Welcome to Mutant High

"Yesterday was the craziest mission ever," Kurt grumbled as he sat down in the kitchen for lunch. Rogue, Doug, Bobby, Jubilee and Kitty were there as well.

"Even crazier than when we ended up in Mojoworld?" Rogue asked. "And then we ended up in a few other dimensions and met other versions of ourselves?"

"Well technically that wasn't really a mission," Kitty pointed out. "That was just a circumstance we ended up in. Personally I thought the one where we on that living island was weird."

"Not as weird as when we all followed Dracula around on Storm's date," Bobby said.

"Again that was technically not a mission," Kitty said.

"Depends on your point of view," Kurt said.

"I can't believe all the crazy stuff I missed," Jubilee shook her head.

"Missed? Heck, I never even knew about all this stuff!" Doug said.

"Yeah I know," Rogue muttered. "You don't have to rub it in!"

"Oh, did you hear the latest gossip?" Jubilee said.

"Hey! That wasn't me who put all those goldfish in the girl's bathroom!" Kurt shouted.

"Not that," Jubilee said. "We're getting a new student today!"

"Really?" Kitty said. "How do you know?"

"Well I was in the Professor's office last night…Uh, emptying the wastebaskets when the phone rang, so I picked it up. Well Ororo answered it on the other line and was talking to this guy. He said his name was Reese Richardson or something like that and he wanted to see if he could enroll his fiancée's kid brother in the Institute for a bit. And he's coming today!"

"Really? Tell us more" Kitty asked.

"I can't divulge that information," Jubilee folded her arms and looked smug. "It's classified."

"You got caught didn't you?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah…" Jubilee frowned. "Three months on laundry duty? Ugh! I mean Cyclops seriously needs to chill out!"

"Well maybe he thought that punishment was perfect for someone with your fashion sense?" Rogue grinned.

"You think?" Jubilee asked. Then realized Rogue was teasing her. "Hey!"

"I can't believe we're getting a new student," Kitty giggled. "I wonder if he's cute!"

"Oh I'm sure Lance would love to hear that," Pietro remarked as he sped around them.

"Quicksilver what are you doing here?" Rogue groaned.

"Oh just making myself available to all my adoring fans," Pietro grinned.

"Yeah but that doesn't explain why you're here," Rogue glared at him.

"Why is anyone here?" Fred asked as he and the rest of the Misfits walked in. "Why are we all here? What is our purpose in life?"

"To annoy the X-Men, duh!" Arcade said.

"Oh yeah," Fred grinned. "That's it."

"So are you all talking about the new student and the sub you're going to get?" Pietro asked.

"A new sub?" Doug blinked. "We're getting another teacher?"

"How did you know that?" Kitty asked.

"I know everything," Pietro sniffed. "The new X-Geek wannabe is Johnny Storm a.k.a. the Human Torch, member of the Fantastic Four."

"The Human Torch? Wait, he's not a mutant is he?" Kitty asked.

"No, just got himself a lot of cosmic radiation which gave him a serious sunburn," Pietro told her.

"He's not really joining the team," Arcade said. "He's just here to get his high school diploma."

"And how do you guys know this?" Jubilee asked.

"Trinity wiretapped your phone lines," Althea explained.

"I should be shocked but I'm not," Rogue admitted.

"I'm amazed they haven't done it sooner," Kurt said to her.

"So he's not a mutant? That's a bummer," Bobby frowned.

"Still, it'll be kind of neat having an actual celebrity at the school," Kitty thought.

"What do you think we are? Broccoli?" Rogue asked.

"I thought the expression was chopped liver?" Kurt asked.

"You say what you hate to eat and I'll say what I hate to eat," Rogue said.

"I don't like either so I don't have a problem," Todd shrugged.

"I like broccoli and chopped liver," Fred thought. "I like a lot of foods. I'm not really that picky."

"Gee, I never would have guessed," Pietro quipped.

