Part 2 – The Second Beginning

"Carter, I don't think we're ready to talk about this." Her eyes bore apprehensively into his. Four months they'd been publicly back together, it was too soon to be even thinking about this topic, let alone discussing it.

"It's never too early to talk." Her previous words came back to haunt her.

One year previously:

"Don't avoid me Carter." She followed, well stormed after him. Having done nothing to merit this attitude her patience had run thin and had had enough.

"Abby, just leave it," he called back over his shoulder, determined to leave the hospital the way he liked, alone and tired. That way he could just grab a quick bite to eat and collapse on his bed in a dreamless sleep. It wasn't the best way to live, but that's how he preferred it.

"No," she shouted across to him. "This has gone on far too long." She finally reached him as he was started to climb into his jeep. Walking round to the passenger side, she was grateful for the central locking system, and climbed in.

"You've still got half a shift."

"Luka's getting someone to cover for me."

He knew to protest would be futile. So ignoring her watchful gaze he switched on the engine and manoeuvred out of the parking garage.

"Where are we heading?" He finally broke the silence.

"Well you're driving."

"You got in my car."

"How about a meeting?" She pursed her lips up in anticipation for the inevitable rejection.

"Not tonight."

"Dinner?" He snorted, she laughed. "Yeah, I guess I'm not suitably dressed for anywhere fancy. We could always go back to mine, Neela's working and I can order up some Chinese."

"Um, I don't know."

"I don't bite. And you're not likely to get food poisoning from take out."

"Can we just take a rain check?" He tried appealing to her sympathetic nature. "I've had a shitty day and I just want to sleep."

"No can do. But..." She put on a sunny disposition. "We can head over to yours; I'm multitalented and can order Chinese from anywhere."

He laughed, he couldn't help it. It was a bad attempt at humour, but an attempt none the less and he was grateful for it. If he was honest with himself he was grateful that he wouldn't be spending another evening alone, but he wasn't quite ready to be honest with himself.

"You haven't seen my new place."

"No." There was a very good reason for that too, it was his house with her. Kem, the woman who'd broken his heart and played a hand in breaking hers too. Well she didn't exactly believe the latter, but it was nice that on some level that she could blame someone else, someone external for the chaos that was her troubled love life.

"Then you won't appreciate all the decorating I've done. It was a beautiful house, but the last occupants didn't exactly have taste." If he sensed any sullenness from Abby he ignored it, choosing instead to fall back on their easy going banter.

"And yours is much better?" She bantered back to him.

"You should have seen it, the carpet in the living room was purple, purple! And they'd painted all the door frames a red glow colour. Kem said it was like stepping back into the seventies." He cringed at the memory of the house, while she just cringed that he'd mentioned her name.

Carter had been lying though his teeth for months. Lying about their weekly phone calls, their constant emailing and that she was coming over for Christmas. Luka had spoken to Gillian who'd met up with Debbie, who knew Kem and knew that although she wasn't happy, she was casually seeing Peter again, had been out to parties and was slowly adjusting back to life in the Congo. Abby knew Carter had also been lying about how happy and okay he really was.

She felt like she was about to step into the lion's den and was slightly pissed at Luka that he said she was the one to do it. She hated that he was right and that she didn't have a clue how to go about it. Though hearing him mention her name was a start, she had a way in and heading over to his house would give her the perfect opportunity to snoop. Not that you could call it snooping, she was just looking out for a friend and that's exactly what she'd tell her conscience or anyone else who might ask.

"And now you've brought it into what? The eighties?"

"Ha, ha." He quickly smirked over at her before turning back to the road. "I'll have you know my tastes are legendary. Designers come from miles just to see my creations."

"It's sad really." She shook her head sympathetically at him.

"What?" He demanded.

Sighing, she then explained. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you. They may come from miles to see you but it's just to warn future designers what not to do. You're actually featured in this months InStyle section of 'what not to do to your interior'."

