A/N- Thanks to all of my reviewers! You guys are awesome and amazing and awesomely amazing! Haha everybody always yells at me for saying that... So, yeah... this chapter is long-awaited. You will find out why if you read on!
A/N 2- Questions! Rory already knows that Luke adopted her. There's one chapter- Age five, I believe it is- the year after Luke and Lorelai get married, but the year before the Cohens move to Connecticut, where I typed up the adoption proceedings. She goes for twice-yearly visits with Christopher upon Luke's insistence, because Luke doesn't want Rory to resent him for keeping her from Chris when she grows up. Also, I didn't mean for Finn to be a bad guy. Sometimes I tweak the characters to make them fit the scenes. Just remember that they're still kids, and kids can be cruel. Plus, I'm glad you all got the reference to Rory's birthday party... man, that scene was fun to write.
Dedicated to Ally again, because at nine this morning we were making a scrapbook for our other cousin's bat mitzvah, and she kept getting really sad when she remembered we weren't two anymore while looking through the pictures.
Disclaimer: I have to put this in every chapter? Nothing has changed since last week.
Preliminary Prevention
"Mom, what are 'Satan's Hell Dogs'?" 10-year-old Rory asked her mother from her seat across the table in her father's diner, sipping eagerly at her mother's coffee.
"What? Rory, what in the world are you talking about?"
"Mrs. Kim. She told me that Satan's Hell Dogs are going to eat Ryan and Seth if they 'try anything with me'. The whole experience was a little weird."
"Well, that's Mrs. Kim for you. It's just her way of cursing Seth and Ryan."
"Oh... Hell Dogs is a cool band name."
"Definitely."
Luke approached the girls' table, kissing Lorelai's lips and Rory's forehead and sitting backwards on a chair.
"What's going on?"
"Ryan and Seth are going to be eaten by Hell Dogs."
"Oh. Send Sandy and Kirsten my condolences." He'd been living with Lorelai and Rory for far too long to ever miss a beat.
"Dad, did I leave my copy of The Crucible upstairs?" Luke smiled; people always thought his daughter read a lot, but he was intrigued by her love of literature. Not every child could read The Crucible at ten.
"Yeah, it's on the couch in my office."
"Ok. I'm going to run upstairs and get a few things." She got up and went upstairs, leaving Lorelai to lean in to kiss her husband. He eagerly kissed back for a few seconds before reluctantly pulling away.
"I wanted to do that before, but Rory hates it when we kiss like that."
"We feed, clothe, and house her. She could deal." As they leaned in for another kiss, they heard Caesar call out,
"Boss! Phone!"
"Take a message, I'll call them back!"
"It's a woman, boss! Says it's an emergency!"
"A woman?" Luke repeated as Lorelai eyed him curiously,
"Who could that be? And before you answer, just remember that you have a fabulous wife and daughter who you'd be lost without."
"I honestly have no idea. Let me go get it," He kissed her reassuringly and took the phone from Caesar, Lorelai watching with intrigue, "Hello?... Oh, hey... what?... what?...WHAT?... You'll never change, will you!... You can't do this! I have a wife and a kid to take care of!... Fine, you know what! Do whatever you want! Fine!" He slammed the phone onto the cradle and turned to face Rory and Lorelai staring at him, concerned and confused. He inhaled deeply, "Rory, help Caesar for a minute. I need to talk to mom alone." Lorelai pointed to herself questioningly and Luke motioned angrily upstairs.
"Don't you mean 'Rory, go upstairs'? I can help down here."
"Lorelai, I need to talk to you. Now."
"Fine, fine." She scurried upstairs, Luke stomping behind her, Rory watching nervously behind.
Lorelai sat on the couch in the office.
"Now, was that just a trick to get me upstairs?" She joked.
"That was Liz."
"Oh, how is she?"
"Liz? Oh, she's fine, now that she doesn't have a kid to take care of!"
"What! What happened to Jess!"
"She's sending him away!"
"To where?"
"Here! To live with us! She wants Jess to live with you, me, and Rory!"
"Where?"
"At the plaza!"
"Ok, honey, relax. You're very sarcastic when you're nervous."
"Lorelai, where the hell are we supposed to put him? He's ten! Do we have enough room or patience for another ten-year-old!"
"Well, Rory's a pretty chill kid. It'll be like having our first ten-year-old."
"Lorelai," He growled warningly.
"Sorry, sorry... Why is she sending him away?"
"She said that she doesn't like the path he's on- that by the time he's seventeen he could be in big trouble and she doesn't want him getting to that point. Then she told me that you and I have the kind of stable life that she wants for him and that we've done a great job with Rory so far and maybe, just maybe, we can turn Jess around." He finally took a breath.