"How do you know so much about the Human Torch?" Kurt asked.

"Oh we met a while back in Washington DC," Pietro sniffed. "You know how these things go, they were in trouble and the Misfits just happened to come along and save their pathetic butts. The usual."

"Wait, you said we were getting a new substitute teacher too," Kitty said. "Who is he?"

"You won't believe this," Lance grinned.

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"Wow, this place looks like Donald Trump's summer cottage," Ben remarked as he took his bags out of the car.

"I can't believe we have to live in this dump," Johnny grumbled. "Reed and Sue didn't even bother to come with us!"

"Hey they had that project they were working on with Tony Stark," Ben told him. "Besides this place might not be so bad."

"AWWK! INVADERS TWELVE O'CLOCK!" A green parrot flew at them. "DIVE! DIVE!"

"Whoa!" Johnny ducked as the parrot narrowly missed his head. "What the…"
"RARRRR!" A small purple dragon flew straight at them. It stopped right in front of them.

"Is that a dragon?" Johnny's jaw dropped.

"Either that or I'm having one heck of a tequila hallucination," Ben blinked.

The dragon sniffed the air around them. Then looked down at Johnny's suitcase. "I think he's checking us out," Johnny said. "Cute little guy."

Then the animal opened it's mouth and set out a stream of fire. Instantly Johnny's suitcase ignited. "HEY! FLAME OUT! OUT!" Johnny tried to use his powers to control the blaze but it only made things worse. "NO! YOU STUPID…"

"Hold on kid!" Ben grabbed the suitcase. "I got it!" He threw it down into theground and jumped up and down on it. "There! That should put it out!"

"Thanks a lot…" Johnny glared at his ruined possessions. Then at the dragon. "You are so dead!"

"Actually I'm dead," A girl with green skin, black hair wearing a pair of Capri pants and a halter-top came out. "Dead Girl's the name. Oh I see you've met Lockheed the Dragon."

"Lockheed the Dragon?" Ben blinked as the beast sniffed him.

"Yeah he's Kitty's pet," Dead Girl said. "He's pretty harmless though."

"YOU CALL THIS HARMLESS!" Johnny pointed to his destroyed luggage.

"You should see what he does to people he doesn't like," Scott sighed as he walked up to them. "I'm Scott Summers. I'm leader of the X-Men and a teacher here."

"You look a little young to be a teacher," Ben blinked.

"Well I did just graduate high school last year," Scott admitted. "But I did take some online teaching classes. Let's just say the Institute needs some help."

"Oh that really fills me with confidence," Johnny grumbled.

"Lockheed? There you are!" Kitty ran out and Lockheed flew into her arms. "Where were you?"

"Destroying my clothes that's where he was!" Johnny snapped.

"Welcome to the club," Scott groaned. "Kitty why don't you show him around while Dead Girl and I get Mr. Grimm settled?"

"Mr. Grimm was my old man," Ben told him. "Just call me Ben or Thing."

"You know your dragon wrecked all my stuff," Johnny told Kitty as she led him inside. Lockheed huffed.

"I'm like really sorry about that," Kitty apologized. "But he gets defensive around people he doesn't know. I mean we do get attacked a lot and…"

"Well I guess I can understand," Johnny flashed a smile. She's pretty cute. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. He thought to himself.

That changed pretty quickly as soon as he walked inside and saw the Misfits.

"Oh no…" Johnny glared at Pietro. "What are you doing here? I thought you guys were in the army!"

"We are," Pietro grinned. "We're just protecting our country from dorks!"

"I take it you know each other?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah the last time we met these guys got in our way and we got into a fight with them!" Johnny said.

"Lies, all lies," Pietro waved.

"I dunno," Rogue said. "Sounds pretty believable to me. I'm Rogue and unfortunately I'm related to this idiot."

"Yeah I read your files," Johnny said. "You're Kurt Wagner a.k.a. Nightcrawler, Jubilation Lee also known as Jubilee, and Bobby Drake a.k.a. Iceboy."

