A/N - This chapter takes a dark little turn and contains some disturbing
subject matter. It's not graphic and it won't be in the future. I hope I
don't lose some of you because of it.
A/N - You guys reviewing are the bestest. Thank You!!! Also, passages marked with ** should be in italics, but after trying everything I can think of a million times, I can't get them to transfer from the original document during the upload. [throws hands in air dramatically] I give up.
~Lies-11~
**The black rushed up and swallowed her whole, sucking her transparent body into the void. She fell through stars in peaceful silence; trust reflected back into space from her eyes as it flickered and glowed around her, dancing by so intimately. Touch was forbidden but essential to resist endless freefall. She grasped gently, slowly for it and observed as it slid between her fingers in long drops of doubt. Both naïve hands pursued for a capture between them but it flowed gracefully around her wrists. She offered both again, palms up, and flickering light merged from everywhere into clusters that fused, manifesting in a glowing, radiant ball. It hovered over outstretched fingers, and as it settled into them it dimmed, finally fading again to the black.**
Drifting in this sparkling mist was quietly satisfying to her, and she was saddened when it was fragmented by a dull ache. Mist sailed away in long thin wisps, no longer holding her aloft, and she felt pressure on her back. Indistinctly understanding she was in bed, she opened her eyes to see shadows. She was in a dimly lit place; unfamiliar. Her first languid thought was of a hotel room. She wanted to draw on the notepad by the phone like she did all the other times Daddy took her places with him. She reached for it and the dull ache sharpened. Her eyes lowered and took in a cast on one arm, a flimsy gown covering her, and a rail up on one side of the bed. A part of her knew she should panic, yet it was so tranquil here. Quiet and safe with her hand in his. He'd been watching while she'd been floating. Was that Daddy? She eased her hand from between his and slid her fingers across dark curly hair lying next to her hip. So soft. Not Daddy, Seth, which pleased her immensely. Why was he down there? A distant sense of his chest hard against her cheek, their arms and legs tangled together comfortably slowly spun by her, then was gone. She watched lazily as he lifted his head, looking around to get his bearings. His face turned toward her and she smiled; his eyes sang elegant and enchanting things when they touched hers. They sang only for her, and it moved her to tears.
****
Seth raised his head again. Every little noise woke him and he'd been up and down a hundred times, making sure she was ok, watching the nurse every time she came in, and in general getting very little sleep. He looked up at her, and she was watching him with glazed eyes and a soft smile curving her lips. He held her gaze, so grateful she was awake and overcome by his intense feelings for her. She began to cry, silent drops trailing down, and he sat up in his chair, then rose and pulled a knee up next to her, perching on the edge of the bed. "What? What happened? Do you hurt? Is there pain?"
"It's you." Her tears stopped.
"Yes. Yes it's me. It is I. Is that what made you sad? Do you, uh, want me to go?" Her smile had thrown him, he wasn't expecting that. He assumed she would be in pain and frightened and was oh so very prepared for that. Smiling, THEN crying was not in his mental file folder of possible scenarios for when she woke up. He checked his watch. 4 a.m..
"No! Don't leave me." She began to shake her head and hissed in a breath at the pain it caused. She looked questioningly at herself and then back to him.
He winced with her. "Ooooooh. That stung, didn't it, sweetheart?" Her actions and tone of voice were decidedly childlike. He lifted her small hand from the bed onto his knee and covered it with his own. "You have to be careful and not move very much, ok? You had an accident, Summer. You don't remember?"
"It hurts." she answered softly. "Where else will I hurt, Seth?"
"Do you remember the accident?" He was almost hoping she didn't. She was obviously on a pretty good buzz and the longer that lasted for her, the better.
"No. Where else?" She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, eyes widening as it came in contact with a purple bruise.
"Well, there for starters. You want me to show you?" If she wasn't going to let it go, he might as well tell her.
She giggled. "I'll show you if you show me." She winked at him, grinning wickedly while sliding his hand down her cheek and closing her lips over his little finger.
Seth blinked several times and swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. "H- How about if I just show you, for now. Where it will hurt, I mean. You know. That." He very carefully pulled his hand back.
Summer considered that. "Ok."
