Ramblings:
Hey everyone! Sam here! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever. First my little brother messed up my computer, then I lost my floppy, then my little brother messed up the internet connection at my house (with the help of my Uncle Mike), then I got grounded from the computer until I cleaned my room. Well, my room is cleaned and I'm back! U By the way, thanks so much for reviewing! I got ten reviews within the first 3 days! So once again, I'm asking for ten reviews!
Key:QqQqQqQqQq: Switching to Quatre's POV
TtTtTtTt: Trowa's POV
HhHhHh: Heero's POV
DdDdDd: Duo's POV
WwWwWw: Wufei's POV
"Spoken words"
'thoughts'
emphasis
Chapter Four
I wonder how long I've been here. It seems like forever. I look ahead of me. There is a giant chair… a throne, I suppose. I step towards it. Seeing it up close I realize it's for me. Well, Shinigami, but same difference. I also know, though I don't know how, that if I sit down, this will be my realm. I won't be able to leave. I pause… What do I do? Twice I've heard Heero happy that I died, or wanting me to. I decide to sit down. I am almost sitting when…
"You know, that's the kind of relationship I want with Duo," a voice says. Heero's voice. "With one look, I want to be able to tell him every thing will be fine. And even if it's not, I'll always be there to make it better. I want him to be able to tell me. I want to hold him, and know he loves me. I want to be able to open up… to show emotions. I want to go out in public and not be embarrassed when he acts like a complete idiot. I want to be able to pick him up when he's down, make all his hurt go away."
I leap up. Dammit! Why can't my mind quit playing tricks on me! But… what if it isn't my mind? What if that's what Heero's really saying and everything else was my mind? I sigh and sit down. On a floor of blackness, glaring at the throne of Shinigami.
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Quatre is leaning against the wall, Trowa at his side. Wufei is sitting in the middle of the open floor, meditating. The only sound in the entire room is breathing. There is something about the room, the time, the situation in itself, that makes us all want to be quiet, as silent as possible.
The night nurse in charge of Duo's case, Kelly, comes in. "Hey guys. Listen, I'm really sorry, but I just got in trouble with my boss. 'The visiting rules are here for a reason.' You guys need to go. I'm really, really, really sorry."
I look at her. "I can't leave him. I promised him I wouldn't leave. I promised. Kelly, don't make me, please."
She looks at me sympathetically. "I really want you to be able to stay. Let me go get my boss." She hurries out. A moment later, she and another woman come in.
I gasp, seeing Sally Po. "Sally, you're Kelly's boss?"
Sally nods. "You guys are the ones who haven't left?"
I nod. "Please, Sally, don't make me leave. I promised him I wouldn't."
"Heero, you do know he probably won't live."
I shake my head. "I don't care. I told him I'd be here and I won't break that promise. Besides, he will wake up. I have to believe that. And when he does, I don't want him to be alone."
"One," Sally agrees. "One person stays. Everybody else leaves. Sorry, guys, I can't break the rules just because I know you."
Silently, the others get up and follow Sally and Kelly out. I'm overwhelmed by love for my friends. They're like family to me. They know I can't bring myself to leave him.
"Hey, guys," I call before they shut the door. Wufei sticks his head in. "Can you go to my apartment and check on my dog? If you go to the precinct, Alexia will take you to my house, then my landlady should let you in."
Wufei nods and leaves.
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"Check on his dog? What kind of request is that?" I ask, driving down the dark street.
"The dog is probably an escape from a stressful life as a Preventer. He'd feel even worse if Duo and his dog died," Quatre reasons. I shoot him a disapproving look. "We have to face the facts. Duo probably won't live. We need to be able to accept that so we can help Heero." I look away. He's right. It's just hard to think of the bouncy American as dead.
"But there is still hope," Wufei adds. "We can't just write him off as dead."
"I'm not," Quatre protests. "But I'm not going to pretend he's fine either."
"Nobody's saying you are. Just—"
"Guys, cut it out. We're here." We get out and go up to the door. I push the intercom.
"Who's there? Do you know what time it is?"
