Lies 32
He heaved until there was nothing left in his stomach, and then continued to dry heave. Resting his cheek on the cool toilet rim, he slowly realized it had stopped, meaning the alien was completely expelled from his body. He was lucky it had decided to break free in a way other than popping through ripped abdominal flesh and ribs like all the others, leaving him alive and free to flush. He and Ripley were the chosen ones. Sweaty, with hands shaking and his face the color of chalk, he pushed up and away from the toilet and sat back on his heels, pausing to make sure the change in altitude wouldn't cause dizziness. It was too quiet and the air felt heavy around him. Now what was he supposed to do? Visions of the huge bed in the other room taunted him, with a lovely scene of falling back onto soft pillows and letting the air conditioning do it's happy thing. Realizing the distance and amount of movement involved to get there, he took a good look at the tile floor he was currently kneeling on and decided he was already home, sweet home. He turned and began to stretch out, abruptly sitting up and shrieking when a pale Summer, sitting with her back against the opposite wall, spoke.
"Are you ok?" Grimacing wryly at his yell, she continued. "Other than the terrified part?" She pushed a dry towel with a wet cloth folded on top toward him with perfectly done toes, nails the color of wine.
Seth lay down on his side, pulling his knees up into the fetal position. "Geez! Lurk much?! I had no idea you were there!" He grabbed the wet cloth and shakily wiped his face. "Thanks."
She nodded, still speaking in a subdued voice. "Just you and Ripley in here, huh."
"No, she wasn't here." He sighed, closing his eyes. "We were the only ones that…never mind. I could have sworn I was giving birth for a minute there, except for, you know, the wrong orifice."
"I'm sorry," she replied quietly.
He knew she was referring to more than his stomach pain, but tried to keep things light. "It's not your fault I can't hold my breakfast. I have a very sensitive digestive system; it's the combinations that get me. You know, French toast AND eggs. You should see what happens with waffles and bacon – it's just not pretty at all."
It was quiet for a while, and he looked up to see her holding her side, eyes closed. His guilt overwhelmed him. "It's my fault, isn't it? I should have kept my mouth shut; I shouldn't have called him a pervert. I started the whole thing, and now you're all……messed up again." Taking her silence for agreement, he rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with an arm. "God, I suck. I'm really sorry."
It was quiet for another minute.
"It is because of you." Her voice low, she talked over his groan of guilt. "Ever since kindergarten you've been messed with by other kids - shoved, beat up, everything. "
"Don't forget the pee in the shoes."
"I've never seen you defend yourself."
"So my being a big old dorky wuss has something to do with this?" He decided the conversation might go better if he'd stop talking. He could tell he was annoying her, but the Cohen mouth was wired to run during uneasy dialogues.
"Yes. You never stand up for yourself, never resort to violence but all of a sudden there you were going all Chino on my father - defending me. The fog lifted right then."
"There was fog? Sorry. I'm in the deep end of not knowing how to participate in the conversation. You know, when stupid stuff comes out of my mouth."
"Just listen. I know what you're about, Seth, what kind of a good person you are, but you'll never be a brawler. You were totally about to try to kick his ass just because you care about me, and suddenly it was so obvious that he's never going to be the dad that I wanted, like, it was as clear as this diamond on my finger, finally, exactly what he is and what he'll never be. And when the chance of ever having a dad that cares about me went away, when that hope died? I was so mad that I'd let him have that……HOLD on me all this time, and I wasn't about to let him have control over any more of my life, so, so, and - and all this stuff started boiling up in me and I couldn't keep my mouth shut for one more second about any of it." She sighed heavily.
Seth felt so bad he couldn't even look at her. His arm stayed over his eyes. "I'm so sorry for all of this, Summer. I just couldn't – "
"Cohen, shut up. I'm saying that because I have you I was finally able to let it out………I'm not sorry. I'm way disturbed about it, but – not sorry." Her voice lowered, faltering. "I'm sure it was less than a thrill for you, though."
"I'll uh, yeah. I'll live." He moved his arm and stared at the ceiling. "You're ok, really?"
"Fine." She winced while standing up.
Seth hauled himself off the floor. "Wait a minute, I'll help you. Just one minute." He went to the sink and washed his face again, then quickly brushed his teeth.
"I feel sorta human now." Turning back, he found she'd already left the room.
Pulling on a pair of jeans by the time he caught up, she glanced at him as he entered the room. She was nude from the waist up, and he unconsciously averted his eyes. She turned her back and slowly pulled on a top. "You should call home, there's about 50 missed calls on your phone."
