What A Really Freaky Friday
"Hello Gorgeous!" Pyro grinned as he shimmied up to Bobby in Angelica's body.
"It's official, I'm in hell…" Bobby groaned. "Pyro why are you here?"
"Thought I'd get out of the Acolyte's base for a bit," Pyro waved. "Well actually Magneto thought I'd better get out of the Acolyte's base for a bit. He was a bit miffed about the incident with Polaris, a few flame-throwers, her bra drawer…"
"I get the picture…" Bobby winced.
"Plus anything's better than watching TV tonight," Pyro groaned. "Do you know they have the worst movie playing twice on Lifetime tonight? Get this, it's all about Iceman!"
"I'm aware of it…" Bobby said dryly.
Pyro looked at Angelica, who he thought was Bobby. "You know the actor playing you doesn't look anything like you," He said.
"I'd be very much surprised if he did," Angelica smirked.
"So how about you and me have a little fun?" Pyro raised an eyebrow.
"Look as much as I'd love to make out with a homicidal maniac…" Bobby backed away. He tripped and accidentally let out a fireball, which hit a seat and set it on fire.
"Oh yeah! Burn down the place! My kind of woman!" Pyro shouted with glee.
"Oh no!" Angelica focused and put out the fire with Bobby's ice powers. "Hey, the ice powers work the same way my fire…Uh I mean…"
"Fire powers?" Pyro looked at him. "What are you talking about Drake? You don't have fire powers? Do you?"
"Look Pyro the truth is…" Bobby began.
"Yeah sweetie?" Pyro grinned.
"The truth is she's not interested in you!" Angelica told him.
"Yeah, yeah what he said…" Bobby gulped.
Angelica could see that Pyro wasn't going to leave. Then she got an idea in her head. "But I am."
"But he…WHAT?" Bobby did a double take.
"Well I gotta admit the whole fire and ice thing is kind of cute," Angelica vamped it up. She leaned towards a startled Pyro. "So how about you and me making some kind of cold fire?"
"Oh no!" Pyro backed up. "I'm flattered…Maybe even a little curious but I don't swing that way! See ya around Firestar!" He fled the room.
"Yup I thought that would do it," Angelica nodded.
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Bobby yelled at Angelica.
"You wanted to get rid of him," She shrugged.
"NOT LIKE THAT!" Bobby shouted. "Great! Now he thinks I'm totally gay!"
"That's the thanks I get fighting for your honor," She folded her…Well Bobby's arms.
"My honor, my butt!" Bobby snapped. "Fine! Two can play this game! Oh Pyro!"
"You wouldn't dare!" Angelica snarled.
"Try and stop me!" Bobby snapped back as he ran after Pyro.
"You bet I will!" Angelica chased after him.
Meanwhile the search for Switch in the movie theater was not going well. "I swear you two perverts are impossible…" Scott in Rogue's body dragged out Todd and Althea from the ladies' room. They were in each other's respective bodies.
"Technically it's not fooling around," Althea tried to get out of the grip Scott had her in.
"You want me to use this body to knock you both out?" Scott snapped. "I'll do it!"
"You really want our thoughts in your head?" Todd asked.
"You have a point," Scott groaned. "Jean! Jean come on!"
"In a minute Scott," Jean called out. She was in Fred's body and currently she was at the snack bar. "I just have this craving for popcorn, Junior Mints and M&Ms!"
"Yo!" Arcade was enjoying being in Shane's body. "Whazzup bro?" He waved to a few African American youths walking by. "Man some of you honeys is fine!"
"Will you stop that?" Shane snapped. He was not happy being in Arcade's body. "YOU ARE NOT BLACK!" The African American youths stared at him. "This guy is not Black! Pay no attention to the white boy here!"
"Yo bro don't be hatin'," Arcade drawled. "It's a'ight. Just cause you're a honky…"
"I am not a honky! Nobody even says honky anymore! Will you stop talking like that?" Shane got in his face. "You are not black! You are a geek! A white geek! Go back to talking geek! And…God how do you see?" He took off the glasses. "Damn this is even worse! I feel like Mr. Magoo!"
