Part 3 - Time to talk?

Previously -

"Carter, I don't think we're ready to talk about this." Her eyes bore apprehensively into his. Four months they'd been publicly back together, it was too soon to be even thinking about this topic, let alone discussing it.

"It's never too early to talk." Her previous words came back to haunt her.

Abby tried to get out of his locked grasp but he wasn't letting her go.

"I'm not letting you go. Not this time. If you hadn't come back into my life and shaken me out of my spiralling depression we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be able to do this." He leant down and kissed her nose. "Or this." He kissed her lips. "Or…"

"Stop it." She leant into his chest, hiding her face from his probing gaze. "I'm not ready."

"Abby. Don't hide from me again. We've been through too much this year for you to start hiding now."

"But."

"Please?"

Abby tried to resist his plea. She knew he was right. They would have to talk about this. But how could she explain how she felt about children, about having a child of her own and about Richard. There was still so much left to tell him and if she did she wasn't sure how he would react and if he would feel the same about her.

"We should sit down." Her voice was shaky as she answered him.

Abby led him back to the sofa and encouraged him to sit down first. She then carefully sat so there was a small but very significant gap between them.

Her apartment would always be described as 'cosy', but it had never felt more claustrophobic. As she glanced around the room she could feel the walls getting closer, she hadn't felt this anxious in a very long time. Not since they'd kissed eight months ago.

She shook that memory from her head. Maybe she could delay the inevitable and offer what she felt was their next step. She took a deep breath and turned to look at him. "I'm not ready for children yet. I know we're not getting any younger and the older I get the harder it will be to conceive, but we've only been together for such a short time and I don't want to jeopardise what the fragile relations we've built up this past year by bringing in an innocent baby that would be so reliant on us when we might not be completely stable yet ourselves.

'You're going to make a great Dad one day and I want to be the one who gives you a child. I really want to. But…" Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked deep into his soul hoping he would understand what she was trying to say. "Not now. I'm not ready."

Carter reached over and gently took her hand in his, softly stroking the sensitive spot between her index finger and thumb. "Don't be scared." He whispered. "I'm not going to leave you again."

Abby didn't want him to make that promise again. Instead she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I hope so. Because I mean it. One day we'll get our happy ever after."

"I know." He told her softly, but with conviction. Making her feel safe.

I've been thinking." Her voice sounded so tiny.

"Yeah?"

"I want us to take the next step."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I think I'm ready for you to move in with me. Or maybe, we can find our own place together? Whatever you want."

"Do you mean it?" Hope glistened around him.

"Yes." She nodded.

"You're not just saying it as a peace offering?" The hope didn't waver but he wanted to be sure that this is what she wanted and she wouldn't change her mind.

"I wouldn't do that to you Carter, you deserve the best... I love you." She dropped his hand and turned slightly to face him and then cupped his face softly in her hands, occasionally stroking his cheek with her thumb. "I want to make a commitment to you and right now this is all I'm ready to offer."

Carter turned his face slightly to kiss the palm of her hand. He whispered, "I love you to."

Tears rolled freely down her cheek. "Thank you," she mumbled as she moved into his open embrace. Her head snuggled into his neck.

Eventually she pulled slightly away from him and wiped the dried out tears from around her eyes. Looking up at Carter she saw him do the same.

"Do you want to move in tonight?"

"I wasn't planning on leaving."

"We could make it official. Christen every room?" Mischief sparkled in her eye.

"That, my darling." He kissed her. "Is the second best idea you've had tonight."

Authors Notes: I know it was short, but I'm hoping it was sweet.

Thank you for you all your supportive reviews and I would love to hear what you think about this.