"How did - ? Oh. I turned it off last night." He dialed as he made a trip into the kitchen for a glass of water. "Hey…… I turned it off so we could get some sleep……I'm not sure." He lowered his voice and whispered into the phone. "Look, her dad was just here……well, she, like, let him have it……yes, about that!………I don't really know how she is, other than pale.……………well, what do YOU think? It was bad, like – I can't think of a word that might define the kind of "bad" that it was… Me? I'm - yeah; she wouldn't let me hit him……That's not funny, Father.….. We'll be over in time to sleep in our separate guarded cells tonight, ok?…... Later." He padded quietly back to the main room.
Summer was at the glass wall, looking out at the peaceful scene that had greeted her when she woke up. "It started out so good," she murmured. "A good day."
"What?"
She turned, realizing his presence. "Nothing."
"I – uh…" Seth's mouth was open, but no words were coming. The air was still charged with shadows of the confrontation and the dark subject matter.
As they both relived the scene with her father, they stared past each other in awkward silence. When it stretched into unbearable, Summer briefly closed her eyes, then went to the nightstand and grabbed a pencil and paper out of the drawer. "What's your Dad's number?" Her tone was curt.
She jotted it down as he spoke, then cut him off before he could ask why. "You can go home, Cohen. I need to talk over some things with your dad, and I need some time alone." She grabbed one of his shirts from his bag and threw it at him.
He barely snagged it out of the air, caught completely off guard. "Summer – what the – ?"
"You're going home. Get your keys; hit the road." She was firm.
"But – you're supposed to come over; I'll just run up and grab you some clo –"
"No, you're not. Take a break from the drama." She walked over to him and began pushing him toward the door. "Out. Out. Out. Go. Go. Go."
"Stop, stop, STOP!" Seth disentangled himself and grabbed her by the shoulders. "What is going on with you?!"
She shrugged out of his grasp, backing away. "I told you, I need some time alone."
Seth looked at her as if she was nuts. "But you shouldn't be by yourself – your dad was- "
Summer squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists. "I can't. Do this. With you right now."
Seth was completely bewildered. "Do what?!!"
She finally broke, emotion cracking her voice. "Seth, it made you PUKE! You can't even LOOK at me and my head is spinning and I don't want to think about what it means because I'm trying to deal with my father's crap and I CAN'T. DO. THIS right now!!……" She took a breath, getting control, and her voice softened. "Please, Cohen, just go. I'm begging you."
Seth was disturbed by her insinuation and trying to think of something profound to say that would make it better for her and ease the tension between the two of them. Deciding to keep his mouth shut instead of letting fly with something that potentially could worsen the situation, he backed away a step then walked to the door. He looked back before leaving, but she'd disappeared.
Seth barreled through the kitchen and into the living room. "Dude, you're home. Where's dad?" He passed swiftly through the living room and down the hall to his dad's study.
Ryan waited patiently, and when Seth breezed back into the room he raised a hand. "Hey, man. Yeah, I'm doin' good, thanks for asking, and he's at work, which is where he normally is this time of day."
Seth nodded. "Work. Yes. I knew that." He grabbed the phone and dialed. "Dad? Call me as soon as you get this. AS SOON AS you get this." He dialed another number. "Hey Sylvia. Is my Dad there? No, no message, thanks. Bye."
Flopping into a recliner, he lowered the back and stared at the ceiling. "He's not at work! Damn it!"
"What's going on? I thought Summer was coming with you?" Ryan glanced out the window to the driveway.
"Oh my god, Ryan. I thought she was too! I don't know what to do; I need to talk to dad!"
"Did you have a fight? Talk to me, man, obviously something big's up." Ryan was concerned by his friend's state of mind.
"Oh, there was a fight all right, a HUGE one, but not between Summer and I, but she made me leave and she's – " He clapped a hand over his mouth. " Dude, I can't talk to you about this."
"Seth, you tell me everything, whether I want to hear it or not."
"True. But this isn't about me, except for it is kinda, and I hated what she was saying, but it's true! Unwaveringly true; I didn't mean to throw up, but I kept seeing THAT and I couldn't help look away." He popped the lever and sat up in the chair, dropping his head into his hands, then sliding them down his cheeks. He turned his head and stared at Ryan, lying on the couch. "I totally bailed on her. I failed her, Ryan, and made everything even worse for her."
"That made absolutely no sense. But seriously, Seth, you've been there for her through this whole thing. Sandy and Kirsten have both talked about how – " he made finger quotes in the air – " 'mature' you've been, handling it all."
He snorted. "I so did not handle this." Picking up the phone, he dialed his father's cell again. "Hellooo?!! CALL me." He punched the button and set the phone down, immediately picking it back up. "She didn't say I couldn't call her when she threw me out." He began dialing again.
