This chapter's dedicated to kay.note and her essays. It ends abruptly, but I think the next chapter should be rather quick. Let's say at least in three weeks. FOX, Mr. Schwartz, and McG are cool people. I'm just a dork.

It was sitting right there. Right in front of her. And she'd know. For sure. Finally for sure. She just wanted to know whether or not her entire life was about to change. Her entire life, his entire life, and his entire life. Well, maybe not his life as much as it would have before, but still. A lot was riding on this little white stick. This little white stick that could make or break her life. His life, definitely. His life? Maybe. Hopefully. Or maybe hopefully not. It didn't even make sense in her own head, but it would make more sense once she saw it. Once she saw the little blue line, or the little pink line, or wait. She didn't even know what color the line should be. She shouldn't be left with big things like this. She couldn't handle big, huge things like this. She wasn't really that strong. People might think she was, but she really wasn't. Especially when it came to things like this. When it came to things like this, she could swear she was still sixteen, maybe eighteen. Both had been eventful years. And this could be too. Or it might not. It might be a really eventful year according to a few nights ago. But she hoped it wouldn't. But sometimes she really hoped it did. But this stick! This stupid, white stick. Blue, pink, white, it was all bad. She shouldn't have to have this thing. She hadn't wanted to see another one again after the last one. And look how well that turned out. She didn't have to worry about anyone there. Everyone seemed to be happy. What if she didn't end up happy though? What if this was the one mistake that could keep her from having her dreams? Everything she ever wanted...what if it was ruined by this one stick? She wished she could've had her best friend sitting next to her. It would've made it so much easier. Her best friend was so sane nowadays, while she was still staring at this blue stick, blurring all the colors together with her eyes, still unsure what color she wanted to show up. Still unsure which colors should show up. This one was so different from the last one. And then she hadn't been as nervous, because her best friend had been sitting right there. Blue was for a boy, pink was for a girl? No. That's stupid. She wasn't thinking straight. She needed to calm down. She pulled out the instructions again. Two purple bands in both the circle and the triangle meant positive. She knew that. One band in the triangle was negative. Right. She knew this. Taking a breath, she stepped forward.

"Babe?"

"Uh, yes?" She stepped back from the stick and called towards the door.

"Something wrong?"

"Uh, no, I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay."

Jenn leaned over and kissed her father's cheek, making him smile.

"So how was school?"

"Good."

"That's good."

Jenn looked out the window and the sky that was actually almost clouding over. Ryan glanced over at her for a second, but looked back at the road the next.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yeah, Jenn?"

"Do you think, maybe, sometime, you know, Ms. Cabala could come...here?"

"Uh, we can ask. Any reason?"

"Well, I mean, I was thinking that Thanksgiving's coming up, and her son's in Reno, and her daughter's away, so she might get kind of lonely."

"Well, I mean, yeah, sure. Of course we can ask her. We should just ask Grandma and Grandpa first."

Jenn nodded. "I know. I just thought it would be nice."

"It would be nice."

Jenn smiled and leaned her head back down on her palm, finding the same dot on the window she had been staring at before.

"Daddy?" She hadn't even turned her head this time, but he stared at her eyes focused on something he couldn't see.

"Yeah."

"Did Uncle Seth like Theresa?"

"Um, I don't know. You'd have to ask him."

"What do you think?"

"He didn't really know her that well."

"But..."

Ryan shrugged. "He got mad at her, but it wasn't a big deal or anything."

"Why was he mad at her?"

Ryan looked back at her for a second and saw her eyes staring right back up at him.

"Jenn, it's nothing. It's in the past."

Jenn's eyes widened as Ryan turned his head away. "Is that why he left Newport? Why he made Grandma and Grandpa and you cry? Because of me?"

"Baby, it was more than that. He had some stuff he had to work out."

"But he left because you had to go help Theresa have me."

"That was like the final straw of a lot of things. Jenn, he was just mad."

"But he left because of me. In the end." She crossed her arms over her chest and slid down her seat.

"No, Jenn, he..."

"Daddy, you can say whatever you want, but in the end he left because of..."