"My name is Trowa Barton. I'm here with Chang Wufei and Quatre Raberba Winner. We're sorry to bother you, and we do know it's late. We're friends of Heero Yuy's. He wanted us to come check on his dog."
There is a large sigh. "Just a moment, I'll let you in." The door opens, revealing an elderly black woman. "I'm Alice, Heero's landlady. Come in. I'll take you up to his room." We follow her up a couple flights of stairs. "Heero hasn't been back lately. How is he?"
"We don't really know. Our friend is in the hospital and Heero hasn't been talking about much else."
"Your friend…" she thinks. "Not that Maxwell boy!"
"Actually yes. He tried to commit suicide."
"Oh, poor Heero! He always said Duo was his very best friend."
She unlocks and opens a door. A puppy comes tumbling out. Alice stoops down and picks it up. "Have you been waiting for me, Hikari? No. You've been waiting for Heero. Maybe he'll be home soon, hmm?" She carries the puppy inside. She turns when she sees we're still in the hall. "Well come in. Can't check on the puppy out there!" We come into Heero's apartment. It is as neat and organized as I thought it would be. "My German Shepherd had puppies a little while ago. This little girl looks more like her Rottweiler father. Yes, she does."
"Would you mind if we took him back to the hospital with us?"
I stare at Quatre.
"Sally Po, the hospital director, said it would be ok."
"So that's what you two were whispering about."
"Yes. Why? Were you jealous, Trowa?"
I laugh and wrap my arm around him. "Nah. I know you love me."
Wufei shakes his head as Quatre laughs. I love his laugh. It's like tinkling bells.
Alice is looking at us. "As to taking Hikari to the hospital, it's fine with me. It would probably do Heero good."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, youngster. I didn't do anything."
"If you don't mind my asking, why do you care so much about Heero?" Quatre asks.
Alice looks thoughtful. "I don't know. He's like a grandson to me, but I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because my grandkids died in a car accident a few years ago. He's about the age the oldest one was. He's the only boarder I have right now, so we spend a lot of time talking. He's a very interesting boy."
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I'm still sitting here, thinking. Thinking about everything that has happened. Everything. While nothing has changed around me, I feel different. I am nearly positive Heero doesn't want me to die. I think he might even love me… I'm going back. I'm going back and no one can stop me.
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"Heero. Heero…"
The fairly unfamiliar voice of Kelly wakes me up.
"I'm going to take the tube out now. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria in the basement?"
Half asleep, I nod. It does make sense, I guess. Making it to the elevator, I push the button for the basement, which is also the cafeteria. The elevator emits a high ding! and the doors open. Yawning I step out of the elevator and get in line… well, it's not much of a line. I'm the only one standing there. I grab the tray closest to me, and walk to the cashier to pay. Finally, I sit down. Staring at my food, my stomach growled. I hadn't realized I was so hungry! I shovel food into my mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. Suddenly the taste hit me. I quite nearly threw up all the food I'd just stuffed down my throat. I managed to keep it down, though. I eat the rest of the "food," barely. Finished I run back to the elevator to go back to Duo's room to wait. Again.
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I hold the squirming puppy in my arms as we drive back to the hospital. She barks at me, a tiny yapping bark. I laugh. She's so adorable!
"Heero never struck me as a puppy kind of guy," Wufei comments.
"He probably did it to help Alice out. He's that kind of guy. She did say that she's been trying to get him to open up… it just isn't working. Maybe she thought the puppy would help." The puppy bites the finger I was tickling his chin with. "Hey!" She turns her innocent brown eyes, made cuter by the little brown spots he has for eyebrows, on me and my heart melts.
"Quatre, put that thing back on its leash. We're here," Wufei instructs.
"It's a she. And she's not a thing. She's a puppy. And she has a name. It's Hikari," I retort.
"Whatever. Put the leash and collar on 'Hikari' because we're here."
I roll my eyes and put Hikari's leash back on. I put her on the asphalt of the parking lot and start walking in. The puppy runs ahead of me.
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The door opens behind me. I turn in time to fend of the little pink tongue of my puppy. "Hikari!" I exclaim, surprised to see her. "I told you guys to go check on her… not bring her back here."
