~ Lies-14 ~
Seth sat in the chair with his feet up on the low windowsill. He'd finally gotten all the tangles out of her hair, and together they'd managed to wash her face and remove her makeup. She was feeling better after what they'd dubbed a "happy shot" and he was wishing he could have one. He kept going over what she'd said in the middle of the night about her father, trying to decide if he should talk to her about it.
"Hey. What's up over there?" She closed the magazine. "You look sad or something."
"Naw. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. Too many nurses flirting with me."
She rolled her eyes. "Right."
The phone rang and they both stared at it.
"It's probably mom or dad." She motioned for him to answer and he picked it up. "Robert's castle with a view."
"Hey Seth, it's Dad."
"I thought you guys were going to call earlier! I tried to reach you and nobody's phone was on. What's going on?" His voice was tight with worry.
"I'm sorry, son, we had to turn them off while we were in the helicopter."
Seth swallowed hard and turned away from Summer, lowering his voice. "The - the what? Is it Ryan? Marissa?"
"Ryan is fine. He can go home as long as he stays down. I'll be taking him as soon as his paperwork is done. I'm afraid I don't have very good news about Marissa. She survived surgery, but there were some complications. They needed to operate again, so your grandfather called a friend of his, who happens to be a world-renowned neurosurgeon, who happened to be in LA. So we choppered her there. I guess the facilities in LA are better suited for her type of injuries than here. They're in surgery again now."
"Oh man. I didn't - Oh my God! How's Jimmy doing? Does Ryan know?" As soon as his dad said, "survived surgery" Seth knew it was a lot worse than he'd believed. They'd said she was in bad shape, but nobody said "near death". He just assumed she'd have surgery and everything would be fine. He was numb with shock.
"Aw, kid, Jimmy's not doing so good. I left your mom there with him. Ryan? Well, we told him, and he's just - Ryan. Stoic. He'll talk about anything but Marissa. I think being home will help him. How's Summer? Is she awake yet?"
Seth sucked in a breath. What Ryan must be feeling right now. And poor Jimmy. "She woke up, thank God. She's been in a lot of pain, but she's ok for now. Her "happy shot" just kicked in. Hey Dad? Is Ryan like, upset with me?"
Sandy chuckled. "That's funny, we were just talking about that. He said he knew you'd think that. No, son, he's not. He knows Summer doesn't have anyone else, and he knows how you feel about her. Stop worrying."
He let out a breath. "Good. I wish I could see him. Have him call up here when he gets home, if he feels up to it."
"Will do. And we'll call when we know something about Marissa, then. Give Summer our best."
"Ok. Bye." Seth hung up the phone and turned slowly back to Summer.
She motioned to the bed that was next to hers. "You look so tired. Why don't you move that bed right up against mine and lie down?"
"Summer, I've got some news." He hated having to tell her this.
"I know." Her voice was quiet. She gestured at the other bed again. She knew it wasn't good news by how he'd acted on the phone.
He rolled the table out of the way and pushed his bed against hers. After shutting the door to the hall, he crawled on, lying down on his side as she lowered the head of her bed.
"What is it?" She looked straight up at the ceiling, holding tightly to the covers with her good hand.
"Marissa - made it through surgery last night, but there were some kind of complications and they needed to operate on her again. My grandpa is friends with some famous neurosurgeon, and he's in LA right now, so they took her there in a helicopter."
"So it's really bad? She might not - make it?"
He took her hand. "I'm sorry, Summer. It's very bad."
He watched as her eyes filled, then she took several deep breaths.
"Ok. Mr. Cooper?" Calm, quiet voice.
"Not so good. Mom stayed in LA with him."
"That's so nice of her. Your parents are such good people. Ryan?"
"Won't talk about it. Dad's getting ready to take him home now."
"Ok. I'm so glad he's not hurt worse. Will you turn the light off, please?"
"Sure." He got up and quickly darkened the room, hurrying back to her. "Are you all right?"
"No. But I just had that shot and I think it's helping, plus getting all hysterical doesn't do any good anyway. Doesn't change things." She was still staring at the ceiling.