"He left because of me, okay? It was my fault, and I should've handled it, but I didn't. He left because I made a mistake, and that's why Kirsten cried all the time, and that's why Sandy started burying himself away from his family, and that's why Summer almost committed suicide, or ran away, or became a hooker, or any of that stuff she wanted to do! It all was my fault, so don't blame yourself, Jenn, the baby wasn't it! He knew I was going to go, and I wasn't even man enough to catch on to whatever the fuck he wanted to do! I left him without saying a real goodbye for nine years. It's all my fault, so just...shut your mouth. It's always going to be my fault, and it has nothing to really do with you. It's me! It was me."

Jenn's eyes were fixated on his Adam's apple, afraid to look in his eyes. Her dad was mad about something. These were the times Aunt Summer would take her into the pool house and talk to Daddy with her finger out. She'd point and yell at him and eventually, he would calm down and tell Jenn he was so sorry; he didn't mean to yell at her.

And then she'd ask who he meant to yell at, and he would go quiet. Something like this hadn't happened in forever, though. She thought maybe he was over screaming. Going off, Aunt Summer called it. Because he used to do at least once a week, but he hadn't done it since Uncle Seth had come back. But here he was using the words he said she couldn't, and screaming about nothing she understood. She got the words, but her dad always had something else to say. That's what Aunt Summer said. The words he said weren't what he was trying to get across. There was a reason he was saying each word.

And she knew that when he got like that, she should just get quiet. So she did. And a few minutes later he was apologizing.

"Jenn, babe, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...do that. It's just been...a lot lately."

"I know. I'm sorry I provoked you."

"You didn't. And Uncle Seth didn't leave because of you. I promise."

"It probably wasn't you either."

"Yeah, well..." Ryan put his hand on top of hers.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean to yell."

"I know."

"Okay."

"Okay." She turned and found a smile to give him. He smiled back.

Summer closed her eyes and she was in a romance novel, a romantic comedy, a love song by someone that could really sing. She opened her eyes and she hadn't left his arms, and she smiled, because she knew she didn't have to dream to have perfection. She knew Seth was nearly asleep, his chest was moving extremely slowly, his breath blowing a few hairs on the top of her head. She didn't care. She didn't know what the show they were supposed to be watching was about anyways.

The last time she had fallen asleep at 4:30, she had been a new mother, actually, it had been the day she had moved into the Cohens' house. Kirsten had insisted she calm down, lie down. She had resisted, because Seth needed her. She was still calling her baby Seth. It was his name, so there was no reason she shouldn't, but it was weird, and it hurt her ears sometimes. They had started calling him Chris at three, when he had started to talk so you could understand him. He went on and on and on about everything, sometimes Summer could make out words, but a lot of the time, only he could know exactly what he was saying. Nevertheless, he talked all the time. And Sandy had started it. Calling him Chris. He said that a boy had to be his own man, and that he couldn't stand calling him someone else. Kirsten called him Seth up until the original Seth came back.

Summer's eyes blinked open a few times, being met by large green eyes and a few random dark brown wisps.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to go."

"Where?"

"Daddy's on the phone."

Summer nodded, slipping out from under Seth's arm and yawning dramatically. She took the phone from Chris and took it into the kitchen.

"Hey," Summer mumbled.

"Hey. Are you okay? You sound tired."

"Uh, yeah, I just woke up."

"You nap?"

"Sometimes." Summer hopped onto the counter.

"Okay, then."

"So what's up, Luke? You just want to chat about my sleeping habits?"

"You're cranky."

"You woke me up. Actually, your son did, but you know."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just wanted to know if you guys were getting on okay."

"You know we are. What's up?"

"I'm sorry for wanting to know about my-my family."

Summer sighed, crossing her legs. "It's okay. What, are you lonely or something? Where are you? Still in Newport?"

"Uh, yeah, at the Marriott."

"I'll be there in, like, ten minutes."

"No, that's okay. You don't have to."

"Shut up, Luke."

She hung up the phone and grabbed her keys off the kitchen table. She knelt beside the couch, Chris in the place she had been laying a few seconds ago. He was turned into Seth's chest, his breathing slow and heavy. Summer kissed his head and Seth's too, and left a note on the table saying she was out.

