Nothing has suddenly jumped into my possession. Josh Schwartz is still the shit. (Pst, see I told you. Look at this speed. And length. Who loves you, baby?) Peace and love...
This chapter's dedicated to Justine.
"Boo."
Chris spun around on his chair to have his eyes covered by his dad's dark brown jacket. Luke laughed and swung the boy up onto his shoulder.
"Daddy, guess what."
"What?"
"Mommy said it was okay."
"What was okay? Cancun?"
"Yeah."
"Awesome, kid. You're going to love it so much there. I went down about a month ago, and they tell me it's just as hot. And the beaches are fantastic."
Chris nodded. "And we're going to hang out, right?"
"Of course, kid. I just have to get a few things done and then I will be all yours." Luke kissed the top of the little boy's head and grinned. "So where's your mom?"
"Uh...I think she's out with Grandma."
"All right. So what are you up to?"
Chris shrugged. Luke clapped a hand on each of his shoulders and looked over his head at the thin white piece of paper in front of the seven year old. A dark green oval sat in the direct center, with dramatic highlights all over it. There was another patch drawn connected to the oval of dark beige, with the background covered in dark, dark blue. A little brown square that was desperately trying to be a cube stayed off to the side.
"Did you do this?" Luke tapped his hand up and down on Chris's shoulder. Chris nodded.
"What is it?"
Chris cocked his head for a minute, but just shrugged. "Samoa."
"Sam what?"
"Samoa. It's an island in the South Pacific Ocean."
"Oh. Okay. That's cool."
"Yeah."
"Why do you like it so much?"
Chris shrugged again and crossed his arms around his chest. "Seth told me stories about it."
"Oh. Okay. Like what?"
"Just how pretty it was."
"Does he tell you a lot of stories?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it sounds cool and stuff."
"That's good. That you guys can talk. He and your mom back together?"
Chris nodded. "Yeah."
"Cool."
"Yup."
"Okay, so I'm going to...is Ryan here?"
"Uh, yeah. Upstairs."
"Okay. Thanks, kid."
Luke wrapped his arm around Chris's neck and jogged up the stairs. Chris leaned back over the sheet of paper and drew a few dolphins in the ocean. Summer liked dolphins. He folded up the piece of paper and walked out to the pool house to put it under his pillow.
Luke nodded curtly to Jenn as she walked out of her room. She nodded back, watching him close the door behind him. No matter what he said, Jenn knew that Seth didn't like Luke. She didn't like him either. Never really did.
Luke stood with his back against the door as Ryan made his bed.
"You know, it's like I'm imposing now."
"What do you mean, man?" Ryan tucked the sheet under the mattress and leaned against the desk chair in the corner.
"I don't...it's very awkward. It's like people here think I only come for Summer."
"And you don't."
"No, no, of course not. Chris is my son."
"That's true."
"Right. So people should get that I don't just come for Summer, so why do I get those looks? Especially from your mom."
Ryan pivoted onto one foot. "Kirsten's...protective. And she really wants Seth and Summer to work out. Maybe she sees you as a threat."
"A threat to what? If Summer wants to be with Seth, I'm not going to stop her."
"I know. Summer knows. Seth knows. Kirsten isn't sure."
"But what about Jenn? She looks at me the same way."
"Jenn's stubborn and very attached to Seth. She'll get over it."
"But even Chris. He's...reluctant to talk to me. It's like he's not sure what he wants to tell me and what he doesn't."
"I don't know, man. You probably don't have to worry so much about that either. Chris is okay. And he talks to Seth." Luke's jaw tightened just a little. Ryan shook his head and fumbled slightly with his words. "And...and Summer too."
"Everyone really doesn't care that that dude's been floating around the ocean for a decade, do they?"
"Luke, man..."
"It's like he gets everything back by just smiling and saying he's sorry. Why? What makes him so...damn...forgivable?"
"I don't know. He is still a good guy, though, Luke. I mean..."
"How do you know? He's only been here a few months."
"I don't know. But he's still Seth. It's not like he could've become a different person."
"How do you know? He was out there for a long time."
"Luke, stop. He's Seth. And I-I know he's still...good."
"You didn't even know him that well when he lived here. You knew him for a year. One year's able to make nine years okay?"
"Stop. Do not question how well I knew him. I knew him. Better than most people here. Okay?"
"Calm down, okay, dude? Relax. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. But what about Summer? She knew him for even less time."
"Summer's Summer. You want to know why she thinks the way she does? You ask her. I don't know. And you know what all this is making you sound like, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You sound jealous."
"I'm not."
"Yeah? Then why are you chastising him? What has he ever done to you? Besides take away Summer."