"It might make you feel better if you let it out." He definitely wished he could score whatever drug she was on now. Fat tears slid from the corners of her eyes. He wasn't sure what to do to help her.
She finally turned brown eyes toward him. "Would you -?"
Not realizing she hadn't ended her sentence, he was confused. "Would I feel better?"
She looked away quickly, embarrassed. "No. Never mind."
"Oh." He sat up and took off his shoes, dropping them to the floor. After pulling the blankets out of the crack between beds and spreading them out, he slid under the covers with her. The teddy bear was moved over and he turned on his side, gently placing an arm across her waist. "Would I do this? I thought you'd never ask. Am I hurting you?"
"No." She smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate." He shook his head at her.
"I know, but we're not - I can't - forget it. Do you think Coop's gonna be ok?"
"I honestly don't know. I hope so. At least we know she has the best doctor, anyway. That's one good thing." Seth squeezed her very gently. "We're friends, aren't we?" She nodded. "This is some seriously hard news, Summer. There's nothing wrong or embarrassing about asking a friend to help you deal."
She nodded. She was worried he would think she was leading him on, when in truth she had no idea how to feel about anything right now. This was all just too much, but he'd said exactly what she needed to hear. "I know, but everything's so confusing, and I don't want -"
He moved his hand over her mouth for a second. "I know. End of discussion."
She relaxed finally and tugged on his arm so he'd move closer.
He pulled away. "This is your bad side. I don't want to hurt you."
"Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you if I'm in pain. Just - please?" She wanted hide in him, she needed him all around her. He was like the undisturbed air between a hail of bullets.
Seth carefully slid his arm under her pillow and held her tighter with the other as he scooted up against her side. He brought his knee up and laid his leg gently across hers. "Like that?"
"Yes. Exactly like that." She sighed and settled against him. "Ok for you?"
"Mmmmm."
"Were you really up all night?"
"Mmmmhmm. Most of it."
"Do you want to sleep now?"
"Not if you want to talk."
"Ok. A neurosurgeon is what - like a brain surgeon, right?" She felt him nod. "Do you know what's wrong with her?"
He shook his head. "I don't, I'm sorry. Dad didn't go into detail, and I was too shocked to think to ask. From what he told me before, I didn't know it was this serious. I'll call him back." He moved to get up.
She quickly stopped him with a touch on his arm. "No. I don't think I want to know right now. I can't imagine horrible things if I don't know what's wrong." She wiped away a tear. "She had enough problems before this. It just makes me so sad. She has to be ok, Seth. I don't know what I'll do if she isn't."
He hugged her and kissed her forehead. "I know how you feel, sweetheart. And it doesn't seem fair that all these things keep happening to her, does it? We just have to think positive and hope for the best. We'll get through this, I promise." He didn't really know what to say, and hoped his words would help her somehow.
She seemed to accept his promise. "Ok."
They were quiet for a while and he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Her next quiet, hesitant words brought him out of his fog.
"Yesterday. It must have, um, been horrible. For you. Are you ...ok?"
Seth's eyes snapped open. Hers were closed.
"I mean. Is there, like. Anything you want to, uh - talk about?"
He felt a warm rush of emotion go through him. She had never shown concern for him like that. Not even when they dated. "It was an all-time rock bottom on my list of favorite days, yes. But I don't think you really need to hear about it, since it's the reason you're in pain and in a hospital."
"The question wasn't about me." Her voice was still low, but she sounded braver. "Tell me what it was like for you."
"Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I even told myself to wake up once; I was so sure it wasn't real." He stopped lost in his memory.
"When?"
He spoke slowly. "When I finally got to you. It was all so - wrong. I couldn't believe the chain of events, and things were all wacky. I closed my eyes, told myself to wake up, and looked again, expecting to see my bedroom. But you were still - lying there. In the street."
She found his hand and slid her fingers through his. "What chain of events? Wacky how?"
"She backed out and started to take off but she killed the motor. You and Ryan ran after her. He went around to the passenger side and got in, trying to get the key while you tried to talk her out of leaving. But Ryan was too late." He swallowed and she felt him shaking against her. "You know the rest."