Ryan got up and grabbed the phone out of Seth's hand. "Look. I don't know what's going on, but I know enough to save you from a stupid move. If she threw you out, chances are good that she isn't up for talking on the phone. What did she say – "
"Ryan, I need that phone, buddy."
"Seth. Focus. What did she say when she made you leave? What was her reason?" Ryan walked back to the couch and got comfortable.
"She couldn't do it then. She was gonna talk to dad. She needed alone time." He glanced at his watch. "She's had some now, so maybe – "
"No. When a girl tells you they want to be alone, calling them before they call you just says you don't respect their wishes. It says you're more interested in what you want than what they want."
Seth glared at him. "Thanks, Dr. Phil." He leaned back in the chair again. "I hate it when you're right."
Ryan gave him a small smile.
"I'm sorry, man. Really. How are you? You look kinda peaked still. You doin' ok?"
"I am stuffed full of pills and about to leak water from my ears, but at least I'm home. I feel better. Thanks." Ryan slid the phone under the cushion just in case Seth lost his mind again.
"Yeah, I'm an ass for not asking before. I was just worried – "
"About Summer." Ryan finished for him. "Its cool. Sounds pretty serious."
"You have no idea. Horrendous, even." Seth stared at the ceiling while Ryan went back to watching tv. He watched the clock on the wall tick away 5 minutes then blurted it out. "Summer was abused when she was little." He took a deep breath. "She told mom and dad knows and you're family and I know you'll never say anything to her or anybody else about it."
Ryan's expression turned sad. "I won't. That's tough, man."
"Yeah, well, she's never confronted the person in all this time and today she did while I was there. It was – all the things they said – it was so awful, Ryan, I cannot begin to tell you. Then when it was over, she like, crumpled into a little ball on the floor and what did I do instead of going to see how she was? Here's what I did. Listen to this. 'Mr. Mature' ran for the bathroom to throw up! And every time I looked at her I – it was like a movie playing of what happened to her and it was so utterly terrible that I stopped looking at her. I couldn't. So now she thinks she makes me sick and she didn't want to deal with that AND the other nightmare, so she made me leave." He filled his lungs with air and let it out again. "How do I fix this? How did this happen?"
Ryan let out a low whistle. "Seth. You need to do what she says. Give her some time to get a grip on things."
"But I need to know if she's ok! She's all banged up from the car already and she shouldn't be alone. I don't want her to think she makes me sick, and I need to talk to her!"
"Listen to yourself, man. It's not about you, you, you. She's the one that this happened to; try to focus on what she wants. If she needs you, she'll let you know."
Seth let that sink in for a moment. "You're right. Again. So that means that I can't call her or see her until she wants me to. I have to just sit and worry and wonder and stare at the phone until it rings. Fabulous. Excellent, even."
"Love hurts." Ryan commiserated.
Seth made a face. "Yeah, they need to explain that in great detail about sixth grade. It would make some people think twice about dating."
"If you'd known about all this before, would you have still wanted to be with Summer?" Ryan stretched his legs out, and pulled the phone from under the cushion.
Seth didn't even have to think about it. "God, yes. She's undeniable. And none of this is her fault, anyway."
"Then do whatever you have to do to keep her, man. Even if it sucks and you hate it."
Seth nodded slowly. "You're very wise. How did you get to be so – oh never mind, I know. Chino aged you into a 26-year-old man living in a 17-year-old's body."
Ryan nodded. "That's me. You up for some Playstation? Take your mind off things?"
"I suppose. I can stare at the phone and kick your ass at the same time." He sighed deeply. "It's going to be a long afternoon."
The phone rang an hour later, and Seth flew across the room to answer it. "Summer?!…… Oh. Dad. Hey……She called you? What'd she say? Is she all right?……Client confidentiality my ASS – She's my girlfriend and I already know why she called you!!! ……Fine. Whatever. She wasn't all freaked out and crying?……Good. Did – did she give you a message or anything for me?……Nothing at all?" His look of hope died………"Yeah, yeah, Dr. Phil Atwood already gave me the sermon. You know how patience is one of my more common characteristics………I know. It's just – you didn't see her – I'm afraid she's gonna like, self-destruct or something…… Ok. Thanks. Later." He dropped the phone and turned to Ryan.
"Nothing? No message?"
Seth shook his head and went to the window, staring out. He was uncharacteristically quiet for about 10 minutes.
Ryan finally couldn't stand it any longer. "Seth, talk. I know you want to."
He continued staring outside. "I just keep thinking – Dude, I don't even want to say it out loud…"
"Say it."