"Maybe... she's right," Lorelai hesitated.
"What!"
"Maybe we could turn Jess around. He's family and you, of all people, always stress how important family is. Maybe try giving him an unchanging lifestyle and routine and see how he reacts. He could pick up his grades. We could even get Seth and Ryan to be friends with him- what better male ten-year-old role models can you find?"
"What about Rory?"
"What about her? She adores Jess. Remember last Christmas, he and Liz came to visit and she spent the entire two days with him? She didn't even call Seth and Ryan the entire weekend. She wanted her cousin all to herself... we might have to remedy that," She added as an afterthought.
"Where is he going to stay?"
"I don't know... maybe the basement?"
"The basement is filled with crap."
"Then you and Sandy have some time before you... When is he coming, anyway?"
"Sunday."
"So soon? Why not when school starts?"
"She wants him here in the middle of summer so he can 'get used to the vibe of Stars Hollow before he has to go to sixth grade'."
"Well, honey, I'll make you a deal. If you and Sandy clean out the basement- we still have the old bed from your old apartment down there- Kirsten and I will go out and get everything that he needs. Blankets, lighting, posters, ambiance- maybe we'll ask the kids for ideas." Luke was defeated,
"Fine." They turned and opened the door, hearing a flurry of footsteps descend down the stairs. They themselves made their way back into the diner to find Rory standing in front of the counter, her breathing deep, attempting to make her most innocent face- the one her father could never resist.
"So... your cousin's gonna come stay with us for a while."
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The next day, Kirsten and Lorelai ventured to the mall to buy supplies for Jess's new bedroom. As she ran her fingers over the soft cloth of the Macy's comforter, Kirsten asked,
"So, what's his relationship with everybody like?"
"My nephew's?"
"Yeah... I'm just trying to figure out how many spa days we're going to need to de-stress you."
"Aww, you're the best friend ever. Have I ever told you that?"
"Occasionally." Lorelai paused before continuing,
"Jess... has a really strained relationship with his mom. It's like, they never talk, she never knows where he is. My sister-in-law, as much as I love her, she's not the world's greatest mom. She's a bit flaky occasionally."
"I wouldn't picture that being Luke's sister."
"Luke's the black sheep of the Danes clan."
"Ahh, point taken... so, what's it like with you guys and Jess?"
"Well... he's just kinda there around me. No real emotions. I'm his aunt who sits in the background. With Luke... it's weird, because Luke really tries to make sure he's not like his mom- doing drugs and getting himself into trouble. So he almost doesn't know what to make of Luke. Like Should I let him protect me? or Get this guy away from me?" Kirsten nodded,
"And with Rory?"
"Rory and Jess adore each other," she said without pause, "They're pals. They get along so well, it's almost sick. I think the only reason Jess is actually showing is because of Rory."
"So she's excited?"
"Ecstatic."
"Good. Well, maybe she can get him to open up."
"We can hope."
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Sandy and Luke spent the next afternoon in the basement. Luke picked up a box labeled "Old tapes" and carried it to the foot of the stairs where a pile of objects to be brought to the garage was situated.
"So this is your..."
"My sister's kid."
"Where's his father?"
"The bum ran away when Jess was a baby. Since then, it's been Lizzie, Jess, and whoever Liz is married to at the time."
"Wow... Liz used to live in Stars Hollow?" Luke nodded,
"She hated it. It was too quiet for her. She must've run away ten times when we were kids."
"To where?"
"Anywhere. One time, she actually ran away to New York City. We found her, like, a week later. My father never did know how to deal with her." He sighed audibly as Sandy chose to change the topic,
"What's his feelings on all this?"
"Moving? I don't know. I doubt my sister asked him. She's not much with that."
"What's Jess like?"
"Jess? He's like... Rory, only in boy form. And she gets in a lot less trouble than he does. He's a smart kid. Reads a lot. Kinda shy, but very confrontational when he wants to be. And he'd protect Rory to the death."
"Almost sounds like Ryan."
"Except the trouble part."
"Except the trouble part," Sandy repeated, nodding, "So, what made your sister send him here?"
"I'm sure it was spur-of-the-moment. She's very impulsive, and not in a good way. She said something about him running away one time too many and giving a teacher the finger... something obscene and absurd."
"He's obscene and absurd? He'll fit in well here."
"Hopefulness is the root of insanity."
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"So, Rory... what's he like?" Seth asked, kicking absently at the dirt beneath his feet that were dangling from Rory's backyard swingset.
"My cousin?"
"Yeah."