"I'm hurt that you could even suggest anything like that."

"I speak only the truth." She giggled, not sure why she was giggling, she never giggled. Though apparently it was infectious, looking across at John, he was smiling too. Not a full smile, it didn't quite reach his eyes, but there was definitely a sparkle trying to break through.

"You are one mean lady. No wonder you're better as a Doctor, you lack the compassion needed to be a nurse."

"Well Congo Doc." Kerry had coined the phrase for the duo, Luka and Carter that is, and it had stuck. "At least I didn't potentially screw up my internship by going out and getting drunk with some cute little blonde."

"Who told you?"

"Who'd you think?" She answered wryly.

"I'm going to kill her."

"I wouldn't bother, motherhood's got that covered. Between sleepless nights, poopy diapers and constant feedings she's ready to scream."

When he didn't immediately answer her, she turned and saw his profile was no longer laughing. "She's lucky," he finally said, sounding slightly defeated.

"Yeah, Cosmo's a great kid." Abby agreed, feeling saddened herself and slightly guilty about mentioning the currently taboo subject. They drove the rest of the way in silence, she never understood Carter's need for quietness while driving, she loved having the windows open and her music blaring.

"So what will it be?" She laid the takeout leaflets on the table. Picking up the Indian flyer she discarded it and put a pizza and a Chinese flyer in front of Carter.

"It's got to be pizza." He handed her the leaflet. "Hawaiian?"

"Sounds good to me. Garlic bread and diet coke?" He nodded. "Oh, cool, they've got a deal on with Haagen Daaz. Cookie dough good for you?"

"Perfect. I'll be right back. The phone's over there." He pointed towards the hallway, through the open kitchen door. Then he made his was upstairs, presumably to change, she wished she had that option, but fleeing the hospital mid shift meant she was in scrubs and little else. Grinning, she had another reason to bitch at Luka, he seriously owed her. Not that she wouldn't have helped Carter, she was probably more worried than Luka, but him owing her a few favours would make her life as an Intern a lot more bearable.

She was right, he came downstairs to find her flicking through the TV channel. Having showered he was now wearing his favourite Levi's and a classic style, v-neck, black tee. He'd lost weight since last year and was beginning to look good again, shaking her head at the thought, she turned her mind to more pressing matters.

"Pizza should be here in about ten minutes."

"Good, you want to put on a movie?" He walked over to the bookcase where his limited collection was.

"No, I think we should talk."

He looked wryly over at her, his attempt at postponement having gone awry. "Can it wait until we've eaten?"

"You're only postponing the inevitable." She patted the space next to her, indicating that he should join her. "Why don't you tell me what you've been up to recently."

"Not much to tell." He said evasively.

"Come off it, as much it might seem like it, you don't spend 24/7 stuck in the ER."

"Near enough, when I'm not there I'm doing Foundation work, and if I'm not doing that I'm trying to catch some sleep."

"And are you?"

"Sleeping?" She nods. "Yeah." He wasn't lying, he closed his eyes and managed to tune out his thoughts just enough to sleep. He just wasn't getting that deep stage of sleeping.

"Hmmm." She pursed her lips, debating how to handle this.

"I'm okay." He tried to convince her. "The last few months have just been a bit rough."

"I understand John, I honestly do. There's nothing greater than the pain of losing a child and having your … girlfriend… move 3000 miles away." Tentatively she placed her hand on his knee to comfort him. "I know it's not much comfort to you, but there are people out there, people who know what you're going through and want to help." Swallowing the lump that made its way up into her mouth she refused to let him see her this way, she was over him. At least that's what she had told herself.

"Abby…"He paused, watching her, a millions thoughts running through his mind but was unable to catch onto one. "Can we not do this now?"

"I'm sorry John. I hate seeing you like this, that no matter what I say or do to get through to you none of it works. I want to help you get better."

"To fix me?" The irony wasn't lost on either of them.

"No. I want you to feel like you again."