"You'll have a bad headache because you hit your head." His hand passed over to her shoulder. "Here. This shoulder will hurt. It was dislocated." He continued lower, pointing to her arm in the cast. "Right here, also. It's broken." His hand crossed over to the side he was sitting on, and he drew a line in the air from above her hip to under her arm. "All this will be painful too."
"Why there? What happened?" She grabbed his hand with her free one and pulled it to her side. "That doesn't hurt."
It didn't hurt? Good drugs. "Maybe not now, but it will when you move." He would ignore her question about what happened. "Your ribs and hip are bruised."
"Show me."
"Ah - ah - Summer, you know what? I don't think that's a very good idea. Maybe you can look at that later on, ok?" The only way she could see her side was if she pulled the open-backed gown around and up. He tried not to think about the smooth skin under the gown, and the fact that she was wearing nothing else. Holy insensitive, Cohen. She's injured.
"I want to see!" She tried to push the covers down, but the effort to move forward made her inhale sharply. Tears welled up. "Help me? Please, Seth? I want to see."
Seth's head dropped back and he searched the ceiling for some kind of miraculous intervention. A strangled groan escaped him. "A little help here? God? You DO see that this incredibly beautiful girl is so toasted she's flirting with me and begging me to help her remove her clothes, right? You see that happening? This is just cruel if you're doing it on purpose." He looked back to her and now she was crying. He so hated the crying. It turned him to mush. "Summer, please. D - don't do that. Stop now. Everything's cool. No more crying... All right! I'll help you." He muttered under his breath. "And I WILL just look the other way." The gown doesn't have to go that far over, anyway. Just up a little until the hip is visible. No problem.
He pulled the blanket and sheet covering her down to her thighs, being careful not to disturb her arm in the cast too much. She tried to slide the gown from underneath herself, but didn't have the strength. "Let me do it." He grabbed the bottom of it, and began to pull. "Tell me if this hurts and I'll stop, ok?"
She gave a tiny nod and smiled at him. He paused, struck by her innocent, trusting gaze. Turning his attention back to her gown, he continued to pull gently at the bottom until it finally slid from under her leg. Holding the bottom hem down to keep her covered, he ran his other hand up the side, pulling it from under her as he went. "You're all set. Look all you want now." He turned away, his eyes falling on the bags from the gift shop. He needed to get things out for her.
"Oooooh! Pretty colors. Look, Seth. I'm pretty colors!"
He sighed. She wouldn't think that was so awesome tomorrow. He felt her take his hand again, tugging on it with what little strength she had. "No, no, no. I'm not looking. I help, you look - that was the deal. That's just for you to see, Summer... You and the doctor," He added quickly. He would really rather she NOT lift her gown and show everyone in the hospital her pretty colors while heavily medicated. Or anything else. That didn't make him a possessive boyfriend, did it? Hell, were they even back together? And why was he thinking about this, again? It had nothing to do with anything. He decided to blame it on lack of sleep. He was incredibly tired.
All senses went on full alert as her hand firmly guided his to her hipbone, pressing his fingers lightly against it. Against sleek, naked, Summer skin. With no gown covering it. Naked. His brain overrode hormones and won the battle against turning to look. He suddenly couldn't breath, given that his hand, either of them for that matter, had never been this close to that dangerous territory. No, his hands generally stuck to the familiar, routine and acceptable areas of the female anatomy like the back, arms, sides, and once across a flat stomach. And he could count on one hand how many times the others had happened. Whether he breathed again also depended on which direction said hand went next. He knew he should pull away, but was utterly powerless to do so at this moment in time. She was childlike and drugged, but she was still the Summer he'd always known and he likened touching her to drinking from the Holy Grail. He took in a lung full of oxygen as his hand was innocently guided in a northerly direction. She lightly pressed his fingers against her again as they slowly moved up her side. "You shouldn't be doing that. Doesn't that hurt your pretty colors?" He was still looking away, but now closed his eyes.
"No. I like your hands. They make me feel better."
