She was ready.
She could understand if he wasn't, because it had been so long, but she really was ready. And it didn't scare her anymore to know that she was this ready. Maybe Chris changed her. Whatever it was, she had never really been this sure of anything in her life. And she wanted him to understand that she was ready to give him everything she had. The only thing holding her back was the chance that he didn't feel the same way. It had been a long time.
"Summer? Sweetie, could you help me with this table?"
Kirsten was at one side of the kitchen table, her hands on either side of its width, her hair twisted up into a pony tail and her "work" clothes on. Summer shook her head, but walked to the other side of the table.
"Kirsten, why are you doing this?"
"Summer, I told you. This house needs a face lift. Just something...new."
Summer turned her head sideways, and tried to get Kirsten to look at her, but gave up and shrugged, slipping her fingers underneath the edge of the table.
"Okay, on three, we're going to bring it over there and turn it. That corner. You ready?"
"Yeah. But you do realize that this house is crawling with big, strong men."
"I do. But I think we're more capable than any big, strong man."
Summer looked up and saw the determination in Kirsten's eyes. She wanted to know she could do this by herself. It was already a big deal that she was letting Summer help her. Calling Ryan would just make things so much worse. So Summer nodded and gripped the edge.
"All right. One, two, three." On three, Kirsten gave a great heave, and she and Summer got the table off the floor.
"Okay, so we're going to move back, back, back, back..." Kirsten was staring at her destination, Summer swinging slightly underneath the weight of the table. "And right here." Summer dropped the table and dropped her hands on her hips. She looked up at Kirsten and back at the place the table used to be. She doubted anyone would be able to tell the difference. Kirsten nodded sharply.
"Yes. Okay, so, I think this is much better." Kirsten nodded again. Summer sighed.
"Okay. Anything else?"
"Well, I just get these ideas, and I thought that it looks very cluttered to see the table from the door, so...if I think of anything else, I'll let you know."
"Okay. Um, Kirsten?"
"Yes, Summer?"
"No one thinks you play second here."
"What?"
"You know, um, we don't think you're...pathetic, or anything."
"Oh. Okay. Why, honey?"
"No reason. I'm going to go find Seth."
"Okay, honey." Kirsten's hands were on her hips, her eyes scanning the kitchen and wandering into the living room.
Summer nodded and walked over to Kirsten, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Kirsten held Summer's arms and nodded.
"Okay."
Summer smiled and patted down Kirsten's shoulder before walking out of the kitchen to the pool.
Seth had gotten accustomed to sitting by the pool. It looked a bit like a Yellowcard album cover, the boy, almost man, sitting by the edge of the sparkling water, the sun turning his forehead pink. Summer sat with him, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, she did.
"So, this weather is just...out of this world."
Summer looked from the blinding sun to Seth's face that had finally broken a smile.
"What do you really want to talk about, despite your lovely attempts at small talk?"
"I don't know...why you had to move out in the first place?"
"Summer, you know I can't stay here forever. And it's not like I can't afford it."
"You know how material that makes you sound?"
Seth shrugged. "It's the truth. Money's important. And thanks to being gawked at for years as being the grandson of The Caleb Nichol, I've got it."
"But your mother is just about ready to kill herself, and you move out? That's a little insensitive, don't you think?"
"Mom needs me out. I'm helping her."
"Just like breaking up with me was helping me."
Seth looked away from Summer's eyes, and instead looked at his hands in his lap.
"Sorry." Summer nudged his arm. "That wasn't..."
"I...was trying to...I thought I really was helping."
"I know. It's okay. But, I mean, you could ask me next time you want to help."
He wanted to say something; Summer saw it in the tilt of his head to the side. But he didn't. Instead, he just took her hand and ran his fingers along the back of it.
Chris walked from the pool house to the main house, but paused when he saw Seth and Summer. He walked over to them, and lay across both of them, his head on Seth's lap, his legs on Summer's. Summer shook his foot and smiled over at his face.
"What's up, Chris?"
Chris shrugged, something he was doing more and more often, and grinned up at her and Seth's eyes.
"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"
Summer laughed at his expression and leaned her elbows down on his knees.
"How's life, dude?" Seth flipped the bangs out of Chris's eyes. Chris just shrugged.
"I don't want to go to school anymore."
"Why, honey, is something wrong?" Summer's forehead started to crease.
"No. I just miss you guys. And it's totally boring."
"But you get to see your friends. That's something, huh, Chris?" Seth tapped his forehead. Chris just shrugged again.
