Newsflash: I don't own any X-Men characters. A lot of you have pointed out that I forgot to show how Bobby and Jubilee broke up in Evolution XMJ. Here's a fun little fic to rectify the situation. Okay you got me. It's just an excuse for a little character torture and show how cute Jamie is. Like that's a bad thing….
MNN News: The Big Breakup
"Okay what the hell is this?" Logan looked at the TV screen. "What is going on in this lunatic asylum now?"
On screen was Jamie in a suit and tie. "Welcome to the Multiple News Network! We report any news any time, because let's face it, we're bored and have nothing better to do."
"I believe young Jamie has discovered a way to hack into our cable system," Hank sighed as he watched the television with Logan in the living room.
"That kid needs way too much attention if you ask me," Logan grumbled.
"The big news is the breakup of Bobby 'Iceman' Drake and Jubilee," Jamie reported. "It's got everybody talking!"
"What? They broke up? This is the first I've heard of it!" Logan said.
"The kids have been talking about it all week," Hank looked at him. "Jubilee has been complaining about him non stop through every class! Didn't you notice?"
"To be honest I've been kind of zoning her out when she talks to me lately," Logan admitted. "This does explain why she kept throwing those hardballs at him when the kids played baseball the other day."
"If Jubilee was pitching isn't she supposed to do that?" Hank asked.
"Yeah but not when they're on the same team!" Logan said. "He was at third base and she kept whacking him instead of the runner. Even when their team was up at bat instead of hitting the ball she used the bat to try and hit him with it! Got him a few times in the foot too."
"And you didn't put a stop to it?" Hank looked at him.
"Why would I? That kid was getting on my nerves," Logan admitted. "He's been complaining all week. 'The Danger Room practice is too long', 'I have too much homework', 'Jubilee won't stop beating me up'…. It's enough to drive a man insane!"
"You're really striving for the Teacher of the Year award aren't you?" Hank asked sarcastically.
"Here now with exclusive footage of how the incident started is Jamie Clone Number Two," Jamie reported. "Take it away Number Two."
The clone looked at Jamie. "I really wish you'd call me something else than that." Snickering could be heard in the back. "SHUT UP NUMBERS FOUR AND FIVE!"
"Just get on with it," Jamie sighed.
"Okay, okay," The Clone sighed. "Here is exclusive footage of how it all began! Roll 'em!"
The scene cut to the kitchen. Bobby, Roberto, Tim and Ray were there playing poker. "Maybe we should have invited the little squirt?" Tim asked. "I mean he's not that annoying!"
"Oh yes he is," Bobby said. "And worse he always wins! No we were better off lying to him. Last thing we need is that copycat taking all the cash I conned Logan out of."
"How did you do that?" Roberto asked.
"Fed him some line about needing new clothes to take Jubilee out," Bobby said. "I'm using it for my X Box 360 fund."
"I dunno man," Ray shook his head. "Sounds like you're asking for trouble to me. I fold."
"Trouble is my middle name," Bobby grinned. "I raise you three."
"I thought your middle name was Lewis?" Roberto asked. "I call."
"You know what I mean," Bobby said. "Read 'em and weep! Full house!"
"Aw nuts!" Roberto threw down his cards in disgust.
"Come to papa!" Bobby chuckled as he grabbed the chips. "I am on a winning streak!"
"Oh yeah?" Tim grinned. "Well how long do you think your luck will hold?"
"As long as I need it to," Bobby grinned.
"Really?" Tim raised an eyebrow. "Wanna put that luck to the test?"
"What do you have in mind?" Bobby asked.
"How would you like to double your winnings?" Tim asked.
"What do I have to do?" Bobby asked.
"Oh dear," Hank gulped as Jamie cut to the next segment. "Methinks young Iceman is being set up."
"Oh yeah? Well I think the Popsicle is gonna be setting up a lot of hours in the Danger Room," Logan growled.
"If he survives the wrath of Jubilee," Hank pointed out.
The next shot was Jubilee opening the door to her room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Bobby was there using his powers to put snow in her drawer. But what was really disconcerting was the fact that he was wearing Jubilee's skirt and a bra over his clothes while he was doing so. "Jubilee!" He was shocked. "I thought you were going shopping?"
"Jamie said you were leaving a surprise in my room!" Jubilee told him.
"See I told the truth!" Jamie spoke. It was obvious he was holding the camera.
"You are so dead you little…" Bobby growled. "That camera better not be on!"
"Oh my…" Hank blinked. "I think we have just discovered the reason why young Jubilee is so upset."
"WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY BRA?" Jubilee shouted.
"Uh I can explain," Bobby gulped. "It's not what you think!"
"What? You're not trying to win some stupid bet or something?" Jubilee folded her arms.
"Oh, well in that case it is what you think," Bobby said.
"DID YOU ALSO PUT SNOW IN MY DRAWERS AGAIN?" Jubilee yelled.
"It was part of the bet!" Bobby snapped. "Oops!"
"THAT'S IT! I AM SO OVER YOU!" Jubilee screamed as she used her powers to chase Bobby around the room. "COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Bobby screamed.
"And now off to Jamie Clone Number 3 for the weather," Jamie grinned.
Another Jamie clone was seen next to a large weather map. "Today it's going to be clear skies with an eighty percent chance of a certain walking cold front getting his butt kicked."
"Amazing how accurate the weather's getting lately," Logan growled.
"You're going to kill Bobby aren't you?" Hank said as Logan got up.
"Yeah like that's a newsflash!" Logan growled as he left.
"This has been MNN News. Remember our motto: We report the news because it's the best way to get revenge!" Jamie grinned.