Well, what was a guy supposed to say to THAT? She wanted his hand on her because it made her feel better. Yeah. Who was he to take it away and make her feel bad? His fingers slid slowly across a smooth expanse and changed direction again, being guided up a slope of the softest skin, brushing gently across a hard nub. She moaned softly and he came to his senses, snatching his hand from under hers and coloring with embarrassment. Whoa! Forgot about THAT dangerous territory. He had easily let her convince him he was helping her, and he admittedly loved the feel of her under his touch, but he had not meant to feel - that. He consoled himself with the thought that he hadn't looked, anyway, and hoped she wouldn't remember this. His ass would be so many kinds of kicked if she remembered later. "I need you to pull your gown back over now, ok? Summer?" He felt carefully around for the side of it and pulled it back over her, then turned his head. Oh shit. The look on her face. Sadness, humiliation, confusion and betrayal were all present and accounted for and it broke his heart.
He reached for her and she pressed herself back into the bed like a trapped animal, trying to get as far away as she could. She was frightened. Of him. Her bottom lip was quivering, and a tear spilled down her cheek. Again. The two personalities she was displaying since she woke up did not belong together and it was weirding him out. She was happily childlike but quick to cry like she needed a nap, with a side order of bold seductress. Definitely disturbing.
"You don't like me. I did something wrong." She spit it out like a 7-year- old that knew she was in trouble.
Confusion ruled until he realized what she was upset about. "Nonono, that's not true. I pulled my hand away because I did something wrong. Because I DO like you, and I was wrong. Ok? You understand? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to. I was wrong, not you."
She eyed him with distrust for a few seconds then she softened. She wiped away a tear with her good hand. "I like you too. I think I don't tell you that very often. I should tell you every day."
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. It snapped shut again. He reminded himself she was drugged and it didn't mean anything, but warmth spread through him anyway. "Can I hug you? I'll be careful, so I won't hurt you." She smiled and he shifted position, leaning over her and sliding an arm around her good side. He kissed dark hair, and whispered into her ear. "You don't have to tell me unless you feel like it. I know you like me now." He pulled back and she was suddenly curious.
"What did you do wrong, Seth?"
He inwardly cheered. If her short-term memory was anything to gauge by, she wouldn't remember the Open Gown Incident at all. He was saved from The Mighty Wrath of Summer. He imagined he could hear thunder in the background whenever he thought or said that. "Um, I shouldn't have touched - you, like that. Remember when you made my hand move? Like that. It was wrong and I'm really sorry. I promised to take care of you, not take advantage of you."
She nodded a little, knowingly. "You're not like Daddy. He never said he was sorry."
Hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Wha-what? What about Daddy?"
She giggled. "I like you most. You made it ok." She found his hand and happily slid her fingers through his.
Seth spoke very quietly. "What did I make ok, Summer? Tell me."
She looked at him as if he were stupid, rolling her eyes. "The touching."
His stomach lurched. "Daddy touched you and didn't say he was sorry?"
She nodded as much as she could without causing herself pain. "Can we go to the horse show? I love horses so much."
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Of course we can. I'll take you to one as soon as you feel better. How did Daddy touch you, Summer? He just hugged you, right?"
"No. Like you did. Didn't I tell you this the other day?"
Seth shook his head. "No. You didn't."
She was puzzled. "I thought I did. I meant to. I meant to tell you all of it. I'm tired, Seth."
"I know you are. What else were you going to tell me?" His eyes were closed and he was sure he didn't want to know.
"I can't be your girlfriend." She squeezed his hand. "But I want to. I like you even more now. You made it ok."
Now she was going back and forth between present and past. Seth's head was spinning. "You like me more than him?"
"He never did make it ok. I'm a ghost now." She seemed lost in her memory. "But Daddy loved his little angel soooooo much he couldn't help it. He said that every time. I think he could. Help it, you know. He didn't want to." She smiled sadly at him, then brightened. "I'm special to you, though. I see how you look at me." Doubt filled her face. "Aren't I, Seth?"
His brain was still trying to process "Daddy's Little Angel", "couldn't help it", and "he said that every time" but he forced himself to smile at her. "You're more special to me than anything. I love to be with you."
She studied his face. "I believe you, but I don't want to be friends. I might be in love with you. Did you know that? I'm mean to you so you won't find out. You can't find out."
Bittersweet happiness washed over him. Under any other circumstances he might have passed out from that statement. "No, I didn't know that. But if you let me find out, I promise I won't hurt you again. Want to know a secret?"
