You Know What Hits the Fan

"I can't believe you people!" Fury stormed into the briefing room at SHEILD headquarters. "I send you on a simple assignment to find four kids and what do I get? Two major explosions that wreck two streets, reports of you in shoot outs with the locals…Just basically the same chaos and insanity which has become your trademark!"

The Misfits were taking this all in stride. Cover Girl had gone with the kids this time. "Don't forget wecaptured and tookover a dozen gang members off the streets," She pointed out.

"Yeah and into the hospital!" Fury snapped.

"You said so yourself half of them had outstanding arrest warrants for other crimes," Angelica pointed out.

"So you got lucky! Big deal! You still wrecked a good chunk of LA!" Fury snapped.

"And you're shocked at this?" Logan asked as he walked into the room.

"What are you doing here, Logan?" Cover Girl asked.

"Fury said he had some leads for me about Omega Red," Logan told him. "I came to check it out. Besides I had to get out of the mansion. The kids were driving me crazy!"

"I know the feeling," Cover Girl nodded.

"For crying out loud what are you doing?" Fury screamed at Xi. He was happily cutting out pictures and putting them in colorful photograph books on one of the tables.

"It's part of Xi's therapy," Todd was helping him. "Psyche-Out's orders."

"I like scrapbooking," Xi grinned. "I find it calming."

"Wonderful…" Fury rolled his good eye. Then he noticed something. "Xi did you take this picture?" He picked it up.

"Yes," Xi nodded. "I am a good photographer."

"When did you take this?" Fury asked.

"About two days ago at the place where the X-Girls are staying," Pietro told him.

"Look we're making progress on the Runaways…" Althea began. "Despite a few setbacks…"

"Forget the Runaways!" Fury snapped. "You can track them down later. They're not important! Not anymore!"

"What do you mean?" Lance asked.

"Do you know who this woman is?" Fury pointed at Hope's picture.

"Jubilee's Aunt Hope," Fred answered. "So?"

"This woman is known as the Black Mantis," Fury explained. "One of China's deadliest assassins before she went rogue. Ten years ago she rebelled against her government to work for the people she was sent to destroy. I guess she found the pay better."

"I knew there was something about her that smelled funny!" Logan growled.

"She's been on Interpol's most wanted list for years!" Fury said. "In addition to killing off several government officials and being tied to one of the most powerful crime syndicates in Asia, she's stolen more money than the Thieves' Guild and Hydra combined!"

"I thought you guys did a background check on her?" Cover Girl asked Logan.

"We did!" Logan snapped.

"Did I forget to mention she's also a computer expert?" Fury sighed. "Probably made up a whole bunch of phony credentials."

"Oh no…" Logan groaned. "The kids!"

"This is gonna kill Jubilee when she finds out," Wanda told him.

"I know! I know!" Logan told her.

"Didn't she give you guys some big check?" Fred asked. "You know as a way of thanking you for taking care of Jubilee?"

"WHAT?" Fury was shocked. "YOU ACCEPTED MONEY FROM AN ASSASSIN?"

"That's not good is it?" Fred asked.

"No it is not, Blob," Cover Girl sighed.

"Oh freaking hell…"Logan winced. He took out his cell phone and punched in the numbers. "Ororo? It's Logan. Where's Charles? I'm afraid a lot of things are wrong. Put together the X-Men and send 'em out to California! You'd better believe there's trouble! You didn't cash that check the Jubilee's Aunt Hope gave us did you? Oh great! Well better un-cash it. I don't know how you do it. Just try okay?"

"Kids you know what to do," Cover Girl told the Misfits. "I'll call Roadblock and tell him you'll be late for dinner."

Logan saw the Misfits heading out. "You wait for me!" He shouted. Then started talking back into the phone. "No not you. Just get the team out here ASAP! I don't have time to explain now. Fury'll tell you! Bye!"

"Wait a minute…" Fury protested as Logan shoved the phone in his hands. "Logan I…" Too late, Logan ran out the door. "Great! Storm? Yeah well you'd better sit down first. And you might want to get a hold of your lawyers…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Meanwhile Jubilee was getting another surprise of her own. "Oh so you're back?" She asked the figure at the front door.

"Look I came to apologize," Shane said. "For getting you involved in the shootout."

"Which one?"

