Thank you for the kind reviews. I agree that Erika Hernandez is a controversial character. I agree that because they did not continue either her character development or Archer's struggle with his actions in the Expanse, the Home episode ended up being trite. I hoped that these chapters would expand their relationship beyond sex and into friendship. I think that Archer deserves a friend that is not under his command and that he can really open up to. And, I don't think that he should be doomed to a life of celibacy either. :) In writing these stories, I can see why the Star Trek "tradition" dooms the Captains to a lonely life. It's easier to write about tragedy than happiness. :)
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Erika Hernandez sat in the Command Center of Enterprise. The room was covered in display screens from ceiling to floor. But, there were only two small consoles lit in front of her. On one of the consoles was the update on Columbia's repairs. On the other were communiqués from Admiral O'Brian. Erika took a sip from her coffee cup and grimaced. Cold. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She wasn't doing much good anyway.
Her mind drifted back earlier in the evening. She had dined with Trip, Laurie Thompson, Columbia's Chief Engineer, and Commander T'Pol. Trip and Laurie had carried most of the conversation. Erika smiled. The two of them were definitely cut from the same cloth. Eagerly trading stories about modifications to the warp engines that each of them had tried. Erika had asked questions and made polite noises. But T'Pol had been virtually silent throughout the whole meal. Erika shook her head. She had not had much experience with Vulcans and still was not used to their idiosyncrasies. She found their lack of desire to talk during meals, awkward. Almost every species she had encountered to date considered the sharing of food to be a social event. A time to improve relationships. Except the Vulcans.
"Well, each to their own," she shrugged. After dinner Trip and Laurie wanted to spend some more time at their favorite obsession, the warp engines, so she had excused herself to catch up on some work. Commander T'Pol had offered her the use of the Command Center. T'Pol was probably relieved to not have to "talk" to me anymore, Erika thought. She gave up trying to work anymore and switched off the consoles. Exiting the room, she headed for Sickbay.
The lights in Sickbay were dimmed for the nightshift. As she entered a couple of lights in her vicinity sprang to life. She scanned the room and saw Phlox approaching from the left.
"Captain Hernandez. How are you this evening?" Phlox greeted her with his usual infectious smile.
"I'm just fine. And yourself?" Erika returned the greeting with a forced smile. Then she could not help shifting her gaze to the biobed behind him.
"I take it you are here to inquire about Captain Archer," said Phlox quietly. Erika's face became serious as she nodded slightly.
"Well, he is still in serious condition. He has not regained consciousness, but I believe that there has been an improvement in his bio signs today," said Phlox gravely.
"I see. Do you mind if I… sit for a while?" said Erika.
"Not at all. Stay as long as you like. I will be in my office if you need anything," said Phlox. He tilted his head to one side and looked at her. "But I would advise that you to get some rest. It will not do any good to wear yourself out," he said gently.
Erika smiled. "I promise not to stay too long," she assured him.
He nodded, gave her a giant grin, and left for his office.
Erika crossed the room and walked through the curtains surrounding Captain Archer's bed. She sat down in the chair that was there as if Phlox had been expecting her. Well, she did sit for several hours last night.
Her eyes ran over Jon's still form. The medical consoles blink in the background. An oxygen tube ran to his nose, and an IV hung by his head. The blanket came only part way up his bare chest. She could see a bandage poking out from under the blanket. She knew it covered a serious phaser blast that had grazed his right side. Luckily, he was just in the process of jumping out of the way, so he had been spared it's full force. If it had not happened that way, she would be standing in the morgue instead of Sickbay.
Erika reached over and took his hand in hers. It felt limp and cold. A dead weight in her hand. She squeezed, irrationally hoping to feel him squeeze back. But of course, he did not. She sighed.
