Meet the New Class
The next day after a harrowing training session and an insane breakfast, the New Mutants made their way to the classroom. "You know that Danger Room isn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be," Tim remarked. "Okay I could have done without the laps but the lasers and the razor saws being thrown at me wasn't so bad. Kind of reminded me of home."
"Where did you grow up? On a battlefield?" Everett groaned.
"Nah, on the streets of New York," Tim said. "Let's just say I never had what my parole officer called a stable environment."
"I think more than half the people here have the same background," Tabitha chewed some gum. "Lord knows I didn't."
"Hey, at least you guys didn't live in a sewer," Ray said.
"Try a graveyard sometime," Dead Girl remarked. "If that's not one step down I don't know what is!"
"Well you certainly meet an interesting group of people here," Betsy remarked. "So where are you originally from, Dead Girl? You know before your…untimely demise?"
"To be honest I haven't a clue," Dead Girl shrugged. "It's all kind of a blur. But something tells me my death was the high point of my life."
"So the main X-Men get a separate class from us?" Doug asked as they went into the classroom and sat at their seats. "Even Bobby and Rina go to the separate class? Even though they're not graduating with the others?"
"Yeah and you get stuck with the rest of us nuts," Tabitha blew a huge bubble. "I don't know why they call us the 'New Mutants'. I mean you new guys I get but the rest of us have been around here a lot longer!"
"Even though you were with the Brotherhood?" Roberto pointed out.
"Hey, I only lived with them for a short time," Tabitha pointed out. "When Mystique and Magneto showed up I ran outta there."
"Wait, you were part of the original Brotherhood?" Everett asked.
"I hung around 'em for a few months," Tabitha said. "By themselves they're not that bad. It was Mystique and Magneto that were lousy."
"That's not how Cyclops tells it," Everett said.
"Scooter Boy has a huge stick up his…" Tabitha began.
"Hello!" Morph walked in with Magnus. "I'm Mr. Morph and this is Mr. Magnus and we'll be your teachers for today!"
"I don't know how Xavier roped us into this," Magnus groaned.
"Free room and board? Does that ring a bell?" Tabitha called out.
"Remind me to give you detention later," Magnus looked at her. "With someone else!"
"Lighten up, Teach," Morph made himself look like a professor. "It's our job to fill their minds with valuable knowledge! Things that they'll need to know in order to survive. Like how to play Texas Hold 'em!"
"Forget it Morph!" Magnus slammed his fist on the teacher's desk. "Even I know that's unacceptable! Poker they can learn on their own time!"
"Okay, okay," Morph waved. "How about Blackjack?"
"This isn't Clown College!" Magnus snapped as the students laughed. "Will you take this seriously?"
"For a good meal I'll take anyone anywhere," Morph grinned.
"I should have let myself get atomized into a million pieces when I had the chance," Magnus groaned.
"Well what are we supposed to teach them today?" Morph asked.
"How should I know? You were the one who asked me to help you!" Magnus snapped.
"Well now you know why," Morph said. "Hey Skullfire you have a problem? You're twitching just as much as Magnus here."
"Let's just say I don't feel like sitting much," Tim grumbled as he fidgeted.
"He got on the wrong side of Kitty's pet dragon," Amara giggled.
"That's it!" Morph said. "That's what we'll teach! Dragons!"
"We are not gonna teach them about dragons!" Magnus snapped. "Do any of you kids know what we're supposed to teach you?"
"Yeah, like we're gonna give them a straight answer," Ray whispered to Tim. Then he spoke up. "Acutely our last teacher was going over probabilities, using poker."
"See I told you card games were an important part of life," Morph said to Magnus.
Magnus growled. "No it is not! And Berzerker I know a wild story when I hear one!"
"Not in this case," Tabitha said. "Mr. Proudstar played cards with us all the time."
"Until Beast caught him at it," Jamie added.
"Really?" Tim blinked. "Man, maybe there is something to this education crap."
"Didn't Xavier say anything about what we were supposed to teach these kids?" Magnus snapped.
"Uh, probably but I kind of got distracted," Morph admitted. "Hey your mom is really cute in this dimension!"
"That is not what I wanted to hear!" Magnus snapped.
"But it's true!" Morph said. "I mean she is a fox! And…""Say one more word on that subject and you will become Xavier's new lawn ornament!" Magnus grabbed an apple on the desk and turned it into metal. This silenced any giggling in class. "GET THE POINT?"
"Maybe we should get to studying?" Morph gulped. "So class open your books to page 12!"
"Which one?" Ray asked.
"ANY OF THEM!" Magnus snapped. "Just sit there and read something!" The students reached for several books and started to randomly read. "I do not believe this!"
"Just be glad Rogue's not in this class," Morph said. "That would give a whole new meaning to Teacher's Pet…"
"THAT'S IT! I WARNED YOU!" Magnus shouted. Soon several metallic objects started to whirl around the room. The class watched as Magnus chased Morph around. Morph changed into a kangaroo and hopped out of the classroom.
