My Only Love

By Ruki Minamoto

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Never have, never will.

Author's note: This chapter contains references to suicide and suicide itself, but it isn't suicide as you may think it is. It's more like in Sailor Moon, when Princess Serena throws herself into death to be with Prince Darien. I thought I would point it out first. I really apologise to fans of Mimi for what I'm about to make her do. I'm very sorry.

Epilogue: Goodbyes

"We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a dear friend," the priest said sincerely,

"Jyo Touya Kido."

All of the Digidestined were there, dressed in formal black. Even TK and Kari had come, even though Tai and Matt had said that they really didn't need to.

But Kari had insisted on coming, and Tai had learned long ago that there were some things that you just didn't argue about with Kari.

Mimi was sobbing violently. Everyone had offered Mimi a hug, but she had refused every single one of them.

She didn't want a hug from Sora or Matt or even Kari - she wanted a hug from Joe. She wanted him so badly. She didn't know what she would do just to get him back in her life.

Maybe he had only been there to teach her something. Maybe he had only been a romance to let her realise love.

But maybe Joe's death was a mistake and she was meant to follow him.

No, Mimi decided finally. She couldn't leave her friends and family. They needed her too.

But so did Joe.

Mimi lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She hadn't moved in at least two days, and she knew that she was worrying her friends and family, but she didn't care anymore. Life was so pointless these days.

She just walked around in a sort of half-existence, alive to make her friends and family happy.

Then she realised that this couldn't go on. How long could you go on, pretending to enjoy life when you were really longing for the one you loved?

She sat up and grabbed her black jacket. Lately, she only wore black and white. That was her world.

When the powers that be had stolen Joe, they had stolen her colours too.

She rode her hot pink bike (which she perceived as some shade of grey these days) over to the Kamiya's apartment. She had lost weight since that night, a month ago. But that hardly surprised her. She didn't eat much at all anymore.

She didn't see the point.

She rang the Kamiya's doorbell and waited for an answer.

Kari opened the door shyly.

"Hi Mimi."

Mimi nodded.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Are you sure?" Kari asked. "Do you really think that I'm the one you want to talk to?"

Mimi nodded again.

"Yes. I want to talk to you."

Kari shrugged to herself and led Mimi to the room that she shared with Tai.

"Leave us alone, Tai," she said, "please."

Tai nodded and gathered his books.

"Sure, Kari."

Kari sat on her chair and let Mimi sit on the bed.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Joe."

"Why talk to me?" Kari asked again. "You should really be talking to Izzy or Matt…they

knew Joe better than I did."

"I don't want to talk about him really," Mimi said, "but I need some advice concerning him and I wanted to talk to you because I knew that you would give me some unbiased information."

Kari shrugged and rested her chin in her hands.

"Talk away."

"Well, I really miss Joe…"

"Don't we all?" Kari asked.

"Yeah, but…I can't get him out of my mind. We were meant to be and…I can't bear living like this right now. My whole world is black and white right now. I can't even tell what colour shirt you have on right now." Mimi said sadly.

"It's pink." Kari supplied. "But you'll get over that. You keep reminding yourself about how sad you are, so you aren't moving on. Rely on us - your friends - and you'll start to heal."

"But I won't," Mimi sighed. "You can't possibly understand. What if TK or Tai died…would you just move on'?"

Kari shook her head honestly.

"No," she admitted, "but you aren't making this any easier on yourself."

Mimi looked away.

"I don't know how to say this…"

"Spit it out!" Kari cried, which was very uncharacteristic of her.

"I want to join Joe!" Mimi cried. She watched Kari's body language as she realised what Mimi had just said.

"You want to what?" she cried. "But you can't!"

"Why not?" Mimi asked. "I'm miserable now and I can't stand this pain anymore."

Kari slapped Mimi across the face.

"I hope you come to your senses before you do something that you may not live to regret!"

Kari stormed out angrily. Mimi knew that Kari was angry…very angry. Kari didn't get angry very often. But when she did, you had better watch out.

Mimi had made a very difficult decision. She could never tell her parents, or friends, but she knew that, in some weird way, she was doing the right thing.

She climbed into the elevator of the apartment block the Kamiya's lived in, but instead of going down, she went up. Up to the roof.

Mimi walked over to the edge and looked down over the busy street below and realised that she had better let her friends know.

She quickly scribbled a note on a piece of pink rose notepaper in her pocket and a tiny lead pencil.

I'm sorry, my dear friends. I know that you will think that I have done a foolish, foolish thing, but it is what I must do. By the time you find this note, if everything goes to plan, I will be in Joe's arms once more.

Sincerely forever: Mimi Tachikawa'

Mimi then sat the note under a rock and climbed onto the ledge. She looked down again and then out at the clouds.

For the first time since Joe died, she saw colours. She felt a strange feeling of fear, for just a moment, but swept it away.

She focused, far beyond the clouds, and saw a smiling blue-haired boy, calling to her, his arms open wide.

Mimi smiled back at him and jumped, to be in his arms forever.

Author's note: You may now see why I apologised to fans of Mimi. She throws herself into death to be with Joe forever. Romantic, eh? Anyway, I don't suggest suicide to anyone going through the same thing, instead, talk to friends and family and counsellors. Suicide IS NOT the answer. As I said before, this is like Sailor Moon how Mimi joins Joe once more, so please don't leave any nasty messages. I can't stress enough that suicide is not the answer, so don't, please don't think of doing it.