She cupped his hand in both of hers and shook her head. "Jon, why do you do this to yourself?" she thought. But she already knew the answer. The Expanse. After the Expanse, he was driven. No longer was his only goal to fulfill his father's dream of exploration. But now, he was driven by a desire to bring peace to this quadrant of the space community that Humanity yearned to join. He was determined to prevent another Xindi tragedy. Jonathan Archer had always been a man of peace. She knew the price he paid to accomplish his mission in the Expanse. Now, he was constantly working to redeem himself. "Will you ever forgive yourself?" she wondered.
She thought about their unusual relationship. She saw him for only a few hours every six to eight months. Every time she saw him it was as if they had never been apart. They easily fell back into their old pattern of conversation, and often talked for hours. And yes, they would spend the night at one of their apartments. Erika was old enough that she could separate sex from love. Sex was a reality of being human. Their friendship was a necessity. Sure, both of them had close friends on their respective ships. But, they were both still the Captain. They could not completely let down their guards down to any of their crew. At least with each other they could be more relaxed, they could blow off some steam. Did she love him? Possibly. But, obviously not enough to give up Columbia. The stars were their shared destiny. But did that destiny necessitate loneliness? She shook her head.
She carefully replaced his hand on the bed. Stroking his cheek with the back of her hand, she contemplated his face. His complexion was ashen and his cheeks were sunken. Her heart ached to see him in this condition. He had always seemed invincible to her. And now, he was lying here, broken, fighting for his life. From the moment he stepped on to the bridge of Enterprise, danger seemed to dog his every step. But, always, he had been saved by his uncanny ability to get out of trouble. "I hope that famous Archer luck has not run out," she thought. Her eyes searched his face, half expecting him to open his eyes and tell her "I'm fine". She sighed and pulled out her PADD, attempting again to get some work done.
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The lights in T'Pol's quarters were dimmed. Three candles flicker on her meditation table. The shadows on the walls gently jumped and wavered with the candlelight. T'Pol sat in front of her meditation table. Her eyes were closed and her body was absolutely still. Outwardly she appeared to be in a perfect meditative state. But inwardly she was in turmoil. She was frustrated that even after more than an hour, she still could not calm her emotions. Images of yesterday's events kept pushing themselves into her mind.
Enterprise had delivered the Human Ambassador, Marco Mazzola, to the trade conference on Andoria two days earlier. There was a luncheon in a large hall for all of the delegates. Many off-worlders were also present, including the Enterprise senior staff. She, Captain Archer, and Ambassador Mazzola were standing with several other delegates when there was an explosion. At first everyone ducked to the ground. But as the smoke began to clear, the crowd rushed for the exits. Captain Archer took Ambassador Mazzola's arm and guided him through the crowd with T'Pol following close behind. Archer was calling on his communicator to Trip and the other officers to assemble at the shuttles.
Suddenly, disrupter fire cut through the air. Confusion rained after that. The shots seemed to be coming from above. Security officers from the various alien races began to fire back. Energy bursts were flying in every direction. There was shouting and screaming as people were hit. The crowd panicked. People were running in all directions.
T'Pol hear a cry of pain as an Andorian beside her was hit. Captain Archer pushed the Ambassador to the ground and shielded him with his body. T'Pol saw him signal to her.
"Get the Ambassador out of here."
T'Pol helped the Ambassador up and started towards the exit. She saw Archer head back to pull the Andorian to cover. Out of the corner of her eye, T'Pol saw the glint of a phaser. She called out a warning, but it was too late. Captain Archer was just twisting out of the way when the shot was fired. It grazed the side of his chest. Archer crumpled to the ground.
From that point on T'Pol felt disembodied. The noise and confusion faded into a dull roar in the background. She found herself cradling Captain Archer in her lap. An angry red gash was oozing an impossible amount of blood onto the floor. The smell of burned flesh assaulted her nostrils. He was clutching her arms. His face was twisted with pain, but he was looking right into her eyes. His expression was a strange mixture of concern and calm.
"Get out of here." She could not hear the words, but she could see them on his lips.
She knew she should have been doing something, but she was frozen. Her stomach twisted with panic. "He is going to die!" her mind screamed at her.