"Ice-man," Bobby frowned.

"Oh," Johnny didn't appear interested. He looked at Doug. "The files didn't mention you."

"I'm new here," Doug said. "Doug Ramsey, Cypher. I can translate any language and crack any code."

"Man what a sucky power," Johnny said.

"Tell me about it," Doug grumbled.

"You have files on us too?" Kurt asked.

"Who doesn't know about you guys?" Johnny said. "You've only been on TV and the Internet half dozen times more than Paris Hilton."

"I hope you weren't watching a couple of days ago," Kitty groaned.

"You mean when you nearly made street pizza out of that jerk Stryker? Why? Ashamed you missed?" Johnny grinned. "He's lucky I wasn't there. I would have barbecued that guy."

"I know someone I'd like to barbecue…" Pietro muttered under his breath.

"Would you settle for a frozen matchstick?" Bobby whispered to him.

"So what's it really like here?" Johnny asked Kitty as he sat down next to her.

"It's not that different from any other school," Kitty shrugged. "Other than the fact our school gets trashed by some bad guy at least once a month."

"Or in most cases by the Misfits twice a week," Rogue glared at Pietro.

"Say Kitty," Lance said quickly. "How about you and I do something later, seeing as you're my girlfriend?"

"Hey I think she might be busy later so back off," Johnny snapped.

"Oh no…" Angelica winced. "Here we go again."

"Well I don't think Kitty will have time for you so maybe…" Lance began.

"Rrrrr…" Lockheed glared at the both of them. He blew smoke in both their faces.

"Hey!" Both Lance and Johnny protested.

"I gotta take care of this," Kitty said picking up Lockheed. "Come on Lockheed, its time for your walk. I'll see you around Johnny. Lance we'll talk later." She went off.

"Nice girl, despite her freaky pet," Johnny said.

"Who are you calling a freak?" Lance snapped.

"Hey! I got these powers by accident," Johnny growled. "Something you should know all about!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Lance shouted.

"Oh I know exactly what he means," Pietro's eyes narrowed. "He thinks he's better than us because he's human who just happened to luck into powers!"

"Don't put words in my mouth!" Johnny snapped.

"I didn't have to," Pietro said. "I saw that look you gave us!"

"Yeah he's given it to us several times to recognize it," Bobby quipped.

"Should we do something?" Angelica asked the other Misfits.

"Yeah, we should get some bets going," Fred remarked.

"Ah Mr. Storm," Ororo walked up to them. "I'm Ororo Monroe."

"Storm, meet Storm," Pietro quipped.

"Pietro shouldn't you and the Misfits go to your own classes at your base?" Ororo looked at him. "As I was saying Johnny we need to evaluate your powers. Why don't you follow me to the Danger Room and the rest of you get ready for your next class?"

"Fine," Johnny got up and made a cocky salute with two of his fingers. "Later." He walked off with her.

"That guy has got an attitude!" Pietro growled.

"Said the pot to the kettle," Bobby remarked. "But for once I agree with you."

"Is it me or was he a little too friendly with Kitty?" Lance growled.

"Oh get over yourself, Lance," Wanda rolled her eyes.

"I tell you one thing I can't wait to find out how he did in the Danger Room," Rogue said.

"Gentlemen I think we should give our new guest a warm welcome," Pietro grinned. "Or maybe a cold one?"

"Since when is this place your home?" Kurt asked.

"Let it go dude," Bobby said. He turned to Pietro. "We're listening."

"Oh dear," Lina blinked. "This is not going to end well is it?"

"This should be good," Fred chuckled.

"I think I'm going to enjoy playing with our new friend," Althea grinned.

"Can't you just feel the love?" Todd snickered.

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Later that day Hank was showing Ben to his first class. "This class is Mutant History," Hank explained. "All the students have to take this class so both teams are integrated in it."