Quatre shrugs. "Sally said it was ok. And Alice didn't mind. Besides, we figured you could use a pick me up." He looks at me oddly. "Have you eaten anything?"
I roll my eyes. "Trust Quatre to worry about me at a time like this." Seeing the look he's still giving me, I decide to put him at ease. "Yes, Quatre. Kelly made me eat before she left. Sat right in that chair and watched me eat my whole dinner."
Hikari whimpers at me from my arms, licking my face.
"I'm sorry I left you all alone, Hikari. Do you forgive me? "She licks my chin. "Thank you." I scratch behind her ears. After a while, she finds me boring and looks over at Duo. She sniffs his hand. "That's Duo, Hikari. That's the one I told you about. He tried to kill himself. What a baka, huh?"
Wufei looks at me funny. "I thought you were upset."
"I am. And I fully intend to yell at him when he wakes up." 'If he wakes up…'
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I look around. I'm pretty sure this is the direction I came from… Oh, who knows! It's all black! Dammit! What use is this? I'm probably walking in circles! I wish I knew where the hell I'm going…
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Remember, 10 reviews! If I'm in a good mood, I'll settle for 9, maybe even 8, but I'm not often in a good mood! giggles
Sirithgliniel: I do realize and understand that sometimes people are busy with other things and don't have time to review right when they're done reading. It's happened to me before. But there's no reason why they can't come back and review when they have more time. And I do write for myself. I just figured if less than ten people liked this story enough to review, I wouldn't waste time and space on to keep posting. I'm glad you like the story, though. I know what you mean when you say "If you haven't been in this sort of a situation (about to commit suicide because of desperation) you will never be able to comprehend the significance of this statement." I would also like to add, that if you haven't been in a situation like this, you cannot know what it feels like. I'm glad that my story could save your life. It saved mine.
GundamPilot03: I'm glad you like the story enough to review!
Shadowdragon58: I continued for you! By the way, that is the awesome-est name ever!
Amri: Thanks for reading! I don't want to keep you away! I'm glad this inspires someone! I purposefully read stuff just to get inspiration sometimes, and it helps a lot, don't ya think? Just as long as you don't take the author's ideas! glares warningly
Burgandy3721: No, I don't expect you to beg and plead. I expect you to tell me the things you like and don't like and even add suggestions for how to make this story better. But it makes me feel all fuzzy inside when you consider begging and pleading! I do not know as of this moment in time whether or not Duo will die. That was to EVERYBODY. Stop asking me that stuff! Geez! Ok, I'm seriously not mad. And you don't have to stay on my good side. I don't take offense to much, unless you are point blank insulting me. Then I will react. And I'm not going to not update just cuz you made me mad.
Shinigami's Forlorn Angel: Tears aren't really my kind of thing either… AHHHHHHH! No wrath, please, no wrath! I'm updating, I'm updating! Oh… YAY KITTIES!
Elemental Alchemist: No, you can't review 10 times. But it makes me happy that you want to, just to get another chapter out of me! Thank you for the (much needed) luck!
Lemur130: I'm so glad you think it's different! I hate it when you read one story after another and they're all the same! You just made my day!
Mieka: Don't cry! Even though it is a sad story… But it's just going to get sadder… maybe.
Ameki: Please don't kill me! (By the way, my friends get a kick out of that. Now whenever I don't do something they say they will hunt me down and kill me). I'm glad you like the descriptions. It's so nice when someone notices the points very few people pay attention to.
Courtnee: It's a SUICIDE STORY! There's not supposed to be any ACTION! Silly! And I don't want to just do Duo-in-the-black-depths-of-death stuff. This story is supposed to show how everyone gets affected by one person's decision. Ok, I'm done yelling at you. You forgive me, right?
Yazzy: I don't know if I'm going to kill Duo. I like to think I'm not that mean. But I did have this idea… And nobody wants Heero going from "Hn" to "N"
Yami no Youkai: I'm glad you like it!
Wonderful Yami asked about endings. Here is a hint on what's going to happen. I'm going to have two endings. That's all I'm saying. TOODLEOO!