First Full Day of Insanity

"All right I don't know how you guys did this but you are really gonna get it!" Logan snapped. "How could you guys make The Thing have a nervous breakdown in class? On his first day?" He glared at the students in the classroom.

"Technically it was an emotional breakdown," Remy pointed out. "He's very depressed over his love life."

"Well I don't…" Logan began and stopped. "He has a love life?"

"Not really," Remy shrugged. "That's what he's depressed about."

"I see," Logan sighed. "Well whatever you did he's now in the Infirmary crying his eyes out!" Several students were snickering. "It's not funny! Okay maybe it's a little funny, but still…"

"We don't really know how it happened," Jubilee said. "One minute we were talking about history stuff and then we kind of went off topic."

"Obviously!" Logan snapped.

"Actually we weren't talking about history stuff," Jamie admitted. "We were warning him."

"About what?" Logan asked.

"Trinity, Forge's inventions, Kitty's cooking…" Jamie went on.

"Ah another piece of the puzzle…" Logan sighed. "No wonder he had a breakdown."

"Actually I think he' s just a little depressed," Tabitha said. "Nothing a change of scenery can't cure."

"He'll certainly get that around here," Rahne said.

"So how did The Human Matchstick do in his Danger Room session?" Bobby asked.

"Well…." Logan thought for a moment.

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Earlier that day:

"YEOW! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?" Johnny screamed. "WHO USES BUZZSAWS IN A SIMULATION! AGGGH! LASERS! WATCH OUT FOR THE LASERS! OH NOW I KNOW THAT CAN'T BE A REAL ALIGATOR! AGGGHHH!"

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"There were a few problems," Logan admitted. "For some reason the Danger Room automatically went up to the highest level."

"Really?" Bobby whistled. "Imagine that."

"You mean it went all the way up to Level 30?" Kitty gasped. "And he survived?"

"Barely…" Logan sighed. "But his wounds aren't that bad. He's also in the infirmary."

"Even you and I have trouble with that level," Rina said.

"I know…" Logan sighed. "Look we have enough problems with recruitment and trying to have some kind of reputation other than what we have right now. So do us all a favor and cool it with the insanity huh?"

"Not a chance…" Bobby grinned to himself as Logan left the room.

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"Sue I am telling you this place is crazy!" Johnny spoke into his cell phone. "I've only been here one afternoon and they've already driven Ben nuts and set my suitcase on fire! No it was a dragon. You heard me. A dragon. He set my suitcase on fire. And then this crazy parrot dive-bombed me. Actually the parrot dive-bombed me first, then the dragon set my suitcase on fire. Oh please I can make up way better excuses than that! And another thing those Misfits are here too. Apparently they come over every day to cause fights and get this; the teachers here actually encourage them! I am not exaggerating! "

"Man what a crybaby…" Jamie muttered as he listened in from the other room. He had a listening device on his head. "I mean he gets his own room in the basement levels. What does he have to complain about?"

"What's he saying?" Bobby asked. He, Ray, Roberto and Kurt were in the room as well.

"He's trying to get out of staying here," Jamie told him.

"How come he gets the listening device?" Ray hissed.

"Because Trinity made it for me!" Jamie told him. "Now shut up! I'm trying to hear this!"

"Sue I know we get into fights with people like Dr. Doom and the Puppet Master and stuff but these guys make them look like they're normal! Oh yeah, did you know one of them is actually a zombie? A real zombie?" Johnny asked. "Oh and get this, you know where they assigned me? The beginner class! I'm in a group called the New Mutants! Can you believe it? Sue, I'm a freaking professional crime fighter and I'm being treated like a rookie? Give me a break!"

"I'd love to!" Bobby said as Jamie relayed the message.

"They got this torture chamber see, they call it the Danger Room…" Johnny began. "I was nearly killed in there! And don't get me started on some of the other kids that go here!"

"Anything about us?" Kurt asked.

"He's just getting started," Jamie said. "You guys wanna detonate that shaving cream bomb that Quicksilver gave us?"

"Good idea," Bobby grinned as he pushed a detonator. "I wonder what color the dye he put in it is?"

"He said it would be a surprise," Roberto explained.

BOOM!

