Attack of the Shipwreck Clones

"I can't believe they left us behind," Ray grumbled. He was walking down the hallway with Peter and Rina. "I mean you two are on the main team and I used to live with the Morlocks. It doesn't make sense to leave us behind."

"It makes perfect sense," Rina glared at him. "The Institute is the target of many of our enemies. With most of the main team gone our defenses are lower. Colossus and I are here not only in case of backup but if someone attacks."

"And the way our luck has been going the chances of that happening are pretty good," Peter agreed. "Besides Ray you are not even on the main team. The Professor probably thought you did not have enough experience."

"I've had plenty of experience," Ray snapped. "I helped beat the pants off the Acolytes when they attacked. Not to mention all the fights with Cobra, Apocalypse, The Misfits…"

"What's he complaining about now?" Everett asked as he joined up with them.

"He's whining about being left behind," Rina growled. "If he wasn't such an immature weakling…"

"I am not weak!" Ray snapped at her. "I mean they took Bobby of all people with them! And he's the most immature guy here! You can't possibly tell me that…"

Suddenly three cartoonish short versions of Shipwrecks ran out of a room. They looked at the students and blinked. Then they did a little song and dance.

"We represent the Shipwreck Guild! The Shipwreck Guild, the Shipwreck Guild…" The cartoon Shipwrecks danced. "We represent the Shipwreck Guild…And now we're gonna go play with all your stuff!" They ran off.

The four mutants were stunned. "We all saw that right?" Everett asked. "It's just not me that snapped?"

"What were those things?" Rina blinked. "They looked and smelled like Shipwreck but they weren't."

"Oh no…" Peter groaned. "Not them again!"

"What are they?" Rina asked.

"Shipwreck clones," Peter told her. "Why did it have to be Shipwreck clones?"

"Shipwreck clones?" Rina asked.

"Who would make clones of Shipwreck?" Everett asked.

"Mojo would," Ray groaned. "Well technically Shipwreck made them but he did it with Mojo's machine."

"What you said made absolutely no sense," Everett looked at him.

"It's a long story," Peter said. "We have to get them before they…"

"Find Storm!" Ray shouted. "Oh man!"

"We'd better get the Professor and track them down before they track Storm down!" Peter shouted. He and Ray ran off to warn the Professor and Ororo.

"Why couldn't I be in the sewers with the others?" Ray moaned.

"Do you have any idea what is going on?" Everett looked at her.

"I never know what is going on around here," Rina grumbled as they decided to give chase as well.

Meanwhile Ororo was in the bathroom preparing to take a long bath. She was wearing a green robe and had her hair in a loose ponytail. She had turned on the water and was searching the cabinet for some bath oil. She turned around and prepared to put some in.

Only to find a Shipwreck clone in the tub. "Hey toots!" He grinned. "Want me to scrub your back?"

"AAHHH!" Ororo screamed. Startled she created a blast of lighting and hit the Shipwreck in the water.

"BBLALLALABLABBAAAAAHHHH!" The Shipwreck smoldered. He turned black all over, except for his eyeballs. "Does that mean no?"

"AGGHH!" Ororo could not get out of the bathroom fast enough. She slammed the door behind her. "That did not happen. I am seeing things. That did not happen!"

"We can make a lot of things happen!" Four Shipwreck clones were at her feet holding flowers.

"AAHHHHH!" Ororo screamed and ran away.

"Storm! Storm! Storm! Storm!" The Shipwreck clones chased her through the mansion.

In the kitchen Hank and several other students were having lunch. They startled when they heard the sound of thunder and lightning. "It's not supposed to rain today is it?" Hank asked.

"Not that I heard of," Betsy remarked. "It's Storm. She's upset about something. I can feel it."

"What could she be upset about?" Dead Girl asked.

"The only thing that makes her this mad is…." Hank opened a cupboard. "SHIPWRECK!"

"He's here?" Dead Girl asked.

"YOU BET I AM!" A Shipwreck clone popped out of the cupboard splatting Hank with a pie. "Whoo hoo!"

