: It's not like we'll be gone forever, there's school next year.
Zero: There was barely school this year.
The students leave. Cut to the teacher's having a secret meeting in the secret meeting room (the auditorium).
Sigma: Staff, time is almost up! We only have a few more days before school ends to destroy him!
Wily: And we need to accomplish it before school ends, what are the odds of me running into my next-door neighbor again?
Sigma: We'll attack at the graduation. It would make more sense to attack him right away since we'd have another chance if we failed, but it wouldn't be as dramatic.
Wily: And this time, it's climactic!
Meanwhile, MegaMan has gone home.
MegaMan: Hi Dad. Graduation is Friday, can you come?
Light: Well, I guess I owe it to you for watching Three's Company instead of being there when you were born.
MegaMan: But I'm a robot, you had to be there to create me.
Light: I'll be honest with you. I can't remember when or why I created you. But I have something that will make it up to you!
MegaMan: Rare metals?
Light: Even better! You see, you're an inferior model. Outdated, pointless. You are incapable of doing whatever it is I designed you to do.
MegaMan: I feel better already!
Light: And so, I've decided to make an… upgrade.
MegaMan: Can I run Doom 3?
Light: No! You're not 17 yet! This upgrade is…. Different.
MegaMan: As usual, the title already revealed what the plot point was.
Light: Oh, okay, I'll get on with it. MegaMan, let me introduce you to….. X.
Act break.
Act 2:
Note to those of you who are going to point out that X isn't MegaMan: PLEASE don't tell me you're going to complain about an inaccuracy in MMJH!
Light: MegaMan, when I've finished upgrading you, you'll be MegaMan X, or ….. X. for short. This upgrade will allow you to think for yourself!
MegaMan: How sould I feel about that?
Light: It will also make you more powerful. You'll be able to cause incredible destruction! This should help you in your quest for peace.
MegaMan: How long before the upgrade is ready?
Light: I planned it as a graduation present. But I never expected the show to last this long, so it should be ready by the end of this act.
Meanwhile:
Sigma: Okay, we need to act now Wily, Rock Monster, CutMan, GutsMan, BombMan, ElecMan, IceMan, FireMan, MetalMan, FlashMan, CrashMan, WoodMan, HeatMan, AirMan, BubbleMan, QuickMan, NeedleMan, SnakeMan, ShadowMan, MagnetMan, HardMan, TopMan, SparkMan, GeminiMan, PharaohMan, DiveMan, ToadMan, BrightMan, DustMan, RingMan, SkullMan, DrillMan, GyroMan, CrystalMan, GravityMan, WaveMan, StarMan, NapalmMan, StoneMan, ChargeMan, CentaurMan, PlantMan, BlizzardMan, FlameMan, KnightMan, YamatoMan, TomahawkMan, WindMan, BurstMan, CloudMan, SpringMan, ShadeMan, TurboMan, SlashMan, JunkMan, FreezeMan, FrostMan, TenguMan, GrenadeMan, ClownMan, SwordMan, SearchMan, AstroMan, AquaMan, ColdMan, MagicMan, GroundMan, PirateMan, DynamoMan, BurnerMan…
Wily: Well, that was an unimaginative way to get every boss from the original MegaMans into the series.
Sigma: ….Chill Penguin, Storm Eagle/
Wily: GET TO THE POINT!
Sigma: As I was saying, we need to formulate a plan for destroying MegaMan! Against all odds, our chaotic, random plans haven't come together!
QuickMan: Weren't lots of us destroyed?
Wily: Well, we are able to make copies at the end of every game, but that can't be the real reason since it makes sense.
Sigma: We must formulate a strategy! If we're in perfect unison, the dozens of us can take down one kid! MegaMan won't know what (looks at censor note) sent him into the Shadow Realm!
The scene fades away.
Wily: You didn't give a strategy.
The scene continues to fade and Wily is docked pay.
The next day:
MegaMan: Guess what, I'm going to be upgraded into MegaMan X!
Rock Monster: I really don't care.
MegaMan tells his friends.
Roll: This is unbelievable!
Zero: A real reploid!... THEY GOT TO ME!
MegaMan: I can't wait. I'll have new powers and the ability to think what KI wants me to think, instead of what KI wanted Light to want me to think!
ElecMan: Okay class, settle down. I need you to fill out this survey. Really, it means nothing.
MegaMan looks at the survey:
If you were attacked by your teachers at a graduation ceremony, how surprised would you be?
Do you have any weakness that would give you a disadvantage in combat?
Are you undergoing any radical modifications your enemies would benefit from being warned about?
What's a battle?
MegaMan fills out his survey.
ElecMan: Okay then.
Later:
ElecMan: I got the survey results from MegaMan! We'll have calculated their meaning in 6-8 weeks.
Sigma: Excellent.
Act break.
Act 3:
It's the night before graduation.
Light: MegaMan, the X upgrade is ready. Sorry for the couple lines delay.
MegaMan steps into the capsule.
Light: This is the most important moment of my life. My masterwork. I wouldn't miss this for anything.
TV: Coming up next: Nanny 911!
Light: I said I wouldn't miss it for anything!
MegaMan: Hmmmm….. anti-jokes…….
Light: Prepare for the dawning of a new age! A glorious new era that will only last for the rest of this act and the next episode. BECOME X!
Light pulls the switch. The capsule is filled with energy.
MegaMan: Is this going to hurt?
Light: Only a little.
MegaMan: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
The energy shoots everywhere.
Light: That stings slightly.
MegaMan: (upon hearing the joke) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
The capsule is complete.
Light: MegaMan, how do you feel?
MegaMan: I…. feel…. Power…. Surging into me!
MegaMan is engulfed in light. He comes out of his transformation.
MegaMan X: Wow! I've got an X infront of my name!
Light: You are the first reploid! I know I'll win the science fair this year!
MegaMan X: This is great! I'm going to sleep now.
Light: Wait. You need 30 years of testing to make sure you won't harm humans.
MegaMan: But graduation is tomorrow!
Light: You're right, I need to get my priorities in order. Of course we can risk humanity so you can go to graduation!
The next day:
Sigma: We are gathered here today to celebrate the graduation of this year's Jr. High. We've had our ups and downs, but I think that at the very least, this would be worth reading for free online. And now, a speech from our valevictorian:
Inanimate Carbon Rod: What is graduation?...
Audience:….
Rod:……
Rod leaves.
Sigma: What a speech! And now, we hand out the diplomas. We were going to go in alphabetical order, but Zero threatened to sue. So to start: MegaMan. Please come up to the giant red target to take your diploma.
MegaMan stands on the giant red target.
Sigma: Our stage floor was provided by Target. Ahem, NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BE DESTROYED MEGAMAN!
To be continued.