"Well this is certainly an education you wouldn't find at my old school," Betsy blinked.
"Mine either," Doug said. "Not even in weapons class."
"These guys make Proudstar look like Teacher of the Year," Sam remarked.
"Well at least these guys aren't setting any textbooks on fire," Roberto shrugged.
"Give 'em a few minutes," Jubilee said. "They probably will."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"So exactly who is living with who now?" Logan asked. "I know we had to shake things up since the new kids got here."
"Well Kitty and Danielle still share a room," Ororo told him. "As well as Peter and Remy now. Tabitha and Amara have changed roommates so that they can be together. Jubilee is now with Rina."
"That's good," Xavier nodded.
"No, it isn't," Logan groaned. "I think they're both a bad influence on each other. Trust me on this."
"Oh come on now Logan, they're sisters well…adopted sisters, sort of," Hank said.
"Hank, the Firecracker is teaching X how to shop and get in trouble and X is teaching the Firecracker how beat people up and pick locks!" Logan said. "And they are both getting very good at driving me crazy!"
"Logan you said so yourself you couldn't find their scents in your room when somehow someone put pink ribbons in your hair," Hank pointed out.
"Yeah like Jean would spray her perfume all over the place," Logan snapped. "I know it was them! Or the Ice Cube. Or Boom Boom. Or the Elf. Or…There are way too many suspects around here!"
"Yes well," Hank looked at the roster. "Moving on now, Rahne and Paige are now sharing living space as are Rogue and Betsy."
"Really?" Logan asked. "I would have thought they were the last two to bunk together."
"Rogue requested it," Xavier said. "I think she's willing to give Betsy a chance and they are starting to bond. It seems they do have several similar interests."
"Well so do her and Dead Girl," Ororo pointed out. "Personality wise I mean."
"Only reason she and Dead Girl won't share is to avoid any vampire/zombie jokes," Logan snorted.
"Well at least with Betsy and Rogue sharing we won't have any reprisals of the Backstreet Boys Poster wars we had with Rogue and Kitty when they shared a room," Hank thought. "And Penny is with Dead Girl. Can't really hurt each other."
"Jean still has her own room since she's an instructor," Ororo said. "And so does Scott. Forge has his own room as well, although he's more likely to sleep in his lab."
"Bobby and Sam are sharing," Hank continued. "As are Jesse and Jamie still have singles. Which makes sense because at times Jamie can be his own roommate."
"Roberto and Ray have switched and are now Roberto is with Everett and Ray is with Tim," Xavier said. "Hopefully this will be a less volatile combination. And Kurt has offered his room for Doug for now. They're getting along quite well."
"Yeah they spent four hours talking in German last night," Logan said. "Why does Bedlam still have his own space?"
"Would you share a room with someone who can accidentally blow up your alarm clock or stereo in the middle of the night?" Hank asked. "Especially if that person had a nightmare or an accidental power surge?"
"You mean he's still having those surges?" Logan asked. "I thought you told us they were minor?"
"They're getting stronger," Xavier said. "Especially since the Acolytes attack. But during the day he seems to be in more control."
"Oh so he just can't stop blowing stuff up when he's asleep," Logan said sarcastically. "That makes me feel much better!"
"Well at least he doesn't do it on purpose," Hank pointed out. "Unlike Mr. Fitzgerald who thought it was amusing to try and zap Lockheed."
"So that's how he got those burns on his butt," Logan grinned.
"Yes, some of these new students are quite spirited," Xavier raised an amused eyebrow.
"PENNY! NO!" They heard Scott shout outside.
"What in the world…" Hank opened the door and on the other side was Scott holding onto a textbook with his hands and Penny was holding onto the other end with her teeth.
"Penny! No! Stop that!" Scott snapped. "Professor!"
"Problems?" Hank raised an eyebrow.
"You could say that," Scott said. "I decided to try to teach her to read but she decided to have a snack instead!"
"I've heard of devouring the contents of novels but this is ridiculous," Hank blinked.
Penny managed to yank the book out of Scott's hands and ran off with it. "PENNANCE! NO! NO! BAD GIRL! BRING THAT BOOK BACK HERE!" Scott ran after her. "DON'T EAT THAT! GOT YA! OW! MY LEG!"
Hank looked at Logan. "And I thought your clone's skills were less than polished."
"At least X didn't bite people," Logan remarked. "Not much anyway."
"She's obviously not used to living with people," Xavier said. "It's going to take some time."
"PENNY! NO! NO! WE DON'T DO THAT IN THE HALLS!" Scott shouted. "I AM NOT CLEANING THAT UP!"
"I think the first thing we should do is get her housebroken," Logan did an about face and went back into the room with the others. "We should have called her 'Spot'."
"Don't you just love working with new people?" Hank asked sarcastically.
"Speaking of new people we finally got those digital images of the Acolytes who attacked the mansion from our security cameras," Warren said as he walked in. "Some of them are old friends of ours." He put in a disk and brought up the images.
