Wake Up Little Bobby

"Ow…My head…" Bobby groaned as he stirred. He put his hand to his head and sat up on a bed. He realized he was in some kind of metal cell complete with a sink, toilet and a mirror. "Great! I'm captured again."

"Well looks like Sleeping Bobby's finally awake," Evan grinned from the other side of the bars. He was in his Spyke form and folded his arms. Tarot was next to him.

"Spyke! You are so toast!" Bobby stretched out his hands to form some ice blasts but found that he couldn't do it. "Huh?"

"You have an inhibitor collar on stupid," Tarot said. "Not that it would do you much good anyway."

"Wait a minute?" Bobby noticed that his hands were unusually slender. "What happened to my hands? And my voice and my…" He looked down and saw two things on his chest that were not there before. "AGGGHH!"

"Let's just say you're not exactly yourself today," Evan grinned.

"What the hell?" Bobby looked at himself in the mirror. But he wasn't really himself. He was in Emma Frost's body. "What did you do to me?"

"Actually its what I did to you," Switch sashayed from the shadows.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" Bobby screamed.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess here," Evan said. "Switch put you in Emma Frost's body. That's why we call her Switch. And people call me slow?"

"Oh my god…" Bobby was hyperventilating. "Oh my god…" Reflexively he patted his groin to find something that obviously wasn't there. "OH MY GOD!"

"He's not taking it well is he?" Tarot asked.

"I don't know why," Switch shrugged. "I'd kill to have a body like that!"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Bobby snared as he grabbed the bars. "AND I DON'T JUST MEAN THE CELL!"

"Relax Ice-Babe," Evan grinned. "You'll be back soon enough. Once Ms. Frost takes care of Cypher."

"Cypher?" Bobby asked.

"Don't worry, she'll just fix up some of those loose memories of his so he won't remember anything," Tarot said. "Then she'll come right back."

"Wait a minute…" Bobby held up his…or rather Emma's hand. "So she's in my body?"

"Yes," Evan said.

"And I'm in her body?"

"Yes."

"So since I'm in her body I don't have my ice powers but her telepathy?"

"Yes that's why we put the collar on you."

"Well then that means…" Bobby grinned. "She doesn't have her powers! And the second she walks in the door the Professor will know she's a fake!"

"Normally that would be the case except…" Switch grinned. "Telepaths are a little different. Since their minds operate at a different level than most mutants and technically all humans have some part of their brain that is theoretically capable of telepathy…"

"She still has her powers," Evan cut in. "And now she has yours too."

"What?" Bobby shouted.

"Face it Ice Girl, you're stuck here," Evan said. "But don't worry. She'll be back soon."

"Hey I know what will be fun!" Switch clapped her hands. "Let's get him some pretty pink outfits and make him try them on!"

"NO WAY!" Bobby shouted. He looked at the white halter top and white low riding leather pants with high heels. "This is humiliating enough!"

"It certainly is," Evan laughed. "This is my replacement on the X-Men? What a joke!"

"The only joke around here is you!" Bobby shouted. "When I get back in my own body you're gonna be a frozen popsicle! And the X-Men are gonna trash your little wanna be group! You really are pathetic! I mean, even the old Brotherhood weren't as big losers as you are!"

"I'm not the one wearing a bra and panties," Evan grinned. "Who's the loser again?"

"Ow!" Bobby groaned. "Ow! What else did you do to me? My stomach…It feels like somebody's grabbing my guts and twisting them into pretzels!"

"Oh that," Tarot snickered. "That's nothing. Ms. Frost just happens to have her period this week."

"WHAT?" Bobby screamed.

"Don't worry," Evan grinned. "I'm sure we can find you some pads or tampons again if you need them."

"WHAT?" Bobby screamed louder.

"You know Bevatron was wrong," Tarot grinned. "Switch you didn't screw this up!"

"Let's leave this damsel in distress for now," Evan laughed. "Come on, we have better things to do!" They went off laughing.

"This is not happening," Bobby whined as he looked at the body he was currently inhabiting. "I'm a chick! In high heels and…And this outfit makes me look totally fat!"

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This is going to be easier than I thought, Emma thought to herself as the X-Men returned to the mansion. And this body has such power! I wonder if the boy knows how much potential he really has?

"Bobby, I want to talk to you," Ororo said as they entered the mansion. "You deliberately disobeyed my orders."

"Sorry Storm," Emma said, pretending to be embarrassed. "I thought I could catch them. I mean I know how much you want Evan to be caught."

"Yes, well as good as your intentions were," Ororo looked at her. "You should have followed my orders. Doug was nearly captured and his parent's house burned down. Saving lives takes precedence over hot dogging."

"I'm really sorry, Storm," Emma feigned her apology. "I won't happen again."

"You bet it won't," Ororo folded her arms. "I think some time in the Danger Room after dinner will help you focus."

"Okay," Emma said. Stuck up cow…No problem. Hopefully I'll get the job done before then. Even if I don't how hard could it be? "I gotta go see Doug now. I need his help with some homework."

"Really?" Ororo looked at her. "You've never been eager to do schoolwork before."

"Well, maybe I'm maturing," Emma said. Then she decided to say something in character. "Mature enough to skip a Danger Room session?"

"Nice try," Ororo smirked.

Yeah, I thought that would do it, Emma grinned as he walked away from Ororo This will be so easy it won't be funny.

