One Wild Night
"Of all the freaking times for your sisters to have a peanut butter, marshmallow fluff and coffee war!" Rogue swore as the team of Misfits and X-Men prepared for battle. "All we had to do is teleport a couple of us to where Zartan and Mystique are being held, grab 'em and get out. But nooooooo! Your sisters had to act like the uncontrollable loons they are and wreck the Mass Device!"
"Don't look at me! I'm not the one who created the mess in the first place!" Althea snapped. She glared at her father. "You just had to get them riled up didn't you?"
"All I did was ask them who they thought was the best American Idol," Shipwreck looked at her. "How was I supposed to know they would take it so seriously?"
"Because they're nuts that's why!" Althea snapped at him.
"They take after their father," Ororo grumbled.
"We'll just have to do it the hard way," Scott interrupted. "Go ahead Wolverine."
"All right, Team One," Logan called out. "Nightcrawler, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Rogue and Spirit: Your job is simple, get Mystique and Zartan the hell out of there. Team Two will take the route on the West Side of the building with me. That's Cyclops, Iceman, X23, Avalanche, Blob, Shipwreck, Roadblock and Low Light. Team Three will take the less direct route…"
"Meaning climbing up the East Side of the building," Todd groaned. "While everybody else takes the elevator."
"Wavedancer, Toad, Xi, Jean and Firestar…" Logan continued. "Storm you provide outside cover and wait for backup with Dragonfly, Arcade, Cover Girl, Lifeline, Jubilee and Boom Boom with the vans." He pointed to the two vans the teams had ridden in.
"Aw man that stinks," Tabitha grumbled. "We have to wait in the van while the rest of you see all the action? No fair!"
"Yeah maybe one of us should join team three?" Jubilee said. "I mean they don't have that many people."
"That's 'cause we kind of added a few people at the last minute," Todd pointed his thumb over his shoulder.
Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and Bill appeared out of the shadows. "Considering the circumstances I think it would be beneficial if a few ninjas were involved in this," Storm Shadow remarked.
"You just wanna slice up Zartan don't you?" Lance raised an eyebrow.
"Who doesn't wanna slice up Zartan?" Bill remarked.
"Oh goody," Logan groaned. "Mr. Happy is back. Well I guess three extra people can't hurt."
"Four actually," Bill motioned as Daredevil appeared from the shadows. "I brought a new friend. Calls himself Daredevil."
"I've heard of you," Jean said. "You've made a career of tangling with the Kingpin."
"Someone has to protect the innocent," Daredevil shrugged. "Besides I know Kingpin. He's bound to pull a few tricks."
"Yeah and something tells me there might be a few more that nobody knows about," Bill added.
"What, Spider Man was out of town?" Logan folded his arms. "Storm make with the fog. We don't want to cause any unnecessary attention."
Unfortunately that did not go according to plan.
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"Cor blimey, where'd this fog come from?" Buzzer scratched his head.
"Shut up and pay attention!" Destro snapped. "Against my better judgement Cobra Commander has decided to rescue Zartan and Mystique. Now listen up. Dreadnoks take the South stairwell and go up to where they are being held. My Iron Grenadiers will come in from the North from the air using these Trouble Bubbles." He pointed to some bubble like vehicles with jets and lasers on them. "Any questions?"
"Yeah can we use our motorcycles to ride up the stairs?" Torch revved his up. "That's always fun!"
"Fine, whatever…" Destro winced in agony. "Just don't rev them up too much in the halls! You'll give away our position!"
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Meanwhile up top in the highest room of the building the Kingpin and a few of his henchmen were having a meeting. In the middle tied up were Mystique and Zartan. On the other side of the room were several Red Ninjas, several Pride henchmen and the two Pride leaders ready to attack. "So the Red Ninjas decided to double cross me," Kingpin sighed. "Why am I not surprised by this turn of events?"
"You tried to double cross us," Hayes told him, he was wearing a brown and black ninja like outfit.
"The Red Ninjas do not take kindly to any form of betrayal," The lead Red Ninja said. "We deem you unworthy of our services."
