Lilo's Secret Diary!
Type: one-shot!
Summary: Lilo after a hard day's work catching and finding the one true purpose for an experiment discovers to her horror that Jumba has read her diary! Lilo's deepest darkest secrets are revealed as chaos and occasional and raunchy humor reins!
This is my first true humor fic so please bear with me and no insults or flames about male/male pairings or anything like that.
Genre: general/but with random humor!
Pairings: various experiment pairings; all are male slash Lilo/Angel very slight one sided Jumba/Pleakley!
Rating: T!
All was peaceful and quiet (for the moment) inside the Pleakley household and at that moment Dr. Jumba Jookiba officially a former evil genius who unofficially still did experiments of illegal genetic nature occasionally was now substituting for his annoying friend and companion Wendy Pleakley who was at a cross-dressers convention for the day and therefore Jumba was cleaning up the house specifically at the moment Lilo and Stittch's dome shaped room.
He was still growing and mumbling about this latest demeaning task when he spotted something unusual about the large brown wood chest he was cleaning Lilo's old toys out of… out of boredom and frustration he brought his fist down hard on the wood bottom and there was an echo that came from that small section of the chest… it was hollow!
He taped it several times to make sure it was hollow and then he accidentally touched a certain carving there that was shaped like a button and then the panel slid back revealing a small book with a red front cover a green spine and a purple back; there were words in gold foil that said Lilo's Private Diary: Keep Out!
Read this and I will personally kill you, beat you up, or pull some evil, mischievous, and humiliating prank on you or all three… if it comes to that!
You have been warned!
Despite the violent and horrible warning Jumba being the evil genius that he was ignored the threats and opened the book… Thus he became immersed in his reading of the book… the first few pages were an explanation of the book's contents as well as a sort personality and characteristics profile on each of the persons mainly involved in the diary with none of the authors opinions on them; simply straightforward descriptions.
Jumba forgot all about his cleaning job which was just as well because David; Nani's occasional boyfriend had just dropped off Pleakley who left the convention early because the other members of the convention had told him he had bad taste in clothing they also criticized him because of this one eye (which they considered to be a deformity) and most importantly of all they called him a fruit; which to him didn't make any sense.
The moment Pleakley walked up the steps Jumba started to come down from upstairs veer the elevator still reading the book! They almost ran into each other but they then noticed each other at the same time as Jumba looked up from the book at Pleakley and suddenly thought for no apparent reason skinny one eyed creature looks rather good in that dress. What is evil genius thinking…? I am not a same gender preference individual!
A minute later Jumba took a quick nap… he soon awakened and a few seconds afterward a very tired and annoyed Nani came home after working hard at her job almost all day… speaking of jobs Lilo Stitch and Angel were coming home from their's… namely catching and reforming (AKA finding the one true place for…) their extraterrestrial ohana!
The job was easier now that Angel was here for she could simply turn them from evil to good by singing her song which had been reprogrammed by Jumba so that the evil experiments could be turned good.
A month ago Gantu's latest attack in order to get an experiment had destroyed the house (again!) and so… house had been rebuilt with the help of the good experiments bigger and better than before!
Angel had a room downstairs, Jumba and Pleakley now had separate rooms, Jumba had a bigger laboratory, and in the back of the house there was now a gymnasium where the experiments could practice their powers.
As for Gantu he had gotten a severe thrashing the time he had caused the house to be rebuilt and had not been seen from sense apparently either fired or dead as a result of his injuries.
Stitch and Angel's relationship was going strong but slowly however appearances as you shall soon see can be deceiving…
Lilo Stitch and Angel walked through the door with smiles of accomplishment knowing that another experiment was happy and productive however soon everything would change…
(A/N: random 'sometimes raunchy' humor will now begin… thank you!)
Everyone with the exception of Jumba sat down in the living room and for few moments they were bored but then…
Suddenly Jumba stared in shock at what he had just read and said "little girl likes other little girls. Lilo stared at him and then said with growing horror" you're reading my diary?"
He ignored her and said 'little girl is actually genius child prodigy with a very raunchy mind… she has sexual fantasies about Keoni whom she believes is gay… she believes that I am homosexual and that I and the one eyed skinny Cyclops are lovers."
She has a long time went to ask bigger girl for dating and sex tips… she believes all my experiments are homosexual and she has seen 625 and 221 kiss!"
Lilo muttered "Sparky's goanna be so pissed"
According to this diary 258 has proposed to613, 344 and 360 are sleeping together and it has nothing to do with rest,608 and 604 are going out, and 150 wants to ask 624 out!" "yuck" said Angel.
Nosey suddenly appeared and said" hi guys me and Melty are back from the beach after just having s…!" Lilo silenced him with one enraged look.
Lilo added and if you think that's bad then you don't even want know what Finder is doing with Elastico!"
"Little girl has and sexual fantasies about 150 608 626 and 624 the last two she also has romantic feelings for."
"Ick that's disgusting" said Stitch who had been taking language lessons from Jumba. Angel however stayed behind Lilo's hand blushingly with a warm loving smile. Lilo then said oh well one out of two isn't bad"
Nani then screamed with fury "Lilooooo…!"
Jumba then said the with great calmness" bigger girl perhaps you should read through this book and you may understand what a truly tortured soul your sister is and how much she needs 624's love!"
Nani reluctantly read the book that had caused her so much fury and eventually started to cry as she realized that Jumba was right and that her sister was not nearly as happy as she always appear and that she suffered much great mental anxiety and psychological drama sense their parents's deaths and so her sister forgave Jumba and Nani somewhat reluctantly excepted her sister's bisexuality and they lived happily ever after! Nuff Said!