"Okay I gotta apologize for two things," Shane winced.

"Hey Jubilee what's with the…" Kitty walked in and saw the scene. "And what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Jubilee if you don't mind," Shane folded his arms.

"Actually we do mind," Kitty told him.

"Kitty…" Jubilee warned. "I can handle this."

"Aren't you the one who was dating two guys at the same time?" Shane looked at Kitty. "'Cause you're making an awful lot of judgements…"

"What's going on?" Rina walked in with Tabitha. "YOU!"

"Come to cause even more trouble?" Tabitha asked. The other X-Girls walked in.

"Oh like you never did," Shane glared at her. "Jubilee told me all about you girls the other day."

"Wait when was this?" Kitty asked.

"On the phone before last night," Jubilee sighed.

"Not that its any of your business what we talk about," Shane told them.

"It's my business what you talk about, Bub."

Shane turned around and saw a very annoyed Logan glaring at him. "Uh…" He gulped when he saw the claws casually stick out from his hand.

"Who the hell are you?" Logan growled.

"Uh…" Shane suddenly felt very nervous. "Nobody."

"Hey guys!" Todd bounded up with the rest of the Misfits. "It's Jubilee's mutant gangster boyfriend!"

"TOAD!" Jubilee shouted.

"Busted…" Kitty whistled. Logan gave Shane a death glare. Shane, who had been exposed to knife fights, guns and other horrors of the streets since he was six years old, was suddenly very, very afraid.

"He's not…" Jubilee was frustrated. "We're not…What are you doing here?"

"Jubilee I don't know how to tell you this," Lance looked nervous. "Uh, is your aunt around?"

"No, she went out with Brad to a business meeting, why?" She answered.

"Business meeting," Pietro snorted. "Yeah right!"

"Just what do you mean by that?" Jubilee glared at him.

"Hold on. First who is this guy?" Logan pointed at Shane with his claws. "And why is he hanging around here?"

"Could you point those things away from me please?" Shane gulped.

"He's apologizing for getting her involved in a couple of shoot outs," Rina told him.

"WHAT?" Logan roared and glared at Shane.

"Thanks a lot Rina!" Jubilee put her hand to her head.

"I think I'm going to go home now…" Shane decided to back up and get out while he still had a pair of legs intact.

Just then Brad stumbled into the house, twacking Shane right in the face with the door. Shane fell back and Brad fell forward. "Brad!" Jubilee was shocked at his black outfit, guns and he was bleeding from a shoulder wound.

"Who's this guy?" Shane groaned as he rubbed his head.

"The butler," Logan readied his claws.

"This guy? Don't look like no butler to me," Shane moaned.

"That's because he ain't," Todd told him.

"Toad for once keep your flamin' mouth shut!" Logan roared.

"I'm fine by the way…" Shane grumbled as he got up. "No worries, I'm good."

"He's shot nimrod!" Lina snapped as she grabbed some bandages out of her medic kit and tended to the wound. "That kind of comes first!"

"Well I didn't see with all the door in my face!" Shane snapped. "Sue me!"

"Brad, what's with the outfit?" Kitty asked. "You're hurt!"

"Just a scratch," Brad got up and grunted. "Looks worse than it really is."

"Your 'business meeting' get a little rough?" Logan growled.

"What?" Jubilee asked. "Brad what's he talking about? What's going on?"

Brad sighed. "Jubilee…I'm sorry. Hope's gonna kill me for telling you this but…She's not who you think she is. She wasn't sick the other day, she got shot."

"Shot? Why?" Jubilee asked.

"Your aunt is an assassin," Brad sighed. "Or at least she's trying to stop being one."

"WHAT?" Jubilee yelled.

"Fury just told us," Pietro added. "She's been on the World's Most Wanted list for years!"

"She's called the Black Mantis," Todd added.

"Toad shut up!" Logan roared.

"I don't believe this…" Jubilee was in shock.

"Damn…" Shane shook his head. "This is some messed up…"

"You don't know the half of it," Pietro told him.

"She wanted out of this life and settle down," Brad looked out the window. "You know the story, she was promised one last job by her boss and that would be it. Only it wasn't."

"He double crossed her didn't he?" Lance asked.

