Dancing With the Demons
"Ugh, you were right about the air being breathable…" Kurt waved a hand in front of his face as they materialized in a very familiar section full of fire and lava. They were deposited on a rock. "But the smell is really bad."
"It'll have to do," Burke quickly grabbed the device from Kurt and shut it off.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked. "Won't we be stuck here?"
"No…We'll be fine," Burke put his hands together. "Now I need to concentrate for a second…" He began to mutter several strange sounding words.
Several familiar creatures started to poke their heads out and surrounded them. "MATT!" Kurt yelled. "We have company! Company with very big teeth!"
"AHHHHHGGGGGHHHH!" A bright blue light surrounded Burke and his eyes glowed. The creatures fled in terror.
"Matt what's going on? What's happening?" Kurt yelled.
"Kurt I'm afraid I have a confession to make," Burke panted as he began his transformation. "There's something about my past I never told you. Now's a good as time as any…AAGGGGGGHHHHH!"
"MATT!" Kurt cried out. To his shock Burke transformed himself into a red demon complete with a long red tail like his.
"I am free!" Azazel held up his hands. "Yes! Hello body! It's been too long!"
"Matt…What happened to you?" Kurt was shocked. "Why…Why do you look like that?"
"Kurt, my real name is Azazel," He confessed. "Millennia ago my species diverged from humanity. We were a mutant race that was only able to find refuge in other dimensions. We became known as demons. About fifty years ago I found myself trapped inside a human form and took on the name Matthew Burke. The rest I think you can figure out."
Azazel turned around. He couldn't face Kurt's shocked expression. "Kurt, I'm sorry you had to find out like this," Azazel sighed. "I wanted to tell you sooner but I wanted to try to give you some sort of normal life. Such as it is."
He turned around and found his son had passed out from shock. "Maybe that wasn't the best way to tell him?" Azazel sighed.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"Let me see if I get this straight," Margali pinched her nose. "You allowed Burke, who you know is a demon lord trapped in human form in this dimension…To have access to a machine that could allow him to go into other dimensions?"
"Demon lord?" Lance blinked. The remaining X-Men and Misfits were all standing around witnessing the scene. "Did she actually say Demon Lord?"
"She did," Paige said.
"Is there something you'd like to share with us Professor?" Jean's voice was very icy.
"Uh…We'll explain later," Logan gulped.
"You'll explain now," Jean glared at him.
"Long story short it turns out that Burke is really the trapped form of a demon lord named Azazel," Roadblock sighed.
"Well technically Azazel is really a mutant species from pre-Biblical times," Hank shrugged. "Actually it turns out most demons are really mutant off shoots of humans that have evolved in different dimensions."
"Oh that clears it all up!" Lance said sarcastically. "So where the hell is Kitty?"
"Kurt's gone too," Amanda said.
"So's Jubilee, Iceman, Colossus, Firestar, Shooter and Cypher," Scott noticed. "Shouldn't have Kurt teleported back by now?"
"Unless Azazel managed to turn off the machine in the middle of the jump," Logan grunted. "Which is very likely…"
"But what about the others?" Amara asked.
"My machine must have dragged them in at the very last second," Forge remarked. "I made some adjustments so that the machine wouldn't create any open portals like the last time. It must have created a mini gravitational field strong enough to suck them in. It could have even scattered them to a different location than wherever Nightcrawler and Burke…uh Azazel landed."
"You mean they're stuck in that other dimension with no way out?" Scott asked. "You know the one with the fire and the lava…"
"Don't forget the big fanged Barney rejects," Tabitha grumbled.
"Like anyone could forget them!" Todd groaned.
"You mean there's more friends of Princess Fluffietta Tinkerbell's?" Daria squealed with delight.
"Princess who?" Logan looked at them.
"Don't ask," Althea groaned.
"Great! Just great!" Margali threw up her hands. "As if we didn't have enough problems now!"
"What problems? Azazel was turned back into a human," Logan snapped. "And he's stuck as Burke."
"Correction. He was stuck as Burke as long as he stayed in this dimension! But in another dimension he could simply use the different mystic wavelengths to transform himself back into Azazel permanently!" Margali snapped. "Especially if he has transported to the dimension he was exiled to!"
"Ah…" Hank frowned. "I see…That could be a problem."
"And if that's true he's probably already turned into Azazel by now," Margali folded her arms. "And he's also reunited with the rest of his clan and as we speak is probably preparing to return to Earth and conquer it!"
"Clan?" Logan asked. "How big a clan are we talking about?"
"Azazel has sired dozens of offspring in his centuries of life," Margali said. "And all of them have mystic or mutant powers!"