"Bobby! Bobby!" Kitty flagged Emma down while carrying a batch of cookies. "You promised to try my cookies when we got back! Remember?"

"Oh sure Kitty," Emma took one. "I could use a snack after beating up the Hellions." She bit into it and swallowed. "URK!"

"I know it kind of has a weird taste," Kitty said. "This time I put in some tartar sauce, cinnamon hearts, onion dip and chocolate chips. Along with a few other ingredients."

"Like what?" Emma gasped. "Glue? Because that's what it tastes like!"

"You don't have to be so mean about it!" Kitty huffed and walked away.

"Well the next time someone tries to poison me I'll remember to be more polite!" Emma shouted. "Ew…My taste buds will never be the same again! What am I saying? Bobby's taste buds will never be the same again!"

"So how are you doing Doug?" She overheard Kurt say.

"Well, I've just outed myself as a mutant to my parents, told them about being involved in creating a dangerous weapon that will make me stay on SHEILD's wanted list for years, got attacked by the Hellions and had my house burned down," Doug said as he rounded the corner with Kurt. "How do you think I'm doing?"

"All in all a typical day in the X-Men huh?" Emma smiled as she went up to them.

"Oh Bobby! There you are! Come on! We need to go!" Kurt grabbed her arm. "See you later Doug! We gotta take care of something!"

"Wait!" Emma protested. But before she could say anything Kurt teleported her away. The next thing she knew she was being pelted with whipped cream. Kurt had teleported her into a huge whipped cream fight in the back yard with the Misfits. "Stop it! Stop it!"

Polly flew straight at her. "DIE!" Polly screeched.

"YAAAAHHHH!" Emma screamed as Polly unleashed his unorthodox attack right in her face.

"Eww Polly that's not nice!" Todd winced.

"I'm getting cleaned up!" Emma headed for the nearest bathroom inside as she wiped what mess she could off with her gloves. "Something tells me that Danger Room is going to be a piece of cake compared to this!" Emma muttered to herself.

"BOBBY!"

Emma turned around and found herself face to face with Tabitha who instantly punched her square in the nose. "OW!"

"I warned you what would happen if you iced up the girl's bathroom again!" Tabitha shouted as she kneed Emma in the groin so hard that she fell down on the floor. "Jerk!" She stormed off.

"Ow…" Emma groaned. "That…does…hurt…"

"AAHHHHHHH!" A herd of Jamies ran over her. "GET AWAY FROM ME TRINITY!"

"KISSY KISSY TIME!" Trinity ran over Emma next. "COME BACK AND GIVE YOUR GIRLS SOME LOVIN'!"

"Oh god…" Emma moaned. "Got me…in the groin…again…Ow…Ow…"

"Rrrrrrrrrrr…."

Emma looked up and saw a purple dragon staring at her. Smoke came out of its nostrils straight into her face.

"Uh oh…" Emma instinctively iced up. That's when Lockheed gave her a full blast of fire right in her face. Even in ice mode it still hurt. "AGGGGHHHH!"

She turned back into human form. "I don't know how much more of this I can take…" She hissed. Lockheed hissed at her. "Oh shut up you Barney reject!"

Polly flew back in. "THERE'S THE ENEMY! ATTACK!" He screeched as he dive-bombed Emma. "ATTACK!"

"This place is a madhouse!" Emma screamed. "Stop it! Get off me you stupid bird!"

"Geeze what's the problem here?" Shipwreck walked in with Xavier.

"WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" Emma screamed as Polly backed off. "EVERYONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME THAT'S THE PROBLEM!"

"Shipwreck I think you should take the Misfits home now," Xavier sighed.

"AND TAKE THAT STUPID PARROT WITH YOU!" Emma screamed. That's when Lockheed bit Emma in the leg. "GAAHHHHHH!"

"Lockheed no!" Kitty ran in with several other X-Men and Misfits and grabbed her dragon. "What has gotten into you?"

"FAKE! FAKE!" Polly screeched before Shipwreck shut his beak.

"Okay I think we should all go home now and let Bobby have his little nervous breakdown now," Shipwreck said. Then he and the Misfits teleported away.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE!" Emma screamed. "OH I KNEW YOU PEOPLE WERE LOW CLASS DERANGED MORONS BUT THIS…"

"Bobby I know you're upset…" Jean began.

"OH PUT A SOCK IN IT!" Emma snapped.

"Bobby this isn't like you," Jubilee said.

"Yeah why are you being more of a jerk than usual?" Rogue asked.

"WHO CARES? YOU'RE ALL A GROUP OF INSANE MANIACS!" Emma screamed. "I MEAN HELLO! I'VE BEEN MAULED BY A DRAGON AND VIOLATED BY A PARROT! WHY WOULDN'T I BE UPSET?"

"But why did the animals just attack Bobby like that?" Kitty asked.

"Guys…" Betsy gulped as her telepathy picked up something as Emma's shields slipped. "That's not Bobby…"

"You're damn right I'm not," Emma growled as Bobby's eyes glowed. "I have had it!"

Immediately Emma transformed Bobby's body into an ice form that was twice the size of his usual form. It had large sharp points all over it's back and one hand created a huge ice club while the other created and ice sword. "You've all pushed me around enough today! It's time to give back what I got! In spades!"

"This is not good…" Scott gulped.