Summer stroked his arm soothingly. "Tell me about the wacky."
"Well, when I ran down the driveway, it was like slow motion in a movie or something. The car taking off was so loud it hurt my ears, but when I reached you it was completely quiet. I was thinking some weird stuff about how there was a circle of silence just around you, and birds were chirping everywhere else. I thought I could see the air moving around me, like SEE it, colors and everything." He got lost in thought again. "No, the birds were heartbroken. But they can sing now."
"Huh? You lost me at the end there."
"Nothing. Just more weirdness." He was embarrassed.
"Seth, it's called shock. You were in shock, not being weird."
"Oh. Good to know."
"How long was it before you found out what happened to Ryan and Coop? It must have been awful, not knowing."
"It was horrible. We'd been here a while, and I'd finished your paperwork before I saw the wreck on the TV. Dave got the note about Ryan to me soon after that. I didn't hear from Mom and Dad about Cooper until last night. I thought I was going insane, I was so worried about the three of you. I kept seeing those images, like they were on tape in my head. I still do. They won't go away. Ryan disappearing into the car. Marissa's face as she hit the gas. The car smacking you into the pillar, and you dropping in the street." He shivered involuntarily. "And I'm starting to scare myself with my violent urges. I've wanted to shove my fist into things for the last 4 days."
"Those are normal reactions, too. You saw some terrible things happen, people you care about were hurting, and there wasn't anything you could do about it. Frustration and worry can lead to violent thoughts in the best of people."
He lifted his head to look down at her, eyebrows raised in question.
"What? I'm a candy striper. I don't just hand out books and smile vacantly; I watch, listen and learn, too."
He settled back on her pillow. "Ok, Dr. Roberts. Your eyes are glazing over a little. Do you think you can sleep? Wanna take a nap with me?"
"Mmmm. Yes. We nap well together."
"We do indeed, my friend." He was quiet a moment. "Thanks. For, you know, asking. And making me talk about it. I do feel better."
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate."
He smiled a little. "I know."
****
Seth sat in the chair with his feet up on the low windowsill. He'd finally gotten all the tangles out of her hair, and together they'd managed to wash her face and remove her makeup. She was feeling better after what they'd dubbed a "happy shot" and he was wishing he could have one. He kept going over what she'd said in the middle of the night about her father, trying to decide if he should talk to her about it.
"Hey. What's up over there?" She closed the magazine. "You look sad or something."
"Naw. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. Too many nurses flirting with me."
She rolled her eyes. "Right."
The phone rang and they both stared at it.
"It's probably mom or dad." She motioned for him to answer and he picked it up. "Robert's castle with a view."
"Hey Seth, it's Dad."
"I thought you guys were going to call earlier! I tried to reach you and nobody's phone was on. What's going on?" His voice was tight with worry.
"I'm sorry, son, we had to turn them off while we were in the helicopter."
Seth swallowed hard and turned away from Summer, lowering his voice. "The - the what? Is it Ryan? Marissa?"
"Ryan is fine. He can go home as long as he stays down. I'll be taking him as soon as his paperwork is done. I'm afraid I don't have very good news about Marissa. She survived surgery, but there were some complications. They needed to operate again, so your grandfather called a friend of his, who happens to be a world-renowned neurosurgeon, who happened to be in LA. So we choppered her there. I guess the facilities in LA are better suited for her type of injuries than here. They're in surgery again now."
"Oh man. I didn't - Oh my God! How's Jimmy doing? Does Ryan know?" As soon as his dad said, "survived surgery" Seth knew it was a lot worse than he'd believed. They'd said she was in bad shape, but nobody said "near death". He just assumed she'd have surgery and everything would be fine. He was numb with shock.
"Aw, kid, Jimmy's not doing so good. I left your mom there with him. Ryan? Well, we told him, and he's just - Ryan. Stoic. He'll talk about anything but Marissa. I think being home will help him. How's Summer? Is she awake yet?"
Seth sucked in a breath. What Ryan must be feeling right now. And poor Jimmy. "She woke up, thank God. She's been in a lot of pain, but she's ok for now. Her "happy shot" just kicked in. Hey Dad? Is Ryan like, upset with me?"