Hands grabbed her shoulders. Other hands were pulling Captain Archer away from her. She angrily tried to shake herself free and to pull Archer closer to her.
"Come with us, quickly Ma'am."
She looked up to see two Starfleet security officers. The sight of them spurred her into action. She picked up Archer in her arms, and the three of them ran towards an exit. She was disoriented and had to blindly follow the officers through the maze of corridors. Finally, they reached the shuttle.
Inside Trip and the Ambassador were waiting. Trip was in the pilot seat, starting the shuttle. He looked back as they entered.
"What happened?" he asked shocked at the sight of Captain Archer being carried by T'Pol.
"Captain Archer was hit," one of the security officers answered when T'Pol did not respond. "I suggest we push off, Sir"
Trip turned back to the consoles and worked with renewed speed.
T'Pol gently lay the Captain down on a bench. One of the security officers pulled out a medical kit and began to seal the wound. But T'Pol's eyes were riveted on the Captain's face. The pain in his face eased slightly as she heard the hiss of a hypo spray. But the bump of the releasing docking clamps caused a moan to escape from his lips. Unconsciously, she took his outstretched hand and squeezed.
"The Ambassador…", his voice was thick and hoarse, barely above a whisper.
"The Ambassador is safe. He is on the shuttle with us," she said tried to reassure him. "Don't attempt to speak."
His mouth worked to say more, but no sound came out.
"We are almost back at Enterprise. Captain, please try to save your strength." T'Pol could feel her self control eroding as she watched another wave of pain grip him. She could feel his pain radiating up her arm from her hand. Normally, she avoided physical contact for this reason. But now she gripped his hand tightly, searching his presence, trying to reassure herself that it was still strong and vital.
"That's it, let's get moving!" Trip shouted. The shuttle door was opening and everyone was standing up. Several sets of hands were lifting the Captain. They carried him out of the shuttle and placed him on a gravi-gurney. T'Pol followed close behind, but someone pulled her to a stop.
"Are you injured, Ma'am?"
T'Pol looked uncomprehending into the face of Crewman Becker. Then she looked down at her hands and uniform to find them covered in blood.
"I'm fine," she answered as she watched the gurney race away with Captain Archer. But her voice did not sound convincing.
T'Pol opened her eyes and looked down at her hands. In the candlelight, she was surprised to see that her hands were clean. The smell of his blood was still vivid in her mind. She closed her eyes again and worked to slow her breathing.
She had waited in Captain Archer's ready room. There were details to attend to. Reports to make to Starfleet, commands to be issued. Despite being busy, the time seemed to crawl by. She kept glancing at the chronometer, wondering why Phlox had not contacted her with news of Captain Archer's condition.
She suspected that the phaser had been set on kill. The wound would be very difficult to repair. There was a high probability that…
Dr. Phlox finally came to see her. The Captain's condition was grave. But, the doctor was his usual optimistic self, talking about the Captain's exceptional stamina and good chance of a full recovery. However, T'Pol could tell that he was worried.
She tried again to push memories of yesterday out of her mind. "Why can I not calm my thoughts?" This was not the first time one of her crewmates had been injured. But she knew the answer. Captain Archer was more than a crewmate to her. In fact, he was more than a friend. She tried another tactic to calm her mind. She tried to concentrate on more pleasant memories.
Three nights ago they were sitting in Captain Archer's ready room. There was music playing in the background. What was it? Beethoven, perhaps? It was a string quartet. Over the years, they found that they shared a mutual interest in music. They enjoyed introducing each other to their favorite pieces.
But tonight, Archer was not enjoying the music. In fact, he was quite annoyed. They were playing the Vulcan equivalent of chess, and he was in the process of loosing to her. For the fifty third time in a row. He picked up his cup of coffee and walked over to the window. She regarded his back for a moment.
"There is no need to be frustrated. I have been playing this game since I was a child. You are doing very well considering you have been playing for only 1.8 years."
"I'm not frustrated," he said, clearly lying. "I just need to stretch my legs."
