Thank you for the reviews of Chapter One. I found the Home episode good, but insufficient. I think that Archer's reaction to the Expanse could have been a continuing theme throughout the 4th season. Here is another scene that I would have like to have seen.

---------------------------------------

Erika was always a light sleeper. Even though Jonathan got out of bed with exaggerated care, she woke up anyway. She sleepily watched as he slipped on pajama pants. At first she was admiring his lean, muscular frame. But as he made his way out of the bedroom, she noticed the tension in his back, and an uncharacteristic slump to his shoulders.

She quietly slipped out of the bed and wrapped a robe around herself. Picking up his robe from the chair, she followed him out into the living room of his apartment. Her bare feet made no noise on the plush carpet. She looked around the living room and into the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then, a movement from the balcony curtains caught her eye. She saw him standing on the balcony, silhouetted, against the full moon. He was standing up to the railing, leaning on his out stretched arms. But his head was hanging down and his shoulders were quivering slightly.

Erika sighed. It was as she had feared. She hesitated. Jon was an extremely private person. Outwardly, he was friendly and warm. But, she knew this was a façade. He hated to let his guard down in front of anyone, even herself.

She went into the kitchen and pulled out two beers from the refrigerator. Then she stepped through the balcony door. The beer bottles quietly clinked on the table where she put them down.

Jonathan started, pulled his hands down from the railing and turned so that his back was to her. "Go back to bed," he said gruffly, his voice was thick with emotion.

"It's cold out here," she said simply, draping the robe over his shoulders.

"I'm fine," he insisted. But he put his arms through the sleeves and wrapped himself with the robe. He held his head up defiantly, and kept his back turned squarely to her.

Erika hesitated again. She could see the waves breaking on the beach in the moonlight.

"It's beautiful out here," she offered. But, Jonathan did not respond. He seemed to be waiting for her to leave. "Jon", she put her hand on his shoulder, "did you have a nightmare?" His shoulder muscles tightening under her hand confirmed her guess. But still he refused to speak.

"Jon, it will help if you talk about," she continued to gently prod. But instead, he shrugged her hand off and stepped away. She decided to try another tactic. Erika put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. "Do you think you are the only one who has lost someone under his command?"

Abruptly, he turned around and roughly grabbed her by her shoulders. "You have no idea what you are talking about!" he hissed at her.

Erika held her ground. "Right again," she thought, and "now I've got him talking." She met his glare with her own for several long moments. Then her expression softened. Her heart ached to see the trail of tears running down his face. "Jon, you did your best. It couldn't be helped."

He continued to glare at her for a few more seconds. Then abruptly his face fell, his hands dropped away from her shoulders, and he turn away. But his time he turned to look out over the ocean. He rubbed his face with the sleeve of his robe.

"I let them down, Erika. They were depending on me, and I let them down," his voice was barely above a whisper. "I am the Captain. They are my responsibility!" he growled. He turned away from her and started pacing. "I'm suppose to be the Great Jonathan Archer!" his voice was dripping with sarcasm, his arms gesturing in wide arcs. "Savior of the world! But in reality, I couldn't even save my own crew!" the bitterness rang out in his voice. He stopped, staring up at the sky.

"Jon..." Erika said quietly.

"And don't give me any bullshit about "acceptable level of casualties", or that Vulcan crap about "the needs of the many!" He severely waved the clichés away, and started pacing again. "That doesn't mean shit to the familieswho lost their loved ones! Their children."

Erika watched him patiently, letting him get it off his chest. She suspected that this is only the second time that he had talked openly since the Expanse.

He paused again. Putting his hands on the railing, he looked out over the bay for several moments.

"I don't know which was worst, the families that were mad at me, or the ones who thanked me. I remember Crewman Wong's Grandmother. She was a tiny little woman, just five foot nothing. She raised Wai-Yee from childhood. Wai-Yee was her only living relative. After I finished talking, her Grandmother was very gracious. She insisted that I have a cup of tea and a cookie. She showed me pictures of Wai-Yee as a child, and when she graduated from Starfleet. You should have seen the pride shine in her eyes. When I left, it struck me how small and alone she appeared….." his voice trailed off in a whisper.

Erika put her hand on his shoulder. This time he tilted his head to rest on her hand. She could feel that his cheek was wet again.

"Why do they hate us?" he asked. "What did we ever do to them?"

"They don't hate us," she said.

"All I wanted to do was go exploring. I just wanted to see what was around the next star. Instead, every star I find, I get shot at. If I had wanted to save the Earth, I would have joined the MACOs instead of Starfleet," he said.

She took his arm and pulled him into one of the deck chairs. Taking his hand in hers, she twined her arm around his.

"There are lots of friendly species out there too. What about the Denobulans, and even the Vulcans. You certainly can't accuse the people of Risa of being hostile," she tilted her head and smiled at him.

Her joke caused him to turn and look at her. She saw the tension in his face ease.

"No, I guess you can't," he almost smiled.

She became serious again. "Jon, all of us, all the species, are basically cut from the same cloth. Klingon, Tellerite, Xindi. We are all the same. When we climbed out of that primordial soup, we found a hostile world full of predators waiting to eat us. We have all been trying to overcome that initial survival instinct ever since. They don't hate us. They just want to make sure we don't eat them."

Jon looked into her eyes. She could see he was considering her words.

Erika cradled the side of his face with her hand. "Jon, the Xindi incident is over now. You can go back to what you love, exploring. Didn't you just finish mapping a gas giant last week? Wasn't the planet populated by a species of giant jelly fish-like creatures floating in the layer of liquid methane? That is exactly the kind of stuff Cochrane was talking about."

Finally, a small smile crossed his lips. "Yeah, they were pretty amazing." He paused, remembering. "And we didn't find anything about them in the Vulcan database." There was a hint of pride in his voice. He turned to look out over the ocean. She put her head on his shoulder, and snuggled into his side. They sat like that for almost half and hour.

Finally, Erika pulled him up. "Come on. We both have an early start in the morning." As they headed for the bedroom, he stopped her.

"Hey, thanks," he said.

"What would you ever do without me?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye. "Keep this up and I'm going to have to start charging you by the hour."

She lightly pecked him on the cheek and walked into the bedroom. They both took off their robes and crawled back into bed. She held him until his breathing became slow and rhythmic. Then she fell asleep herself.

---------------------------------

Probably not too many Erika fans out there. But I find her character intriguing because she doesn't take Archer too seriously. She is practically the only one who teases him. Also, she is human which presents different possibilities than the Vulcan/Human interaction. I hope you found it interesting. Again, it started as a T/A story, but the E/A back story took on a life of it's own.