Sandy chuckled. "That's funny, we were just talking about that. He said he knew you'd think that. No, son, he's not. He knows Summer doesn't have anyone else, and he knows how you feel about her. Stop worrying."
He let out a breath. "Good. I wish I could see him. Have him call up here when he gets home, if he feels up to it."
"Will do. And we'll call when we know something about Marissa, then. Give Summer our best."
"Ok. Bye." Seth hung up the phone and turned slowly back to Summer.
She motioned to the bed that was next to hers. "You look so tired. Why don't you move that bed right up against mine and lie down?"
"Summer, I've got some news." He hated having to tell her this.
"I know." Her voice was quiet. She gestured at the other bed again. She knew it wasn't good news by how he'd acted on the phone.
He rolled the table out of the way and pushed his bed against hers. After shutting the door to the hall, he crawled on, lying down on his side as she lowered the head of her bed.
"What is it?" She looked straight up at the ceiling, holding tightly to the covers with her good hand.
"Marissa - made it through surgery last night, but there were some kind of complications and they needed to operate on her again. My grandpa is friends with some famous neurosurgeon, and he's in LA right now, so they took her there in a helicopter."
"So it's really bad? She might not - make it?"
He took her hand. "I'm sorry, Summer. It's very bad."
He watched as her eyes filled, then she took several deep breaths.
"Ok. Mr. Cooper?" Calm, quiet voice.
"Not so good. Mom stayed in LA with him."
"That's so nice of her. Your parents are such good people. Ryan?"
"Won't talk about it. Dad's getting ready to take him home now."
"Ok. I'm so glad he's not hurt worse. Will you turn the light off, please?"
"Sure." He got up and quickly darkened the room, hurrying back to her. "Are you all right?"
"No. But I just had that shot and I think it's helping, plus getting all hysterical doesn't do any good anyway. Doesn't change things." She was still staring at the ceiling.
"It might make you feel better if you let it out." He definitely wished he could score whatever drug she was on now. Fat tears slid from the corners of her eyes. He wasn't sure what to do to help her.
She finally turned brown eyes toward him. "Would you -?"
Not realizing she hadn't ended her sentence, he was confused. "Would I feel better?"
She looked away quickly, embarrassed. "No. Never mind."
"Oh." He sat up and took off his shoes, dropping them to the floor. After pulling the blankets out of the crack between beds and spreading them out, he slid under the covers with her. The teddy bear was moved over and he turned on his side, gently placing an arm across her waist. "Would I do this? I thought you'd never ask. Am I hurting you?"
"No." She smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate." He shook his head at her.
"I know, but we're not - I can't - forget it. Do you think Coop's gonna be ok?"
"I honestly don't know. I hope so. At least we know she has the best doctor, anyway. That's one good thing." Seth squeezed her very gently. "We're friends, aren't we?" She nodded. "This is some seriously hard news, Summer. There's nothing wrong or embarrassing about asking a friend to help you deal."
She nodded. She was worried he would think she was leading him on, when in truth she had no idea how to feel about anything right now. This was all just too much, but he'd said exactly what she needed to hear. "I know, but everything's so confusing, and I don't want -"
He moved his hand over her mouth for a second. "I know. End of discussion."
She relaxed finally and tugged on his arm so he'd move closer.
He pulled away. "This is your bad side. I don't want to hurt you."
"Oh, don't worry, I'll tell you if I'm in pain. Just - please?" She wanted hide in him, she needed him all around her. He was like the undisturbed air between a hail of bullets.
Seth carefully slid his arm under her pillow and held her tighter with the other as he scooted up against her side. He brought his knee up and laid his leg gently across hers. "Like that?"
"Yes. Exactly like that." She sighed and settled against him. "Ok for you?"
"Mmmmm."
"Were you really up all night?"
"Mmmmhmm. Most of it."
"Do you want to sleep now?"
"Not if you want to talk."
"Ok. A neurosurgeon is what - like a brain surgeon, right?" She felt him nod. "Do you know what's wrong with her?"
