Caitlin, Katerina, Kyleigh, Heather, Puneet, or any other people involved in this story are not fabrications. They are real people, and none of them own Inu Yasha.
Every double space is a new writer of the story.
---
"I love Inu Yasha. He should have his own TV show," said Kyleigh happily one day.
"Oh geez, not Inu Yasha again," moaned Caitlin. She had known that Kyleigh was absolutely in love with Inu Yasha since she talked about nothing else for the entire lunch period. Which, in all honesty, wasn't long at all.
She took out a piece of paper and a pencil, and quickly drew down a picture of an Inu Yasha with a crown.
"There? Is that the object of your affections?"
Gasping, Kyleigh said, "Yes! It is!" she took out her own pencil and gave him wings.
Katerina said, "Wait!" brandishing her pencil, she gave Caitlin's Inu Yasha a big gun.
"That... Is so great," Caitlin said, bursting out laughing.
"Yeah! We should make a story for him!" Katerina provided, getting out another sheet of paper.
Thus began the devolvement of Rumiko Takahashi's latest work.
The Adventures of King Inu Yasha
---
Once upon a time there was a King named Inu Yasha. He was a happy king with wings, a crown, and an AK-47.
One day, he was walking in the woods. He was shooting innocent bunnies with his AK-47. Then the unspeakable happened!
His brother Sesshomaru came with his wife Heather.
"Heather, Kill Inuyasha." So his wife Heather killed King Inu Yasha.
But then something miraculous happened! He came back to life because a girl named Kyleigh found his dead carcass and put some of her life energy into him by making out with him. She then killed Sesshomaru and almost killed Heather. But alas she escaped and said, "I'll be back!"
Sesshomaru, being the demon that he was, didn't really die. Picking up Inu-Yasha's AK-47, he began to shoot anything that moved. What moved at the moment was the slightly stupid innocent bunnies
who were cross-eyed and were trying to use the grass as weed.
Meanwhile, when Kyleigh was done "transferring her life energy" into Inu Yasha (in other words, making out with him) he woke up. The first thing he said was, "Wow, you're much hotter than Kagome or Kikyou! Can I squeeze your chest?"
Kyleigh then smacked his face, gently (is that even possible?) and Inu Yasha started to cry.
"Please don't cry... I didn't mean to hit you so hard..."
Inu Yasha instantly stopped crying, "So can I touch them at least?"
"NO!" Kyleigh turned her back. Just then Kikyou and Kagome appeared. "Oh shit," sighed Inu Yasha.
"Why are we together?" asked Kagome to Kikyou, "Don't we hate each other?"
"I thought so," said Kikyou.
"Hey look! Somebody's all over our beloved King InuYasha!"
"Let's kill her!"
"I won't let you, you stupid BS! She's ten times hotter than both of you put together!" Just then, peace making godess named Caitlin showed up.
"Stop this meaningless fighting! Let us all make peace and be friends," said Peacemaker Caitlin, "OR ELSE I'LL SMOKE YOUR ASSES!" Caitlin's expression turned calm again, "Okay everyone?" She then puts on her cheap smile.
They were all mildly disturbed by Caitlin, who began to take branches off threes and stab them into the ground in the shape of a smiley face. When she was done she began whacking Sesshomaru with the sticks that weren't used.
Caitlin tapped is head with the stick and his head gently rolled off. Then he shouted, "YOU B! YOU KNOCKED OFF MY HEAD!" He quickly pulled out the sticks that were shaped like a smiley face and turned them into a SAD face (Oh no!). Caitlin then said, "YOU #&$ #$! # !$# 1$#$#$!" Then Pikachu came out of nowhere and started shouting "Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamtaro! Hamta-" All of a sudden Sailor Moon came and shot him with a flame thrower. Then they all had pie (Yay!).
Kikyou and Kagome both said, "That was random."
"No shit sherlock," Kyleigh said.
"Oh yeah? We should both kill you for being so spoiled and all over our beloved King Inu Yasha," said Kagome.
"Try your worst," was Kyleigh's response.
Kikyou and Kagome both took out their bows and arrows.
Unfortunately, when Pikachu had come out of nowhere he had shocked Kagome and Kikyou's bows so they disintegrated when thy picked them up.
"NOES!" screamed Kikyou, "MY PRETTY BOW! YOU RUINED IT!"
Rushing towards Kyleigh with burning hatred she
Tripped and fell flat on her face.
Then Kagome said, "Kikyou's smart. I should do that too." (smiley face)
So Kagome ran towards Kyleigh with her strange, baboon-like battle cry that somehow implyed that she had great hatred for Kyleigh she tripped and fell flat on her face.
Staring at the strange happenings, Inu Yasha kicked the two incarnations of each other. "Wheeee" said Kagome while getting kicked, "Fuuuun..."
"Inu Yasha... I thought you loved me!" said Kikyou.
"No. HAHA. I changed my mind!"
"That's not what you said last night!"
"Be quiet about that!"
"Wait, What about what you said before about last night?" Kagome asked.
"OOOOO-KAY!" screamed Caitlin, you hadn't forgotten about her, had you? "Let's not talk about that!"
"But!" protested Kikyou, wanted desprately to shove in Kagome's ugly face that Inu Yasha loved her.
"Don't you say a word," said Caitlin, eyes boiling with rage, "Or I'll kill all of you! And the bunnies!"
Then, a random person named Katerina showed up.
She was screaming that Caitlin could not kill the bunnies.
She was crazy, but really, really hot.
Suddenly, Caitlin remembered somthing. Hurrying back to her now crushed smiley face, she picked up Sesshy's head.
"NOES!" I killed Sesshy!" she said sadly.
"D YOU!" He said, still angry at his death.
"Wait," said Katerina, "Why don't you just put his head back on his body."