One of the guys turned to his girlfriend. "Great, just what we need. A couple of nuts on drugs."
"I dunno. They sound more entertaining than the movie we just watched," His girlfriend remarked as the youths hurried away.
"Not going well is it?" Rogue asked. She was in Scott's body.
"Not really no," Scott groaned as he realized Todd and Althea slipped away in the confusion.
BOOM! FIZZLE!
"Watch where you're aiming those things!" Someone shouted.
"Well I'm not used to these powers! Sue me!"
BOOM!
"I think somebody will after tonight."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAA!"
"SWITCH YOU ARE SO DEAD!"
"GET HER!"
BOOM!
"Sorry! My bad!"
WHUMP! Evan in Pietro's body ran straight into a wall.
"Ow…" He groaned. "You know, controlling these legs is harder than it looks."
"I think I'm getting the hang of these spikes…" Pietro said. He was in Evan's body. A spike flew past Scott, barely missing him and hitting the wall. "Whoops!"
"WATCH IT!" Scott snapped.
"I just had a thought," Rogue said. "Who's in Celandine's body?"
"Yeah she could kill someone without even trying," Lance realized.
"Catseye," Dead Girl told her. She was in Warpath's body. "But it's okay. Before she could do any damage a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and knocked her out."
"Remy said he was sorry!" Remy snapped. The building shook for a moment. "Man this is harder than it looks. No wonder Avalanche always makes such a mess!"
"Well at least we know with you in his body Rogue won't make out with you," Scott remarked.
"Oh yeah?" Rogue grinned. Before anyone could stop her she grabbed Remy in Lance's body and kissed him long and hard.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Both Lance and Scott screamed in agony.
"Come on Remy, let's go make out somewhere!" Rogue grabbed Remy and they ran off.
"NOT IF I STOP YOU FIRST!" Scott shouted as he flew after them. However he didn't quite have the hang of flying just yet. "WHOA!" He flew straight ahead into a wall.
"Oh he is definitely going to have to pay for that," Lance blinked.
Meanwhile Warpath stuck in Dead Girl's body had separated from the group and was wandering in an empty theater. "Man it's so weird being dead." He grumbled.
"Tell me about it."
"What the hell…?" Warpath gasped. "John?"
"Hey Little Brother," John Proudstar's ghostly form stood before him. "Looks like you've got yourself into a bigger mess than usual."
"You…You're…?"
"Dead? Yeah thanks for noticing. Nice funeral by the way."
"But how?"
"Uh, you're in Dead Girl's body? Remember her powers? She can talk to the dead. You really should listen to those mission briefings! Listen to me," John told him. "This isn't what I wanted for you. You have to get away from the Hellions."
"Why? I did it for you! I swore vengeance after the X-Men killed you!"
"The X-Men didn't kill me! Well technically I guess Colossus did but the real blame goes to that nut job Proteus," John explained. "He possessed me and was eating my insides out. He would have killed my friends and thousands more people if the X-Men hadn't done what they did!"
"No! No they hurt you!" John denied it. "They're the ones responsible!"
"You're the one who's been hurting me," John said sadly. "I can't rest until I know you're going to be okay. And won't be as long as you're with the Hellions!"
"GET HER!"
"THIS WAY! SHE RAN IN HERE!" Several other mutants ran in looking for Switch.
BOOM!
"Sorry! My bad!"
POW!
"Why didn't I stay home?"
BOOM!
FIZZLE!
"OW MY TAIL! Well, it's not really my tail but still…"
"WHO SET THOSE SEATS ON FIRE?"
"Fire? Where?" Pyro burst in. "Cool! Let's burn the place down!"
"On the other hand," John remarked. "Looks like the X-Men and Misfits ain't exactly the safest group of people to be around either."
"Oh guys!" Switch laughed as she appeared, using her powers again. "Think fast!"
"Here we go again!" Scott shouted as the pink ball engulfed all of them.