"Horns, Sabertooth, and Feral…" Logan looked at some of the pictures. "I thought I recognized those scents. Who's the one being creamed by Pinky?"
"That's Cortez I believe," Hank said.
"Oh yeah," Logan nodded. "Penny sure likes to bite doesn't she?"
"This woman was the ringleader," Warren brought up another picture. "They called her…"
"Amelia Voight," Xavier's jaw dropped.
"You know her?" Warren asked. "Wait a minute, that name is familiar. Wasn't she the one you used to…" Warren did a double take. "Oh boy…"
"Of all the mutants in the world," Hank shook his head. "I certainly did not expect this from her!"
"First the Porcupine and now your old flame," Logan frowned. "Charles we really need to be more careful of who we let in here!"
"Charles," Ororo's voice was on the intercom. "Colonel Fury is on your private line. He says he needs to speak to you right away."
"Here we go," Logan groaned. "I knew Fury wouldn't buy that clone story!"
"Let me talk to him," Xavier said.
The others left but Logan stayed. "Anything Fury can say to you he can say to me and he knows it," Logan told him.
"What can I do for you Colonel Fury?" Xavier asked as he turned on the videophone.
"You could tell me more about one of your students for starters," Fury said. "A certain Douglas Ramsey."
"I was assuming you would wish to speak about Joseph," Xavier said.
"Is that what you're calling that Magneto Light wannabe?" Fury remarked. "Whoever he is he's the least of your problems. Especially since the real Magneto just trashed a scientific research facility in Japan this morning. Three guesses what he's gonna do with the equipment and material he stole?"
"You don't know for sure that he will use it making another Bio Pulse," Xavier cautioned him.
"No, since you so conveniently trashed our lab and erased all the data saying exactly what that thing was made of!" Fury snapped. "And for some reason several of our people who were studying that project surprisingly forgot how it was put together!"
"That latter part wasn't me," Xavier told him.
"Well its not like you haven't done that before you know?" Fury snapped. "Like I said right now we have bigger fish to fry, the Ramsey kid for starters."
"What makes Cypher so special?" Logan said. "I don't get it. There are a lot more powerful mutants in the world."
"You're kidding me right?" Fury said. "For years we've been trying to get information on the Hellfire Club and have gotten less than nothing. Even Hydra's security isn't as tough to crack. Although I admit they have gotten downhill a bit since Logan's little girl trashed their headquarters and nearly every single one of their other bases!"
"So that's what's got your panties in a twist?" Logan folded his arms. "It's not like you to get so worked up over an informant."
"It's not just that," Fury told him. "You're forgetting his little talent. Five will get you ten the Hellfire Club had him translate and work on some super secret stuff. We wanna know how much of it is ours."
"Or what the Hellfire Club was working on," Xavier thought aloud.
"That kid could have vital information that would impact not only national security but global security as well," Fury told him. "We need to know exactly what he knows and soon."
"Douglas has already been through a lot," Xavier said. "The Hellions tried to kill him when he escaped."
"All the more reason we need to make sure the kid is secure," Fury said. "We'll be there in one hour. Fury out."
"Oh this is really gonna be fun," Logan grumbled. "Just what we need, another reason to start fights with SHEILD."
"They want to take Douglas," Xavier sighed. "I may not have been able to read his mind but I could read between the lines."
"They may put up more of a fight for him than with X," Logan frowned. "Assassins and weapons are a dime a dozen, but a good translator and code breaker? That could be even more dangerous."
BOOM!
"Then again…" Logan grumbled as he and Xavier went to investigate the disturbance. "Now what?"
"COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!" Magnus screamed as he chased Morph around with the New Mutants. Several globes, metal rulers and other objects with metal were flying around attacking Morph. "STUDENTS! HUNT HIM DOWN! HUNT HIM DOWN AND BLAST HIM TO PIECES!"
"You heard the man! He told us to do this!" Tabitha said as she launched a small time bomb at Morph. It exploded leaving a small dent in the wall.
Logan and Xavier ducked to avoid the flying debris. They watched in shock as the students chased Morph by them. "NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS!" They heard Scott scream. "YEOW!"
"HEY!" Sunfire shouted. "DON'T TRY TO BEAT UP MORPH WITHOUT ME!" Another explosion could be heard.
"WILL YOU LUNATICS KNOCK IT OFF!" Mimic could be heard shouting next. "OW! MAGNUS! SUNFIRE! OKAY NOW YOU TWO ARE REALLY GONNA GET IT!"
BOOM!
"RUN! RUN!" Ray screamed as he and most of the New Mutants ran away. Morph and Magnus were with them.
"YOU'D BETTER RUN!" Sunfire shouted as she, Mimic and TJ chased them.
"Perhaps the Exiles really aren't suited to do teaching," Xavier said. "Except of course in combat exercises."
"We really need to get some new teachers," Logan sighed. "And definitely…"
"A few tanks," Xavier finished his sentence. "I know, I know…"