If she would admit the truth, she found his childish reaction somewhat amusing. T'Pol could feel the muscles in her shoulders relaxing.
Captain Archer was a strange mixture of emotion and logic. Many times she was sure he had made a bad decision based on emotion. But then he would turn the situation around with a surprisingly logical move. Like, his almost irrational desire to help others. If he perceived an injustice, he could not resist interfering. This tendancy had gotten them in trouble numerous times. Someday, she thought, he will realize that he cannot always judge alien cultures by Human values. Yet, his compassion was one of the qualities that she valued most about him. One of the qualities that motivated her to resign her commission with the High Command and go with him into the Expanse.
The Expanse. The pressure of the mission had been enormous. Failure was unthinkable. It drove him to desperate measures. Each time he was forced to give up his morality, his innocence, it hurt him greatly. But, he would not share his pain with his friends. Instead, he pushed them away, unwilling to burden them. She could see this. But she is a Vulcan. She did not know how to deal with his emotions.
Besides, she had problems of her own. She was fighting the trellium addiction. The emotions were new, fascinating and troubling. And then there was Trip. How did she let that happen? Why did she allow him to be hurt like that? After the death of Elizabeth, the differences in their personalities seemed to be amplified. He was outgoing and sociable. He wanted to deal with his grief by being with people, talking about it. She wanted quite the opposite. She wanted to work through her emotions through meditation. She had to deal with the emotions slowly, little by little.
And so, their relationship slowly and quietly evolved into a close friendship. And actually, it worked out very well. This evolution allowed them to bring Archer back into the circle. The three of them became very close friends. They usually shared their meals together, and often sought each other out on their off shifts.
But, her found her relationship with Archer the most satisfying. Life aboard a starship necessitated daily and frequent contact just to get the work done. But, over the years, their conversations had expanded as they found areas of common interest beyond the ship and the mission. They often spent hours discussing everything from the duty roster to the Vulcan view of the after life. She found his emotionalism, his compassion, and his sense of wonder helped her to see even the most mundane things in a new light.
Yes, she had come to value his presence. In fact, several times in the last few years (she was not sure when it all started), she had considered a deeper relationship with Archer. Every time, she had told herself that it was not feasible on Enterprise. He was the Captain and she was the First Officer. If she left her position then she would be separated from him for months at a time. In the current situation she could see him daily, several times a day. This was more than most married couples had. She should be content with the way things were.
T'Polcould feel the knot in her stomach reforming.She took a long deep breath, and exhaled slowly. She shifted her thoughts to 14 months ago. Enterprise was in space dock and the crew was on shore leave. Captain Archer was spending a rare couple of days on Earth. Even in space dock, he spent most of his time on Enterprise, supervising whatever repairs or modifications that were being done. He knew every inch of that ship.
She was standing on the balcony of Trip's parent's house. Trip was hosting a party for the Enterprise crew and many of his old friends. It was late in the evening, the music was loud and everyone was inebriated. T'Pol was finding the noise and the crush of people a little overwhelming. So she was seeking refuge on the balcony. She was wondering why she had bothered to come, when Captain Archer stepped out to join her. He was carrying a beer bottle in his hand, but she could tell that he was not drunk.
"It's a beautiful evening," he commented. She simply nodded in response.
"Is this your first Human party?" She nodded again. "So what do you think?"
"It is… very loud."
He chuckled. "Yes it is."
"Are you not enjoying yourself?" she inquired.
He turned to face the room and leaned on the railing. "This is good for the crew. They need to blow off some steam." He glanced down at the bottle in his hand. "But, I guess I prefer something a little more…. quiet, as well." He looked at her and smiled. Then he turned back to the night and looked up at the stars in the sky.
"Hey, I have idea. Let's get out of here," he said.
"Where do you wish to go?"
"Have you ever seen the northern lights?"
"They are a natural phenomenon caused by…"
"But have you every seen them?"
"No."
"Well, come on. I'll show them to you."