"Banana cream…" Hank stood there. "Why couldn't it be chocolate?"

"Here ya go!" the Shipwreck clone banged him again. "I aim to please! Whoop! Whoop!" He ran out of the room.

"What the hell was that?" Dead Girl yelled.

"Oh no…" Tabitha groaned. "Not them again!"

"Them? Who's them?" Paige asked.

"It's…" Amara began when suddenly several more Shipwreck clones popped out and started spraying the students with flour and silly string.

"Run!" Sam ordered. Several of the students scrambled for cover.

"Take that you little…" Tabitha made several time bombs.

"Tabby! No don't…" Sam began.

BOOM! BOOM!

"Never mind…" Sam groaned.

"Didn't we just fix that wall?" Betsy groaned.

"Missed me!" One Shipwreck clone danced around. "Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!"

"Kiss this you little…" Tabitha tried to make a bomb only to be swatted in the face with a pie. The Shipwrecks laughed as they ran away. "YEAH YOU'D BETTER RUN YOU LITTLE FREAKS!"

"What the hell were those?" Tim brushed silly string from his hair. "And you guys say I cause a lot of damage?"

"Guys we have trouble!" Ray and the others ran in. "We're being invaded by…" He looked at Hank. "They were here weren't they?"

"Yes," Hank grumbled.

"Who? Who were they? And what were those things that looked like Shipwreck clones?" Betsy asked.

"They were Shipwreck clones," Sam told her.

"Shipwreck clones?" Paige asked.

"First Logan gets a clone and now Shipwreck?" Everett asked.

"Three guesses who sent them?" Ray grumbled.

A portal suddenly opened and two figures appeared. "You rang?" Mojo grinned.

"That's right, just rub it in…" Spiral sighed.

"What is going on here? Who is this clown?" Betsy asked.

"His name is Mojo," Hank grumbled as he wiped the pie off his face. "He's a deranged ruler of another dimension whose whole life revolves around television."

"So other than the fact that he's in charge of an entire dimension, he's pretty much like the average teenage kid?" Tim asked. "Or Fanfiction writer?"

"Precisely," Hank nodded. "Mojo I thought you promised never to videotape us again?"

"Actually I only agreed not to film you guys as a show for profit," Mojo said. "I never said anything about guest appearances on other shows of mine. When Shipwreck Clones Attack is pure gold in the ratings! You guys are always good for ratings! It's a smash hit! Besides its not like you guys ever signed a contract or anything!"

"Sorry guys," Spiral shrugged. "Technically he's got a point."

"And that means…" Mojo grinned.

"PARTY TIME!" The Shipwreck clones shouted as they ran through the room.

"Have fun!" Mojo cackled as he and Spiral disappeared through the portal.

"Mojo you fat sack of lard!" Tabitha screamed. "Come back here and fight like a man you freak!"

"We're in serious trouble aren't we?" Dead Girl asked.

"AAHHHHHH!" Xavier sped by on a jet-powered wheelchair.

"Oh yeah…" Hank put his hand on his head.

"Why couldn't I have been sent to the sewers with the others?" Ray moaned.

Three hours later…

"Is the Professor still out cold?" Roberto asked.

"What do you think?" Tim pointed to a Xavier shaped imprint in the wall.

"It wouldn't do any good to have him up," Betsy said. "They're immune to my telepathy."

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Rina screamed as she chased two around with her claws straight out.

"And they are very, very nimble little buggers," Betsy added.

"I love Storm!" One Shipwreck clone clung to Ororo's leg as she wandered about. "I love Storm!"

"Make them go away…" Ororo moaned. "Somebody please make them go away…"

"Why don't you just zap them?" Ray asked.

"It only makes them want me more…" Ororo whined.

"BOOTY!" Three Shipwrecks ran by carrying underwear and bras.

"I TOL DYOU TO STAY OUT OF MY DRAWERS!" Ororo screamed as she chased them the best she could with the Shipwreck on her leg.

"We have to do something," Paige said. "They're everywhere!"

