Chapter 8:


Over the next couple of weeks, everything went back to normal. Steph and Jay packed up their stuff and moved back into their house. Randy and Jasmine continued to date without bringing up what happened between me and him. And me and John, well we were happier now than we had ever been. We were crazy about each other, and now with a baby on the way, he was even more loving towards me. He'd do all the house chores, pick me up anything from the grocery store and get me anything I ever wanted.

It was the beginning of December and since Christmas was around the corner, and we had so many different people to shop for, we decided to hit the malls early and get it all over with. For New Years weekend I had booked a night's stay in a penthouse for the two of us. I wanted to get away with John for a while now but since he works so many days of the week, I couldn't find time for the two of us. Plus with everything happening with Jay and Stephanie, it had completely slipped my mind.

One Monday morning, Steph and I decided to go shopping. The six of us had decided to get everyone regular gifts, but play Secret Santa and get a special gift for that person. With my good luck, I had gotten Randy. Even though by now we were speaking again and I had let the whole kiss thing pass, I was still a little nervous around him. Steph wouldn't tell me who she had gotten but I was sure I would find out soon. As we pulled into the parking lot of the mall, we talked about our Christmas plans. Since last year we had all spent Christmas together and Steph had made a big turkey for all of us, we had decided this year we would spend it with our own families. John and I were going to visit his parents, and his mom was going to teach me how to make the full dinner. Steph, Jay and Robbie were going to visit her parents and celebrate Christmas the traditional McMahon way. Randy and Jasmine had yet to figure out what they were doing.

Steph and I decided we were going to get Jasmine some nice lingerie for Christmas this year, to celebrate her new relationship with Randy. Also because Randy had asked us to get her a little something for him. We went into this little shop called Sweet Notions, since they were having a special sale for Christmas. I knew Jasmine's size because I had bought her lingerie a while back when she was dating Andrew. I liked to browse around and look at everything, but Steph went right for the satin slips. She picked up a long red satin robe with matching slip and thong. I laughed as she held it up and asked if this was a nice combination. I laughed and picked up the matching slippers and bra for it. We laughed and agreed Randy would enjoy these. We went up to the counter to pay for them all, when I had a great idea. Why should Randy be the only one enjoying this gift?

I went over to the men's pajama section and picked out some cute little boxers for Randy. I might as well get him something sexy for Secret Santa and let Jasmine enjoy some of him. I also picked up some flannel pajama bottoms amd a tee shirt for him. We left the store and headed down to the book store. I wanted to pick up Jasmine a copy of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. Luckily, they had one copy left.

Now that Randy and Jasmine were crossed off my list, we decided we'd go look for Jay and John. I knew Jay had wanted an iPod but was too lazy to go get it himself, so I went to the big Best Buy and got him the Nano. I wanted to get Jay something a little more personal because of all that had happened lately, I thought it would make him feel a little better. Jay and I had a sort of secret bond you could say, we were quite close to each other. It wasn't a love relationship or anything, more like a brother sister kind. I laughed at all of his jokes and he always made me laugh till I couldn't even breathe anymore.

Since it was John and mine's first Christmas together as newlyweds, I decided that I had to get him something memorable. I thought alot about it and I knew he had always loved surprises. We had planned to head to his parent's house around the 19th of December, so I would have to do it sometime before then, that left me two full weeks of planning. I knew I would be able to do it, as long as John didn't suspect anything. I knew I would have to begin by blindfolding him or he would never believe me. I had decided to start with a carriage ride through the park, just the two of us, with nothing but trees and lights all around. Then I would take him back to the tree where we had carved our names into it on our first date.As the night progressed, we would walk along the street, arm in arm watching as the crisp, white snow fell all around us. We would go back up to the roof where I would set up a fabulous dinner for just the two of us. After we ate, we gaze at the stars lying next to one another.

When I told Steph about this, her eyes began watering. She told me it was such a romantic thought, and she wished her and Jay could do it. I told her that they should, but she said that they were both so busy and didn't have time to do all that. This gave me a great idea but I kept quiet about it because I didn't want Steph to think I was up to anything. I knew exactly how to give Steph and Jay the night they wanted, without interruptions.

So after a couple more hours of shopping, we had bought all of our gifts, except the ones for each other. I had bought Randy the boxers and pajama bottoms, Jasmine the bra and slippers to match Steph's gift for her, and Jay the iPod. I had picked up everything for mine and John's night out together and gifts for all of his family. It had taken me a very long time to find, but I finally found the perfect gift for his mom. It was a tiny heart locket made of white gold. Inside was a photo of the two of us together in the kitchen at her house. This was the first Thanksgiving I had with John's family before we got married, and when I had told John I loved him. We were so thrilled, she cried with me for over an hour. This was also the day she had told me she considered me a daughter. I had also found a very nice frame for the poem I had written her.

A mother seems to specialize
in doing thoughtful deeds,
Before you ask she understands
your problems and your needs.

Quietly she does her best to help,
inspire and cheer, And everything looks
brighter right away because she's near.

She always has a lot to do
but still finds time to spare,
To listen and to give advice
because she really cares.

She helps because she wants to,
she finds joy in being kind,
And making others happy
is the first thing on her mind.

She makes this world a better place
by practicing the art, Of reaching out
to others and by giving from the heart.