"Because," said Sesshomaru, rolling his eyes, "that would totally destroy the irony of it, DUH!"
"Well then, why are you still talking to us?"
"Well, why are you asking? I mean if you don't want me to talk to you, why did you start up this conversation? Are you freaking stupid? I mean, it's only logic! You're a dumbass! I mean why would you start a conversation with me if you don't think I should be-"
Katerina then shot him with her nuclear rocket launcher and blows up the world because she forgot to change it from "Automatic repeated fire" for "Manual fire."
Yet every single person survives somehow, watching the world get nuked form a special shield bubble thingy and continued the strange quarrel they had begun.
"KATERINA!" yelled Peacemaker Caitlin angrily, "YOU BLEW UP THE WORLD! MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU BLEW UP THE BUNNIES!"
Unknowingly Katerina had merely done that to blow up Sesshomaru's body, his head was still being held by Caitlin.
Katerina's brain couldn't comprehend what had happened. She had blown up the world to get Sesshomaru and instead had ended up killing the bunnies who provided her with the grass weed...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHH! NO NO NO! HAHAHA." Katerina had officially lost her sanity. "Happy place, Happy place. Bunnies! ...Weed... BUNNIES! Ahh ha ha hA HA HA HA! I'm going to take over the world!"
"No," said Sesshomaru, "My wife."
All of a sudden Puneet, a magic fairy brought Heather back to life for Sesshomaru and gave everyone else one wish. Kyleigh wished for Heather to be a bunny. Caitlin wished for more bunnies, Kagome and Kikyou wished each other dead at the same time so... Katerina wished for socks.
"Yays!" said Caitlin happily now that her bunnies were back in the magic bubble thingy, "I love bunnies!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a giant purple comet
that the bubble thingy couldn't protect them from. That's right. It could protect them against nuclear weapons but not a comet that was, in reality, the size of a golf ball.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA FING DIE!"
"Um, Katerina, it's the SIZE OF A GOLF BALL," said Caitlin, thinking very logically.
"Yeah! That shit can't beat this!" said Inu Yasha.
The comet went through the bubble and hit Katerina's forehead. Fortunately, the bubble slowed it down so Katerina hardly felt it. But in her mind...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Katerina let out a high-pitched scream, "I'M DYING! AHHHH!"
"It bearly hit you!" yelled Kyleigh. But alas Katerina had now completely lost it.
Then, Heather the bunny jumped up and began clawing at Katerina's forehead in an attempt to snap her out of it. "HELP!" she screamed, "I'M GONNA DIE!"
Katerina took the fetal position and sobbed. Then she snapped out of it. She realized that she couldn't die yet, so she decided not to.
"That's right: Katerina said with a calm, sane expression, "I STILL HAVE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Her expression then turned crazy and savage. "AHAHAHAHA! BEWARE! FEAR ME AND MY DEADLY..." everyone listened intently, hanging onto her every word, "SOCKS OF DOOM! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh yeah, she's lost it, " said Kyleigh.
Katerina then pushed the secret button.
Which turned all the bunnies into black flies. Caitlin's expression fell instantly, "The... Bunnies... My...Bunnies..." She then produced swords from absolutly nowhere.
"Hey," said Inu Yasha, "I want a sword like that.
It's not like I don't already have a sword with the almighty backflash wave or anything," then, out of the blue, he started smiling. "Oh yeah, I do have one." He stabbed...
...Himself. Accidentally of course, but nonetheless he still stabbed himself with the rusty version of the Tetsusaiga.
"OW," he screamed, "MY EYEBALL! IT BURNS!" Inu Yasha proceeded to run around in circles helplessly.
"OH NOES!" said Kagome and Kikyou at the same time, reviving from death yet again, "OUR BELOVED KING INU YASHA!"
Then the blackflies flew around their heads.
Suddenly, a shadow appeared from up in the trees. It was
Naraku.
And he was wearing glasses. And a pocket protector on his traditional Japanese garb.
"Hi," said Kagome.
"Greetings. You are a very attractive species."
"Huh?"
"He's got the hots for you," explained Caitlin.
"Oooooh," said Kagome flirtatiously, "he's smart too!"
"f(x)342 times the square root of a squared + b squared which indeed equals c squared. Therefore emc sqared."
"Wow!" exclaimed Kagome, "You're amazing! There's never enough nerds in this era. I love nerds though! And Inu Yasha's not a nerd, so I don't know why I liked him. I guess that's why I'm a straight-F student. And I'm so unpopular and hared because I like nerds, but I'm nor cool enough or smart enough for them! But I have found me a sexy nerd!"
"If that's sexy, what's ugly?" asked Katerina.
"Inu Yasha?" provided Caitlin, who immediately received glares from Inu Yasha, Kagome, Kikyou, and Kyleigh.
"Ah," said Naraku, still up in the tree, "This woman can see true beauty." He gestured to Kagome, who was giggling madly, obviously happy to be wooed by a complete nerd.
---
Now, the apologies.
I'm sorry to all of you people that see Inu Yasha as a fine, upstanding individual. I'm sorry to those of you who think Inu Yasha should be with either Kikyou or Kagome. I'm sorry to the left-wingers who were mentally scarred by the blowing up of the earth, and who knows what else. I'm sorry that we are geek-bashing, and making fun of the world in general. I'm sorry that the bunnies are so prone to death and smoking weed. I'm also sorry for stopping this, to all of you who laughed like we did while making it, at an extremely awkward place. Also, I'm sorry for anything else you were offended by, and for the inconsistencies with character deaths. Over and over and over.
Lastly, I'm sorry to Rumiko Takahashi, for the total inhalation of a perfectly good manga and anime. I don't think I personally will ever see a single character in the same way again.