"There's a dozen of them in the upstairs bathroom having a water fight," Rahne said.

"Every time we knock one down or lock one up, three more show up!" Roberto said. "It's like Mojo went into overdrive making extras."

"Yeah it's not hard to knock 'em down," Tim blasted one only to have it get up again. "It's getting them to stay down that's the problem!"

"One two three la conga!" Several Shipwrecks danced in a conga line. "One two three la conga!"

"How much longer do we have to put up with this nonsense?" Rahne shouted.

"Until Mojo gets bored or we find a way to kill them all," Warren grumbled. "Either way is fine with me."

"Well at least this insanity is confined to the Institute," Betsy groaned.

"Wanna bet?" A Shipwreck clone turned on the TV.

"This is a special news report," An anchorman spoke. "Just now the Mayor's office was invaded by strange little people dressed up like sailors."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Mayor Chandler ran from a group of Shipwreck clones shooting him with whipped cream guns. "YOU CRAZY MUTANT FREAKS!"

A glop of whipped cream hit the anchorman. "So far security has been unsuccessful in capturing them." He said. "This just in, local anchorman quits!"

"Oh god they're loose!" Hank groaned. "Of course they'd go trash the Mayor's office! Why not go after Senator Kelly why they're at it?"

"Now why didn't I think of that?" Mojo's face appeared on the screen. "Thanks Beast!"

Suddenly the screen changed to the Senate floor. Senator Kelly was speaking. "Ladies and Gentlemen we must do something about the Taxes!"

"I say we do something about the carpet!" A strange little voice said.

"No the taxes!" Kelly snapped. "What the…?"

A little Shipwreck clone popped up next to him. "He's right. We gotta take the taxes up before you can roll up the carpet. Badum Bum!" He then smashed Kelly's face with a pie and ran off laughing.

"Beast…" Warren twitched. "DON'T EVER GIVE MOJO ANY IDEAS!"

"You gotta admit it makes C-Span a lot more interesting," Tim remarked. He flipped the channel. "Look they set a house on fire downtown. Hey isn't that Duncan Matthews' place?"

"Okay that's it!" Hank threw up his arms. "This situation is completely out of control! MOJO!"

"Yeeeeessssssss?" Mojo popped out of a portal.

"Take these stupid Shipwrecks out of here now!" Hank roared.

"Aw come on," Mojo grinned. "I'm getting some great stuff here! I could easily get a whole season's worth of stuff with you guys!"

"And I am going to…" Betsy began when another portal appeared. "Now what?"

"Hi guys!" Longshot walked out of it. The portal remained open. "Sorry about all of this."

"Longshot where have you been?" Hank moaned.

"Longshot?" Jubilee asked. "Who's he?"

"A friend of ours," Tabitha said.

"Yeah like he can do anything to me," Mojo cackled.

"Don't worry guys," Longshot waved. "I have an idea. Come on out kids!"

"Kids?" Mojo blinked. "Oh no…Not them! Anything but them!"

"Never fear because the X-Babies are here!" Baby Wolverine popped out with several X-Babies.

"Logan has another clone?" Rina stopped chasing the Shipwrecks and blinked. "How many does that man need?"

"Don't forget the Misfit Babies!" Baby Toad hopped out with many Baby Misfits.

"The X-Babies?" Doug looked at them. "And Misfit Babies?"

"Don't ask…" Hank moaned. "It's a long story."

"It was Another Week of Random Madness," Tabitha rolled her eyes.

"Okay Mojo you know the drill," Longshot folded his arms. "Call off the Shipwrecks and I'll call off the kids."

"No way!" Mojo snapped. "You're bluffing!"

"Am I?" Longshot raised an eyebrow. "FIRST SQUADRON!"

Suddenly a huge army made up of Baby Avalanches, Colossuses, and Shadowcats appeared. "We're ready Mr. Longshot," A Baby Shadowcat said sweetly.

"Let's rock this place!" A Baby Avalanche shouted.

"Mother…" Mojo's eyes went wide.