For John's Dad, I had picked up Montecristo cigars and a new bottle of his cologne, Envy by Gucci. I also knew he needed a new watch, so I got him a new military watch. For each of his brothers was something different, depending on their interests. The eldest one, Mike enjoyed playing golf so I got him a little cooler in the shape of a golf bag. The youngest, Greg was a big football fan, so I picked up a jersey and cap for him. I also wanted to send Steph's Mom, Dad and brother something because they were like family to me too. For her Mom I was going to send flowers, along with a beautiful, wine red dress and scarf. For her Dad, I decided to get him an iPod like Jay's so he could have something to listen to. He was always complaining how the plane rides were long and boring, and how he needed something to kill the time. For her older brother, Shane I picked up a big Jessica Simspon as Daisy Duke poster and a Ralph Lauren polo. I had also picked out a few toys and some new clothes for Robbie. He had asked me for something called a Zippy. Luckily, the woman at Toys 'R' Us had an idea what I was saying to her. By the time we finally stepped out of the mall, it was getting late.

When I got home, it was very quiet. Since John had caught a flight early this morning to be in Chicago for Raw, I was all alone. I decided to have a shower and then come back to wrap all my gifts. I liked to do them early so I could get them out of the way. After I showered and put my pajamas on, I began wrapping everything very carefully. About half way through, I heard the phone ringing so I stopped and answered it.

I thought it must be John seeing how I was, but it wasn't. I was surprised to hear Randy on the other line, and he didn't sound too good. As a matter of fact, he was crying quite heavily. He asked me if I was able to come over and see him, I said I'd be there right away and I grabbed my keys and was out the door before he said another word.

When I got to his house, I could see the place didn't look too bad. It looked like it usually did, since Randy was a pretty clean guy. I saw him sitting on his bed and looking down at the ground rubbing his forehead. When he heard me come in, he looked up and sort of smiled. He looked like a mess, as if he hadn't slept in days. I went over to the bed and sat next to him, taking his hand in mine and asking what was wrong. He wouldn't tell me at first, he just kept saying he was sorry. He told me he was sorry for bothering me so late, for making me come all this way to see him and for kissing me that day at my house. I was surprised, I had completely forgotten about that kiss. I told him that I knew this wasn't about the kiss and if he was this worried about it then he was being silly.

He told me that he really appreciated me not making a big deal about it and again, that he was very sorry. He then began to explain what had been going on with him and boy, was I surprised. I remembered back to the other night when Randy had called me crying, explaining how his ex girlfriend Kim had called. She had told him she was having his baby and didn't want to take care of it. He continued by saying how he didn't know how to tell Jasmine about her, and how he wasn't ready to take care of his child.

Standing up, he looked down on me. He told me how he and Kim had dated very briefly for about four months. They had fooled around one night and had broken up the next day. Kim was a heroin addict, a heavy heroin addict and was used to living in shelters. Randy had felt so sorry for her, because she was only 20, and had no family. They had eventually grown closer and Randy had begged her to go to a rehab center to clean herself up before they got married. He had even boughten her a ring. She refused and hit him over the head with a wine bottle. That was his last straw, he told her to get out of his house and his life. Now here she was, calling him nearly six months later, saying she was pregnant with his child.

I felt so bad for him, he wasn't ready for this. I stood up and hugged Randy while he cried heavily on my shoulder. I felt so helpless and confused, I felt like this was my fault. Somehow I knew it was. Every so often I would wipe Randy's tears away and he would look at me with his sad, blue eyes and cry again. After about an hour, I noticed Randy had stopped crying. We were now sitting on the bed, with Randy's head on my lap. He looked up at me and brought his face up to mine. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it just happened. Randy leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. His lips were wet from the tears, and I could taste the saltiness of his tears. Was I doing the right thing? No, probably not. But I just couldn't help myself, I didn't want him to feel like he was. I wanted him to feel good and to stop crying.

Maybe I did want Randy that night. Maybe it was the biggest mistake of my life, but whatever it was .. it was good. It started out kind of slow, with just kissing each other. Then as hands started to wander and we lay down on the bed, emotion poured out from the both of us. I pulled Randy down with me to lay down on the bed and kissed him. He lay down on top of me and began slowly kissing my neck, every inch of it as if not wanting to miss a single spot. My hand was holding the back of his neck and unbuttoning his shirt. He reached up under my tee shirt and pulled it over my head. Blood rushes all over my body and I get this feeling of adrenaline in me that I don't want to stop.

I pull away for a second to clear my mind and see if this is all real or just another dream I am having. I suddenly think about what is happening and pull away. What am I doing? I think to myself. Here I am having John's baby and about to have sex with his best friend. It felt wrong, dirty and unexpected. I picked up my shirt from the corner of the bed and slipped it back on. I looked over at Randy who was now wearing a very embarassed expression on his face. I went over to him and apologized, while touching his face. It was wrong to do this to John, but so tempting.

Randy stood up and came towards me. He reached out and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips. He kissed the face of my hand and then put my hand on his face. He thanked me for being here tonight with him and asked me if I could not tell John about this, I agreed. I didn't want him to know his best friend had almost gone the whole way with his pregnant wife. I hugged him once more and told him to call me tomorrow, after he talked to Jasmine. I left his house and went back to my house.

I felt so stupid. Here I was buying John's entire family gifts, having the child of a man I loved more than anything else in the world but yet, kissing his best friend. I went home and cried on my bed. Promising God, myself and John silently that I would never let this sort of thing happen again.