"But how could they conquer Earth if they've all been exiled to another dimension?" Fred asked. Everyone looked at him. "Oh right, he'd just use the portal machine do hickey. I forgot."
"So did Xavier," Margali glared at him.
"I don't suppose you have another machine that can get us in there?" Althea asked Forge.
"Even if I did, we'd need a teleporter that traveled at the right dimensional frequency to get there," Forge explained. "Perhaps if I use a bi polar flux spacial grid and over ride the sub harmonic frequencies…And if I scrap different pieces from my other inventions I can make something in about twelve hours…"
"Or we could just use my magic to get us there," Margali looked at them. "Just pop on home to get the right spell book, grab a quick change of clothes suitable for battle. It would take only ten…Fifteen minutes tops."
"That'd work," Forge agreed.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"So hot..." Bobby moaned. "Too hot...I hate the heat..."
"I'm not having any trouble," Angelica shrugged.
"Of course you're not! There's like lava and fire everywhere!" Bobby shouted. "How could you not be happy?"
"And I thought my life was a living hell before..." Doug groaned. "We're going to die...AGAIN!"
"At least we are dressed for the occasion," Peter looked at his singed tuxedo.
"Yeah we might as well go in style," Angelica said.
"I'd rather not go at all!" Doug snapped. "Is that another volcano over there?"
"Let me ask you something…" Shane grumbled as the mutants trudged in the desolate wasteland with fire all around them. "Is it always this screwed up around here?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Jubilee told him. "Oh that smell…"
"Yeah the stench of betrayal is pretty rotten," Angelica glared at Kitty.
"Do you really have to fight about this now?" Doug screamed.
"He's right," Kitty sighed. "If we are where I think we are, we have to get out of here before things get worse!"
"Worse?" Shane asked. "How do things get worse?"
SNARRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLL"That answer your question?" Peter armored up as dozens of familiar monsters with large fangs headed straight towards them.
"Great!" Angelica groaned. "More Princess Fluffietta Tinkerbells!"
"More what?" Shane yelled.
"Just shut up and run!" Kitty told him.
"This is safer than the Hellfire Club?" Doug screamed as they fled for their lives.
"Kurt, where the hell are you?" Jubilee shouted.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"Kurt…Kurt please wake up. You may not be heavy but carrying you is starting to get a little ridiculous. I mean, I am returning home after a long absence. I'd like to have some kind of dignity when I walk in."
Kurt opened his eyes to find himself flung over his father's shoulder. Azazel was carrying the teleportation device with his other hand. "Oh you're awake. Good…"
Kurt tried to teleport off but couldn't. Instead he slid off his father's shoulder. "Where am I?"
"You're in my realm," Azazel told him. "This is the dimension you teleport through. Not really a coincidence if you think about it."
"But why can't I teleport out this time?" Kurt was puzzled.
"Well normally you can," Azazel admitted. "But I didn't want you to leave just yet so I sort of put a temporary spell on you. Don't worry it'll wear off soon enough. I just wanted you to meet the family."
"Family?" Kurt blinked. He saw a huge castle in the distance.
"Kurt you come from a long line of…" Azazel began. "Well actually it's just me that's a great lord but you have many members of your family that are great warriors and magicians."
"MOOORRRAAAARRRH!" Something that looked like a purple cow with three horns flew over their heads. Both father and son barely dodged it before it hit the ground. "Moooooorrrrrrr?" The creature lay there in a daze.
"You also have some relatives that are complete morons," Azazel growled. "Come on!"
They walked towards the castle. On the outside of the castle were three male demons that had a slight resemblance to Kurt. They were blue and had tails but other than that the similarities ended. One was slightly fat and wearing a brown fur lined outfit with dark blue hair. Another was much thinner wearing a red outfit with sequins and pink hair. The third was wearing black leather with a silver belt. He had long blackish blue hair and a goatee as well as a large pair of bat like wings.
"Oh yeah!" The fat one shouted. "That critter must have flown thirty feet! Good one Maxx!"
"Thanks Benos!" Maxx, the one with the wings whooped. "The Cowapult is my greatest invention ever! Right Stephan?"
"Yeah this is even better than the time we used it to splat paint on the walls!" Stephan, the one with the pink hair nodded.
"Oh really?" Azazel folded his arms. He stood right behind them. He saw there were globs of paint all over his castle walls as well as a lot of funny caricatures and graffiti in demon language. "All over the walls?"
"Yeah and then we used some dung to…" Stephan stopped and turned around. "Father?"
"Hello Boys…" Azazel growled. With a wave of his hand he used his magic to fling all three of them into some red mud.
"Aw man! And I just got this outfit!" Stephan whined.
"Father! But you're…You were dead!" Benos gasped.
"Well I'm much better now. What have you done? I haven't even been gone half a century and you idiots have wrecked my castle!" Azazel snapped.