"To be quite honest I don't really care about acquiring your services any more," Kingpin sniffed. "I have much more important goals."
"You mean the Hellfire Club?" Hayes folded his arms. "Like they'd accept a fat flatscan like you!"
"I don't see you getting any invitations," Kingpin growled. "Which means you're not as superior as you think you are."
"Beware Kingpin," Dean hissed, creating a rainbow colored wave from her hand. "Even without the Red Ninjas the Pride is more than formidable to deal with you."
"You're not the only ones with superpowers at his disposal," Kingpin snapped his fingers. Out of a hidden door some surprising faces showed up. "I take it you're familiar with my associates: Rhino, Bullseye, Scorpion, Dr. Octopus and…" He looked at a young, bald, beefy man with four arms. "Steve."
"Steve?" Hayes blinked.
"He's very new and he hasn't acquired a suitable pseudonym yet," Kingpin explained. "But he's shown a lot of promise and enthusiasm."
"Can we beat 'em up now boss?" Steve asked.
"Not yet, Steve…" Kingpin told him.
"Red Ninjas, take down the traitor and his mate!" One Red Ninja hissed. The Red Ninjas readied their weapons as well as the Pride's henchmen.
"You gotta go through us first," Rhino growled. The Kingpin's Henchmen tensed and readied to fight.
"It seems we have a bit of a stalemate here," Kingpin raised his eyebrow.
"Indeed," Dean raised her hand staving off the Pride's army. "A direct confrontation would be…unsuitable."
"Let's be logical about this…" The Kingpin sighed. "I want in the Hellfire Club, you want the Red Ninja and we all want these two dead. Surely we can come to some agreement?"
"We could all shoot 'em at the same time," One of Kingpin's henchmen suggested.
"Steve has a point," Dr. Octopus said.
"I have no problem with it," Hayes shrugged. "Red Ninjas?"
"Well it lacks the formality of a ritualistic sacrifice but it will have to do," The lead Red Ninja agreed.
"Uh wait a second here," Zartan gulped. "Maybe we can make a deal? I don't suppose we could buy our way out could we?"
"Yeah, they'll buy that," Mystique groaned. "Spineless twit. So much for a last minute rescue!"
Just then something happened. Kurt teleported between the two groups. "Hello!" Kurt waved weakly. "Goodbye!" He grabbed Zartan and Mystique and teleported off with them.
At that very moment, all Hell broke loose. For at the exact same time as the two combined teams of X-Men, Joes, Misfits and Daredevil broke in from the West and the East, the Cobras broke in from the North and the South. Needless to say it did not take long for everyone to start fighting with each other. It was complete pandemonium.
"Daredevil…" The Kingpin growled. "Of course you would show up to ruin this night!"
"Sure, single me out," Daredevil quipped as he kicked Bullseye.
Kurt had teleported Mystique and Zartan to the hallway. "Talk about cutting it close…" Zartan grumbled.
"Note it was my son and not your family that saved us!" Mystique told him. "Kurt untie us!"
The sound of revving motorcycles startled her. The Dreadnoks on their choppers tore at them. Panicking, Kurt teleported them back into the middle of the fray. "Why the hell did you bring us back here?" Zartan snapped as he ducked behind a table.
"Don't worry, I'll teleport you to safe…" Kurt began before a flying henchman hit him and knocked him out.
"So much for that plan," Rogue groaned as she flew over and started protecting Kurt, Mystique and Zartan. "You two are more trouble than you're worth you know that?"
"Shut up and help us out here!" Zartan tried to use an overturned table for cover.
The fight was fierce. Logan had just sliced off a few henchmen's weapons when suddenly he was pushed to the side by a bright rainbow colored blast. "What the…"
"Feel the wrath of the Pride, animal…" Dean hissed. Then she was blasted into a wall herself by Wanda's hex blast. "You'll pay for that!"
"What does it take to make you dead you red horned freak?" Bullseye screamed as he tossed several knives at Daredevil.
"Says the guy with a target on his back," Scott shot at him, knocking him down.
"Thanks for the assist," Daredevil flipped over Scott's head and knocked down a Red Ninja trying to attack Scott from behind. "Now we're even."
