Chapter 6

Sawyer mentally prepared himself to shift. He had to be careful so as not to fall off the airplane chairs that have been his bed for who knows how long. Then suddenly, he remembered he wasn't lying on creaking, itchy airplane seats anymore. Damn, I've been on that island too long, keep wakin' up thinkin' am still there.

As what most people do first thing when they wake up, he checked his digital clock for the time. 9:56 p.m.? Yeah, new triple A's, damn, he thought, making another futile mental note. All of a sudden, remembering Kate telling him his clock needed new batteries, he immediately turned towards the other side of the bed only to find that Kate wasn't there. Instead, Sawyer noticed the bathroom door was a bit open; he heard the shower running, and was that Kate humming? He smiled, got up, walked towards the drawers near the bathroom, got a shirt, and planned to run some errands, not to mention get extra batteries.

Sawyer was sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for Kate to finish so he could at least brush his teeth and counting the money in his wallet realizing that he had to withdraw some cash from the bank, when Kate, wearing a white robe; stepped out of the bathroom door.

"I'm goin' out, run some errands; you need anythin'," Sawyer asked without looking up.

Without saying anything, Kate made her way to her backpack that was lying on the foot of the bed. She sat Indian style on the floor and mindlessly tinkered with the few things inside her bag. Finally, she pulled out a green shirt, one that she wore many times on the island, but didn't go on to put it on though.

"Know what, you can have a drawer," Sawyer offered, sincerely wanting Kate to feel more at home.

"What," Kate didn't really hear him the first time; her thoughts were on something else.

"I said, you can put your things inside a drawer," Sawyer said, pointing to the drawers beside the bathroom. "So you won't have to bother with that backpack," he continued.

Kate appreciated this and wished she could say something to assure Sawyer that she was grateful—for everything, even the littlest gestures. But unfortunately, she also wished that her backpack was actually what bothered her. For what significantly bothered her that morning, what made her almost instantly forget that she was initially so happy that she was singing in the shower, was the first thing Sawyer said to him—I'm goin' out, it kept on ringing in her head that she thought she was growing insane. It was not just the loneliness that troubled her; after all she had been alone many times before; it was the feeling of having to depend on someone the way she depended, the way she achingly needed Sawyer.

"Freckles," Sawyer started to talk. Kate was startled out of her thoughts, not realizing that Sawyer was already in front of her, squatting.

"I don't want you to go out; I don't want to stay here alone," Kate finally blurted out, deciding to leave out the crucial truth that she hated having to need someone because she wasn't sure whether or not Sawyer would get offended by such attitude, such pride.

"Kate," Sawyer said, surprising both himself and Kate that he actually said her name. "You don't have to worry about anythin', you got that," Sawyer continued, making sure that his voice sounded firm and steadfast. There was genuine concern in his eyes, but he didn't know what more there is to say to make Kate feel safe, to make her feel that he wasn't going to let anything happen to her. He placed his hand upon Kate's knee, wishing that Kate would somehow feel that he was going to protect her.

"We can just have food delivered, like you did yesterday," Kate weakly tried to persuade him, although she knew that Sawyer would by all means stay with her instead if only everything can actually be delivered.

"Trust me, Freckles, if everythin' can be delivered to my doorstep…," Sawyer said without continuing as he stood up and went inside the bathroom leaving the door open; his voice was already a bit impatient. "But that ain't how the world works, your highness," he added, and then went on to brush his teeth.

Kate didn't say anything and instead pulled out a black underwear from her backpack. She was clearly hurt, more because of the annoyed tone of Sawyer's voice than with the rudeness of his words. Sawyer wondered how he could instantaneously swing from being so concerned to being so irritated even with barely any provocation.

"I should go," Kate said out loud; she stood up and started to get dressed. Her voice was determined and her movements were reckless.

Sawyer gargled, grabbed a towel, wiped his face, and threw the towel hard on the floor. "Suit yourself, Freckles. It's not my concern," Sawyer said, the force in his voice was nothing compared to the rage in his heart.

"I wish I hadn't come here in the first place," Kate retorted; tears were blurring her eyes.

"You wish? You got what you came here for," Sawyer snapped back, although he really didn't know what Kate came to him for.

"This is a big mistake! You are a big mistake!"

"I'm a mistake? You're tellin' me that I am a mistake!"

"I should have stayed with Jack," Kate suddenly said, regretting it at the same moment it came out.

Sawyer glared at her and for the first time since she came, he didn't think she was beautiful. He grabbed his wallet, stormed down the stairs, and headed towards the door.

"Why are you walking out on me," Kate yelled from up the stairs. "That too hurtful for you, huh," she added, not understanding why she had the urge to provoke him more.

Suddenly Sawyer started up the stairs and darted towards Kate, fighting back the strong, dangerous urge to just hit her.

"I'm goin' out, walkin' out, so that you'll see me do what you didn't want me to do in the first place. And when I get back, it would do you best not to be here."

It was already dark when Sawyer got back. He parked his black F150, grabbed a few plastic bags, locked the truck, and headed towards the door. Then he stopped, afraid of what he might find inside, or rather, who he might not see inside.

He thought about Kate all day, of course. He wished she didn't mean anything she said, especially that part about Jack. He thought about himself too, his despicable temper and his vile tongue. He cursed himself too many times for making a big deal of something he could have, should have just let pass. Damn, where did that fight even start from? He wished today was different; he wished he was different. But most of all, he wished that Kate didn't take anything he said seriously and that she was inside waiting for him.

It took Sawyer a few more minutes to finally decide to open the door and to find out if Kate had stayed. Seeing the light in the kitchen was open, he hurriedly went over to check if she was there. She wasn't.

He immediately panicked. His feet were planted on the floor but his eyes wandered around, frantically searching for a trace of Kate. Then suddenly, his eyes were fixated on the living room's center table. For there, pressed under a remote control was a small folded sheet of paper; written in front was "Sawyer".