"Oh yes. I won't tell, either. I'm the best secret keeper ever." Excitement filled her voice.
"Yes. Yes you are. Here's my secret. I might be in love with you too. I was scared to tell you I made a mistake for a long time, because I thought you didn't like me anymore." He felt a hundred pounds lighter after telling her. Even if she wouldn't remember it.
Brown eyes widened in amazement. "For real?"
He nodded. "Yep."
A sad smile came to her. "We're pretty stupid, aren't we? My head hurts."
"It does? You should go back to sleep then. But we are stupid, no doubt about it. Don't be sad, though. Maybe we'll learn to talk to each other about everything, even stuff that's really scary or we think the other won't understand."
She yawned loudly. "Good idea. Remind me to learn that tomorrow. I might forget, and it's very important." Her eyes closed.
"I'll remind you." He stood up and let go of her hand, leaning over her to kiss her softly. "G'night, Summer. Sweet dreams."
He hurried into the tiny bathroom and quietly closed the door, leaving self- control out in the hospital room with her. His hands trembled and he broke out in a sweat, finally dropping to his knees and throwing up in the toilet. Afterward, he ran water in the little sink, cupping his hands to splash his face and rinse his mouth. He dried off on a towel, opened the door and walked to the nurse's station. He must be having a terrible dream within a nightmare. Had to be. He informed them that she'd been awake, and trailed a nurse back down the hall to the room. He watched wearily from the chair, shielding his eyes from the light as she adjusted machines, checked this and that, and wrote notes on the chart.
The nurse started to leave, but stopped and turned to him. "I'm sure the bed would be more comfortable than that chair for sleeping."
"You saw that, huh. I had a long day."
She nodded, suppressing a smile. "I figured." She had a feeling he wouldn't have slept anywhere else anyway. Not until the girl woke up.
He raised his eyebrows in question and looked over at Summer, sleeping peacefully.
"I meant the OTHER bed. This is a private room, no one will be using it." She took it all in as he looked at the injured girl, then across the distance to the other bed, torn by his need to be close to her and his need to sleep comfortably. She sighed and crossed the room. Lord, what she wouldn't give to have a man look at her like that. She bent and flipped a lever on the bed's leg. "It rolls, darlin'."
****
A/N - You guys reviewing are the bestest. Thank You!!! Also, passages marked with ** should be in italics, but after trying everything I can think of a million times, I can't get them to transfer from the original document during the upload. [throws hands in air dramatically] I give up.
~Lies-11~
**The black rushed up and swallowed her whole, sucking her transparent body into the void. She fell through stars in peaceful silence; trust reflected back into space from her eyes as it flickered and glowed around her, dancing by so intimately. Touch was forbidden but essential to resist endless freefall. She grasped gently, slowly for it and observed as it slid between her fingers in long drops of doubt. Both naïve hands pursued for a capture between them but it flowed gracefully around her wrists. She offered both again, palms up, and flickering light merged from everywhere into clusters that fused, manifesting in a glowing, radiant ball. It hovered over outstretched fingers, and as it settled into them it dimmed, finally fading again to the black.**
Drifting in this sparkling mist was quietly satisfying to her, and she was saddened when it was fragmented by a dull ache. Mist sailed away in long thin wisps, no longer holding her aloft, and she felt pressure on her back. Indistinctly understanding she was in bed, she opened her eyes to see shadows. She was in a dimly lit place; unfamiliar. Her first languid thought was of a hotel room. She wanted to draw on the notepad by the phone like she did all the other times Daddy took her places with him. She reached for it and the dull ache sharpened. Her eyes lowered and took in a cast on one arm, a flimsy gown covering her, and a rail up on one side of the bed. A part of her knew she should panic, yet it was so tranquil here. Quiet and safe with her hand in his. He'd been watching while she'd been floating. Was that Daddy? She eased her hand from between his and slid her fingers across dark curly hair lying next to her hip. So soft. Not Daddy, Seth, which pleased her immensely. Why was he down there? A distant sense of his chest hard against her cheek, their arms and legs tangled together comfortably slowly spun by her, then was gone. She watched lazily as he lifted his head, looking around to get his bearings. His face turned toward her and she smiled; his eyes sang elegant and enchanting things when they touched hers. They sang only for her, and it moved her to tears.