"Jess is... smart. Really smart. And funny. He likes to read a lot... Lane's met him. She's a more separated judge than I am. Ask her." Lane nodded from her seat at the monkey bars.
"I remember some stories about him..."
"Like?" Ryan asked from the tire swing.
"Well, once, he came to visit... he decided he wanted to go to the playground, but Rory's dad told her no. It was, like, nine at night. And..." She paused and glanced at Rory, looking for any sign that she could go on. Rory, however, glanced away, and Lane decided to continue, "He made Rory go with him to the playground without telling her parents. Her mom and dad were freaking out. You know how my house is right near the playground? My mama heard them laughing and got mad because she believes there should be no children's laughter past eight at night. So she went outside and found Rory and called Lorelai. Lorelai was crying and Luke yelled at Rory. I've never seen Luke yell before."
"He was scared. That was my fault. I should've told them. Jess can't make me do anything I don't want to."
"Or what about the time that he took your dad's fishing rod and got it stuck in the tree and broke it? The really expensive one?"
"He was, like, six. We're ten now. It's different."
"Or the time that he broke his mom's purse and pretended like he didn't know what happened?"
"So? Everybody breaks stuff. Leave him alone!" They were all silent for a moment before Lane found the courage to speak again, quietly,
"Jess is like Rory in boy form... only he..." She paused, unwilling to state the truth and offend her friend even more.
"Gets in a lot more trouble," Rory chimed sarcastically. They all winced at the obvious irritation in her voice, "He's not bad!" Rory retaliated.
"He sounds bad," whispered Ryan.
"He sounds like trouble," finished Seth.
"He's not! He's my cousin and you've never even met him!"
"Ok, ok, whatever," Her three best friends moved away slightly to give her space.
"No, not whatever! You guys are talking bad about Jess and you don't even know him! I hate you! Leave me alone!" She stood up and stormed through the house, throwing her bedroom door shut behind her. She sat down on her bed, fuming, and pulled out a notebook, writing in her journal.
Outside, Luke and Sandy had run upstairs, startled by the noise.
"Is everybody ok? What's going on out here?"
"Rory got mad."
"Rory never gets mad," Luke mentioned.
"What happened?" Sandy asked.
"We were talking about Jeff," Seth explained.
"Who?" perplexed, Luke narrowed his eyes at his best friend's son.
"Your nephew."
"Jess?"
"She has another cousin?"
"No, genius, it's the same one," Ryan shot at his brother.
"I definitely knew that."
"Sure you did."
"Seth! Ryan! On with it!"
"Oh, yeah, right. Lane was telling us some of the stories about him and Rory got mad and said he wasn't 'bad'. Then she said she hated us and ran off." Comprehension spread across Luke's face as confusion became evident on Sandy's,
"That doesn't sound like Rory."
"No, it does," Luke shook his head, "She's very protective of Jess. I'll be back. Go ahead, kids. Play." Luke turned on his heel and made his way into his house, purposefully making his way towards Rory's bedroom. He knocked gently on the door.
"Go away! I hate you!" Rory's voice called from inside.
"Rory, it's Dad."
"I don't feel like talking right now."
"Well, I do."
"I'm not in the mood to talk."
"I am. Open the door."
"No!"
"Lorelai," he growled warningly. Rory was taken aback; no one ever called her 'Lorelai' , except for the one time she had run away with Jess to the park. Slowly, methodically, she stood up and pulled open her bedroom door. She glanced up at him sheepishly as he asked her, disappointed, "Who are you and what have you done with my sweet kid?"
"Stop, dad."
"No, Rory. This is not you. This screaming and yelling and telling the boys and Lane that you hate them? You never fight with the three of them. Ever. What is this all about?" She turned around and sat at the foot of her bed before answering,
"I hate when people say things... like they did." Luke sat next to her and pulled her onto his lap, much as he had done when she had been a toddler in need of consolation,
"Is this all about Jess?" She nodded slowly as he hugged her encouragingly.
"It's just... everybody always says 'Jess is like Rory in boy form only he gets in a lot more trouble'. Everybody. Taylor and Babette and Lane and even you and mom and I hate it. He's my cousin and I'm not perfect and he's not that bad. I just hate when people bad-mouth him."
"Rory, you know that mom and I love Jess, it's just... we love you more. We have to. You're our kid. It's the rule. We've got to watch out for you. Everything we say is out of concern for you."
"So Jess getting in trouble all the time is my fault? Terrific. My cousin should hate me."
"Rory, c'mon. Every time Jess gets in trouble it's his own fault. If mom and I have taught you anything, it's that everyone's responsible for their own actions."
