Disclaimer- If I owned them, which I don't, I would clone them so all you guys could have them too

Cuddy's office 11.15am

Cuddy filed the notes away on the Fry kid. And as she did so, she became aware of a presence behind her. Primarily because the said presence was tugging on the tail of her jacket. Like a demanding child trying to get its mother's attention in a toy shop.

'House, you want something by any chance?' she enquired without even turning round, knowing full well it would be him.

'Thank God, you've finally come to your sense. Thought you'd never see the light. Might wanna draw the blinds first. Don't want to upset the queue of adoring females I got outside waiting for me.' He sighed a long drawn-out sigh. 'So many women, so little time. Course, if you let me off a few more clinic duties, I could fix that. Work my way through them, give performance reviews a whole new meaning. Should have gone into OB-GYN, much more fun than kidneys.'

'Cute, very cute. And also as much chance of it ever happening as you have of winning the 1500m in the next Olympics.'

House grabbed at his chest, seemingly in pain. 'Oh, now you've really hurt me. I had totally forgotten I only had the one good leg, and you go open up the wound all over again.'

Cuddy sat down in her chair, and looked wearily at House. 'I'm very busy, is this going to take long?'

'Well, that depends if you want foreplay or not. Your call. Trust me, you'd want the Super-Deluxe package. Also known as the Full-House. C'mon, how you gonna know unless you try?'

'Gee, thanks, and it's not even my birthday. As tempting as this offer is, I kind of get the feeling it would be like having sex with a flamingo. Something I do not wish to experience.'

House smirked. 'Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. Don't leave it too long though, in women your age, their once perky bits start heading pretty quickly to the Southern Hemisphere. I mean, I'm fine with it, but you might struggle with the fact that you can no longer see your belly.'

House sat down in the seat opposite. 'House, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in the clinic by now? Or rather avoiding me catching you not being in the clinic?'

House helped himself to a candy from the jar on Cuddy's desk. 'Foreman's got it covered. All taken care of. Clarkson is checking in on the Fry kid and Chase is doing a differential diagnosis on himself, so he might be a while.'

'And Cameron?'

House shifted uneasily in his chair. 'Cameron? Cameron is baking cookies or crocheting, doing whatever women do just prior to their afternoon nap.'

'Or...?'

'Or, I have no idea. Last seen in the lab, trying to outstare a microscope. Microscope won. At this present time, she is AWOL.'

Cuddy sighed. 'What did you say or do this time? You really should try and work on your people skills. I'll see if I can't get you booked in to a course on the subject.' She flipped open her diary. 'Give her a break, she's young and thinks very highly of you.'

House began fiddling with his cane. 'Not as highly as the new kid on the block. Very metrosexual, not really my style. I mean moisturiser's for girls, right?'

Cuddy, sensing a nerve had been touched, decided to probe further. 'She has a thing for Dr. Clarkson? Really? Mind you, she's only human, who wouldn't? He's a sweetie.'

House gagged. 'Oh no, not you as well. What is it with your sex? One minute, you're all burning your bras and embracing armpit hair, the next you expect roses around the door, men to pull out chairs for you and goodie bags from Victoria's Secret on the pillow. And we're expected to jump through these ever-changing hoops, just on the off-chance we may get our leg over. Fickle, the lot of you.'

Cuddy smiled. 'Fickle, no. Choosy, yes. And with good reason. Don't tell me your nose is out of joint, House? Little green-eyed monsters burrowing into your brain? What's the matter? Cameron not hot for teacher anymore?'

House grimaced. 'Bah! How could she not be? Just look at me. I got it goin' on as I believe the kids are saying these days. Nope, I was just concerned that she may get distracted in her role, now that someone is putting a spring in her step, song in her heart and notch in her bedpost.'

Cuddy straightened her back. 'Are you actually saying you have a real concern about her ability to do her job, or is this just House double-talk for you being unable to concentrate on your work because your former puppet is having her strings pulled by someone else? Because if it's the former, I'll call her in here and find out what's going on.'

'And if it's the latter?'

Cuddy smiled knowingly. 'If it's the latter, I'd suggest you get off your stubborn behind and act now, or let the ship sail altogether. To quote your mentor Jagger, "If you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need". But hey, who am I? Since when have you ever listened to a word I say. What's Dr. Wilson's take on the situation?'

'There is no situation. Nothing to have a take on. I was worried that her new found boy-toy may interfere with her work. Now I'm not. I take it back.' Unnerved that he may have said too much already, House got up from his seat, helping himself to a handful of candy as he did so. 'Well, it's been a blast, Dr. Cuddy, but unlike you, I cannot just sit around all day, frittering away the hours. My people need me. And as you know, I'm a real people pleaser.'

'That's it. Now you're off, without actually telling me why you came in here in the first place?'

House turned to look at her as he placed his hand on the door. 'I like to give the girls and boys something to talk about, brighten their otherwise dull and ordinary lives. Like them to think you're getting your daily dose of House-lovin'. Wouldn't want you to get withdrawal symptoms and I got a reputation to preserve. Remember, if you change your mind about the horizontal hoochy-coochy, all you gotta do is page me.'

He winked at her as her left the office. Cuddy reflected briefly on their conversation as she flipped her diary shut. He obviously had it bad if he was trying to get some sort of reaction out of her about Cameron's relationship with Clarkson. But there was just no getting through to him. Such an as, she thought, as she paged Dr. Cameron.