Jak, Keira, Torn, Erol, Daxter, Haven and Tess are (c) Naughty Dog, and if I forgot something, well, oops.
LunarSquirrel, yay, the return of sciurus lunaris, nice to see you again! Kleiver – diaper? –confused- I haven't got Jak X, by the way… And I never will! I boycott it, as well as Jak 3… -self-torment or strength of mind?-
Meowen, yay I'm an optimistic person! I'm A-class! xD I guess the cyberforce had little problems with me as this chapter took so long… -innocent whistling, no, I'm not lazy- Omigod, my reply for your review is the shortest one! How did this happen?
Darth Tank, oh it was just overoptimistic Da! about Erol and Jak. Don't care about it! –smile- So, Kleiver wears a diaper, is practically our buddies' enemy and has an evil my-life-mission-is-to-destroy-Jak –rodent on his shoulder? O...K Ehe… Ehe… Eh. –shocked- Oh, "curst" means "deserving a curse", a bit of "damn" like word.
jaklover123, well, I returned Erol to his normal swaggerish character. I didn't want to make him over as a whole new luster purge boy… Keira's interested, because she… -evil grin of storyteller- It will be explained later! Mwahhahhahhaa! The vision thing, well, Keira gets visions. –innocent smile-
maestro: "We keep them waiting for almost a month? In my opinion the time – quality relation is in critical numbers right now."
Sipuli: "Well, it might be just me, but in my opinion it was for the best to cancel the original Chapter 14 and write a new one."
Lucius: "Wasn't that the one where they fought about cheese?"
Sipuli: "Yes. That says it all, doesn't it?"
14. Outgoing & Good-looking
In the end of the month, the atmosphere in Casa de Ottsel was still pretty tense. They all were polite and chatty to each other, even Keira to Jak, but it all tasted like trying hard. Keira still had her nauseas and headaches, which had led everyone except Tess to believe, that she was expecting. Not for Erol, of course, but it could be anyone, couldn't it? In the end, Keira was outgoing, good-looking and sporting an amazing body figure. And it was Lisha, one of the fertility months, and usually the first symptoms of the pregnancy occurred in the next female month since the fertilization. The expected to be expecting girl couldn't think of a suitable lie and there was no way she was going to tell the matter of things, so she coolly let the others think she was pregnant. Which only increased Daxter's, Torn's, Jak's and even Erol's amount of belief; as you know, enceinte women never breathe a word about their current state for men until they've passed some mysterious date or told every girlfriend or bought a new wardrobe or something else as mystical. Jak had even gone so far that he had done a list of men Keira could have met in Nockir, the month he had arrived. To his displeasure, he had found out that he had known nothing about her businesses then, so, it left every capable male in the town available. Expect for him of course. And probably Torn, but he could not be sure – maybe they had this thing going on, but they didn't want to show it as he had arrived, but he was still pretty sure that he could trust his friend, and if something had been going on he had surely noticed, right? And Erol was eliminated, too, as he didn't exist way back then. Or…
Of course!
Jak didn't realise how he hadn't thought of it earlier.
Erol had been alive, for some miracle (Jak decided to search an excuse for the living subject later), and then Keira and he… Well, they had gotten procreative. Keira had her own apartment, which by now was empty, or how did he know, he'd never been there, but anyway the point was that Keira had kept Erol in her house! Of course! But then, she had been offered a chance to live in Casa de Ottsel, and she couldn't turn that down, so she moved in and later helped Erol in, too! All this 'I'm-heaven-sent-into-your-bedroom' –stuff was just bluffing; Jak knew how good Keira was at inventing stories as she had always told him and Daxter fairytales at evenings way back in Sandover. It had been also her idea to give Erol clothes (from the upcoming Tester collection, they included buttons and zippers and buckles and laces everywhere so they could be put on even for someone who had his legs and arms chained). AND, Keira spent the most time with Erol. Or had spent, as now the racing season was about to begin and she was busy with her garage, and her interviews and photoshoots. Garage Sandover was expected to really challenge, hardly/maybe/probably overcome the Supersonic Garage, last year's champion, and also, Garage Sandover was the only female led garage in the town. And as stated before, Keira was outgoing, good-looking and sporting an amazing body figure AND she was single (although Jak was now sure she wasn't). To cut it short, Keira was the most mediasexy person in Haven right now.
"Guys, I'm home!" the mediasexiest person in Haven shouted cheerfully, and rushed to throw up.
"How was your interview and what did you bring this time?" Torn asked. He was laying on the living room couch, reading, Daxter curled on his chest. When Jak had seen that for the first time, it had almost knocked him off his feet. Like, Torn would never disgrace himself by letting a filthy rodent sleep on him, and Daxter would never disgrace himself by sleeping on someone as bony and boring. Oh well, nothing stays the same…
"It was alright. Lots of delicacies!" Keira chirped, "is Tess at the Ottsel?"
"No, she's at Erol."
"Oh, of course! Dumb me. Is she planning to go to Ottsel?"