"No, if you and mom have taught me anything, it's that mom and I can't cook and shouldn't try." Luke laughed; her mother would've said the exact same thing had she been in a similar conversation.
"That is true. Just remember- Daddy owns the diner, mommy runs the inn. You and mom can deal with people. I can cook. That's how it works in this family. But, back to what I was saying- if you get in trouble, you're held responsible for what you did. The problem is, Jess doesn't know that. Your Aunt Liz, as much as we all love her," Rory smiled; her Aunt Liz was a lot of fun, "never made Jess take any responsibility for anything he did. And now he's getting in trouble. So he's coming here. But you can't protect Jess all the time. I want you to be happy and sweet and perky- I want you to be my regular Rory. Ok? This cannot make you change. Because I have to tell you- Angry Rory? Definitely not as princessy and lovable as regular Rory." Rory laughed,
"Ok, dad."
"You promise that you'll stay my sweet princess?"
"Yeah." She hugged her father tightly and recalled what her mother had told her in a talk earlier in the week- "Rory, there has never been anything in this world that your dad has loved more than he loves you." I guess it's true.
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Luke stood, his hands jammed firmly in his pockets as the bus pulled up to the station. A slew of people piled off of the bus, the last of which was a boy, about age ten, with dark, angry eyes and curly dark hair (Similar to Seth's. was how Luke had explained it.)
"Jess!" Luke called, attempting to get the boy's attention as he sluggishly dragged an oversized duffel bag behind him. He pushed through the crowd and made his way over to his nephew, picking up his bag, "How are you?" Jess shrugged, "How's your mom?" Jess shrugged again, a malicious glint evident in his eye, "Ok, well, your aunt and cousin are waiting back at the house," Jess nodded,
"Where's the car?"
"We're walking."
"Gotta love the small town life," Jess muttered under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing." They began the short walk home in awkward silence, though Luke tried repeatedly to start conversation,
"So, you excited to be here?" A glance spoke Jess's emotions for him, "Rory's excited to see you," Jess nodded and couldn't help but grin a little at the mention of his only cousin's name, "Aunt Lorelai invited a few people over tonight for a little party. Just our friends- Sookie, Kirsten, and Sandy and a few of Rory's friends- Seth, Lane, and Ryan."
"Boys?" Finally, a reaction.
"Seth and Ryan are, yeah."
"Rory has boyfriends?"
"What! No! Rory has friends who are boys!"
"Sound like boyfriends."
"Rory doesn't have a boyfriend. They're family friends. Their parents are friends of mine and Lorelai's."
"They're brothers? Rory's dating brothers!"
"Rory isn't dating anyone, Jess!"
"Fine, fine..." They walked the rest of the way home in complete silence.
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"They're here!" Rory's voice shrieked from inside. Luke grinned; Rory had been waiting for days. Jess rubbed vigorously at his ear,
"Was that Rory?"
"Yeah. She's excited."
"G-d, don't you ever discipline her?"
"Rarely need to," He stated pointedly. Rory ran outside, shrieking excitedly as Lorelai followed, rubbing at her ear, much as Jess had,
"Rory, I think they heard you. They know you know they're here."
"I'm just making sure."
"You woke up the dogs in Jersey."
"Well, they're lazy bums. They need to work more."
"As long as it's for a purpose." Rory ran up and threw her arms around Jess as Lorelai pecked Luke on the lips. She turned to Jess,
"Hey, pal. Welcome!"
"Hi, Aunt Lorelai." He was unenthusiastic.
"Well, you excited to be here?" He shrugged, "Ready to meet Stars Hollow?" Shrug, "Ok, well, we have some people coming over tonight," Shrug.
"Woah, de ja vu," Luke whispered to his wife.
"Mom, dad, can I take Jess and show him his room?"
"Sure, sweets," Rory began to pull him away, "Rory!" She turned around and nodded as her mother motioned for her to ask him if he was hungry.
Luke put his arm around Lorelai's waist as they watched the children disappear.
"One hell of a conversationalist," Lorelai said sarcastically as she turned to face him and put her arms around his neck; he slid his other arm around to meet the one already in place.
"I know... Can we really do this?"
"Luke, you know we can do this."
"Maybe we were crazy thinking we could help him. We're used to Rory. Did you ever notice that our daughter is an absolute angel?"
"I know. I've polished the halo."
"Very domestic of you."
"I was inspired by Martha."
"Washington?"
"Stewart."
"Ah... That conversation just got very silly, very quick."
"They usually do." Luke chuckled,
"It's just... he's exactly like his mother. What if we can't handle him?"