She knocked sharply at his door, tapping her right foot impatiently. Luke opened the door with a wire connected to his ear and a loosened tie hanging on his neck. He beckoned her in, shutting the door behind her.

"Listen, Scott, I'm sure your wife needs you, but this is possibly going to break us. I'd have to let you go. Scott. Scott." Luke pulled the wire out of his ear and looked down at his cell phone in his hand. "Goddammit."

Summer rolled her eyes and pulled the phone out of his hand.

"You made me come all the way down here; you're not going to ignore me no matter how awkward you think this might be." She tossed the phone onto the side table of the suite.

"You didn't have to come down here."

"You're so lame, of course I did. Do you have any food?" She walked away from him and into the kitchen, reaching up into the cupboards.

"Wow, cheap wine and Chinese food, looking to seduce a woman and get laid, Luke Ward?"

"It's just me here until I leave, so..."

Summer pulled out the white cartons and the dark wine bottle and very unceremoniously sat down on the floor of the kitchen.

"You know, there's a table," Luke said, leaning against the door frame.

"Tables are for losers. You hungry? Yeah, you are. Come eat."

Luke looked down at his dress shirt and pants, looked up to Summer, shrugged, and sat down across from her.

"Dumpling?" She held out the box.

"Yes, dear?" He cracked a grin and took the box from her. She rolled her eyes again.

"That was really bad."

"I know. Sorry."

"So, who's Scott?"

"Kid just out of college. Wants to either sell cars or become a rock star."

"No astronaut?"

Luke shook his head. "But I think that's what he majored in at NYU."

"NYU...impressive. Scott's married when he's just out of NYU?"

"Yeah, high school sweetheart. Used to live down the street from him."

"Aw. That's cute."

Luke laughed and shook his head again. "You hate it."

"What? Why?"

"It's too perfect. Cheesy."

"Maybe."

"You like the drama."

"Well, it does make better gossip. So, any mistress for young Scott?"

"Not yet."

Summer smiled and swung back the bottle of wine.

Marissa knocked on the Cohens' door, opened by a sweatshirt clad Kirsten.

"Marissa, sweetie, how are you? You're looking beautiful."

"Thanks, Ms. Cohen. Is Summer here?"

"Um, I'm sorry, sweetie, she had to run out. She should be back soon, though, if you want to wait."

"Um, okay. What are you up to?"

"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire reruns. Care to join me?"

"Sure." Marissa grinned and followed Kirsten up the stairs. They sat on the floor of the master bedroom, and Marissa turned her head a bit. She'd never been in here. She'd known the Cohens since she was seven, and she had never been in their bedroom. Kirsten was just watching the t.v.

"Celebrity 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' Yeah, I have a life." Kirsten grinned up at Marissa from her position on her stomach and elbows. Marissa mimicked her stance.

"It's nearly the holidays. You don't have to have a life."

"Yeah, that's true. There's such a build-up at work, though. How's that going for you? I never saw a lot of your clothing."

"It's...coming. Slow, but it'll be finished soon. I hope. I hate having other people do things for me. They almost always screw it up."

"Marissa, your mother has worked for me for almost ten years. Believe me, I know."

Marissa giggled and pulled her ankles up to meet each other. "Right."

Kirsten laughed and touched Marissa's forehead with her thumb. "I always wanted you and Summer to be the ones, you know that? I couldn't have found better girls if I chose girlfriends for my boys."

Marissa smiled and nodded. "You were always the best. I wanted to be part of your family since I was ten, but Seth had cooties then, so..."

"Right. Sorry about that." Kirsten smiled back. "But, you know, if you ever need a place to run away to, our doors are open."

"I know."

"Good."

Seth woke up with his arm stuffed between the cushions of the couch, along with the long lost remote. He rolled over onto his back, a tiny face now embedded into his side. He propped himself up onto his elbows and recognized the little boy. A few seconds after his eyes fell on Chris's face, Chris's eyes opened.

"Hey," Chris groaned, pushing himself up.

"Morning."

"It's the afternoon."

"It's an expression. Where's your mom?"

"I think she went to see Dad."

Seth nodded. "How long ago?"