"I guess. I mean, they're kind of immature sometimes, though, you know?" Chris turned onto his side, laying his face against Seth's shirt, nestling his nose between the fabric. Seth's fingers on Chris's face danced onto his back, tracing the stripes of his shirt.
Summer looked up at Seth's face, expecting to see the dark hazel eyes staring back at her, but he was focusing on Chris's hair, a light smile framing his lips. His fingers were still running up and down his back, Chris shivering every now and then, but the same content smile on his face too. Summer's smile became wider and more apparent, as she leaned her cheek against Seth's shoulder. His other hand curled around her back, tapping an unknown rhythm on her flushed shoulder. Her shoulder collapsed down under his warm palm, comfortable with his gentle weight against her side. Seth's face turned and rested on the top of her head, Summer's eyes finding Chris's. Chris nodded and Summer's smile turned softer. His eyes silently thanked her for Seth; hers agreed. Chris's teeth grazed his thumb, his eyes on his mother the whole time. She looked away. The thumb stayed out.
Ryan jogged up behind the three of them, suddenly closing his mouth when he saw the picturesque scene play out in front of him. Seth's head was still on Summer's and so he caught Ryan's silhouette in his peripheral vision.
"Hey, man, what's up?"
"I, uh, need Chris for the...thing." Ryan nodded his chin and Seth nodded back.
"Hey, little man, you ready to make your grandmother cry?"
Chris laughed and nodded, using Seth's hands to pull himself up. He walked next to Ryan back to the house, grinning at his mom one more time.
Summer pulled her legs out of the water and spun around so her head lay on Seth's lap.
"So."
"So."
"I think it's safe to say he likes you now."
Seth laughed and nodded. "Supposedly."
Summer laughed, her face looking up at his. His eyes melted with that content smile back on his lips. He leaned down, supporting himself with his palms, and brushed her lips with his, pulsating against her, moving in closer. Her hand came to the back of his neck, stroking the warm skin she found ?"
"Yeah?"
Her hand went further up his head into his hair and her eyes opened.
"Did you ever think about me? When you were...out there?"
His eyes opened too and shook his head.
"That is officially the easiest question I have ever heard in my entire life. Every day. Well, I mean, most of them."
She smiled faintly and nodded. "I thought about you every second. Well, most of them."
He nodded. "I'd have dreams of you getting married. Sometimes to Ryan. Sometimes to some heir to, like, Wal-Mart or something. Sometimes to some trust fund, half Jewish, extremely handsome kid."
She let her smile spread and pulled his neck back down again.
"Baby, we gotta run." Summer flipped up, grabbed Seth's hand, and pulled him away into the pool house.
Sandy tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and took off his jacket. He picked up another newspaper on the table and thrust it open to the business section as he walked outside to the deck.
"Someday, when I'm oftly low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you. And the way you look tonight."
"Sandy?"
Sandy's eyes peeled away from the candles surrounding the pool and table, framing the sun that was just starting to go down. Kirsten was standing next to him, with basically the same look on her face. Her face was turned to look at his and he just shrugged.
"Do you know who it's for?" Kirsten asked, her eyes flicking back to the stereo beside the door to the house, still playing Frank Sinatra.
Sandy shrugged again and pulled a lawn chair out from the table, gesturing towards it. Kirsten laughed.
"It's not for us. Summer? Maybe." Kirsten looked up at Sandy. He handed her a card.
"Mom and Dad— To getting to know each other. Love, Ryan, Seth, and Summer." Scrawled on the bottom, Chris's name was added in pencil.
Kirsten laughed and placed the card on the table. "They really think they know what's best for us."
Sandy smiled back at her and sat down. "Maybe they do."
Kirsten's laugh softened, and she accepted the wine glass Sandy handed her. He nodded to her across the table.
"To getting to know each other."
Kirsten's eyes sparkled and she nodded. "To getting to know each other."
They touched glasses and glanced over the rims at each other. Kirsten shook her head slowly, her smile still in place.
"Who would've thought we would be one of those couples? The ones their kids are worried about."
Sandy thought for a second, his hand reaching across the table.
"I don't know. I don't think they're really worried. The three of them just can't keep their noses out of everyone's business."
Kirsten nodded. "And we love them for it."
"Definitely."
They each sipped their wine, trying to remember how they were like before the summer that seemed to change everything.
"So, weren't you working on a big case?"