"No", Daxter murmured sleepily, "we're planning to have a romantic night of our own, and leave the decorating for Phoyre. Yawn…"
Phoyre! Jak, who heard this all into his room, quickly calculated the possibilities and placed him as the first runner-up for Erol. Phoyre was the second-in-command-to-the-rodents in Ottsel, taking care of things when Tess and Daxter were busy. He was outgoing and as far as Jak remembered not as bad-looking as he had every right to be… Hmm, and he had a reason to be alive. Hmm… Phoyre or Erol? Phoyre or Erol?
"What about the master, or what about the dame? Or what about the little boy who lives down the lane?" Dark trolled in his head, "has someone taken a ticket headlong to paranoia?"
"It's understandable", Light had this nurse-tone in his voice, "he's gone though a lot in his life. These shocks lately may have shaken the fine tightrope he was walking on and –"
"Thank you", Jak snorted and looked at the mindmap he had done. It really was ridiculous. It was possible that Keira wasn't pregnant at all, and even if she was, it could have been anyone.
He crumpled the sheet up, and threw it into the trash can.
"Look out!" Dark warned him, "someone might read it now. You should – of course, ev'ry paranoid knows this – either burn it, or then soak it in water before tattering it and then you should make a ball out of those wet pieces. No-one can read that!"
"Dark, I appreciate that", he muttered sarcastically while walking down the stairs.
"Talking to your head again?" Torn asked.
"What? Oh yes", Jak smirked, "where did everyone go?"
"Dax went to jails", Torn yawned too and placed the book under the sofa, "and Keira should be in the kitchen."
"I am in the kitchen!" Keira snapped and rouse up from behind the kitchen island, "just looking for coriander. Where is it?" she soon continued after seeing Jak's face, "oh, me asking that from you? This is sad."
"Why don't you ask Tess?" Torn suggested.
"I don't need Tess to ev'ry it and that!" she snapped, hopped over the few stairs between the kitchen and the living room, and rushed to the bathroom.
"Puking up. Making food", Jak rolled his eyes, "the level of hygiene in this house: below zero."
"Make the food if mine is not enough", Keira yelled and washed her hands extravagantly loudly.
"It was a joke!"
"I'm not up for laughs if I'm down for pukes! Now, if you don't mind, boys", she went to the kitchen and took out a tower of plates, "help me with the table and then get away – yes, I need my own peace when I'm cooking!" she added for Jak's disbelieving eyebrows.
"She's pregnant, isn't she?" Jak asked from Torn as they lay in the garden, shaded by the torching midday sun.
"Well, it seems so, really. Her moodswings, her these indisposition things, that cooking for us – he sounded just like my mum! 'Help me with the table, boys'."
"Do you have a brother?"
"Had", Torn sighed, "he was a KG, was killed in an accident."
"Oh. I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thanks", Torn smirked, "so, tell me, is it true that you can turn invisible?"
"What?"
"Does either of your… head creatures have an ability to… you know, vanish?"
"Where did you come up with that?" Jak laughed a little, "yes, Dark can turn invisible."
"Traitor! Where is the paranoid now?" Dark rampaged, "it's a secret, or something, never let your enemy know your strengths, never. You have no strategy sense at all…" he kept on though Jak wasn't paying attention.
"Oh, really?" Torn sounded interested, for once, "wow."
"It's not like becoming a ghost or something, Dark can't go through walls, as example."
"I can't? Can't I?" Dark kept on yelling, "show me a wall and I'll make my way through it! The owner of the wall wouldn't like it, though, but as I said…"
"Can you keep on with it, like forever?"
"Oh no, just for a moment. I think a minute or something is the record."
"A minute? A minute? I can do a lot better than that! You should know…"
"That's fascinating. What else can you do?" Torn asked as he chewed a leaf from a lathmys palm, "or, they?"
"Oh, Dark has these bombs and attacks and lightning. Ev'rything evil."
"Evil? Ev'rything evil? Well I'ma show you – wait a second! Thank you!"
"And Light can fly and freeze time –"
"It's not freezing time. It's speeding my molecules up."
"- or not, he says it's just speeding him up, so he moves very swiftly, and then he can heal, and… something."
"And Dark had this giant thing or something, I've seen that, remember?"
"Oh yes, you've seen the giant Dark", Jak laughed. Can you do it still? he asked from his fellow.
"Of course", Dark sounded insulted, "just because I don't use my full potential for a moment, it doesn't mean I'm not capable to it anymore."
"It's just… fascinating", Torn repeated and chuckled, "I dunno. You realise that you're unique?"
"Exactly", Jak snorted, "why me?"
"Thank you very much", Light snapped.
"How are they like in person?" Torn smirked, "I mean, you talk to them sometimes, usually in a frustrated tone and so on, so I suppose they have some characteristics."
"Well, Dark's an uneducated pervert –"
"An uneducated pervert? An uneducated pervert? I'ma show you – hey, thanks again, buddy!"
The real reason for the atmosphere being so tense was in the basement. Erol. All the other faeries in the house had realised, that he knew something about each of them, what they didn't want to share with the others. Keira felt the most insecure, thus she spent lots of time with Erol, as so he couldn't leak any information about their intimate relationship to Torn or especially Jak. She would rather tell about her visions, drink yakow pee and spend three years without her favourite fragrance than tell about that love affair. She was also pretty sure, that Torn and Jak would decide to kill her, or drink her yakow pee or do something sinister like that, if she told them.