Meanwhile Bobby and Angelica were still chasing each other around the other movie theaters. Bobby was determined to get Angelica back. He finally saw Pyro walking in a daze towards the lobby. "Hey lover boy!" Bobby grabbed Pyro and kissed him. "HA!"
"Is this some kind of weird payback against Angelica?" Pyro asked.
"Yeah…Wait, how did you know, Pyro?" Bobby asked.
'Pyro' looked at Bobby. "One problem…I'm not Pyro!"
"This really has been quite a peculiar little trip," Kitty walked up to them speaking with an Australian accent. "Even more so than usual."
"What the…?" Bobby looked at the two of them. "Pyro if you're in Kitty's body, then who's…?"
"It's Jean, Bobby," She sighed. "We all had another run in with Switch back at one of the other theaters."
"Sorry," Bobby apologized. "I thought you were Pyro."
"Oh so that's how it is," Pyro glared at Bobby. "First you come on to me in front of Angelica and when that fails you take over her body in order to get to me! You sicko!"
"Now wait a minute…" Bobby protested.
"You sir are quite disturbed!" Pyro huffed. "I don't swing that way and even if I did I still wouldn't go for you! I'm too much of a man for a creep like you!" Pyro caught 'his' reflection in a reflective surface. "Oh damn, my lipstick's faded!"
"Okay this totally sucks!" Kitty stormed in. She was in Arcade's body. "Pyro, you'd better not do anything to my body or else!"
"Oh yeah…?" Pyro had a wicked gleam in his eyes. "How about I do this?" He started to unbutton the blouse Kitty was wearing.
"What are you doing?" Kitty warned. "Hey! Stop it! Stop it!"
"Hello sailor!" Pyro threw off the blouse, exposing the bra. He reached for the zipper on the pants. "These pants are a little tight too…"
"You wouldn't!" Kitty shrieked.
"Oh wouldn't I?" Pyro grinned. "I wonder…"
"Oh god no…" Jean winced.
"Don't! Don't you dare!" Kitty screamed. "I'm warning you Pyro!" She lunged at him.
Pyro used her powers to phase away from her grip and in a moment he phased out of her remaining garments as well. "Whoo! What a power!" Pyro looked at the state he was in. "You don't have much of a rack do you Pryde?"
"PUT MY CLOTHES BACK ON YOU PERVERT!" Kitty screamed.
"I'm free! I'm free!" Pyro happily ran through a wall into the next room. Which happened to be a crowded theater room.
"It's official," Bobby groaned. "Somebody up there hates not only me but Kitty."
"I wonder why?" Jean asked. "I mean its not like you and Kitty kissed each other or anything."
"Thanks a lot!" Bobby glared at her.
Meanwhile other mutants were still trying to adjust to their other new bodies.
"This is so wrong…" Scott sighed. He was now in Lina's body.
"Tell me about it," Lance sighed. He was in Xi's body. "Man do I feel weird."
"How does it…Feel?" Scott asked. "You know? Not having well, anything."
"Like I'm missing a lot of things compared to what I had before," Lance groaned. "Xi doesn't even have nipples."
"Among other things," Scott winced. "I wonder how he goes to the bathroom?"
"I really don't want to find out," Lance said. Just then Remy ran up to them, still in Lance's body. "Speaking of things I don't want to find out about…"
"Okay…" Remy panted. "Who are you people? I mean who is inhabiting these bodies?"
"Take wild guess you body stealing jerk!" Lance snapped.
"What, you needed to take a break making our worst nightmares come true?" Scott snapped.
"Oh Scott and Lance," Remy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness it's you. Remy had to get out of there! You have no idea how close Remy came to…You don't wanna know…"
"You didn't…" Scott growled.
"No! Remy couldn't! Remy had to get away," Remy shuddered. "Just couldn't do it. It felt so…dirty. And not in a good way."
"I guess even you have your standards," Lance remarked.