He shook his head. "I don't, I'm sorry. Dad didn't go into detail, and I was too shocked to think to ask. From what he told me before, I didn't know it was this serious. I'll call him back." He moved to get up.
She quickly stopped him with a touch on his arm. "No. I don't think I want to know right now. I can't imagine horrible things if I don't know what's wrong." She wiped away a tear. "She had enough problems before this. It just makes me so sad. She has to be ok, Seth. I don't know what I'll do if she isn't."
He hugged her and kissed her forehead. "I know how you feel, sweetheart. And it doesn't seem fair that all these things keep happening to her, does it? We just have to think positive and hope for the best. We'll get through this, I promise." He didn't really know what to say, and hoped his words would help her somehow.
She seemed to accept his promise. "Ok."
They were quiet for a while and he felt himself drifting off to sleep. Her next quiet, hesitant words brought him out of his fog.
"Yesterday. It must have, um, been horrible. For you. Are you ...ok?"
Seth's eyes snapped open. Hers were closed.
"I mean. Is there, like. Anything you want to, uh - talk about?"
He felt a warm rush of emotion go through him. She had never shown concern for him like that. Not even when they dated. "It was an all-time rock bottom on my list of favorite days, yes. But I don't think you really need to hear about it, since it's the reason you're in pain and in a hospital."
"The question wasn't about me." Her voice was still low, but she sounded braver. "Tell me what it was like for you."
"Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I even told myself to wake up once; I was so sure it wasn't real." He stopped lost in his memory.
"When?"
He spoke slowly. "When I finally got to you. It was all so - wrong. I couldn't believe the chain of events, and things were all wacky. I closed my eyes, told myself to wake up, and looked again, expecting to see my bedroom. But you were still - lying there. In the street."
She found his hand and slid her fingers through his. "What chain of events? Wacky how?"
"She backed out and started to take off but she killed the motor. You and Ryan ran after her. He went around to the passenger side and got in, trying to get the key while you tried to talk her out of leaving. But Ryan was too late." He swallowed and she felt him shaking against her. "You know the rest."
Summer stroked his arm soothingly. "Tell me about the wacky."
"Well, when I ran down the driveway, it was like slow motion in a movie or something. The car taking off was so loud it hurt my ears, but when I reached you it was completely quiet. I was thinking some weird stuff about how there was a circle of silence just around you, and birds were chirping everywhere else. I thought I could see the air moving around me, like SEE it, colors and everything." He got lost in thought again. "No, the birds were heartbroken. But they can sing now."
"Huh? You lost me at the end there."
"Nothing. Just more weirdness." He was embarrassed.
"Seth, it's called shock. You were in shock, not being weird."
"Oh. Good to know."
"How long was it before you found out what happened to Ryan and Coop? It must have been awful, not knowing."
"It was horrible. We'd been here a while, and I'd finished your paperwork before I saw the wreck on the TV. Dave got the note about Ryan to me soon after that. I didn't hear from Mom and Dad about Cooper until last night. I thought I was going insane, I was so worried about the three of you. I kept seeing those images, like they were on tape in my head. I still do. They won't go away. Ryan disappearing into the car. Marissa's face as she hit the gas. The car smacking you into the pillar, and you dropping in the street." He shivered involuntarily. "And I'm starting to scare myself with my violent urges. I've wanted to shove my fist into things for the last 4 days."
"Those are normal reactions, too. You saw some terrible things happen, people you care about were hurting, and there wasn't anything you could do about it. Frustration and worry can lead to violent thoughts in the best of people."
He lifted his head to look down at her, eyebrows raised in question.
"What? I'm a candy striper. I don't just hand out books and smile vacantly; I watch, listen and learn, too."
He settled back on her pillow. "Ok, Dr. Roberts. Your eyes are glazing over a little. Do you think you can sleep? Wanna take a nap with me?"
"Mmmm. Yes. We nap well together."
"We do indeed, my friend." He was quiet a moment. "Thanks. For, you know, asking. And making me talk about it. I do feel better."
"Don't thank me. It's not like I'm doing something I hate."
He smiled a little. "I know."
****