"I don't...well, I mean, I do...Summer's Chris's mom. And so I guess I have to tale care of her. And I don't know if I think she should be trusting this guy as much as she is."
"What if it wasn't Seth? What if Summer fell for some guy around here? Do you honestly think you'd be this upset that they were getting close?"
"I don't know. Why does it matter anyway?"
"Because. If it was any other guy, you wouldn't be getting upset because you'd know that it wasn't going to be serious. You're intimidated by Seth, because you know that she cares about him. And that there's a chance that they're in it for the long run. And that scares you."
"But I don't like Summer like that."
"Yeah? You sure?"
"Yes. I have a girlfriend now, anyway. I'm just looking out for her and for Chris. It's my responsibility."
"Come on, Luke. Don't be using big words you don't understand."
Luke's face shot up. "What? What did you say?"
"I'm just saying you don't really get responsibility so well. You don't have that many. Responsibilities."
"What are you saying? I don't stay here all the time, so I don't care about my son? About his mother? I don't have responsibilities? You know shit, dude."
"That's one of them."
"One of what?"
"Jenn and Chris have been using words like that. And they say it's okay because you say them. See? It's a responsibility that you don't understand. You're a role model to these kids and if you do something, they think it's okay."
"I don't think I'm any role model to those kids when they have people like you around them."
"What's that mean?"
"That means that you guys are making them believe that I'm no good. Just because you, and Kirsten, and even Summer like Seth a little too much and you think I'm a threat or whatever just because I've been around when he hasn't."
"Luke. Why are you getting mad at me?"
"Because you're getting mad at me."
"Just because you're being an ass about Seth."
"Someone needs to be. He has a power over everyone in this house and he doesn't even deserve it."
"Whatever, man. I gotta go."
Ryan walked to the door, pushing Luke aside. Luke put his hand on Ryan's shoulder, stopping him from going forward.
"Luke..."
"What happened to you? You didn't use to pick favorites."
"Get off me, man."
Luke took back his hand and shoved both of them into his sweatshirt. "It's true though, dude. Think about it."
Ryan shoved the door closed as hard as he could and stalked down the stairs. He was right, and that was probably what pissed Ryan off the most. Luke, the kid who never did anything right but got it right in the end, was completely right. Ryan never picked favorites. He gave everyone an equal say and he listened to all of it. It's what got him through those last painful years of high school when he decided to finish it. It's what kept him alive with Trey's friends. But Luke talking bad about Seth behind his back wasn't right. It wasn't right at all. Seth didn't need that shit. He didn't need any of it. But there was still that voice in the back of Ryan's head that said he blew up at Luke because he was afraid if one person yelled at Seth again, he might blow them all off. The voice said that he and Kirsten thought the same way. They thought that if Seth wasn't happy, then he would leave them again. And no one needed that.
Seth had gone down to Sandy's office to talk to him, so Ryan was left in the house with Chris, Jenn, and Luke. A weird combination, so if he could avoid all of them, that would probably be for the best. He remembered easily the year of sixteen. Luke can't just say he can't remember. Ryan remembered perfectly. Seth was always laughing about something and making Ryan laugh with him. Summer was always smiling, and for patches in time, Marissa couldn't even hide her smiles. They were all happy, and anything Ryan could do to get that back would have to do.
"Daddy?"
Ryan spun around to see Jenn looking up at him with those big eyes of hers that tore through his skin.
"Is something wrong?"
"No. Jenn, no. It's all...fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, yes. It's all okay."
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, but he knew she would never believe him. Jenn didn't say anything, but walked forward and hugged her dad's waist as tightly as she could. Ryan bent his head down and stroked her hair with his middle finger. Her face buried quickly into his tee shirt and he thumbed the light, fragile hairs on the back of her neck.
"Daddy, are you mad at Uncle Luke?"
"No."
"Are you mad at Uncle Seth?"
"No. Baby, I'm fine. Are you okay?"
"Perfect."
"I know."
"What?"
"Nothing, why didn't you go with Aunt Summer, Aunt Marissa, and Grandma? Didn't you want to see all the pretty dresses?" Summer, Marissa, and Kirsten had gone to find dresses for Sandy's birthday party that they were supposed to have on some yacht. It had been a while since Ryan had been on a yacht. It had been forever since he said "pretty dresses."
"Yeah, but I wanted to stay with you."
"You should have gone."
"No, it's okay. I want to be with you, Daddy."
Ryan smiled lightly and kissed her cheeks. "Thank you. But you should do what you want, okay?"
Jenn nodded. "I know. But you need me."
"What?"
"I heard you talking to Uncle Seth last night. You said you needed me to keep sane."
"You shouldn't eavesdrop on people, baby."