****
Seth raised his head again. Every little noise woke him and he'd been up and down a hundred times, making sure she was ok, watching the nurse every time she came in, and in general getting very little sleep. He looked up at her, and she was watching him with glazed eyes and a soft smile curving her lips. He held her gaze, so grateful she was awake and overcome by his intense feelings for her. She began to cry, silent drops trailing down, and he sat up in his chair, then rose and pulled a knee up next to her, perching on the edge of the bed. "What? What happened? Do you hurt? Is there pain?"
"It's you." Her tears stopped.
"Yes. Yes it's me. It is I. Is that what made you sad? Do you, uh, want me to go?" Her smile had thrown him, he wasn't expecting that. He assumed she would be in pain and frightened and was oh so very prepared for that. Smiling, THEN crying was not in his mental file folder of possible scenarios for when she woke up. He checked his watch. 4 a.m..
"No! Don't leave me." She began to shake her head and hissed in a breath at the pain it caused. She looked questioningly at herself and then back to him.
He winced with her. "Ooooooh. That stung, didn't it, sweetheart?" Her actions and tone of voice were decidedly childlike. He lifted her small hand from the bed onto his knee and covered it with his own. "You have to be careful and not move very much, ok? You had an accident, Summer. You don't remember?"
"It hurts." she answered softly. "Where else will I hurt, Seth?"
"Do you remember the accident?" He was almost hoping she didn't. She was obviously on a pretty good buzz and the longer that lasted for her, the better.
"No. Where else?" She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, eyes widening as it came in contact with a purple bruise.
"Well, there for starters. You want me to show you?" If she wasn't going to let it go, he might as well tell her.
She giggled. "I'll show you if you show me." She winked at him, grinning wickedly while sliding his hand down her cheek and closing her lips over his little finger.
Seth blinked several times and swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. "H- How about if I just show you, for now. Where it will hurt, I mean. You know. That." He very carefully pulled his hand back.
Summer considered that. "Ok."
"You'll have a bad headache because you hit your head." His hand passed over to her shoulder. "Here. This shoulder will hurt. It was dislocated." He continued lower, pointing to her arm in the cast. "Right here, also. It's broken." His hand crossed over to the side he was sitting on, and he drew a line in the air from above her hip to under her arm. "All this will be painful too."
"Why there? What happened?" She grabbed his hand with her free one and pulled it to her side. "That doesn't hurt."
It didn't hurt? Good drugs. "Maybe not now, but it will when you move." He would ignore her question about what happened. "Your ribs and hip are bruised."
"Show me."
"Ah - ah - Summer, you know what? I don't think that's a very good idea. Maybe you can look at that later on, ok?" The only way she could see her side was if she pulled the open-backed gown around and up. He tried not to think about the smooth skin under the gown, and the fact that she was wearing nothing else. Holy insensitive, Cohen. She's injured.
"I want to see!" She tried to push the covers down, but the effort to move forward made her inhale sharply. Tears welled up. "Help me? Please, Seth? I want to see."
Seth's head dropped back and he searched the ceiling for some kind of miraculous intervention. A strangled groan escaped him. "A little help here? God? You DO see that this incredibly beautiful girl is so toasted she's flirting with me and begging me to help her remove her clothes, right? You see that happening? This is just cruel if you're doing it on purpose." He looked back to her and now she was crying. He so hated the crying. It turned him to mush. "Summer, please. D - don't do that. Stop now. Everything's cool. No more crying... All right! I'll help you." He muttered under his breath. "And I WILL just look the other way." The gown doesn't have to go that far over, anyway. Just up a little until the hip is visible. No problem.
He pulled the blanket and sheet covering her down to her thighs, being careful not to disturb her arm in the cast too much. She tried to slide the gown from underneath herself, but didn't have the strength. "Let me do it." He grabbed the bottom of it, and began to pull. "Tell me if this hurts and I'll stop, ok?"
She gave a tiny nod and smiled at him. He paused, struck by her innocent, trusting gaze. Turning his attention back to her gown, he continued to pull gently at the bottom until it finally slid from under her leg. Holding the bottom hem down to keep her covered, he ran his other hand up the side, pulling it from under her as he went. "You're all set. Look all you want now." He turned away, his eyes falling on the bags from the gift shop. He needed to get things out for her.