"Got it in one," Brad shook his head. "Hope really has a thing about getting shot. So she decided to get in a little payback but this time they were ready for us. We got outnumbered, split up and ran. I don't know where she is."

"And what are you in all this?" Logan growled. "You're not just a butler are you?"

"I've been her apprentice for seven years," Brad admitted. "And…her secret fiancée for the past seven months."

"WHAT?" Jubilee screamed even louder.

"Oh my god…" Rahne's jaw dropped.

"Welcome to the club," Kitty groaned.

"I don't believe this…" Shane was shocked. "A week ago my life was fine. Now I'm in some messed up mutant soap opera!"

"It does seem like that doesn't it?" Fred asked Todd who nodded in agreement.

"R. Kelly has nothing on this," Tabitha agreed.

"I gotta get outta here…" Shane headed for the door only to be grabbed by the back of the shirt by Logan. "Hey!"

"You ain't going anywhere," Logan told him.

"Uh, look you are all obviously going through a lot of heavy personal things and I don't wanna…" Shane gulped.

"No, you're not going because we got company," Logan shouted. "GET DOWN!"

Everyone barely had time to react before the bullets started flying. "I guess I didn't lose them," Brad grumbled as he pulled his weapon.

"Okay," Logan shot out his claws. "X! Firestar! Magma! Avalanche! And the Butler here are the first wave! The rest of you be ready to clean up our spillover!"

"I'm trying to install fear into them!" Danielle shouted. "But they're blocking me somehow!"

"Mental blocks most likely," Logan grunted. "Blob I need your invulnerable hide to cover for those who have weaker attacks! Husk you change into something less vulnerable and help him."

"You got it," Fred nodded as over a dozen invaders in black broke down the door and spilled in.

"Ditto," Paige shed her skin and most of her clothes to reveal a hard, silver like form. "Ready for action!"

"Weak huh?" Shane snorted. He shot out several energy bullets. "How's this for weak?"

It became a violent free for all. The invaders were well armed but the mutants were also very experienced fighters. They were able to defend their position despite the massive army attacking them. It was hard not to kill them but they managed tp either knock out or incapacitate them in one way or another.

"We're holding 'em back but I don't know for how long," Lance shouted as he used his powers to send out a massive wave of earth at the invaders.

"Man it's like they sent an army here!" Pietro barely dodged some gunfire. He used his super speed to knock out several invaders.

BAM!

BOOM!

"Geeze where are the cops when you need 'em?" Wanda shouted as she hexed several guns.

Suddenly Aunt Hope crashed through the window on a jet pack. "HOPE!" Brad shouted.

"Don't be too happy," She shed the jet pack and started firing. "I brought more friends with me!"

"With friends like this who needs health insurance?" Pietro quipped.

"Bad gangster! Bad!" Danielle hit one of the attackers with a large piece of wood. Rahne turned into a wolf and bit one on the behind. Lina used her spit spray to wrap another up like a mummy. Still they kept coming.

"This is just perfect!The secondshoot out in as many nights!" Tabitha blew some energy bombs at the attackers.

"Third for me," Jubilee glared at Shane.

"Ditto," Althea remarked as she dodged several bullets.

"Well you can't blame me for this one!" Shane shouted at her.

"Jubilee I'm sorry," Hope said as she fired off another round. "I never wanted you to find out…"

"Save it," Jubilee shouted. "Brad told me everything!"

"Just now!" Brad added. "When they started firing the guns at us!"

"We'll talk later," Hope told her.

"That's pretty optimistic!" Pietro quipped as he dodged more bullets. "Geeze even Cobra doesn't have this many armed guys!"

"Cobra doesn't have as much firepower as these guys," Hope explained. "Or at least they're not willing to use this much on anyone! But my old boss really has it in for me!"

"You sure know how to make friends," Logan grunted as he sliced several weapons to shreds.

"Jubilee your parents disowned me years ago," Hope explained as she defended her home. "That's why you never knew about me before."

"Well I'm learning a lot now!" Jubilee flashed her fireworks on an invader, blinding him.

"Stick close!" Shane backed into her. "I got your back!" He shot an invader advancing on them.

"Thanks Shane!" Jubilee told him firing on another invader.

"I guess this is my way of making up for you getting involved in my shoot-outs?" Shane shouted as he fired his energy bullets.

