Family Insanity
Two days after the fiasco with Glory and the Fantastic Four another series of events began in the most innocent of ways. With a phone call.
"Who called Jubilee?" Logan asked Xavier. Rina was with him and Jubilee in Xavier's office.
"My Aunt Hope," Jubilee said. "She wants to visit me."
"I didn't know you had an aunt," Logan said.
"Apparently my aunt had a big blow out with my parents years ago," Jubilee said. "I haven't seen her since I was a baby."
"She's not gonna try and take you out of the Institute again is she?" Rina frowned.
"No, she's not asking for custody or anything like that," Jubilee shook her head. "She just wants to see me. I think she kind of knows that this is the best place for me but she wants to be in my life again. And to be honest so do I. Logan you and X are my family now. And you guys always will be. But this is a chance for me to connect with…You know…My old family. And it's only for a few weeks."
"Few weeks?" Logan asked.
"She's staying in town on business for aday and wants to visit me," Jubilee said. "And maybe later in the summer I'd visit her. I mean I'd put her up here but she said she didn't want to intrude. And to be honest I didn't really press her that hard. I mean…come on, X-Men and visitors? So not a good combination."
"I can understand you wanting to connect with a blood relative," Rina admitted.
"Well the background check Charles ran on her seems okay," Logan sighed. "And I guess it couldn't hurt you to know your family for a while."
"And she doesn't even seem to mind mutants," Jubilee said. "She even suggested we all get together for dinner one night and…"
"HEY GUYS! WE'RE ON TV AGAIN!" Jamie stuck his head in and shouted. "And there's a ton of reporters outside! And a lot of people with signs and stuff!"
"Oh lord what did we do now?" Logan groaned as they followed Jamie to the living room, where every X-Man in the house was parked in front of the TV.
"What the heck is going on?" Jubilee asked. "Why are there so many reporters and protestors outside this time?"
"Is it more fallout from Mole Man's pet or more fanatical Glory supporters?" Logan asked. "Personally I'm hoping for the former. I can't take getting sprayed with more perfume!"
"I'm afraid it's our fault," Jesse D sighed. He was there with Kitty's parents and Donald. Kitty was between her mother and father.
"Your fault?" Logan asked. "How?"
"Those vultures followed us!" Donald snapped. "All the way from our therapy session in New York. You should have seen it! It was like the OJ Simpson car chase without the police!"
"This is awful," Kitty moaned. "Oh Jesse…"
"Kitty they would have figured out I was a mutant sooner or later," Jesse D sighed. "I was just hoping for later. Much later."
"Wait, you've been outed as a mutant?" Jubilee asked.
"Unofficially," Jesse D sighed.
"How did they find out?" Logan asked.
"You can see for yourself," Jesse D pointed to the screen.
Trish Tilby was outside reporting. "I'm Trish Tilby live at the Xavier Institute. Not even a week after the infamous arrest of magazine publisher/starlet Glory and the allegations of the Fantastic Four secretly supporting the Xavier Institute, another scandal has broken. Popular Video DJ Jesse D has been outed as a mutant and is currently within the walls of the Xavier Institute. This dramatic video shows Jesse D using his powers."
The video showed that Jesse D was creating a force field around himself when some pyrotechnics went off. "I was just checking out the stage for one of our shows," Jesse D explained. "When all of the sudden all the pyrotechnics went off like crazy. I wasn't hurt and I used a force field to contain the damage. I didn't know anyone was there. A few days later while we're waiting at the therapist's office I see this on TV!"
"Do you know who sent out the tape?" Scott asked.
"Not a clue!" Jesse D said.
"It's now been confirmed that Jesse D is in fact related to Hector 'Shipwreck' Delgado of GI Joe," Trish continued. "You may also remember that Mr. Delgado is in fact one of the handlers of the Misfits, the military mutant team. In fact Jesse D is the cousin of the mutant known as Wavedancer, the leader of the team."
"And the Misfits take center stage again," Scott groaned.
"Let them have this one Scott!" Kitty snapped.
"How much you wanna bet that incident was staged?" Logan growled.
"Staged? How?" Kitty asked.
"WHO DID THIS?" Shipwreck stormed in with the rest of the Misfits. "WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO YOU JESSE? I WANT NAMES SO I CAN WRITE THEM ON THEIR TOMBSTONES!"
"Are you okay Jesse?" Althea asked giving her cousin a hug.
"Well I've been better," Jesse D admitted. "Logan thinks the whole thing was staged to expose my powers."
"I believe it," Todd grumbled. "But how did they know about you in the first place?"
"Did you tell anyone you worked with that you're a mutant?" Cover Girl asked.
"Not a soul, only the owner of the station knew," Jesse D said. "But he wouldn't tell anyone."
"Maybe he didn't," Arcade held up a laptop. "I've been going over the video digitally. Take a look in the window on the left. There's a reflection of someone with a camera. It was mostly hidden by the special effects but if I clean it up and put this together." An image of a scraggly haired man with a camera could be shown. "You recognize this guy?"
"Yeah," Jesse D said. "I know him. He's one of the effects guys the station hired recently. Kind of weird and kept to himself but he kept getting in trouble for shooting his mouth off about…"
"About what?" Kitty asked.
"I don't believe I didn't figure this out sooner," Jesse D said. "He's real big into Purity. Kept telling everyone how Stryker was gonna save the planet from hell. His evangelism got on a lot of people's nerves at the station. He was nearly fired last time."
"So Purity staged the whole thing so Jesse D could use his powers?" Todd scratched his head. "But why? I mean how would that guy even suspect Jesse D of being a mutant? It don't make sense!"
"Yes it does," Kitty's fists clenched. "Stryker!"