Sandy nodded. "Yacht owners' troubles with each other. But this time they're making it personal. Some divorcees and children, and it's just all so dirty."
Kirsten nodded, wrapping her light sweater closer around her. Just the sun reflecting off of the pool water made her shiver. Maybe it also had to do with the fact that she had to think of something to say to her own husband. Her mind flew back to the little fifteen year old girl who never knew what to say when the boy next door came around with a smile on his face. She felt awkward and unsure and even a little shy. Luckily, the feeling that came along with being fifteen was giddiness, and Kirsten realized that nothing was wrong with being unsure. Her husband, the man she loved, the man she would always love, was sitting across the table from her, stealing looks at her like he was a teenager too. It was fresh. New. She decided she liked it. A lot.
The door to the gate swung open, and Ryan walked in with a sleeping Chris in his arms. He started to walk across the pool, but spotted Kirsten and Sandy.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I don't want to interrupt."
"No, it's fine, honey. You guys are so sweet to do this." Kirsten nodded.
Ryan shrugged and blushed ever so slightly. He kept walking with the boy holding on to his neck and smiled back and Kirsten and Sandy before closing the door to the pool house, laying Chris down on his bed.
Seth and Summer were sitting on the floor, leaning against each other, Seth's chin moving when Summer laughed. Ryan nodded toward the door to their parents, and Summer grinned from ear to ear.
"Aren't they totally cute?"
Ryan laughed too. "Totally."
Seth smiled along with Ryan's mutter and tightened his arm around Summer's back. As if there could be any place in the world that she would rather be.
Ryan's laugh fell, laying his lips together in a closed smile. He was sitting on the floor in front of the two of them, suddenly a little uncomfortable, but still glancing up at them through the wisps of blonde with sparkling eyes.
"Yeah, um, I'd leave you guys to your own...amusement, but I don't want to interrupt the other lovers out there."
Summer shrugged and crossed her legs underneath her. "No, it's cool. We can hang out."
Ryan nodded. "Thanks, you guys. But uh...I'll sneak around the back. You two have...fun." He nodded again and started to push himself up.
Summer's head tilted, and Ryan knew the look well. A mix of wanting to help him and a need to be alone with Seth. He lifted his chin in a head bob, letting her know it was okay. She shrugged.
"You sure, honey?"
"Yeah. It's no problem. See you guys later."
Ryan opened the glass door and slid along the wall of the pool house, out of sight to his parents, laughing by the pool.
Summer watched the door bounce shut and turned to look up at Seth. "So."
"So."
"You know, it's really sweet what you did for your parents."
"They needed it. And Ryan did a lot too."
"I know."
She slid her fingers between his and swung her leg around to the other side of him.
"It was still sweet."
Summer ever so slowly licked her lips and pushed down to him as simultaneously, Seth's free hand came to the back of her head. She dropped her knees from the floor, stretching out along his outstretched legs, his mouth hot against her teeth. She slipped her tongue in his mouth between his pulsating kisses, his chest falling as he exhaled into her mouth. His hand was still weaving between her hairs, the other hand wrapped with hers. She brought their hands closer to his cheek, dipping her head to sip at his Adam's apple. His lips came down to breathe hotly on her ear, her entire body shivering as his breath entered her ear.
His hand finally found itself out of her hair and skimmed down to the small of her back, applying light pressure. His back was starting to slump from tiring of sitting up so straight. Seth dug his heels into the carpet and pulled down, reclining his back against the pillow that had fallen off her bed earlier. Summer followed his decrease and trailed her kisses down his neck, halted by the collar covering the rest of his chest. Her sandals had fallen off, her bare feet rubbing against his ankles. He unwound his fingers from where she had dragged them by his left shoulder and had it reunite with its partner to massage the thin fabric on Summer's back, his thumb running to the top of her shirt, tugging it down an inch. Her arms stretched down to wrap around the back of his head, her head stretched up at the slight incline he still was lying at.
Unable to feel her skin, he needed some way to keep his hands warm, sliding them even farther down to her thigh, not missing any stretch of her along the way. One hand came out of its position behind his head to slip between them and under his shirt. Seth was suddenly jealous that she got the heat resonating off his chest and he didn't, so he mimicked her hand with his own, her back as hot as he had predicted. Her tongue was still prodding his, a slight noise coming out of the back of her throat. He gave in to the feeling in his stomach and pulled her shirt over her head, both hands getting to feel the soft skin leading up to the hard clasp in the center of her back.