"Honey, we can. Trust me. This is Stars Hollow. There's nothing he can get in trouble with. Plus, we have eyes all over the town. It'll be fine." He grinned,
"I knew I liked you for a reason." Leaning in slowly, he kissed her softly.
Inside, Rory was giving Jess a re-tour of the house. Jess, however, was intently watching Luke and Lorelai through the open window,
"Your parents always do that?"
"Do what?"
"That," He pointed out the window at Luke and Lorelai.
"Oh... yeah... I wish they wouldn't. I mean, I'm glad they love each other, but sometimes, it's like... ew. You know?"
"No, not really."
"Your mom and dad don't kiss?"
"You mean my mom and whoever she's married to? No. Generally they ignore me and go off and do stuff, then get divorced," he saw the worried look on Rory's face and quickly added, "Sorry. I didn't mean..."
"That's ok. You're here now."
"Yeah."
"So, your room's downstairs."
"Downstairs?"
"Yeah. You get the whole basement to yourself." Jess frowned,
"The basement?" Rory pulled at his arm again, "You have to stop doing that!"
"Deal with it," She led Jess down the stairs near the front entryway and pulled him down the steps. Jess, expecting to find a room similar to his room in his mother's apartment- a bed with an old, dirty comforter, a drawer, and a light- held his breath. His jaw dropped as he took in the sight of his new bedroom.
The walls were painted a welcoming deep blue, the floor a beige shag carpet. Hanging on the wall were Yankees posters and pictures of himself and his family. Across from the doorway was a twin bed covered in a big, fluffy, blue-and-white striped comforter. Against the wall was a tall book shelf, about twenty books lining the wooden planks. Next to it sat a comfortable armchair in a deep blue fabric. Across the room stood an armoire which swung open to reveal more shelving, a reading light, and a desk. As Rory flipped the light switch, enabling the fan, she led Jess to the drawers.
"Sorry there's no clothes. Mom didn't know what size you were, so she said she'd take you shopping when you got here."
"She doesn't have to... I have stuff..."
"Please- mom lives to shop. Dad says it's his competition."
"This is really cool," Jess whispered in awe as Luke and Lorelai descended the stairs, Luke tickling Lorelai while she giggled gleefully, swatting at his arm.
"So, Jess, what do you think?" He asked, finally capturing his wife in his arms.
"It's really nice. Thanks."
"Thank your Aunt Lorelai. She came up with the concept for the room. Went out and got everything."
"Thanks, Aunt Lorelai."
"Well, your Uncle Luke worked really hard to get everything ready."
"Thanks, Uncle Luke." They heard a knock on the door upstairs and footsteps through the house. Ryan's voice called,
"Rory! Rory, c'mon! We're going to be late again!"
"We can't afford to be late again! The coach is going to kill us!" Seth yelled.
"Slowly," Ryan added.
"Painfully," Seth again.
"And without shame!" they both called.
"I'm coming!" Rory called.
"Oh, that's right. You guys have softball practice today."
"Yeah."
"How did I let your father talk you into playing that one?" Lorelai asked.
"Hey! She wanted to play!" defended Luke.
"Will you two stop already?" Seth called.
"Last time, you made us another five minutes late!" Ryan said from the top of the stairs.
"Bye mom. Bye dad. Bye Jess."
"Rory, right home after practice."
"Ok."
"I mean it. Don't stop for ice cream."
"We won't."
"Don't try and convince Caesar to go on a break and let you run the diner."
"We won't."
"Do NOT go and try and 'break Lane free from Church Hell'. You hear me? It was funny last time, but Mrs. Kim cursed our garden. Nothing's grown there since." Seth, Ryan, and Rory all burst into uproarious laughter,
"We won't. We promise. We'll be back before everybody gets here."
"Bye, princess. Have a good practice."
"Kick some touchdowns for me, sweets."
"Bye! See you later, Jess!" She ran up the stairs and followed the Cohen boys out to the ball field.
"So, that's Seth and Ryan?" Jess asked. Luke took note of the fact that the only time Jess seemed to speak was when Ryan and Seth were the subjects in question.
"Yeah. Those are the Cohen boys. Rory's best friends and cohorts."
"Do they always talk like that?"
"Like what?"
"Finishing each other's sentences."
"Yeah. All the time. It's kinda..."
"Spooky."
"Definitely."
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Rory, Ryan, and Seth walked shoulder-to-shoulder to the softball practice.
"So, that was your cousin?" Ryan asked.
"He seemed... nice." Seth finished.
"You didn't hear him speak."
"He had a nice vibe about him."
"Aunt Hailey says you can learn a lot about someone from their aura."
"Aunt Hailey sounds like Aunt Liz."
"Aunt Liz sounds like fun."