Jak had ignored Light's advice to talk to someone about his traumas, but didn't especially feel a need to guard Erol. Torn's secret was probably the smallest one, but he was a bit afraid of the reactions of the others, and also he didn't feel any particular need to talk about his Krimzon Guard past.
"That was truly delicious!" Torn leaned backwards in his chair. The meal Keira had cooked had been seayakow on a vegetable bed and wumpa soufflé as the dessert. Daxter and Tess had been served to their magnificent bedroom, as their romantic night of course included a romantic two-to-two supper. The meal of Erol's had included a yellow pill and a sleeping pill.
"Thank you, I surprised myself, too, you know", Keira was tattering her serviette into small pieces, "so, Jak, did the level of this meal's hygiene disappoint you?"
"Not at all. Thanks! It was delicious, like Torn said."
"Thanks."
"Why are you doing that?" Torn asked and nodded at the serviette, "got some hidden aggressions?"
"What? Oh this? No, nothing. I dunno, this is just fun! You oughtta try this sometimes, you know –" suddenly she gasped and slammed her hand at her forehead.
"Keira?" the guys asked.
"I'm fine."
"Surely?" Jak continued cautiously.
"Yeah, yeah", Keira rouse her head again, "Jak."
"What?"
"Today's your birthday!"
"What?"
"Today – is – your – birthday."
"Oh well then. Wow."
"Happy birthday, buddy!" Torn padded Jak on his shoulder, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-two, I guess."
"Jak, don't you remember your birthday?" Keira asked, "not that you seem to remember anyone's birthdays…"
"Well, my birthday just has never been a big thing for me –"
"Don't lie. As a kid you anticipated it as much as all the other kids in Sandover –"
"I'm not a kid anymore, a year here and year there –"
"Your I'm-not-a-kid –attitude really shows that you are a kid", Torn smirked, "from my point of view –"
"I'm an adult man, not a bloody teenager!"
"Jak and Torn!" Keira threw her incapacitated serviette at Torn, "don't you realise something? Torn?"
"What?"
"Jak's twenty-two today. The thirteenth of Lo, you are thirty-three."
"Thirty-three?" Jak hollered, "you're not thirty-three years old, are you?"
"I am", Torn replied with a slightly unpleased tone, "I'm not that old, you know."
"Your I'm-not-old –attitude really shows that you are a fossil!" the fakeblonde faery joked.
"Thanks, kid!" Torn passed Keira's serviette onwards, "let's wait 'til you're thirty-three, if you get that far! Most of this city is over thirty-three and these fossils can get really harsh. It's a bit of a weak spot, you know."
"Guys", Keira sighed, "do you see it? A pair of twos. A pair of threes."
"Yes, we both are in our doubles", Torn snorted. In Haven, people didn't especially value ages such as 10, 20, 30, 40 and so on. They were a lot keener on ages like 11, 22, 33 et cetera.
"This makes an enormous jubilee, doesn't it?" Keira chirped, "double doubles party!"
"I don't think we need a party", Jak sighed and changed glances with Torn.
"We do!" Keira sipped the last drop of water from her glass, "this house is so full of all kind of crazy energies, we need a break of it. Tell me, when have you two been out for the last time?"
"Before you called us back in to eat", Jak finished with his glass, too.
"No, I mean, outside Haven, as example!"
"Are you planning to take us outta Haven for a party?" Torn asked with disbelief.
"Yes!" Keira said in a self-satisfied tone, "I'll take you to the Precursor Ruins. That's a great place for a jubilee. Torn, take your communicator and ask Jinx when is it fine for Onin. I'm sure he will be very happy to see us!"
"Jinx?" Jak remembered his first encounter with this chain smoker, "happy to see us?"
"For sure!"
"Can't we just say 'no, we don't want to have this whatso-jubilee-ever', eh?" Torn asked from Jak.
"Oh if you do you'll just be ignored. No matter how well you use tmesis or not", Keira smiled, "wait 'til Tess will hear about this!"
"Okay, we lost this game!" Torn threw his hands in the air.
"Torn, be strong!"
"Jak, think about it: these two talk and talk and talk about it, and plan and plan and plan it. We can't win!"
"Exactly!" Keira kept on smiling, "now, if you cleaned the table, because I'd need to wash my hands, thank you…"
"By the way", Torn asked from Jak when they were collecting the dishes, "if you're birthday is the twenty-last of Lisha, why is the birthday of Mar the first of Mar?"
"Torn", Jak snapped with a smirk, "I do not have a thought about it. You're more Haven than me, tell me. Or actually don't. I don't want anything to remind me of my birthday anymore, my quota of the year will be met when this hand-washing funny farm drags us to the Ruins."
Sipuli: "Now let's get down to Chapter 15! We'll finally see Jinx."
maestro: "I hope we will finish that before Christmas…"
Da: "Xmas comes! Hooray! Hooray! I wish it could be xmas ev'ryday!"
Sipuli: "Some good news: Chapter 16 is already written…"