"I haven't felt like me since… since before I was stabbed." She bit down on her lip, refusing to let these words hurt, refusing to let herself dwell on the fact that he didn't feel like him when they were together. But this wasn't about her, it was about him. She was going to get through to him tonight even if it destroyed any possibility of their friendship reforming.

It had to be about him. Her sanity wouldn't allow it to be about anything else.

The doorbell rang with the arrival of their food, interrupting anything she might have responded with. Reaching for his wallet Carter stood up and paid for their meal. Abby followed him to the kitchen, watching as he systematically placed the ice-cream in the freezer and set out the food and drinks for their consumption.

"I'll go put on some music." Abby offered.

"Sure, but nothing too… loud." He gave a small knowing smile.

"Pixies ok?" She returned the light hearted attempt at banter.

"If you can find it."

"Now you're under estimating my talents."

He smirked as he watched her head through to the living room. The smile soon faded as the upbeat lilts of 'Monkey Gone to Heaven' wafted through to him.

"How the…?"

"A lady never reveals her secrets."

"I don't have a Pixies CD in this house."

"Correction, you don't have a Pixie's CD case in this house. But you do have an Eminem's CD case, which is just for show and is the perfect hiding place for a Pixie's album." She announced to him smugly.

"Just…" He couldn't think of a suitable response. "Sit down and eat."

"You're the boss." She sat down opposite him.

"Oh, I don't think I've ever been the boss."

She looked up from her plate and smiled.

The conversation over the meal was light-hearted and on some level even fun. Afterwards, they retired to the living room, Carter took the sofa while Abby chose the armchair, and Carter knew his reprieve was over.

"So," Abby looked across at him. "Where do you want to start?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"You don't have a choice. I know tonight won't fix everything, but I'll always be here for you." She gave him an encouraging smile, "it's never too early to start talking. We don't even have to talk about what happened. I just want you to talk to me."

"Anything?"

"Anything at all. You could tell me about your day at work."

"You were there; nothing exciting happened."

"But I didn't see it through your eyes." All she wanted was for him to start talking, knowing that once he did she would be able to find her opening and try and turn the conversation around. Her psyche rotation would be coming in handy for something.

"Well," he started, then looked to her for approval. "Morris and Barnett thought they could get away with…"

Abby smiled, she enjoyed listening to his voice and soon found herself drifting into a slight daze.

"And that's pretty much my day. Has been the routine of my day for the last few months." Carter finished. Looking up he saw tears in Abby's eyes and wondered what had caused them. He didn't think that anything he had said could have caused such emotion. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Abby blinked back the tears. "It's just, I was remembering when you used to tell me about your day. There was so much passion in your life, you really enjoyed what you did and it's all gone."

"People change."

"People don't change. They will always be who they are, they just get a little side tracked along the way."

"So, you want to get me back on track?"

"No, I want you to want to get back on track. I know you, I know me, how we think and no-one can help our selves but ourselves."

"So why are you here?"

"To show you that you aren't alone and that when you're ready I'm here for you." She touched his arm softly.

"Why are you here for me?" He asked. "After everything that's happened during these last few years…"

"Because," she paused to find the right words. "You were always there for me and despite everything that happened between us I hate to see you hurting."

"Okay." He nodded. "When I'm ready I'll give you a call."

"You don't have to wait until you're ready to call me." She told him adamantly. "You can call me day or night, I order up a mean takeaway. I'm great company in movie theatres and have even been known to go bowling!"

"Thank-you." Carter reached across and squeezed her hand briefly. He then lent back against the couch and closed his eyes. Today had been a long day, he just wanted to sleep.

Tomorrow he would figure out where to go next.

He heard Abby stand up and move in front of him. He felt her breath on his face before she softly planted a kiss on his forehead. "Call me."

Authors Notes: Thank you to everybody who reviewed the first chapter, each review put a smile on my face.
I hope this one lived up to your expectations and please let me know what you think!