"So does Aunt Hailey."
"You get in trouble with Aunt Liz, don't you?"
"From time to time... with Aunt Hailey?"
"From all the time to... yeah, pretty much all the time." Rory laughed, a mischievous sparkle in her eye. Suddenly, without warning, she began to sprint,
"Last one to the field is the Velveteen Rabbit!"
"What does that even mean!"
"I don't know! Just run!" They all began to sprint as Seth lagged behind,
"No fair! I have asthma!"
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Two hours later, Rory returned home, her pants covered in dirt. She coughed as she entered the house,
"Mom!"
"In here!" came her mother's voice from the den. Rory turned the corner to find Lorelai snuggled on the couch watching The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.
"Daytime TV makes me sad," Rory stated simply, plopping down beside her mother's feet.
"C'mon! They're wearing matching sequin jumpsuits! It's cheese-tastic!"
"Just because you add -tastic to a word, doesn't make it a real word. We've had this discussion before."
"The Lorelai Danes dictionary has many words in use by only you and me."
"So I've heard."
"How was practice?"
"Ok. Ryan hit a home run and I walked twice and Seth got beamed in the head with a baseball. And then a bat."
"Again?"
"He didn't cry this time."
"They have got to stop letting that boy play catcher."
"I concur... Where's Jess?"
"Your dad took him out to show him around Stars Hollow and get him a bite to eat at the diner." Rory nodded. Slowly, Lorelai spoke, measuring her words, "So... what do you think... of your cousin being here... In Stars Hollow... In our house..." Rory grinned. She knew this conversation was a long time coming,
"I think it's cool."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I think that we can help him and it'll be a lot of fun having him around the house. Plus, dad needs another boy to do guy stuff with."
"I don't know. He's got you pretty boyed up right now."
"Just because I play, doesn't mean I show any aptitude for the game."
"What's up with the dictionary talk today?"
"I was reading Lord of the Rings last night. I'm feeling very literary today."
"Gotcha... so... this whole thing isn't freaking you out at all?"
"Nope. I think that Jess is family and we can help him, so we should."
"You sound just like your dad."
"It's almost eerie, isn't it?"
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Rory emerged from her room wearing a flowered lavender miniskirt (Luke-approved length) and a matching tank-top. Her french braid swung wildly as she ran to open the door, her flip-flops clicking loudly.
"Dad! Jess! You're late! Everybody's going to be here in a few minutes!" She crossed her arms across her chest and tapped her foot at her father and cousin impatiently.
"Well, hello, darling daughter. My day was great. And yours? You say softball practice was good? Did Seth get hit again? Well, that sounds exciting."
"Mom's ready to kill you."
"Please- your mother is never punctual."
"Well, she's turning over a whole new tree."
"A new tree?" Jess asked.
"When Rory was five, she told us that she was making herself over. So Lorelai asked her if she was turning over a new leaf and Rory told her that it was too big to be a leaf- she was turning over a new tree. Ever since then..." His voice trailed off as Rory leaned up and kissed his cheek. What have I gotten myself into? thought Jess as he eyed Rory's outfit.
"Do I have to get all dressed up?"
"No. Why?"
"Rory's all dressed up."
"I always dress like this. Don't mind me."
"Jess, just go get changed into a different pair of jeans and a tee-shirt."
"Ok." He trudged downstairs as Rory turned to return to her room, shouting,
"I'll be reading! Let me know when everybody gets here!" Luke nodded and climbed up the stairs to his and Lorelai's bedroom to find her brushing her teeth in their bathroom.
"Hey, honey," she spit out the toothpaste in her mouth and went to give him a quick kiss hello on the lips.
"Cinnamon? I thought I bought the mint kind."
"I hate the mint kind. I keep the cinnamon stashed... So... how did it go with Jess?"
"He was quiet... seemed a bit resentful. Didn't want to talk about anything. I'm so used to Rory, who'll talk about anything, that I almost didn't know what to do with him. The only time he talked was when I mentioned Ryan and Seth."
"What kind of reaction?"
"Worried. I think it's a transference thing. His mom dated guys and hung out with guys and she would get hurt. And since Rory is the only thing in the whole world that he really cares about, the boys thing really hit him hard."
"Well, Rory's not going to stop hanging out with the boys. He'll get used to it. Seth and Ryan will win him over."
"They're good kids."
"Sandy and Kirsten have done a good job."
As if on cue, they heard Sandy's deep voice echo up the stairs,
"Is anybody home? We come bearing dessert!"
"In that case, we're home!" Lorelai yelled back, "We'll be down in a sec!"