"Uh…." Benos blinked as they crawled out of the mud. "We've been like meaning to clean that up."
"Yeah we were getting around to it," Stephan gulped.
"It was on the list," Maxx took a list from his back pocket and showed him.
"Enough!" Azazel knocked the list out of his hand. He turned to Kurt. "Sorry Kurt your brothers aren't exactly the sharpest spears in the armory."
"Brothers?" Kurt gasped.
"Half brothers," Azazel explained. "Their mother was a full demon who quite frankly makes Anna Nichole look like a Rhodes Scholar. Boys, this is your younger brother Kurt Wagner, also known as Nightcrawler. He didn't know what he was until now…"
Azazel winced as Benos started to pick his nose. "Might as well get all the shock over with," He groaned. "Kurt please believe me, most of your other brothers and sisters are not as stupid as they are."
"Most?" Kurt gasped. "Just how many do I have?"
"Well we'll find out after we take roll call," Azazel went into the castle. He began to walk around. "Ginniyeah! Ginniyeah! Where are…"
A tall bald woman with her eyes sewn shut suddenly appeared behind him. There was a diamond mark with an eye on her forehead and she was wearing robes that resembled bandages. "You…" Azazel blinked. "I hate it when you do that!"
"Welcome home my lord," She bowed. "I see you have not returned alone."
"Kurt, this is your cousin Ginniyeah," He explained. "She's a telepath. Don't worry about the eyes. She did that to herself so she could use her telepathy better."
"Greetings cousin," Ginniyeah nodded. "Shall I call the others?"
"Why not? It is my coming home party!" Azazel made his way to a huge throne in the middle of the room. "EVERYONE COME OUT NOW!"
Dozens of demons appeared. Some were blue like Kurt. Others were red like Azazel. Some were purple and others had humanoid appearances. "Lord Azazel! Lord Azazel has returned!" They cried out.
"My lord! We thought you were dead!" One female blue demon with large wings cried out.
"Please I haven't even been gone a full century," Azazel waved. "I've had vacations that lasted longer! The important thing is that I am back and I'm better than ever!"
"Lord Azazel!" The demons roared with glee.
"All right who's still alive?" Azazel looked around. "Let's see, I don't see Xanarn or Kelos…"
"They killed each other about twenty years ago," Benos said.
"Yeah they were both trying to fight for control and they cut off each other's heads at the same time!" Maxx laughed. "Snick! Snick! It was hilarious!"
"Big surprise there," Azazel sighed, clearly indicating that he wasn't. "Who else isn't here? Never mind I see who is. Anyone who isn't here is dead, am I right?"
"Except for Gobo," Stephan told him. "He was fooling around with magic again five years ago and he got sucked into another dimension. We think it's the one with those talking ponies but we're not sure."
"He always did have an unusual affinity for horses. No wonder he hasn't come back. All right Kurt here are your brothers Ydrazil…" Azazel introduced a tall pale humanoid demon with and eye patch, huge muscles, a large cross shaped scar on his chest and large black wings. "Ginniyeah's half brother."
"Let's just say our mother was grateful to Lord Azazel for slaying my father," Ginniyeah chuckled.
"Ophis…" Azazel introduced a huge feral like mutant. He pointed out a few more. "Marik, Kinan, B'all, Rhen, Zhin, Zhan…"
"I'm Zhin!" One tall red mutant with a tail called out.
"And I'm Zhan!" An identical mutant called out.
"Sorry…I always get those two confused," Azazel shrugged. "Balki, Enambram, Tain, Garak, Odo, Quark, Orion, Orak, Leosoi, Lucifer, Loki, Lenos, Martok, N'handu, Yukoro, Zenar, Helios, Tok, Rom…? You're still alive? Oh well. And there are your sisters Celene,Cleo, Marlani, Zenna, Aliania, Ysmin, Yukina, Adella, Alana, Azina, Amina, Akane, Arista, Amorata, Balania, Celes, Coral, Kima, Emerella, Damania, Darla, Saleme, Sellis, Lenna, Lyelle, Mifis, Jupex, Helene and Johanna. And over here are your nephews and cousins Gaiden, Ender, Veda, Balmara, Venosia, Zeus, Hades...I'm sorry there are a lot of new faces since I've been here."
"These are Genis, Lysander, Galadriel, Azazella, Gale, Foss and Tiruk," Maxx said pointing to more demons.
"Oh. Good. Everyone this is your brother Kurt. Say hello," Azazel waved.
"HELLO KURT!" His siblings, cousins and other relativesroared.
At that moment Kurt fainted again. "I really have to break the boy of that nasty fainting habit," Azazel sighed. "The last thing I need is another Gobo."