"ATTACK!" Baby Logan shouted as all the kids tackled Mojo.

"An army of Baby Avalanches, Baby Shadowcats, and Baby Colossuses?" Jubilee looked at Hank.

"That's another long story," Hank groaned. "An Avalanche of Avalanches actually."

"You guys have the weirdest friends you know that?" Everett looked at him.

"Shouldn't the correct term be Baby Colossi or something?" Betsy thought aloud.

"GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!" Mojo screamed as the baby mutants attacked. "YOU WIN! YOU WIN! I'LL CALL THEM OFF! JUST GET THESE BRATS OFF OF ME!"

"You better do it Mojo," Longshot told him. "Remember what they did to your awards?"

"Fine, Fine…" Mojo said as the baby mutants backed off. He pushed a button. Suddenly all the Shipwrecks disappeared. "They're gone! I put a transmitter in each of them so that they'll teleport to wherever I want. Just keep them those rotten kids away!"

"And you won't send them back here?" Hank folded his arms.

"You have my word!" Mojo said.

"Forget your word! We want it in writing!" Tabitha shouted.

"Fine!" Mojo snapped is fingers and a piece of paper appeared. "I Mojo blah blah blah… Promise not to send the Shipwreck clones to torment the X-Men or Misfits again…Blah blah blah, sign it, document it…" He handed it to Hank. "Now can I go?"

"One more thing…" Hank grinned. "Ororo…"

"This is gonna hurt…" Mojo gulped as Ororo charged up. "YEOWWWW! I WAS RIGHT!" He fell backwards into his portal.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" Ororo screamed. The invaders left and soon the X-Men were alone in their trashed mansion.

"Well this was a fun day," Ray said sarcastically. "The mansion gets trashed again, the Mayor is ticked off at us again, and the people of Bayville have a new reason to hate mutants…Again!"

"And Senator Kelly has been made a fool of again," Warren sighed. "It's pretty much become a running joke by now."

"This town is never going to accept us is it?"Hank groaned. "I wonder how many lawsuits we're going to get this time?"

"Kill…Kill…Kill…" Ororo twitched as she walked away with a glazed look in her eyes.

"Shipwreck's a dead man too isn't he?" Roberto asked.

"That's pretty much a given," Hank sighed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Several hours later…

"So that's why everything here is such a mess," Scott groaned. A huge group of Misfits, Joes and X-Men were in the kitchen drinking coffee. "And I thought we had a rough day."

"Yeah, nearly getting blow up and fighting giant lizards from outer space and a crazy colonel hopped up on meds seems pretty tame compared to that," Lance admitted.

"Ever notice we never really have 'normal' days?" Kurt asked.

"How long have you been around here?" Todd looked at him. "The only normal thing about us is that nothing is normal."

"You're right," Jean sighed. "I've always tried to deny it but…Maybe we aren't normal. I mean even for mutants our lives are pretty weird."

"Wow, you of all people actually admitting that?" Althea was surprised. "That doesn't sound like you."

"Well," Jean rested her head on her arm. "You can't have two different teachers from two different colleges go berserk on you in under one month without doubting how normal your situation is."

"Maybe that's why both our groups have such trouble getting new people?" Fred thought aloud.

"I know I never would have come here if I'd known," Doug sighed. "Now that I think about it, for a group of selfish psychopathic maniacs planning world domination…The Hellions weren't all bad. We had team cookouts every last Friday of the month."

"We do seem to be in a constant quagmire of quirks and bizarre circumstances," Hank sighed. "Which reminds me has Storm finished beating up Shipwreck yet?"

Logan looked out the window. Ororo was straddling Shipwreck and pummeling him with her fists. He was lying on the ground trying to protect himself. "OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Not yet," Logan told them. "I'd give her a few more hours."

"Well at least that's one thing that's normal around here," Scott sighed.

"It's the only thing that's normal around here," Rogue moaned.

Next: I think it's time I tried to advance the plot of this story a little. Such as it is…Just have to decide which part of the plot first. Oh wait, I know…