Part XIII: Christmas without You

Jessie lay in a very familiar bed in her mother's home in Chicago. Everything else around her was the same: the Christmas tree, the mistletoe, her old room, the old house, and the rest of the Sammler family busy downstairs. Jessie thought everything was going to be alright, that this was the way are supposed to be. After a few hours lying in her bed, she realized that there was one thing different this year. Her heart was yearning for a person who has probably forgotten about her because of the argument they had. It was probably because she didn't even bother to call her up to check on her. Jessie stood up rubbing her arms. She watched the snow fall on her window pane. It was the whitest Christmas they ever had. For some reason, one person was in her head since the last time she saw her. And it never left her head no matter how much she tried.

Katie…

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Along the busy streets of New York during Christmas Eve, Katie walked alone just for the sake of trying to catch her breath: doesn't hurt to have time to contemplate on a much anticipated holiday of the year.

The year has been good…

Perhaps the best...

As she walked she saw children singing carols at her neighbor's front doors. They were greeted happily. Katie stopped to greet all of them. She bowed her head as she wished them 'Merry Christmas.' With a genuine smile, Katie opened her apartment door and entered a silent loft. No Sarah screaming, no Russell giggling, and definitely no Jessie. Katie rubbed the back of her head as she went to the kitchen. A blinking light from her phone indicated she had a few messages. Pressing the button, she began to listen.

"You have 3 Messages. BEEP! Hey Katie! It's Sarah. You would never believe what we're having this year. My mother decided she was a vegetarian and I won't even get roast beef this year! Anyway, I wish Russell and I could stay and be with you. But you know how it is. Well, called to say 'Merry Christmas' early because lines might get clogged later because of people wanting to say it on time. Take care Katie. See you back in there in two weeks. Love you. BEEP! Katie it's your dad. How are you honey? I'm sorry we can't be there with you. But New Year's we'll be there. I promise! Your mom bought you a horse here. I have no idea what you'll do with it when we get to New York. Maybe I can buy you a ranch or something. We miss you honey. Call us when you get home. I love you. Merry Christmas! BEEP! Hey Kates! It's Russell. I just called to say Merry Christmas. Hang in there ok? We'll be back soon. Love you Kates!"

Katie shook her head in amusement. She wrote a few text messages and sent them to all those who just called. She decided to call them back on Christmas morning. Katie removed her coat as she walked back to her living room. She carelessly threw it to the couch. Slowly she paced around her living room thinking of the Christmas eves she spent with her family. She then turned to the fireplace and decided to light things up. She stared at the growing fire for a while. She then turned to her workplace. There was a familiar part which was missing. Katie smiled. Alexa wouldn't be happy about it.

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The Sammler clan was sitting by the fire having coffee. They were waiting for the clock to strike twelve for Christmas day. There was silence then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Eli stood up.

When he opened the door, he saw Tad bringing a rather large package.

"Eli! Hi Karen. Hi Rick. Zoe. Grace. Jess. I just came here to drop this. A friend asked me to. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" They all greeted.

"What's that?" Zoe asked looking at the package intensely.

"Oh I don't know. I have to go now. You know how my mom gets when I'm not there with her. Bye guys." Tad waved and left.

Eli was holding the package. He saw Jessie's name on the wrap.

"Hey Jess, I think this is for you."

Jessie slowly stood up and was handed the package. Carefully she ripped off the warp and saw herself. It was her portrait with Katie's initials on the bottom right. Amazingly, the portrait caught every bit of Jessie's face especially her eyes. Out of words, she handed it to Karen. Jessie stared at the fire trying hard not to cry.

"Oh this is beautiful Jessie. When did you sit down and did this?" Karen admired Katie's work.

It was a perfect picture of Jessie.

"I… We… never sat down to do that…" Jessie turned to look at her family.

"But it's so good. It's like life-like Jess." Zoe admiringly looked at the portrait.

"I know… It's looks like I'm just in a window…" Jessie was starting to breathe ragged.

My image is so perfect…

How could she do it without looking at me while painting it?

Jessie was finding it hard to understand how Katie could probably paint her portrait. She had been to Katie's house but never seen her work on it. She went out to the porch as her family admired the painting. Only Karen saw her walk outside.

I hurt her.

I leave her.

But I love her.

How could I say I love her if I treat her badly?

Jessie felt tears running freely down her cheeks. She rubbed them hurriedly when Karen appeared.

"It's a beautiful gift Jess. I do believe she works by heart." Karen took her daughter's hand and rubbed it gently.

"Why would you say she works by heart?" Jessie turned to look at Karen.

She remembered she was crying so she had to turn away.

"I just know… Honey… Why are you crying?" Karen rubbed her daughter's back.

"I don't know mom. I think I have gone crazy…"

"For a person who has her image etched in someone's heart… I don't know why you're crazy…"

"What are you talking about mom?" Jessie turned to her mother furrowing her brows in confusion.

"How else would she paint your portrait without you to pose for her?" Karen replied showing a smile on her lips.

"She loves you. I saw it in her eyes the night you took her to dinner. The night you sang to her." Karen added as she turned her gaze to the sky.

"Mom…"

"I love you Jessie. No matter what…" Karen replied and hugged her daughter who was now crying uncontrollably.

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Katie sat on her couch with her sketch pad and pencil at hand. The clock stoked twelve… it was Christmas.

Merry Christmas Katie Singer…

She started to draw. As she looked at the image she smiled. It was the only image she wanted to see but she knew it would never come. It was too far-fetched. And her heart was still too broken. She put the sketch pad on her coffee table and stood up. She went to the kitchen and took out some wine.

----

Jessie redialed Katie's number once again.

God this is not helping…

Can you help me get through please?

My love life is on the line…

"Jessie honey you'll get through ok? Just dial again." Rick smiled.

They were all watching Jessie trying to get in touch with Katie.

----

Katie took the glass and drank the wine, her phone rang. Katie was too tired to answer so she let the voice mail take it.

"BEEP! Katie it's me… Jessie… I… I know you're probably sleeping by now… I just… I just… wanted to say thank you… I… it's so… perfect… I… But I'm not… I know… I can't make up for the things I did… I… But I'll try… Just give me a chance… I'll see you soon Katie… I… I love you… Merry Christmas…"

Katie smiled. She heard people all giggling and whistling. Jessie was calling her with her family around her. As the call ended she heard people singing Merry Christmas. With a grin on her face she went to the living room and took her sketch pad. She looked at the image with new found happiness in her eyes.

Jessie…