"Oooooh! Pretty colors. Look, Seth. I'm pretty colors!"
He sighed. She wouldn't think that was so awesome tomorrow. He felt her take his hand again, tugging on it with what little strength she had. "No, no, no. I'm not looking. I help, you look - that was the deal. That's just for you to see, Summer... You and the doctor," He added quickly. He would really rather she NOT lift her gown and show everyone in the hospital her pretty colors while heavily medicated. Or anything else. That didn't make him a possessive boyfriend, did it? Hell, were they even back together? And why was he thinking about this, again? It had nothing to do with anything. He decided to blame it on lack of sleep. He was incredibly tired.
All senses went on full alert as her hand firmly guided his to her hipbone, pressing his fingers lightly against it. Against sleek, naked, Summer skin. With no gown covering it. Naked. His brain overrode hormones and won the battle against turning to look. He suddenly couldn't breath, given that his hand, either of them for that matter, had never been this close to that dangerous territory. No, his hands generally stuck to the familiar, routine and acceptable areas of the female anatomy like the back, arms, sides, and once across a flat stomach. And he could count on one hand how many times the others had happened. Whether he breathed again also depended on which direction said hand went next. He knew he should pull away, but was utterly powerless to do so at this moment in time. She was childlike and drugged, but she was still the Summer he'd always known and he likened touching her to drinking from the Holy Grail. He took in a lung full of oxygen as his hand was innocently guided in a northerly direction. She lightly pressed his fingers against her again as they slowly moved up her side. "You shouldn't be doing that. Doesn't that hurt your pretty colors?" He was still looking away, but now closed his eyes.
"No. I like your hands. They make me feel better."
Well, what was a guy supposed to say to THAT? She wanted his hand on her because it made her feel better. Yeah. Who was he to take it away and make her feel bad? His fingers slid slowly across a smooth expanse and changed direction again, being guided up a slope of the softest skin, brushing gently across a hard nub. She moaned softly and he came to his senses, snatching his hand from under hers and coloring with embarrassment. Whoa! Forgot about THAT dangerous territory. He had easily let her convince him he was helping her, and he admittedly loved the feel of her under his touch, but he had not meant to feel - that. He consoled himself with the thought that he hadn't looked, anyway, and hoped she wouldn't remember this. His ass would be so many kinds of kicked if she remembered later. "I need you to pull your gown back over now, ok? Summer?" He felt carefully around for the side of it and pulled it back over her, then turned his head. Oh shit. The look on her face. Sadness, humiliation, confusion and betrayal were all present and accounted for and it broke his heart.
He reached for her and she pressed herself back into the bed like a trapped animal, trying to get as far away as she could. She was frightened. Of him. Her bottom lip was quivering, and a tear spilled down her cheek. Again. The two personalities she was displaying since she woke up did not belong together and it was weirding him out. She was happily childlike but quick to cry like she needed a nap, with a side order of bold seductress. Definitely disturbing.
"You don't like me. I did something wrong." She spit it out like a 7-year- old that knew she was in trouble.
Confusion ruled until he realized what she was upset about. "Nonono, that's not true. I pulled my hand away because I did something wrong. Because I DO like you, and I was wrong. Ok? You understand? I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to. I was wrong, not you."
She eyed him with distrust for a few seconds then she softened. She wiped away a tear with her good hand. "I like you too. I think I don't tell you that very often. I should tell you every day."
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. It snapped shut again. He reminded himself she was drugged and it didn't mean anything, but warmth spread through him anyway. "Can I hug you? I'll be careful, so I won't hurt you." She smiled and he shifted position, leaning over her and sliding an arm around her good side. He kissed dark hair, and whispered into her ear. "You don't have to tell me unless you feel like it. I know you like me now." He pulled back and she was suddenly curious.
"What did you do wrong, Seth?"
He inwardly cheered. If her short-term memory was anything to gauge by, she wouldn't remember the Open Gown Incident at all. He was saved from The Mighty Wrath of Summer. He imagined he could hear thunder in the background whenever he thought or said that. "Um, I shouldn't have touched - you, like that. Remember when you made my hand move? Like that. It was wrong and I'm really sorry. I promised to take care of you, not take advantage of you."