Kirsten and Sandy entered the kitchen and put down the cake they'd brought on the table; Rory emerged from her bedroom.
"Hi, Sandy. Hi, Kirsten. Where are the boys?"
"They're outside, looking at Seth's bruise from baseball in the dark."
"They say it looks like Spongebob at the right angle."
"This I have to see." She gave them a small wave and ran out to the front door as Luke and Lorelai entered the kitchen.
"Where's she off to?"
"Seth's bruise looks like Spongebob. She wanted to see."
"Really! Oh, I wanna see!"
"Stay here," Luke grabbed her arm as she pouted, "A ten-year-old. I married a ten-year-old." He winced.
"That came out wrong."
"Completely."
"So, where's Jess?" Kirsten laughed.
"Basement. He's getting changed." The three kids came back in the room, now accompanied by Lane, who had showed up while they were outside.
"I think it looks more like Patrick," Rory contributed.
"You just think that because you think Patrick's cute," teased Ryan.
"She does not! She thinks Prince Charming is cute," Lane defended her friend before noticing her slip.
"Lane!"
"Sorry!"
"You like a cartoon!" Seth pointed at Rory, laughing.
"He's not real, Rory. You can't like someone who's not real!" Ryan giggled.
"Hey, boys, if I remember correctly, you two both used to fight over who got to date..."
"MOM!"
"NO!"
"Wait... there was a note. A pact. I believe the note read Seth Ezekiel Cohen and Ryan Nicholas Cohen do hereby agree that neither of us will fall in love with Jessica Rabbit. We cannot let the female rabbit come between us. We are brothers. She is only a girl." She smiled at the memory as her boys put their hands to their foreheads,
"MOM!"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD THEM THAT!" Rory and Lane were collapsed in fitful giggles on the floor,
"At least mine was human!"
"And at least he could dance!" They lay there, laughing hysterically as the boys began to come around, followed by the adults. Soon, everyone was laughing heartily around the kitchen. Sookie entered the house,
"What did I miss?"
"Sook, did you ever have a crush on a cartoon character?" She nodded,
"The Sleeping Beauty Prince Charming."
"Because he could dance!" After a few minutes of their laughter, Luke coughed out,
"Rory, go get your cousin." She nodded and stood up shakily, her body still weary from laughter. A minute later, she returned, pulling Jess by the arm.
"Rory, if you're going to do that, at least be gentle about it!" Jess stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the group of people assembled in the kitchen, staring expectantly at him, "Umm... hi..."
"Hi, you must be Jess," Sandy offered his hand, which Jess accepted awkwardly.
"Jess, this is Sandy, Kirsten, their sons, Seth and Ryan, and Sookie. I think you've met Lane before," Luke introduced his nephew to the group.
"Yeah, I remember." There was an awkward silence in the group before Lorelai spoke,
"So... anybody hungry? We have plenty to go around?"
"Even after you and Rory eat?"
"Fine, we have enough to go around."
"Honesty is the best policy."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Two hours later, everyone was sitting around, watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, completely stuffed. The evening had been business as usual, only worked around the new, quiet boy who repeatedly shot death glares at the Cohen boys while they joked with Rory. Rory was the first to speak up when the movie ended at eight o'clock.
"Mom, can Lane sleep over?"
"I don't see why not."
"Ok, could you take us to her house to get her stuff?"
"Sure. You know what, I wanted to stop at the market to get some things anyway." Luke was startled,
"What things, Lorelai?"
"Nothing, honey. Just things."
"Lorelai, we have food in the house."
"No, sweetheart. We have your food. Rory and I need sugar to sustain us."
"Lorelai."
"Sorry, baby. We're buying some candy for the crew. Anybody want anything?" Luke was defeated,
"Get me Big League Chew."
"Ok," She leaned down and kissed his cheek as across the room, everybody except Jess called out requests. She made mental notes of everybody's order before turning to her nephew, who had separated himself from the group, "Jess, any suggestions?"
"No, Aunt Lorelai."
"C'mon, sweetie. This is candy shopping for the week. If anything, you need a big order. It has to sustain you. We even set aside a 'Jess' candy drawer for you."
"A 'Jess' candy drawer?"
"Yeah- Rory, Uncle Luke, and I all have one. That's your candy drawer. Nobody can take from your drawer unless you give the ok." Jess laughed. Though he hated Stars Hollow, he loved the idea of the candy drawer. Finally, a plus.
"I guess I'll have some plain M&Ms, some Red Vines, and some Gummi Bears."
"Good choice. We'll be back in a bit."
"Wait, you guys are going out? Let me come with you!" Jess pleaded; the last thing he wanted was to be stuck home with his uncle, his uncle's friend, and two kids who he disliked immensely.
