Life Sucks When You're a Teenage Superhero

"Sue it was just a dance club!" Johnny Storm, AKA the Human Torch explained to his sister at the breakfast table. "I only went out to have some fun! How was I supposed to know those goons were gonna try and rob it?"

"Yeah it's not like the kid was drinking or anything," Ben Grimm, the Thing remarked as he sat at the table wearing a huge blue bathrobe. He looked at Johnny. "You weren't drinking were ya?"

"No! But those dumb crooks must have been to think they could beat me!" Johnny grinned. "I toasted them!"

"Along with the dance club," Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman folded her arms and glared at her brother.

"I helped put it out by creating a vacuum," Johnny pointed out. "Nobody got hurt, well except the crooks but they totally deserved it."

"That's not what their lawyers say," Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic pointed out. "You're just lucky they have such outstanding warrants that the judge didn't take their complaint seriously."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault! Besides we got some good press out of the whole thing so there's no problem!" Johnny said.

"There is a problem however," Sue said carefully. "Johnny you know I've been your legal guardian since Mom and Dad died. And as your guardian as well as your sister, I'm a little worried about you."

"Sue I took out six armed creeps and saved a whole ton of people from a burning building," Johnny rolled his eyes. "I think I can take care of myself."

"That's not what I meant! You shouldn't have even been at that dance club in the first place!" Sue said.

"In the first place it was an underage dance club, for kids under 21," Johnny told her. "Second if I hadn't gone the crooks would have robbed the place!"

"Not to mention the owners wouldn't have to check on their fire insurance," Ben quipped.

"Besides I was bored!" Johnny ignored Ben. "Look unlike some people I have a life! I'm not content to spend my nights sitting around watching Cheers reruns on Nick at Nite!"

"And what is that crack supposed to mean?" Ben glared at him. "I happen to like Cheers!"

"So do I," Reed thought. "Personally I think that Diane was much better for Sam than Rebecca."

"Are you nuts?" Ben asked. "Anyone with a brain cell could tell that Becky was a much better match than that uptight snooty Diane Chambers!"

"Boys not this argument again!" Sue groaned. "Please!"

"And you wonder why I need to go out at night?" Johnny asked his sister. "If I didn't get out of the Baxter Building I'd go nuts!"

"Johnny you need more structure in your life," Sue said. "Like any other teenager. That's why I think it's time you went back to school."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Johnny laughed. "Good one, Sue!"

"I'm serious," Sue told him.

"What?" Johnny blinked. "This is a joke right? You can't just make me go to school!"

"Uh, yeah she can," Ben told him.

"There's no discussion about this," Sue looked at him. "You are only seventeen years old and you need your high school diploma. Or at the very least a GED."

"It's only for one semester at the very least," Reed said. "If you apply yourself that is."

"I don't need a diploma!" Johnny said. "Hello? I'm the Human Torch, remember? The boy wonder who can fly and set himself and anything he wants on fire."

"Well maybe its time someone lit a fire under you," Sue folded her arms.

"And where exactly am I supposed to go? It's not like I can just go a couple blocks down to the local high school," Johnny snorted.

"Kid's got a point," Ben agreed. "I mean with all the hoopla people are making about mutants and everything they might not let him in. There's always gonna be some jerks complaining he might burn the school down. Even though he ain't a mutant. Technically."

"We have taken that into consideration," Reed said. "Sue and I have discussed this and we feel that maybe a more… private school would be better suited for you."

"Private school? You mean I'd have to wear some geeky uniform?" Johnny shouted. "You can't be serious!"

"Hey! What's wrong with that? School girls in uniform are hot," Ben said. Sue glared at him. "What? I'm just trying to get the kid excited about learning here!"

"Yeah, well this is not the lesson I'd want him to learn!" Sue snapped. "Besides we've already made the arrangements. While Reed and I are on our honeymoon you'll stay at the school and get your degree."

"And where is this hell hole I'm going to?" Johnny asked. "Come on sis! What school in their right mind would let a human matchstick in their building? Other than…" Realization hit him. "Oh no…No, please don't tell me I am going where I think I'm going! You wouldn't! You couldn't!"

"If you think about it, it's really the most practical solution," Reed said. "I mean the Xavier Institute for Gifted Children is a credited school now."

"The mutant school?" Johnny shouted. "You're sending me to a mutant school? Oh there goes any chance of me having a cool rep!"

"Oh you poor abused child," Ben said sarcastically. "And you were living such a normal peaceful life too."

"Johnny I'm surprised at you," Sue folded her arms. "These kids have powers just like we do. What difference does it make where they came from? And Professor Xavier said he can help you gain control of your powers."

"Okay in the first place I already have control of my powers thank you very much," Johnny snapped. "It's not that I don't have anything against mutants really it's just…Well, come on guys. You know the only reason we're accepted by the public is because we're not mutants. If I go to this school, what are they going to think?"

"I do not believe what I am hearing out of your mouth!" Sue slammed her fist on the table. "Where did you pick up that garbage?"

"Not from me that's for sure," Ben casually read the paper. "Shame, shame on you boy."

"But Sue…" Johnny pleaded.

"No buts! You're going and that's final!" Sue stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

"Hehehehe…" Ben chuckled. "I don't know what I love more. Her sticking it to you, or you getting stuck."

"Shut up Pebble Brain," Johnny grumbled.

"Oh just take your lumps like a man for crying out loud," Ben told him.

"Uh Ben," Reed cleared his throat. "There is one other little thing. You see we kind of also made arrangements for you to go too."

"WHAT? WHY ME? I GOT A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Ben shouted. "I don't need to go to school!"

"Now who needs to take his lumps like a man?" Johnny laughed.

"At least I am a man, kid!" Ben snapped. "Come on Reed! Why do I have to get drafted into this?"

"Well Ben we don't want to leave you alone for so long and it won't be forever," Reed said.

"But you can't seriously expect me to take classes there!" Ben said.

"No, Ben you won't be a student. You'd be a…Substitute teacher," Reed coughed.

"Come again?" Ben blinked.

"A sub? Him?" Johnny pointed at Ben. "He can barely spell, let alone teach!"

"I can spell detention! Which is what you're gonna get…" Ben made a fist then stopped himself. "I can give him detention right? I mean I can do more than just read the paper in class, right?"

"Well it would be up to Xavier to assign you your duties but I guess…" Reed shrugged.

"Oh well in that case when do we leave?" Ben grinned.

"WHAT?" Johnny snapped. "Why does he have to come? I don't need a babysitter!"

"Oh yes you do," Ben told him.

"I told you to shut up!" Johnny whirled on him.

"Make me!" Ben made a fist.

"Oh I'll make you all right!" Johnny flamed on.

"Ooh! I'm so scared!" Ben mocked.

"God! It's like having two children!" Sue threw up her hands as she entered back into the room. "I can hear you down the hall!"

"He started it!" Ben pointed to Johnny.

"Did not!" Johnny snapped.

"DID TOO!" Ben snapped back.

"Sue when do they leave?" Reed moaned.

Next up: What happens when two superheroes attend Mutant High? Find out!