"Wait, Mutant History? Mutants have a history now?" Ben blinked. "I thought you guys just showed up inNew Yorkone day?"

"Well we study events and time periods surrounding the actions of certain mutants," Hank admitted. "Like for Apocalypse we studied Ancient Egypt, the Cold War for the super soldier programs…You get the picture. I admit it's a bit of a stretch but it is fascinating. We also have the students study a lot of current events and how they relate to mutants."

"Uh, I gotta confess to ya Beast," Ben rubbed his head nervously. "I ain't exactly what you call the scholarly type. I mean I ain't never taught a class before. I'm kinda nervous here."

"Ben," Hank gave him a grin. "The man you are replacing used to use our textbooks for target practice, got in fistfights with the instructors and used to assign reading the racing forms as homework. I'm afraid I have a confession to make as well. The bar is set pretty low around here. So low an ant could do the limbo under it if you get my drift."

"Whoa," Ben blinked. "Well that kinda makes me feel better."

"Don't worry," Hank told him. "Most of them are good kids." He opened the door to find the kids goofing off and talking. Tabitha was dancing on a table. Jesse was sleeping. Tim was making paper airplanes then using a little of his powers to set them on fire. Kurt and Sam were throwing a football around. Sam slipped and his powers activated, making him collide into the wall with a loud thud.

"Well most of the time," Hank sighed. "All right people take your seats before you cause any more damage to the walls." The students did so.

Except for Sam who was stuck in the wall. "Somebody help Cannonball out of the wall please?" Hank sighed."Now this is Mr. Grimm, he'll be your sub for the next month or so. By then we'll probably be able to convince Mr. Logan to give it a try again without slicing up the desks. So behave yourselves! Please! They're all yours."

"Thanks a lot," Ben grumbled as Hank left the room. "All right youse guys. The names Mr. Grimm better known as the Thing. Lemmie take attendance first."

"We're all here," Tabitha said. "Like we've got somewhere else to go."

"If you haven't heard by now we've been officially banned from nearly every public place in town," Bobby said. "So if you do leave campus don't be surprised if people start screaming and throwing stuff at you."

"Oh well there's a happy piece of news," Ben groaned.

"Hey where's Mr. Hot Stuff?" Ray asked. "You know that new kid that came with you."

"The Professor is evaluating him in the Danger Room," Kitty said.

"Oh man…" Ray chuckled.

"Dead man walking," Roberto snickered.

"What?" Ben asked.

"Let's just say there's a reason it's called the Danger Room," Rahne snickered.

"I'm loving this place more and more," Ben sighed. "Well here's a seating chart and you're all here…" He looked at Sam who slumped in his seat rather dazed. "More or less. Okay let me see the notes Mr. McCoy left for this class," He picked up a whole stack of papers. "Thorough ain't he?"

"You should see what he writes for the classes he really likes," Roberto said.

"Okay the next thing we should do…" Ben began when he noticed Jesse was still asleep. He started to stalk over to his desk holding a book.

"Uh, Mr. Grimm?" Kitty gulped.

WHAM! Ben hit the book hard on Jesse's desk.

"AAHHH!" Jesse shot up. And immediately every electrical appliance in the room including the light bulbs exploded or shorted out.

"Duck and cover!" Ray shouted as the students hid under their desks.

"What the…?" Ben covered his face until the explosions stopped.

"Uh, Mr. Grimm," Kitty gulped. "I tried to tell you, don't ever scare Jesse. Things explode when that happens."

"Sorry," Jesse gulped very nervously. "I have trouble controlling my powers."

"Okay…My fault there," Ben sighed as he went back to his desk. "It's not like there was a note or anything telling me…" He looked at the notes. "Oh wait, yes there was. Item number five. Maybe I should read this thing. And you should all just read your books. Well at least it's sunny out…So we can read by…sunlight?"

Just then it started to cloud up and lightning flashed. "Oh boy," Ray said. "Shipwreck must still be here."