She hesitated for a moment. "Do you think Commander Tucker will be offended if we leave?"
Captain Archer looked back into the room. Trip had one hand on the shoulder of a friend, and a beer in the other hand. He was laughing and joking with a group of people. "I don't think that he will miss us."
He ushered her into an air taxi, and directed the driver to take them to the Florida Starfleet base. During the ride, he contacted some personnel at the base. It was apparent they were people that he knew quite well. In less than an hour they were seated in a high speed personal air transporter heading for the Alaskan skies.
Archer took them high into the stratosphere. The northern lights were spectacular. From this vantage point, green and red and white lights danced all around them, completely enveloping them. Archer cut the engines and they glided silently through the light display. Outwardly, T'Pol did not react. But inwardly, she was enthralled. The colors moved in great bands that jumped and wavered like smoke in the wind.
Archer must have sensed her mood. "Amazing isn't it?" he chuckled. "It's caused by the solar wind ionizing the atmosphere. I hope you don't mind the science lecture."
"I find that the scientific explanation serves to enhance the experience of the nature phenomenon," she answered.
Archer seemed pleased by her positive response. They glided for several minutes amongst the stars and the lights. There was no sound except the whisper of the wind on the ship's hull. Then, when they had drifted too low in the atmosphere, Captain Archer restarted the engines.
He increased their speed and head closer to the artic ocean. They skimmed over the ice floes and zigzagged through the icy canyons. T'Pol was not expecting the maneuver and gripped her armrests in surprise. It was a daring speed to use in the darkness, so close to the ice.
Archer look sideways at her with a small smile. "What's the matter? You don't I can fly this thing?"
T'Pol regained her composure. She suspected he was trying to impress her. Another childish human impulse.
"I understand you are a… competent pilot," she commented.
"Competent?" Archer said. He increased the speed and did a series of twists and turns through the icy mountains. T'Pol was impressed, but she did not change her expression.
When he leveled out, she said, "I have not piloted an aircraft for several years. Would you mind if I flew for a few minutes?"
"Be my guest." He turned over the controls to her.
Immediately, the shipped headed straight up at top speed. Then it drove straight down towards the ice. At the point at which he thought they should be pulling up, T'Pol could see Archer gripping the console. Suddenly the ship pull up, and did several corkscrew twists while navigating at top speed among the towering ice spires.
After a few minutes, T'Pol took the ship to mid atmosphere and slowed to a normal cruising speed.
"It is unfortunate that I do not have more opportunities to practice. I don't feel that I am up to my former level," she commented evenly. "Are you ready to return?" She returned control to his console.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the tension drain out of Archer's face. As his expression changed from shock to a broad grin, she could tell he understood her "joke". Turning southward, he chuckled softly and regarded her with quiet admiration. They did not speak for the rest of the flight. They simply enjoyed each other's company.
As T'Pol meditated on this memory, she could feel the tension leave her stomach unwind. She thought about the quiet flight back. The sound of the wind on the cockpit. The brilliance of the stars. She remembered looking into Captain Archer's piercing green eyes and seeing the pleasure he gained from the simple experience of flying. She focused on the memory of his smiling eyes.
But suddenly, the image shifted from 14 months ago to yesterday. Again, she saw the pain and shock in his eyes. She could not stop the memory of his hand from invading her mind. The feel of his calloused skin. The feel of his strong, generous nature radiating up her arm. But, she also remembered the sensation of his strength oozing out with his blood onto the floor.
T'Pol suddenly got up and exited her cabin. She made her way swiftly towards Sickbay. She had a strong urge to feel his hand in hers again. She needed to reassure herself that he was not dying. Irrationally, she thought she would be able to tell from the holding his hand again.
"What if he were to die tonight? What if she were never to see his clear green eyes laughing at her again?" These thoughts raced through her mind as she stood impatiently in the turbo lift.
A soft rustle of sheets caused Erika to look up from her PADD. Her heart leapt when she saw Jonathan shift his weight, and his eyes flutter. She held her breath as he half opened his eyes, and look around in confusion.