"I know. I'm sorry. But I heard my name. Uncle Seth said you were right."
"What do you think about Uncle Seth?"
Jenn's smile turned into a grin. "He's cool."
"Yeah?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Why?"
"Because. He isn't like you and Aunt Summer and Aunt Marissa. It's like he has all these reasons to be happy. And he's funny too."
"Yeah. He's funny."
"And he and Aunt Summer are totally to die for."
Ryan laughed and guided Jenn around to his hip. "Who told you that?"
"Aunt Marissa."
"Uh-huh."
"She's funny too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And sometimes she talks about...you know what."
"What? She does?"
Jenn nodded and giggled. "Yeah."
Ryan shook his head and pulled Jenn up off the ground. She was still giggling.
Seth sat on the chair in front of Sandy's desk, watching the creases in his forehead get worried over some piece of paper in front of him.
"Dad, you know, you don't have to work so hard."
"Yes, I do." Sandy didn't even look up.
"Mom misses you."
"What do you mean; I saw her this morning."
"But you don't see her like you used to. It makes her upset."
"Seth, son, don't worry about me and your mother. We're fine."
Seth shook his head and crossed his feet. "Dad, you know she loves you. And she needs you."
"She has me."
"I was talking to Ryan. He said you guys have been like this for a while."
"Ryan doesn't have to worry about us either."
"But he does. Because Mom waits for you to come home every day. She gets worried about you. You don't talk to her so much anymore."
"I talk to my family, Seth. Don't tell me I don't."
"You talk to Summer."
"She's family."
"But you don't talk to Mom."
"Your mother is fine. I am fine. Don't worry so much."
"You don't want her to do something she doesn't want to do."
"What? Who?"
"Mom. If you keep doing this to her, she isn't going to be happy."
"I'm not doing anything to her."
"Yeah. That's the problem. You don't..."
"If you're going to give me sex tips, son, I might have to..."
"No. That's not what I mean. You should just...do something for her."
"Like what?"
"Something that lets her know you still love her as much as you do." Seth pulled his wrist up and shrugged. "Whatever. It's still your decision. Just think about it. I have to go. See you at home."
Seth got up and walked out of the office room, nodding to the secretary.
Summer, Marissa, and Kirsten came home with full bags. Marissa and Summer fell into the living room next to Ryan and Jenn; Kirsten fussed over blueprints on the kitchen table.
Seth walked in too and sat at the kitchen table across from his mother.
"What's up, sweetie?"
"Nothing. Finish first quarter in a little less than month in school."
"That's great, honey."
"Seth, did you talk to him?" Summer stopped short when she saw Kirsten and just smiled. Seth nodded and kissed Summer briefly on her cheek.
Kirsten looked up. "Something wrong?"
Seth shook his head. "No. Nothing." From his jean pocket, a dulled ring came. He took it out, looked at the number, and nodded. "Be right back."
He walked out of the room and sighed as he clicked the answer button.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Where are you?"
"Closer to California than I was when I called you before."
"Stay there."
"Why? You coming to get me?"
"No. Because. I don't want to hurt you again."
"Seth, you wouldn't..."
"Yes, I would. I promise you that. You come here; I will hurt you again. And I don't want to. B, I told you..."
"You said a lot. You also said you loved me."
"I did. But I mean, I don't know if I did. But whatever was there or might've been there isn't. Sorry."
"No, you're not. And I don't think it's all not there. If I could just see you."
"No. You can't. I have to go."
"Oh right. I do hate to take you away from your girlfriend."
"No, you don't."
"I was being sarcastic. Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but yes."
"That was quick."
"She's that great."
"Right. So give her a kiss from me."
"No. B, stop this."
"Stop what?"
"Calling me. Being bitter. Hating people you don't know."
"But Seth, we..."
"No. We aren't. We didn't. B, I have to go. Bye."
He hung up the phone and turned it off, before walking back into the kitchen to give Summer more than some brief kiss on her cheek.
Ryan stretched his legs out farther and sighed as Jenn walked out of the room to talk to Summer. Marissa smiled in the smile she used on people she didn't really like, and he just laughed.
"We haven't been alone since..."
"Since Jenn had chicken pox."
"That's right. That was a hard day."
"Yeah."
"So now we have to come up with our own conversations."
"I guess so."
Marissa grinned her real grin, and Ryan shrugged.
"How's...work?"
Luke walked in to disturb any potential conversation, looking frantically from side to side. He focused his gaze on Ryan for a second, looked away to Marissa, smiled, and jogged into the kitchen. Ryan exhaled, put up a finger to Marissa, and followed Luke. Marissa looked quickly around, realized she was alone, and followed Ryan.
"Summer, I think I need to..." Luke started, but cringed when Ryan entered the room.