"Hold still you little…" Dr. Octopus hissed as he tried to catch Todd with his arms. Todd nimbly avoided him and then slimed him in the face. "AGGGH! THAT IS DISGUSTING YOU LITTLE…"
"This is nuts!" Scott shouted as he kept blasting. He noticed Jean was having trouble. "Jean…?"
"One of the Pride's a telepath!" Jean grunted as she countered with a mental assault of her own. "And a very good one!"
"So much for a nice clean rescue," Rogue grunted as she finished making a small barrier made of tables. Behind it she looked at Mystique, Zartan, the unconscious Kurt, and Lance who had a minor cut on his right arm. "You okay?"
"Yeah, nothing big…" Lance grunted. "Man its like a who's who of crazy people out there! It can't possibly get any worse!"
That was when the glass ceiling shattered and a huge helicopter lowered down. "It's time to pay the price!" The Punisher shouted as he started shooting from a machine gun. Everyone scattered and tried to avoid the gunfire.
"Who's this guy?" Rogue shouted.
"I haven't a clue," Mystique groaned. "Zartan?"
"Beats me," Zartan shrugged.
"He's called the Punisher," Bill told them as he jumped out of the fray for a moment. "A real nutcase whose idea of fighting crime is blowing criminals up."
"BURN IN HELL FAT MAN!" The Punisher shouted as he blasted away.
"I was so hoping we'd get this done before he showed up," Bill grumbled.
"You mean you knew this lunatic was going to be here?" Scott shouted as he and Todd tumbled into the small bunker.
"Yeah," Bill shrugged. "I didn't want you to worry."
"Thanks a lot!" Scott groaned before he blasted another weapon out of a henchman's hand.
"WHAT IS THIS? A FREAKING CONVENTION?" The Kingpin shouted. "WHO ELSE IS GOING TO SHOW UP TONIGHT? SPIDER MAN?"
"Well since you asked so nicely…" A familiar figure swung through one of the open windows and used his webbing to take out a few of the Kingpin's men.
"I had to ask…" Kingpin closed his eyes and winced.
"Spiderman! What are you doing here?" Todd cried out.
"I could see the explosions from across the city," Spiderman told him as he landed next to them. "And you know how much I love to crash a party. Quite a little gathering you got here."
"Yeah," Todd winced as Ororo fried the helicopter and forced the Punisher to jump from it. "A real blast!"
"Jean!" Scott shouted.
"I got it!" Jean blasted Hayes then used her telekinesis to throw the helicopter high into the sky where it exploded. As parts of destroyed helicopter rained down she told them. "Don't worry, there was no one else aboard."
"Oh good that mean's it'll be just us who will be killed!" Todd shielded his head.
Jean put up a shield to stop the debris from falling, but that didn't stop anyone else from fighting. Including Mystique who had gotten free of her constraints and was now strangling Zartan. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I WANT A DIVORCE! YOU HEAR ME!"
"This is better than a kung fu movie," Spiderman watched the action.
"Okay who is fighting who now?" Fred asked as he backed into someone. "I'm confused."
"Apparently the X-Men, GI Joe, Daredevil and the Misfits are fighting myself, the Pride, The Red Ninjas, The Dreadnoks and Cobra," Kingpin told him, too busy fighting to realize who he had backed into. "And vice versa. Also the Red Ninjas and the Pride are trying to take me out as well. So I have to take them out first! Mystique is throttling Zartan. The Punisher is fighting anyone who moves and Spiderman seems to be just sitting around and…Wait a minute…" He looked behind him and saw Fred. "Oh no…"
"Thanks!" Fred said cheerfully before punching him square in the jaw. The Kingpin sailed across the room. "That's all I wanted to know. And knowing is…"
"SHUT UP AND FIGHT!" Bill snapped as he ran by him with his sword drawn.
"I dunno who to clobber first…" Rhino snorted. Then some webbing hit his face. "HEY!"
"You know this is fun!" Spider Man jumped into the fray. "Uh oh, Doc Oc at twelve O'clock!"
"COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT YOU WALL CRAWLING…" Dr. Octopus shouted before some acid hit one of his tentacles and dissolved part of it. "AGGH! YOU IDIOT!"
"Sorry!" The Scorpion said. "I was aiming for the wall crawler! My tail slipped!"
"Yes, well one of my remaining tentacles tends to slip!" Dr. Octopus shouted as he sent a tentacle out and hit Scorpion.
Scorpion backed into Rhino who was trying to take off the webbing. "Outta my way shrimp!" Rhino shoved Scorpion hard.
"Don't call me names!" Scorpion shot acid at both Rhino and Dr. Octopus. Both took it personally and forgot about Spider Man to brawl with each other in the middle of the larger brawl.
"IMBACILES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FIGHT EACH OTHER!" Kingpin shouted. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT…" He looked at the chaos. "YOU KNOW WHAT, GO AHEAD! FIGHT EACH OTHER! BLOW EACH OTHER TO KINGDOM COME FOR ALL I CARE! I AM OUT OF HERE!" He fled the room with several of his loyal henchmen covering him.
"He's getting away!" Hayes shouted.
"Let him," Dean told him. "We have more important things to deal with back home. Besides, he'll be dead soon enough anyway!"
"Yeah, seems pointless considering we have an Armageddon to prepare for," Hayes grunted. "RED NINJAS! PRIDE! FALL OUT! RETREAT!"
"No! We will not leave until Zartan and his devil spawn are dead!" The Lead Red Ninja snapped.
"Fine! See if I care!" Hayes hissed. "I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with you!" The Pride started to retreat.
Meanwhile Zartan escaped from Mystique and ran out into the fighting. He jumped on Buzzer's motorcycle. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Cobra! Retreat!" Destro shouted as the Cobras left.
"He did it again…" Mystique said. "The bastard left me behind again!"
"Ohhh…" Kurt moaned as he regained consciousness. "What hit me this time?"
"This is starting to become a problem for you Elf," Todd told him. "Just get Mystique out of here and we'll blow this joint!"
"Yeah before we get blown up!" Rogue shouted. Kurt grabbed her hand as well as Mystique's and soon they were in the van.
"What the hell is going on up there?" Tabitha shouted as they materialized. The top of the building seemed to be on fire and police cars were clearly on the way.
"We ran into a few friends," Kurt grumbled.
"Where's Zartan?" Cover Girl asked.
"Don't know, don't care…" Mystique grunted. "SELFISH BASTARD!"
"He dumped you again so he could save his own hide huh?" Cover Girl looked at her.
"Yes!" Mystique hissed. "We need to get out of here before the…" She looked out the van window and saw several red figures with swords approaching. "Red Ninjas show up…"
"Oh great!" Cover Girl groaned as she opened fire. Arcade had laser beams gauntlets and used them. Jubilee and Tabitha used their powers as well but they barely slowed the ninjas down.
Suddenly large hailstones rained on the Red Ninjas! "Yeah! Go Storm!" Tabitha shouted. The others quickly made their way to the battle.
The next thing Kurt knew several Misfits jumped into the van with Logan. There was a furious exchange of personnel when suddenly Logan grabbed the steering wheel and took off. "The others are covering our escape!" Logan told them. In the van were Lifeline, Kurt, Mystique, Todd, Fred, Rogue, Lina, Pietro, Wanda, Lance and Jean.
"This is insanity!" Mystique clung for dear life.
"I feel like a canned squash," Todd grumbled.
"Get your foot out of my ear!" Pietro snapped.
"I can't believe we all made it," Lance groaned. "Or nobody was killed!"
"The night's not over yet," Wanda said. "Somehow a lot of those Ninjas are following us!" She pointed to the motorcycles behind them. "So much for a diversion!"
"I hope the others are okay," Rogue said.
"They'll be fine. All we have to worry about are a few dozen Red Ninjas on our tail," Logan grunted as he drove. "Other than that, no problems."
"Actually we have one more little problem…" Mystique grunted. "My water just broke. I'm in labor…"
"Great…" Logan rolled his eyes. "Just freaking great!"
Next: The big moment has arrived!