"Who's Shipwreck? Did he do this?" Ben asked.

"Indirectly," Jubilee told him.

"See he's Wavedancer's dad," Rahne said. "And he's a blinking loon to boot."

"Is he a mutant?" Ben asked.

"No," Sam said. "But he does have the power to annoy Storm. That's Ms. Monroe's code name. She's the one making it rain."

A crack of lightning made Ben flinch. "Okay, remind me not to get on that lady's bad side," He gulped. "Maybe we should just have a discussion instead?"

"Okay," Tabitha said. "Now tell us everything about Johnny boy? For starters what's his favorite color?"

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Amara asked.

"What kind of music does he like?" Jubilee asked.

"I meant we should discuss current events!" Ben told them.

"This is current," Tabitha said. "So does he have a girlfriend or not?"

"Tabby!" Sam snapped.

"I'm asking for Amara here," Tabitha said. "For crying out loud I'm not Kitty!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Kitty snapped.

"You know what it means!" Peter snapped.

"Hey you're the one who broke up with me!" Kitty shouted at him.

"Yes because I was tired of sharing you with Avalanche!" Peter snapped.

"Say what?" Ben asked.

"Kitty, Peter and Lance of the Misfits have had this stupid love triangle for a long time," Rogue told him. "Finally Peter got fed up with it all and quite frankly I don't blame him! Nobody likes getting jerked around!" She glared at Remy.

"Why you looking at Remy for?" Remy snapped.

"Hey she's not the one who was engaged to an assassin dude," Ray said.

"For the last time," Remy growled. "It was an arranged marriage! And I left her!"

"Only after you killed her brother at the wedding," Ray said.

"In self defense!" Remy snapped. "It's not like I flirted with other girls when I was with someone, Ray!"

"Who are you kidding? You do it all the time!" Rogue snapped. "You even tried to flirt with Storm once."

CRACK!

"Once…" Remy winced. "Oh boy…There goes another tree."

"Wonder what Shipwreck did this time?" Paige asked.

"I dunno, but it must have been good!" Dead Girl grinned.

"And this is a good class huh?" Ben groaned. "Is there anything else I should know around here?"

"Yeah never eat Kitty's cooking," Bobby called out. "Your skin may be hard as a rock but I doubt your stomach is!"

"Bobby likes to make snow in your room!" Kitty snapped.

"Watch your back in the shower in case Trinity comes calling!" Jamie said. "They're the Misfit triplets. They like to strip boys!"

"Stay away from Forge's inventions unless you wanna be shrunk, transported into another dimension or blown up," Tabitha said.

"Be careful of Boom Boom here because she likes to blow people up!" Ray pointed.

"We get a lot of lawsuits," Sam said. "Lots of lawsuits."

"Sometimes Trinity uses their inventions to blow people up, wreck things, or try to strip you!" Jamie shouted.

"People sometimes attack us for no reason so expect explosions at any time," Roberto said.

"And sometimes Trinity…" Jamie said.

"I GET THE MESSAGE!" Ben shouted.

BOOM! CRASH!

"YEOWWWWWWWW!"

"And so did Shipwreck," Rogue remarked as she heard the scream.

"Maybe we should get back to the whole Kitty-Pete-and What's His Name thing?" Ben sighed. "I guess I can relate to that."

"Why? Do you have a girlfriend?" Tabitha asked.

"No, yes…" Ben sighed. "Look I don't really wanna talk about it now."

"Aw come on," Kitty said. "It might help."

"No, we are not talking about my love life!" Ben snapped.

Twenty minutes later…

"Why oh why did I let her leave me?" Ben sobbed. "Alicia was the only one who accepted me for who I was!"

"There, there…" Jamie patted Ben's back. "Let it out."

"Oh Alicia…" Ben sobbed.

"Boy the quality of education in this country is really going downhill isn't it?" Tabitha snickered.