Chris shrugged. "I was sleeping."

"Right. So, I have to shower, but you want to go somewhere after? The..." yawn. "beach or something?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay." Seth ruffled his hair, yawned again, and headed towards the bathroom.

"Oh. My. God, I did not." Summer giggled and took another drink from the open wine bottle.

"Yes, you did. The week before graduation, you made a move on me."

"Stop flattering yourself, Mr. Ward, you know nothing."

"But this is true, Miss Roberts."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night."

"Yeah...so."

"So."

"How's Seth?"

"You really want to know?"

"Dying to."

"I swear that kid gets hotter every day."

"That's...lucky."

"Mm-hmm."

"But you guys are good? He treats you...good?"

"No, Luke, he beats me like every day. Of course we're good." Summer pushed Luke's shoulder a bit to emphasize her point.

"Yeah, of course. Of course you're good. How's he with Chris?" Luke's drunken tone had softened, causing Summer's face to go with it.

"Why do you want to know, Luke?"

"I'm just wondering how my son is."

"They're great together. Seth takes care of Chris, and Chris takes care of Seth. They're always smiling and laughing, and I think Chris tries to pull him closer into a father position every day." Summer's eyes were on her lap, but Luke just nodded.

"That's good. Because, then, if you and Seth decide to...Chris will be ready."

"Luke, he loves you, you know? Chris talks about you almost every day. He misses you when you're gone."

"I know."

"I miss you too sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I am with Seth, though."

"I know. And I really just want to be your friend."

Summer looked up and raised her eyebrows.

Luke stammered, "What? I-I do."

"Good, then."

"So tell me about Seth. Is it the same as it was?" Luke reclined back to an elbow and Summer pulled her knees in.

"Sometimes. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes it's...weird."

"Weird?"

"He makes me nervous."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid...that...he was happier out...there." Summer gestured with her hand around her head, letting it finally rest on her shoulder.

"He wasn't."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. He loves you."

"Why are you doing this, Luke? You really want me to be with him?"

Luke ignored her. "Does he make you happy?"

Summer wasn't expecting that, but shrugged anyway. "Yeah. Most of the time."

"And the rest of the time?"

"I told you; he makes me nervous."

"What about him?"

"What do you mean, what about him?"

"Do you think he's nervous?"

"I...don't know."

"Yes, you do. You can see nervous. It's one of your gifts."

"Oh really." Summer cracked a grin. "What are my other gifts?"

Luke kept a serious face. "You see the good when other people can't. You don't let people make decisions for you. You're not afraid of what you think is right. You're willing to do what you have to to get there. And you do it all while being one of the most beautiful women in the world."

"Okay." It was the first word she could think of, and once sputtered out of Summer's mouth, it hung there looking quite stupid.

Luke nodded. "Truth or dare."

Summer looked up, slightly confused for a second, but murmured, "Truth."

"Can you always remember the seconds you spent with him that year, or do they come to you when you're...in an embrace?"

Summer pulled her knees in farther, resting her chin on top. "Both sometimes. They'll come at random times. I never used to remember anything. But somehow, those days got seared in and they come to surface and random times. And they're usually small shreds. Except for when he kisses me, then they come in bunches."

Luke nodded; Summer nodded back.

"Truth or dare?" Summer nodded towards Luke.

"Truth."

"Would you ever sacrifice a dream girl for one that'll do when you decide to get married?"

Luke thought about it for a second. Another. Then he looked up. "Yes. If need be. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Do you ever wish Seth was Chris's father by blood?"

Summer sat still, but kept her mouth closed from yelling at Luke for asking her a question she didn't want to answer. "No. I've thought about it, though. What would be different, and stuff."

"Is it better than it is now?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes not. Truth or dare."

"Dare."

Marissa lay on her back next to Kirsten, both staring at the ceiling.

"Kirsten? If I told you something, could you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Yes."

"I'm pregnant."

Ryan picked up his ringing cell phone before it managed to leak through Jenn's headphones.

"Hello?"

"Ryan."

Ryan's eyes remained exactly the same, his mouth slightly twitched upwards. "Theresa."

Seth lay still on his bed, Captain Oats lying on his chest.