"AAAHHHHH!" Johnny screamed and ran out of the room.

"Well it certainly is," Bobby snickered.

"SUE GET ME OUT OF THIS NUTHOUSE!" Johnny shouted.

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"I can't believe you guys didn't get caught!" Rogue hissed to Kurt as the students went to their Mutant History class the following day. "How did you do it?"

"Easy, we blamed it on the Misfits," Kurt said. "They fell for it hook, line and sinker."

"Technically it was the truth," Roberto grinned.

"And didn't the Professor or Jean pick up on that?" Rogue asked.

"They were too busy getting Mr. Grimm to calm down," Ray grinned.

"Why are you so mean to him?" Kitty snapped.

"Hey we didn't mean to make Mr. Grimm cry," Jamie said.

"Not him! I meant Johnny!" Kitty snapped.

"Oh come on Kitty, the guy needs to seriously chill out!" Bobby said. "Didn't you hear him the other day? He thinks he's better than the rest of us because he's not a mutant!"

"He does not!" Jubilee said.

"He does too!" Bobby snapped.

"Bobby Drake you are the most immature person I have ever met!" Jubilee glared at him. "Can't you try to be nicer to him?"

Johnny walked in wearing jeans, a black T-shirt and multi colored hair. "Love the new look!" Bobby called out. Jubilee hit him on the arm. "What? I said something nice!"

"Shut up popsicle breath!" Johnny snapped.

"Come on it doesn't look that bad," Jubilee went over to Johnny.

"Yeah you should try having blue fur sometime," Kurt called out.

"Good morning class," Ben seemed cheerful as he walked in. "Before we start I want to apologize for my little outburst the other day. I know I kinda flew off the handle a bit…I'm much better now. So how about we start with Chapter five? You wanna take it from the top Rainbow Brite?"

"Ben so help me…" Johnny growled.

"It's Mr. Grimm in class," Ben grinned. "Remember you must respect your teacher!"

"You are loving this aren't you?" Johnny growled.

"Oh yeah," Ben grinned. "Now first thing we gotta do…" Suddenly the ground began to shake. "What the…?" The windows shattered. "I am not cleaning that up!"

"Is that Avalanche?" Peter shouted.

"No! I think it's coming below us!" Rogue shouted.

"Look out the window!" Jamie pointed. A huge mound of earth was spewing from outside. It turned out that a strange drill like machine was overturning the earth.

"NOW WHAT?" Johnny shouted. The most of the class jumped through the windows (they were on the ground floor) and went outside. Ben was too big so he just looked out the window.

The machine stopped and a small compartment opened up. Mole Man peeked out. "Man! I'd forgotten how bright the sun is! I should have packed my sunscreen!"

"Mole Man!" Bobby shouted.

"What are you doing here?" Johnny asked.

"You know this guy?" Both Bobby and Johnny said at the same time.

"Oh great! Just what I need! The Fantastic Fools here to ruin my life again!" Mole Man snapped.

"I guess it was too much to hope for that you'd stay in that hole in the ground!" Johnny activated his powers. "FLAME ON!"

"You wanna play it like that?" Mole Man readied his staff. "Bring it on!"

"HOLD IT!" Scott ran out with several more X-Men. "For once can we not get into a huge unnecessary fight that causes more property damage?"

"Spoilsport…" Ben grumbled.

"You sure know how to take the fun out of things," Mole Man grumbled.

"Could you please explain why you're here?" Scott asked Mole Man. "Last time we saw you, you never wanted to see us again!"

"I still don't but I need your help," Mole Man said. "One of my babies accidentally made her way to the surface! Some miners broke through to her pen and now she's loose!"

"Babies?" Logan asked. "Exactly what kind of baby are we talking about?"

"A Grimork," Mole Man said.

"What the heck's a Grimork?" Ben asked.

"Oh just your usual subterranean beast of burden," Mole Man said. "Kind of a cross between a dog and a wooly mammoth. They're used as pets mostly. It's not that hard to miss. Three horns, large shaggy brown coat, four large feet…"

"It's only four feet tall?" Bobby asked.

"No it has four feet," Mole Man corrected him. "It's about thirteen feet tall."

"Thirteen feet tall?" Jubilee gasped.