"Tell me about it," Remy shuddered some more. "Remy gonna have nightmares for months about Cyclops kissing him and trying to…"
"STOP! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" Scott snapped at him.
"ME NEITHER!" Lance shouted. "This night cannot get any worse!"
"LALALALALAA!" A very naked Kitty skipped by them laughing. She phased into another room without stopping.
"Was that Kitty…?" Lance blinked.
"Uh huh…" Remy was in shock.
"And was she…?" Lance's eyes widened.
"Streaking? Yes!" Scott's mouth was wide open.
"PYRO GET BACK HERE AND PUT MY CLOTHES ON YOU JERK!" Kitty raced after her body, carrying her clothes. "OH MY GOD I AM LIKE NEVER GOING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN!"
"Pyro?" Scott yelled. "Pyro is here?"
"And he's streaking in Kitty's body," Lance noticed. "OH MY GOD! KITTY! WAIT! PYRO YOU NUTCASE!" He took off after them.
"This is so not good," Scott groaned. Then he heard the sound of sirens. "And neither is that. I can't wait to explain this to the cops!"
"No, but you do have to explain this to us!"
Suddenly time seemed to freeze. Everyone who wasn't a mutant (Or Arcade) instantly froze in time. "Now what?" Lance asked looking around.
"SWITCH!" Emma Frost roared as she and Xavier entered the lobby.
"Uh oh," Switch gulped as she peered behind the popcorn stand.
"Yes uh oh," Emma folded her arms.
"What are you doing here?" Lance asked.
"We picked up quite a lot of activity on Cerebro," Xavier explained. "And now I see why."
"We really must stop meeting like this," Emma said. "Pyro for god's sake put Kitty's clothes back on! I really don't feel like going blind right now!"
"I suggest we leave before the mental suggestion we are giving to the patrons of this establishment wear off," Xavier raised an eyebrow. "But first let's put out some of the fires shall we?"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"So much for a nice quiet evening away from insanity…" Scott sighed. The X-Men and Misfits had returned to the Institute and were finally in their own bodies.
"Remy need therapy…" Remy was twitching.
"Oh get over it!" Rogue snapped. "If we were both in girls bodies I'd bet you'd have done it!"
"Thank you Rogue for giving me another mental image that will keep me awake at night for weeks," Wanda rubbed her forehead.
"When you kids go out on the town you really know how to tear it up don't you?" Logan grunted as he walked up to them.
"Did you dump Pyro's body off by the side of the highway in the gutter where it belongs?" Kitty growled.
"You mean did I let the little twerp go?" Logan asked. "Yes I think it was the least I could do after what you did to him Half Pint."
"I was totally justified Logan," Kitty glared at him. "I should have killed him! No jury would have convicted me!"
"What did you do to him?" Scott asked. "I blacked out after you inflicted the mind numbing pain on him."
"Before or after I stripped him and beat him up?" Kitty asked.
"After," Scott said. "Even unconscious I could still hear the screams."
"Let's just say you'd need to be older than 21 to know about it," Logan sighed. He patted Bobby's shoulder. "Some night huh Popsicle?"
"Oh yeah," Bobby groaned. "First my parents trash me in a Lifetime movie, then we trash a movie theater with the Hellions. I got stuck in a girl's body…Firestar's body, which was too hot a time for me. And on top if it all Pyro thinks I have the hots for him!"
"What?" Logan looked at him. "Why does…?"
"Don't ask…" Bobby gritted his teeth. "Just don't ask…"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!" Emma ran by laughing.
"COME BACK HERE!" Scott was chasing her.
"Now what?" Logan asked.
"Come on you," Shipwreck dragged Switch by the ear. Polly was on his shoulder. "You're gonna fix this!"
"OW! Can't you take a joke?" Switch whined.
"Some joke! Get my parrot out of Frost's body!" Shipwreck snapped.
"Okay Switch I am officially going to kill you," Emma glared at her. She was in Polly's body.
"That's it," Bobby groaned. "I think I'm going into my room and not coming out until I graduate from this loony bin!"