His foot was tapping against the other bed, releasing the energy he was storing up. She could feel the tension coming off of him and tugged at his shirt, getting it to come off and fall silently beside them. Whenever they had gotten as far as this before he had seemed nervous, now he just seemed bored. It wasn't like Summer didn't think he got into it, she knew he got into it. It was just that it seemed like she wasn't what he was exactly looking for. Like he needed her to do something different instead of just letting him do whatever he wanted to her.
His mouth pulsated against her tongue, pulling away sharply and pushing back smoothly. As he gave up the game and kissed her harder, Summer felt tears springing to the corners of her closed eyes. Originally, she had just passed off the feeling she got from him as her own paranoia, but he seemed to kiss her and touch her as part of the path he had to take to get her underwear off. She had known he had changed from the summer of 16, but she had never doubted that he didn't love her. But here, lying on the floor next to her bed, she did. Doubt it. What if he was just being with her because he thought it was what people expected? It was what people were expecting. And she had just thought it was what he had wanted.
He was so much more closed off, considering how he used to be, babbling his feelings out and hopping onto coffee carts. She always thought he was hiding something from her. But when their shirts were on, and his arm was around her, and they were watching Chris show his accomplishments, she would snuggle into his chest and everything seemed fine. She thought he cared. But whenever she felt a lust for him, and he was all to fill it for her, he seemed to just be doing that. Taking care of a problem she had. It wasn't like he didn't ever come; it was just that he never seemed to care. Like he didn't really want to be rolling with her on the floor, on the bed, in the backseat. Like he was picturing her as someone else.
"Seth. Seth, stop." She rolled her lips away from his, resting her cheek against his neck.
His eyes scanned the room, resting on the back of her head turned to his face.
"What's wrong?" He asked, swallowing to get his throat wet again.
Summer rolled off of him, pulling her knees up against her bare stomach, wrapping her arms around them.
"Summer. What's wrong? Did I do something?"
She looked up, the tears from her eyes streaking her cheeks. His stomach flipped and his fingertips grazed the sticky surface.
"Summer, what did I do?"
"Do you love me?"
He rolled up himself, resting his weight back on his palms.
"I don't kn..."
She shook her head. "Do you love me?"
"Summer..."
"I need you to answer."
"I think..."
"Seth, I love you. Do you love me?"
"Don't do this. Have our relationship depend on one phrase."
"It's not a hard question. Either you love me or you don't."
"You know I do."
"Do what?"
"I...love you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I...thought you knew that."
"I don't believe it."
"What? Why?"
She shrugged. "I don't think you mean it."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me you love me."
"I did."
"I want you to mean it."
"I did."
She shook her head, pulled her thighs up higher against her, and buried her face into the tops of her knees. Seth noticed how much she looked like a child, rolled up on the floor. He unwrapped her arms and pushed down on her knees. He held her face in his hands and stared into her eyes.
"Summer. I love you. There is no other one. I love you."
She pulled her lips in and moistened them. "How do you know?"
"You said the same thing. How do you know?"
"I asked you first."
"I...look at you and wonder how it can get any better."
"Because you want it to be better."
"No. Because I think it's impossible that someone like me could get this lucky. I see you cry and my heart breaks with each tear. I see you smile and I melt."
"But you don't want to sleep with me."
"What? What do you mean? Of course I..."
"No, you don't. You don't want me. You want to be with me, but you don't want me."
"Summer, you have no idea how gorgeous you are. You don't know how much I feel for you. How much my world revolves around you. How much I love you."
"Do you really? Love me?"
He nodded and laughed. "More than you can believe."
She looked like she was going to cry for another second, but she laughed instead and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. "Thank god, Cohen. I was starting to think you were gay or something."
Seth laughed again and crawled over to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Are we good?"
She nodded. "Yeah. We're good."
"So, then, you would have no problem with me needing to, for lack of a better phrase, sex you up?"
Summer laughed with her whole mouth and nodded, holding his face in her hands again. He slipped a hand beneath her back and swooped her off of the floor and lay her on her bed, slowly letting his legs relax against hers, his sneakers kicked off. She kissed him and for the first time in nine years, noticed how nervous he seemed, how anxious, doubtful he was that he could please her.
Seth Cohen could be 67, have twenty kids, and still have traces of a sixteen year old boy when he was fooling around with the girl of his dreams.
Okay, so I threw a lot at you in this chapter. I think I'll explain a lot of it soon, and I hope it'll be quicker than this chapter was. Peace out, chicks and dudes...