She nodded a little, knowingly. "You're not like Daddy. He never said he was sorry."
Hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Wha-what? What about Daddy?"
She giggled. "I like you most. You made it ok." She found his hand and happily slid her fingers through his.
Seth spoke very quietly. "What did I make ok, Summer? Tell me."
She looked at him as if he were stupid, rolling her eyes. "The touching."
His stomach lurched. "Daddy touched you and didn't say he was sorry?"
She nodded as much as she could without causing herself pain. "Can we go to the horse show? I love horses so much."
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Of course we can. I'll take you to one as soon as you feel better. How did Daddy touch you, Summer? He just hugged you, right?"
"No. Like you did. Didn't I tell you this the other day?"
Seth shook his head. "No. You didn't."
She was puzzled. "I thought I did. I meant to. I meant to tell you all of it. I'm tired, Seth."
"I know you are. What else were you going to tell me?" His eyes were closed and he was sure he didn't want to know.
"I can't be your girlfriend." She squeezed his hand. "But I want to. I like you even more now. You made it ok."
Now she was going back and forth between present and past. Seth's head was spinning. "You like me more than him?"
"He never did make it ok. I'm a ghost now." She seemed lost in her memory. "But Daddy loved his little angel soooooo much he couldn't help it. He said that every time. I think he could. Help it, you know. He didn't want to." She smiled sadly at him, then brightened. "I'm special to you, though. I see how you look at me." Doubt filled her face. "Aren't I, Seth?"
His brain was still trying to process "Daddy's Little Angel", "couldn't help it", and "he said that every time" but he forced himself to smile at her. "You're more special to me than anything. I love to be with you."
She studied his face. "I believe you, but I don't want to be friends. I might be in love with you. Did you know that? I'm mean to you so you won't find out. You can't find out."
Bittersweet happiness washed over him. Under any other circumstances he might have passed out from that statement. "No, I didn't know that. But if you let me find out, I promise I won't hurt you again. Want to know a secret?"
"Oh yes. I won't tell, either. I'm the best secret keeper ever." Excitement filled her voice.
"Yes. Yes you are. Here's my secret. I might be in love with you too. I was scared to tell you I made a mistake for a long time, because I thought you didn't like me anymore." He felt a hundred pounds lighter after telling her. Even if she wouldn't remember it.
Brown eyes widened in amazement. "For real?"
He nodded. "Yep."
A sad smile came to her. "We're pretty stupid, aren't we? My head hurts."
"It does? You should go back to sleep then. But we are stupid, no doubt about it. Don't be sad, though. Maybe we'll learn to talk to each other about everything, even stuff that's really scary or we think the other won't understand."
She yawned loudly. "Good idea. Remind me to learn that tomorrow. I might forget, and it's very important." Her eyes closed.
"I'll remind you." He stood up and let go of her hand, leaning over her to kiss her softly. "G'night, Summer. Sweet dreams."
He hurried into the tiny bathroom and quietly closed the door, leaving self- control out in the hospital room with her. His hands trembled and he broke out in a sweat, finally dropping to his knees and throwing up in the toilet. Afterward, he ran water in the little sink, cupping his hands to splash his face and rinse his mouth. He dried off on a towel, opened the door and walked to the nurse's station. He must be having a terrible dream within a nightmare. Had to be. He informed them that she'd been awake, and trailed a nurse back down the hall to the room. He watched wearily from the chair, shielding his eyes from the light as she adjusted machines, checked this and that, and wrote notes on the chart.
The nurse started to leave, but stopped and turned to him. "I'm sure the bed would be more comfortable than that chair for sleeping."
"You saw that, huh. I had a long day."
She nodded, suppressing a smile. "I figured." She had a feeling he wouldn't have slept anywhere else anyway. Not until the girl woke up.
He raised his eyebrows in question and looked over at Summer, sleeping peacefully.
"I meant the OTHER bed. This is a private room, no one will be using it." She took it all in as he looked at the injured girl, then across the distance to the other bed, torn by his need to be close to her and his need to sleep comfortably. She sighed and crossed the room. Lord, what she wouldn't give to have a man look at her like that. She bent and flipped a lever on the bed's leg. "It rolls, darlin'."
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