Disclaimer: I own nothing... darn.

My Ramblings: Hey, there! This story's title has been changed about a million times. It started out as "Untitled as of Yet" then became "So Sorry". Now it is "Nothing's Changed". I think it fits. And I came up with it all on my own! I'm so proud! I had to think about it for hours. Kind of. I thought and then I was in Social Studies at school today, when the idea hit me. I actually yelled, "FINALLY!" in the middle of class! I was so embarrassed did I spell that right? i'm too lazy to get the dictionary but I was actually very happy I finally found a title I liked! Thank you, those of you who suggested titles! Your ideas helped me think of some of my own!

Chapter Two

It's dark here. Wherever here is. I'm all alone. Is this death? If it is, it isn't half as relieving as I thought it would be. Maybe if I walk, I'll find someone, someplace, soon. As my feet wander, so do my thoughts. I wonder how Quatre and Trowa and 'Fei are taking this. I wonder how Heero is taking it. Is he angry? Is he sad? Does he miss me?

I laugh out loud at that thought, and the sound is eaten by the blackness. It scares me. I'm very scared. Everything is the same as it was when I was alive. It's no fair. I killed myself so I could leave those feelings of intense aloneness and sadness behind. Boy is this screwy.

I'm tired. I want to stop, to sit, but I have this feeling that if I do, I won't like the consequences. I feel like I've been walking forever. Maybe I have.

I'm so alone. Beyond the blackness I hear voices, laughter. I race towards it. I come to a fence. On the other side is a huge playground. The others are all standing around. Quatre and Trowa, Wufei and Sally Po, Heero and… RELENA! No, that's gotta be wrong!

But there they are… standing arm in arm, watching a little girl with his hair and her eyes. That can't be. But it is. I never told him I love him. I didn't. I should have… but I was too scared.

"I'm so glad you guys are together," Quatre tells Heero.

He looks at Relena with loving eyes. "Me too. I've loved her for so long… I just couldn't tell her. I think it's partly because of Duo. He always acted like he wanted something more from me… I just didn't like him that way."

"Maybe it's a good thing that moron killed himself," Wufei puts in.

Heero laughs.

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"I'm getting hungry, guys. What do you say we all take a break and head over to Burger King, or Taco Bell?" Quatre suggests.

I can hardly believe my ears. Duo is laying here, fighting for his life, and he wants Burger King? Suddenly it hits me. He's doing this to try to calm us down. It's something he would do. Trowa has been pacing, right along side Wufei, for about three hours. I haven't moved from this spot in ten hours. And I won't move until Duo is back in this world.

"To tell you the truth," Wufei says. "I am getting pretty hungry. I'm up for Taco Bell." Trowa nods his agreement.

"Heero?"

I shake my head.

"Heero, you need to eat. It isn't good for you to just stop eating. And getting out will do you good."

I shake my head. I'm not leaving Duo alone. Right now, he's my first priority. I'll worry about myself later.

Quatre sighs. "At least let us bring you back something."

I nod. Quatre's right. It will do Duo no good if he wakes up and I'm half-dead. They leave without saying another word. I sit here for a few minutes, wondering what to do. I realize the letter is still in my pocket. I pull it out. I still don't have enough courage to do it.

Without my telling it to, my hand tears the envelope open and pulls the letter out. It sits in front of my face. My eyes are drawn to it like a magnet.

Dearest Heero,

I'm sorry about all this. You probably think I'm nuts, but if you are reading this I'm dead. I have been alone the past two years… ever since the war ended. I want to die. I really do. My life is horrible. I've become an alcoholic, and a druggie. Pot, coke, ecstasy, you name it I'm addicted to it.

I know you probably think I'm exaggerating. That nothing is this bad, and I took the coward's way out. But the pain is just too big and I am just too small. I'll do it in my back yard. I'm going to take pills… my anti-depressants. Then I'll slit my wrists. Two ways of suicide? I know that's what you're thinking. I want to be sure I die.

I'm not a hero. In the war, I messed stuff up for you and the guys. I never did anything right. It isn't right for me to live and take credit for defeating OZ and returning the peace. I'm a lost cause. I'm a liability. I'm a disaster. It's me against the world. And the world won.

The last thing I wanted you to know is that I love you. I love you with all my heart. With everything I have. I was scared of telling you before. I was scared you'd hate me. But now it doesn't matter.

With love always,

Duo Maxwell

"Oh, God," I whisper, as tears spill from my eyes. I pull him into a tight hug. "Oh, God, Duo," I murmur into his hair. "I wish I'd known earlier. I love you, too. I was scared too. So scared of revolting you… of getting my feelings hurt." I choke back sobs. "Oh, God. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. So sorry. I can't live without you anymore. Please, come back. I love you. Duo—" My next words are drowned out by sobs.

"Heero?" I didn't even hear the door open. "Are you ok?"

I look at Quatre. He looks worried. I shake my head and thrust the letter at him. He reads it. When he's done, he backs out of the room leaving it on the table.

"Heero, why did you react so strongly?" he asks before closing the door.

My breath catches in my throat. "Because, Q. I—I love him too. If I hadn't been so scared of getting hurt… I would have told him. Then this wouldn't have happened. It's my fault." I begin crying again.

"No, Heero. It's nobody's fault. Duo—" Quatre cuts himself off, realizing I'm not paying attention. He leaves the room without another word.

Gently I lay Duo back on the bed. Then I bury my head in my hands and sob.

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I peer at Heero through the small window in the door. "I've never seen him like this," I comment.

"That's because the man he loves has never tried to kill himself."

I turn to stare at Quatre. "What?"

"I said, 'Th—'"

"I know what you said. I meant what do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Duo loves Heero. And Heero loves Duo."

"I never would have guessed. Heero always seemed to hate the guy. Why didn't he say something?"

"He was scared. He didn't want to get hurt."

I ponder this for a minute, then nod. My stomach growls. "Let's go eat. We'll bring Heero's stuff back to him in a little while. Trowa's already down in the cafeteria."

Quatre nods, and leads me down to the basement of the hospital.

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Nothing has changed. It is still black. Black everywhere. There is no light, no sound, other than my harsh breathing. From somewhere above me, I hear crying.

"Oh, God," someone whispers. "Oh, God, Duo. I wish I'd known earlier. I love you, too. I was scared too. So scared of revolting you… of getting my feelings hurt." Vaguely, I realize the voice is Heero's. He chokes back a sob. "Oh, God. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. So sorry. I can't live without you anymore. Please, come back. I love you. Duo—" I can't hear his next words because he is crying too hard.

"No! Heero no!" I shout. "It's not your fault! It's mine! I'm such an idiot! Please, don't blame yourself!" But he doesn't hear me. 'Duo, you're such an idiot. His voice is probably just a figment of your imagination.' Suddenly, I want to cry.

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