"Summer, don't let him..."
"Shut up, Ryan, no one asked you to...this doesn't...involve..."
"Luke? Is something wrong?" Summer furrowed her eyebrow and stood up. It occurred to her that every person who lived in the house was watching her, Luke, and Ryan.
"Yes, Summer, can we..."
"Summer, don't talk to him...alone. He's going to..."
"Shut up, Chino."
Summer raised her eyebrows. Chino was another 'so high school' phrase, and Luke looked a little surprised himself that he had said it.
"Luke? What's wrong?"
"Summer, please, don't. You don't want to hear...you don't need to..."
"Ryan, why the hell didn't you just tell me that you didn't need to hear this? If I thought you were going to be an asshole about all this, then I wouldn't have come to you in the first place."
"I...I'm not...well, Luke, if you think you're so right, why don't you tell everyone your great idea?" Ryan sputtered out his words, a little shocked that he had that much defense for Seth in him.
"Fine. I-okay. Summer, I don't think you're thinking at all. I think that you do not have the whole picture in mind and I don't think that anyone in this room should be willing to just...see this...happen. Cohen, man, I think you're a great guy, but I think you don't know what people here need. I think you all should see that-that sometimes time is needed to fully...understand...all this." Luke looked kind of glad he had gotten through so many words so fast.
"Luke, what the hell are you talking about?" Kirsten's hands went down to her thighs, worry starting to crease her forehead.
"I don't think you all should...see...forgive Seth...like you have."
Kirsten laughed for a second and shook her head. "I cannot believe that this bullshit is not over yet."
"Mom." Seth nudged her hand with his, trying to quiet down the outburst he saw coming.
"No, Seth, these people need to understand that I don't care what they think about how I feel about you, about...everything. Luke, Ryan, Chris, all of you, you have to have faith in people sometimes and I don't want to hear you talking trash about my son. I do not want to hear you saying things about him that I do not believe are true, and I do not want to see you chase him out of where he belongs. Seth, honey, you belong here. Okay? And no one can prove anything otherwise."
"Mom, stop." Seth covered her hand with his and bit his lip. "I guess this is our confessional night or something, but I guess I should get my own say in here. Luke, man, I am sorry if I did anything to worry you, but if you really feel that strongly about it, then I think a lot of people here, and Dad, agree with you. I shouldn't expect you guys to be as great as you have been, and I want to apologize for letting all of this happen. I'm twenty five and I depend on my mother and father. Insane. So I guess it would be best if I just...step out."
"No. Honey, please, don't."
"Mom, it's okay. I was...I was talking to Dad today, and he mentioned that on my last birthday, my trust fund from Grandpa became active, and...so, I guess that money was the only real reason I had to impose on you guys. Mom, I love you. Ryan, yeah. Summer...But if I'm twenty five and lucky enough to just...get 2.5 million dollars, it would make sense for me to move out. Sorry, Mom, this is going to be for the best. I'll still see you all the time. I swear. Okay. Yeah. So...Luke, if that's what was worrying you...it's okay. I agree."
Luke appeared to be speechless. He couldn't exactly say that's not what he meant. And now, people were just going to hate him more.
"No, man, I-you don't have to do that."
"No, I do. You're right. I don't have what everybody here needs in mind. It's for the best."
Seth pulled his lips in and nodded again. "Yeah."
He walked out of the room, lacing his fingers through Summer's, and pulling her out with him. Luke shook his head and walked into the living room, looking like he was ready to cry.
Seth sat on the edge of the pool, dangling his legs in the water. "Summer, there's this thing that, I mean, I don't know if it's going to be a thing, but it's showing up anyway so it could become a thing."
Summer raised her eyebrows, trying to smile, but it faded away when she saw the look on Seth's face.
"Okay. So...you want to tell me?"
Seth's throat went dry, but he nodded anyway. "Um...there's this girl. And she thinks that...well, I mean...I used to...date her, right? When I was...out there. And so now she thinks that we still...have a future or whatever, and we don't. We don't. But she...she keeps saying she's going to come here and...whatever. So I just...thought you should know."
"She thinks you still like her?"
"She thinks I still love her."
"You loved her?"
"I don't know. I mean...I don't know."
"Oh. Okay."
"Yeah."
Seth created light waves with his foot, avoiding Summer's eyes. She nodded again and sat beside him, finding his fingers with hers.
"Seth?"
"Yeah."
"I love you."
He nodded, playing absently with her fingers and staring at the ripples he made. Summer didn't even care that he didn't say anything back. She just rested her head on his shoulder, and watched the water with him. And once he was sure that her eyes were on the pool, Seth mouthed the words himself. "I love you." "I love you." "I love you."