"SHOOT OUTS?" Aunt Hope shouted. "AS IN PLURAL?"

"WHAT SHOOT OUTS?" Logan roared.

"Aunt Hope! Logan! Not now!" Jubilee shouted. "Bad guy at two o' clock!" Logan took care of him.

"You a mutant too?" Hope asked Shane.

"You bet!" Shane shot at more men.

"Right on baby!" Hope whooped as she did a flip and knocked down two more men from behind.

"Okay does she sound like Austin Powers or is it just me?" Fred asked.

"Just shut up and fight!" Logan roared.

"You don't have to be so touchy!" Fred snapped as he knocked back several thugs.

"UGGHH!" Brad was hit in the shoulder and the leg. He fell to the ground.

"Brad! He's hit!" Kitty shouted.

"I'm amazed no one else has been hit yet!" Althea shouted as she ducked some bullets.

"I am definitely not getting a deposit back on this house," Aunt Hope grumbled as she saw her home get blown to pieces around her.

"Hang on Brad!" Jubilee covered him. "We'll get you help as soon as we can!"

"I'm not…going anywhere…" Brad muttered before he passed out.

"BRAD!" Hope shouted. "EAT LEAD BASTARDS!" She fired off several more rounds.

"Geeze who else is in your family? Rambo?" Shane asked Jubilee.

Suddenly the guns stopped firing. A tall thin Chinese man with long gray hair held his pistol in the air. "Cease fire! Now!" He ordered in Chinese.

"They stopped," Pietro said.

"For now," Rina growled.

"What do you want Ang?" Hope snapped.

"Anybody know what they're saying?" Lance asked.

"I know Japanese, not Chinese," Althea admitted.

"I never learned the language," Jubilee said.

"I did," Logan said. "Quiet!"

"We can go on like this all night," Ang spoke in Chinese. "But that's so counter productive. I have invested a lot of time and money in you Ms. Lee. Surely it doesn't have to end this way? I gave you everything!"

"Everything but my freedom," Hope told him.

"I am willing to make you an offer. If you lay down your weapons and come back to me, you will not be punished. All will be forgiven. You are far too valuable and deadly an assassin to destroy wantonly. If not…Well I think you can see where I'm going with this."

"What are they saying?" Shane asked Logan.

"Either she goes back to the dirtbag or he blows us away," Logan told him.

"That's what I thought he said," Shane groaned.

Suddenly Fred snapped. "We aren't going to give into the likes of you! So scram!"

Everyone stared at Fred. "What?" He asked. "I made friends with a few Chinese Acrobats when I worked at the Circus as a kid."

"You never told us you could speak Chinese!" Pietro was stunned.

"Just a little. And you never asked!" Fred explained.

"No wonder he always knew what to order every time we went to get takeout," Todd thought.

"You want me? Fine," Hope snarled. "But how do I know you won't blast my niece, my butler and their friends the second my guard is lowered? If you really just want me you'd let them go. They have nothing to do with this. I won't agree to anything until they're safe."

"Very well," Ang nodded. "I have no taste for killing children and I know of the reputation of the Wolverine. Besides, it's the least I can do. After all, I was able to find you by following them. They may leave if you remain behind. My men will not fire on them."

"All right, all of you," Hope told them. "Take Brad and leave! Now!"

"But Aunt Hope!" Jubilee plead.

"Do as she says kid!" Logan saw the look in Hope's eyes. "Trust me on this one kiddo!"

"But we can take them!" Pietro whined.

"Maybe we can but he won't last much longer without a doctor," Hope touched Brad's cheek. "And I won't endanger you or your friends any more."

"Okay," Jubilee took a longing look at Hope before she helped Brad outside. Soon everyone else was far away.

"Now that there are no distractions we can talk," Ang swaggered in with his henchmen.

"I was hoping you'd do that," Hope threw down her guns. She then backed up to the wall and put her hands on the security system. "Let me just turn off the alarm shall I?"

"Yes…Wait! No!" Too late Ang realized what she was about to do.

"Gotcha suckers…" Hope grinned as she flipped the switch.

BOOOM!

"AUNT HOPE!" Jubilee screamed as the entire building went up in flames.

Next: What happens to everyone? Is this really the end of Aunt Hope? And what about Shane Shooter? Find out next chapter!