"Jon," she breathed. He focused on her and frowned, questions forming on his lips. "Jon, it's OK, you're on Enterprise." He grimaced in pain and frowned.
"You were hit at the Andorian Embassy. Do you remember?" she said quietly. After a moment, he nodded slightly.
"You should rest. You look like hell." Erika smiled at him, but her eyes were brimming with relief.
"Erika," his voice was a hoarse whisper.
She had to lean in close to hear it. His hand came up off the bed and she took it. The feel of his hand squeezing hers caused a surge of emotion to wash through her. His hand continued up to wipe the single tear rolling down her cheek. She moved his hand to her lips and tenderly kissed his knuckles.
T'Pol walked into Sickbay and headed towards the biobed that Jonathan Archer was lying on. The lights in the room were dimmed, and the curtains were drawn around his bed. As she approached, she could see someone through the small part in the curtains. It was Captain Hernandez.
T'Pol stopped a few feet from the curtain. She watched as Captain Archer reached up his hand and Captain Hernandez took it. She watched as Archer caressed her cheek, and then as Hernandez kissed his hand.
T'Pol was stunned. She knew that they were friends, but she did not realize that they were so close. T'Pol turned around and silently left Sickbay.
Erika did not hear anyone come or go from Sickbay.
"The Ambassador..." Archer whispered.
"He is fine. He came back to Enterprise on the same shuttle."
"T'Pol…?"
"She is also fine."
Archer closed his eyes and nodded. He seemed relieved. Erika continued to hold his hand as he fell asleep.
There was a quiet buzz of the intercom.
"Thompson to Captain Hernandez."
"Hernandez here."
"Are you ready to return to Columbia, Ma'am?"
"I'll meet you in the launch bay. Hernandez out."
Erika gently replaced Jon's hand on the bed. Columbia was scheduled to leave for another mission tomorrow. Before the Sickbay doors were closed, lists of things to do were already swirling in Erika's head.
Back in her cabin, T'Pol was meditating again. This time she was more successful. Even though the emotions she had to deal with were more complex, she felt more centered. Centered in the knowledge that Captain Archer was going to live.
A few minutes ago, Dr. Phlox had contacted her. She was relieved and elated to hear that Captain Archer was going to make a full recovery.
She methodically examined her feelings. First she let her elation float up to the ceiling with the candle smoke. Then she watched it dissipate.
Next she pulled out her feelings of relief. She imagined they were like one of her candles. The feelings slowly vaporized as the candle burned down.
Finally, she came to the part she was dreading, she faced her feelings for Jonathan Archer. She realized she had strong emotions for him. She even wondered if she "loved" him. But she is a Vulcan. She did not know what love was suppose to feel like. Besides, what was the point of confronting these emotions? They are on a starship. There was always the issue of the chain of command. There was no logical way to further the relationship.
This was a familiar conversation. But, tonight it was different. Another reason that T'Pol had never approached Archer was the possibility that he did not return her feelings.
"Of course he loves her. She is a Human. What was she thinking? She is a Vulcan. Captain Archer had spent most of his life hating Vulcans. How could she even think that he…"
T'Pol took a deep, long breath and slowly let it out. She held the jumble of emotions at arms length and rolled them into a ball. She imagined herself standing at the entrance to a small cave in the Forge. A stiff wind was blowing at her back. She let go of the bundle of emotions and watched them blow into the cave like a balloon. Then she watched as the wind piled sand over the cave entrance to seal it off.
After several more moments of meditative breathing, T'Pol blew out the candles and went to bed.
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OK, for those of you that are booing and hissing at this ending, please read my other story "Ah Ek'wak Ashay", (which is "My Eternal Love" in Vulcan). I think you will like the ending of that one better. I guess I like the tease. If the series had continued for another 3 seasons, I would have liked to have seen teases like this woven throughout to culminate in them getting together in the finale. Oh well, that's what forums like this are for. Thanks for reading.