"Well it is only a baby," Mole Man said. "Normally they're about twenty feet."

"Oh that's a lucky break," Scott groaned. "Come on we'd better get ready to go."

"You aren't seriously going to help this freak are you?" Johnny asked.

"Listen genius, his pet is probably gonna cause a lot of trouble and folks could get hurt!" Ben snapped. "If nothing else we gotta protect this town."

"Yeah but who's gonna protect us?" Johnny grumbled.

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Twenty minutes later…

"Of course it's running amok in downtown Bayville!" Bobby groaned as he dodged a blast of fire. "Where else would a fire breathing monster go?"

"Oh yeah," Mole Man said where he was hiding. "I guess I forgot about that part huh?"

"You think?" Logan snapped as he dodged a flame blast. He wrinkled his nose. "And I could have used some advanced warning on the smell too!"

"Oh dear…" Mole Man noticed. "They do make a mess don't they?"

"Yeah and all over the mayor's car…" Jean winced. She tried to stop the creature by using her telekinesis. "This thing is heavier than it looks!"

"Yeah and it looks like it ate a blue whale for lunch!" Bobby shot some ice at the creature. "Aggh! Forgot! Fire melts ice!"

"Don't hurt my baby!" Mole Man pleaded.

"For crying out loud," Ben grumbled as he leapt onto the Grimork's back. "This ain't exactly a hamster we're trying to corral here! Whoa!" He tried to hang on but he was flung right into a wall. "Ow…"

Scott shot his eye beams right in front of the creature, causing it to startle. "Keep shooting at its feet! Maybe we can get it to control where it goes!"

"Yeah!" Jubilee and Tabitha shot out their powers.

CRASH!

"We did control where it went," Jubilee winced. "Right into a china shop."

CRASH!

"And an antique store…" Jubilee added.

CRASH!

"Well there were too many nail places in town anyway," Tabitha said.

CRASH! PLUNK! PLUNK!

"And it's not like a lot of people buy organ pianos nowadays," Jubilee added.

"Is there anything that can stop this thing?" Scott yelled at Mole Man.

"There is," Mole Man took out his whistle. "However it doesn't have very good hearing. You need to get close to it."

"Why the hell didn't you give this to us in the first place?" Logan roared as he took the whistle. "Colossus! Fastball Special! Now!"

Peter grabbed Logan and threw him towards the creature. Logan blew on the whistle when he was close enough. The Grimork stopped in its tracks but Logan kept going. He collided right into Ben who had just gotten down from the wall. "Ow…"

Jean used all her concentration and power to lift the Grimork. "I can't hold this thing much longer!"

"Don't worry! You don't!" Mole Man pressed a button on his staff. Suddenly the ground rumbled beneath them. Another drill machine made a huge hole in the street and then backed down. "Just drop her right in!"

"I'm trying…" Jean grunted. However her hold slipped and the creature fell to the ground. "Damn! I missed!"

"No, but you knocked it out cold," Kitty said as she looked at the creature.

"Again you couldn't have done that before?" Logan held his head.

"My poor baby!" Mole Man cried out.

"My aching back…" Ben groaned.

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"You people have a lot of weird friends you know that?" Johnny snapped as he, Ben and the X-Men returned to the mansion.

"Shut up Johnny," Bobby snapped. "You know the guy too!"

"Yeah but we're not on a first name basis or anything!" Johnny snapped.

"I take it that things did not go well," Xavier wheeled out to meet them. "Judging by all the calls I received from the citizens of Bayville."

"Let me guess, another lawsuit?" Scott groaned.

"Seven actually…" Xavier sighed. "The good news is three of them are willing to settle."

"As long as we pay through the nose, am I right?" Logan guessed.

"We didn't do anything but stop it and they're still blaming us!" Kitty groaned. "Like we're the ones who set the monster loose in the first place!"

"It's not like we haven't done thatbefore," Kurt admitted.

"Look at the bright side," Bobby said. "At least it got us out of class."

"I hate this place…" Johnny grumbled. "I freaking hate this place!"

"I dunno…" Ben shrugged. "It's got its good points. At least it's not dull."

Next: A horrible tragedy beyond anyone's imagination occurs: Kitty wins another contest! God help us all…