"Oh, Jess, sweetie, we would, but Mrs. Kim hates boys and she'd freak out if she saw us walking towards her house with you and Lane together. Sorry." Jess panicked as the five women left the room (Sookie had to go home; she had a wedding to cater the next day). Seth and Ryan glanced at each other; they knew what the other was thinking.
What do we do now?
This will not end well. Mark my words...
"So, boys, Luke and I are going to clean up a bit before they get back. Why don't you three head over to the park?"
"The park? Alone?" Jess asked; he remembered all too well the last time he had done that.
"Yeah. Just be back by nine, ok?"
"Uncle Luke, is that ok?" He glanced at his uncle, who gave him an encouraging nod, picking up the abandoned paper plates from the coffee table. Ryan and Seth wordlessly began to run towards Rory's room, where they had left their shoes, "I guess I'll go put my sneakers on," Jess said to no one in particular.
Fifteen minutes later, the boys were walking towards the park in stony silence. Occasionally, Seth or Ryan would try and start a conversation, though they were rewarded with only a grunt of acknowledgement. Eventually, Ryan couldn't take it anymore,
"Look, Jess, why don't you like us? What did we do? Can we fix it?"
"Ryan! Mom would kill you if she heard you say that!"
"Mom's not here, so why, Jess?"
"Why?" Jess looked up at the two boys who acted like twins, though they looked nothing alike. He sighed, "You wanna know why? Because you're guys. I don't trust guys. In my life, all the women in my life have been left by guys and they're always upset. My mom's been married five times already. Each one of them left her. And I don't trust you guys."
"Why? We're not marrying your mom," Seth said before clapping his hand over his mouth. Jess shook the comment off and retorted,
"No, but you guys are close to Rory. And she's my cousin. And if either of you hurts her, I will have to hurt you. I don't trust that you're good guys. I think that most guys are slime, and I don't see how you're any different." Seth and Ryan were taken aback, and didn't say anything as they reached the playground. As Jess veered off towards the swing, Seth and Ryan made their way to the monkey bars, communicating only through meaningful looks.
Things stayed that way- silent, until a deafening cackle pierced the warm summer air.
"So, who are you?" asked a snide voice from the shadows.
"Me? None of your business."
"New kid in town, huh? Think you're cool?"
"I never said anything, but, hey, if you can pick up on it that quick, then maybe I am." The boy stepped out of the shadows to reveal that he was a full six inches taller than Jess. Two other, shorter boys, stepped out behind him.
"Oh, so he thinks he's funny. Maybe we should teach him that he's not." The boy chided. As he stepped in, fist balled, a strong voice came from behind them.
"Dean, leave him alone!" Ryan screamed.
"Oh, Cohen, what are you doing here? Is this your other brother? Seems about as cool as you and your first brother."
"Dean, go play with your Ken dolls," Seth sneered.
"Wow, Cohen #2. You're protective of your triplet, aren't you? Being twins isn't enough?"
"Just because no one likes you enough to make friends with you, Dean, doesn't mean you have to pick on us."
"That's it!" Dean lunged at Ryan and pulled his fist back. He was suddenly pulled away by a strong arm gripping his own. He swung wildly at Jess, now on his back. Seth and Ryan stepped forward, attempting to stop them, as the other two boys stepped forward and began throwing punches. Soon, the fighting was one-on-one, punches flying through the night air.
Before they knew it, there was a screaming, and hands pulling them off of each other,
"Ryan! Seth!" Kirsten screamed.
"Jess!" Lorelai grunted, pulling Dean off of her nephew.
"Are you guys ok?" breathed Rory, bending down to look them in the eye.
"Yeah, we're fine."
"That guy's just an ass..."
"Ryan!"
"Sorry, mom." The mothers checked on their boys before turning to the other children,
"You guys are not going to be happy."
"What! They started it!"
"They did not! We saw the whole thing!" Lorelai spat back at the ten-year-old, grabbing him by the wrist, firmly but gently.
"Jess was sitting on the swing and you came up to him. You gave the first punch," Kirsten defended the boys as Jess watched on in amazement. No one had ever protected him like that- especially not someone he'd just met.
As they walked Dean and the other two boys home, Lorelai and Kirsten allowed their own children to lag behind. Rory and Lane walked slightly ahead of the boys, giving them space to cool off. Suddenly, Jess leaned over to Seth and Ryan,
"I guess I was wrong. You guys aren't slime. Thanks."
"You hear that, Ry? We're not slime!"
"Dad's gonna be so proud!" Jess laughed with his new friends, almost glad that he had come to live in Stars Hollow.