"Stryker?" Donald asked. "What does that maniac have to do with anything?"
"Stryker's the force behind Purity remember?" Lance told him. "And he's got a vendetta against Kitty."
"All mutants actually but I think Kitty somehow managed to be his favorite target," Jubilee said.
"Well yeah I mean all I did was stop his plans, tell him off in front of the whole world and prevented him from escaping jail!" Kitty shouted. "This is all my fault!"
"That's bull!" Lance shouted. "It's not your fault!"
"For once I am in agreement with him," Peter grunted. "Purity is the one that staged this fiasco, not you!"
"But that's not staged!" Tabitha pointed. There were several pictures of Jesse D and Kitty's mother in compromising positions.
"Holy crap!" Todd's jaw dropped as another picture was shown. It was Mrs. Pryde and Jesse D in a very compromising position.
"Oh my god!" Kitty screamed. "MOM!"
"Oh dear..." Mrs. Pryde's face turned bright red.
"As if this story wasn't bizarre enough it seems that Jesse D is having an affair with Mrs. Katherine Pryde," Trish reported. "A woman not only twice his age but the mother of Kitty 'Shadowcat' Pryde, one of the famed X-Men. Earlier this month Kitty Pryde had an altercation with the Reverend Stryker when he attempted to escape from custody at his trial." Scenes of Kitty falling through the sky with Stryker were shown.
"We also have learned that Ms. Pryde's father, Carmen Pryde left his wife to have a homosexual affair with the uncle of another student at the Xavier Institute," Trish spoke as pictures of Kitty's father and Doug's uncle were shown. "It was shortly after the separation Mrs. Pryde found love with Jesse D."
"Oh my god…" Donald said. "I look so fat!"
"The media is going to tear us all to shreds over this!" Mr. Pryde said. "And all you can think about is how you look?"
"Well if you gotta go down," Donald said. "At least go down looking good."
"Can't argue with that," Pietro shrugged.
"It's really hit the fan now," Ray groaned.
"Maybe it's just as well you're aunt isn't going to be staying with us," Rina said to Jubilee.
"How did they find out about all of us?" Kitty asked.
"How does any one of these sleazes find out anything?" Rogue grumbled. "Probably rooted through the garbage where they feel most at home!"
"Was this relationship a result of Mrs. Pryde trying to restore her fragile ego?" Trish asked. "Or was there really an attraction between the two? Did her own daughter bring them together?"
"That is a total lie!" Kitty shouted.
"Yeah you screamed in your room for hours after you learned you might end up related to a Misfit," Todd said.
"Anybody would scream in their room for hours after learning they might be related to a Misfit!" Scott said.
"This just in: We now know that the name of Mr. Pryde's lover is Donald Ramsey, a respected businessman and banker," Trish spoke. "Is he a mutant as well? And if not, how much does he know about his lover's family? Did he even know that his own nephew, Douglas Ramsey is reportedly a mutant himself? What powers does Douglas have and are they a danger to society?"
"Oh my Dad must be loving this!" Doug put his head into his hands.
"Have you called your bosses at the station?" Roadblock asked Jesse D. "And told them about the situation?"
"Let's just say they're talking with their lawyers," Jesse D sighed. "However I did tell Steve Szbago, the guy who owns the network I was a mutant a while back. We went to college together. So it's not like this is completely out of the blue for him."
"Unfortunately we're not so lucky," Mr. Pryde admitted.
"My firm doesn't even know I'm gay, much less who I'm dating!" Donald groaned. "On the up side maybe now my boss' wife will stop hitting on me."
"How do we keep getting into situations like this?" Jubilee groaned. "It's like that family on the show Arrested Development. You know where weird things happen to them every week and they keep getting into trouble?"
"Talk about art imitating life. This day cannot possibly get any worse," Rogue groaned.
"Sources close to the…" Trish continued. Suddenly she was interrupted by some kind of commotion. "What the…? Oh my god!"
A van was careening down the street straight towards the protestors in front of the gates. Of course the driver of the van was not doing that bad a job, considering men in two cars behind the van were firing upon it. People screamed and ran as the van headed straight for the gates of the Institute and bullets flew everywhere. "It's headed right for the gate!" Kitty shouted.
"You had to say that didn't you Stripes?" Logan shouted as the X-Men and Misfits ran outside. The van crashed through the gate, miraculously not hitting any of the news people and protestors. "Storm! We need some cover here!"
"Understood!" Immediately Ororo created a huge fog bank. "Rogue! Kitty! Provide assistance to whoever's inside!"
"We gotta stop them! They're getting away!" Jean said as she sensed the drivers of the cars peeling off.
"Damnit! Where the hell did this fog come from?" One thug shouted.
"Who cares! Let's get out of here!" Another shouted. "Hey! Where the hell did this ice come from! The road is covered in it!"
The two cars slammed into each other. Jean, Scott and Bobby disarmed the thugs with ease. One thug tried to escape but Kurt teleported and knocked him down. Another thug tried to shoot at the mutants only to have his bullets blocked by Peter in his armored form.
Several police cars screamed up and started to pull out their weapons at both the thugs and the mutants. "Stop right there! Hands in the air! All of you!"
"We're on your side dudes!" Bobby snapped.
Meanwhile Kitty and Rogue helped the woman inside the mansion. She was blonde and rather large. "Help me inside! Please!" The woman pleaded.
"Geeze lady you seem to be in a heap full of trouble," Rogue said as they brought her inside.
"You have no idea how right you are…" The woman panted as she changed her shape.
"YOU!" Rogue shouted when she realized whom the driver of the van was.
"Hello Rogue," Mystique said. "We need to talk…"
Next: Guess who's coming to dinner? He he…