"What if it doesn't go away? What if – if I always see the awful things happening to her whenever I look at her? Is that stuck permanently in my head? This is exactly why she never wanted me to know, because she was afraid I'd see her differently! It wasn't so – HUGE – before, I just pushed it out of my head and concentrated on her, but after I saw him, and the things he said to her and what she said to him - I don't mean to, but I do!"
"Him?"
Seth turned to Ryan. "Ryan, my God, he is such a sleazeball - I wanted to pound his face in until he was unrecognizable and then keep pounding for the fun of it."
Ryan raised his eyebrows in question.
Seth raised his hands, still confused about it himself. "Yes, me, Seth Cohen, neighborhood punching bag extraordinaire. I stole one of your moves, by the way."
"You HIT him?"
"No, she wouldn't let me, but I had him scared. Seriously."
"Seth, I believe you. So, I'm assuming the abuse… was, uh, sexual?"
He nodded once.
Ryan shook his head. "Guys like that, I swear…" His hands unconsciously clenched into fists. "I don't know, man. It would be hard not to…think about that, I guess, when you look at her, especially since you were there for the meltdown. That doesn't mean it'll always be like that. Just give her some time and give yourself a break. Your soft life in the O.C. hasn't exactly prepared you for something like this."
Seth just shook his head, miserable. "If you'd seen her face when she told me to leave; it was like I'd just hit her or something…"
"She'll be ok, man. She's tough, and she knows you care about her."
"I hope so." He started for the stairs. "You need anything?"
Ryan shook his head. "I'm good."
"I'm gonna go lay down. Maybe staring at the ceiling and gnashing my teeth will help." He turned. "Thanks, man."
Ryan raised a hand and smiled sadly. "Get some rest. Anna's coming over after school to bring us homework."
Seth rolled his eyes. "Be SURE to wake me up for that. Homework is JUST what I want to do. AbsoLUTEly." He waved and plodded up the stairs.
"SETH COHEN! DOWNSTAIRS! NOW!!"
His mother's voice woke him from a nightmare, and for that he was grateful. The tone she was expressing herself with automatically made him cringe; he'd heard it before, and good things had never come to pass during those times. He sat up, disoriented, and the events of the day crushed in on him. "What now?" he muttered. "What else could possibly happen now?"
"SETH! NOW!"
"Geez, I'm coming…ON MY WAY, MOM!" He slowly got up, surprised that he'd actually fallen asleep with all the chaos in his head. Checking the window, he realized it was dark out. He'd been asleep for quite a while.
Stumbling down the stairs, he discovered the front door hanging open and went outside. "What?! Good Lord, you sounded like the house was on f –"
His father and mother were standing with arms crossed, expressionless, staring down the driveway. Ryan was beside them, taken aback in frank admiration and what could only be called awe. Seth turned to look, and started in shock. A new black Hummer 2 was parked next to the Range Rover, effectively dwarfing it. Tinted windows gave it a mean effect, and Seth was instantly in love. "Dude! How awesome is that! I mean, that is a totally kick-ass ride……" He trailed off, noticing that his parents attention, and complete lack of amusement were now directed at him. "What?… What!?…Oohh, you think I - ?…" He shook his head quickly. "I did not – I mean, I don't know anything about it. Nothing. Not me. I'm innocent."
His mother grimly handed him a bulky envelope with his name on it.
"Oh…… I – I – still don't – uh…" Grogginess from sleep was quickly wearing off. Surely she didn't – no way she did this.
"Open it, Seth." His dad sounded a little less irate than his mom, but not by much.
Seth tore the flap open and held the envelope upside down. A set of keys fell out into his hand with a gold key ring attached that was shaped like a military dog tag. Words were stamped into it, and he had to hold it up to the porch light to make them out.
"What's it say? What is it, man?" Ryan was dying of curiousity.
"It says……oh my God, mom, dad, I didn't do this – this wasn't my idea I swear."
"Read it." The tone left no room for discussion.
"All right! It says 'Cohen', then 'Covert Ops Vehicle'. But I didn't – this is Summer's! A Hummer and a Porsche, it was just a joke, I swear! I didn't think she'd really do it, and I NEVER thought that it would be – here – in the, uh, driveway – all gi-normous and – and badass. I can't believe she did this; WHY did she do this?!!"
"So Summer bought you a Hummer? Hey, that rhymes." Sandy was less upset about it with the knowledge that Seth hadn't gotten it for himself, maybe even a little impressed. Kirsten jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow. "Oh, yeah. It's way too expensive a gift, son, to get … from…a girlfriend. You can't possibly –"
"She didn't get it for me! We were kidding around about what she should replace the Corvette with, and I told her to ask for a Porsche and a Hummer, cuz she kind of has a – like a – vehicle fairy, but it was a joke! Then she actually DID ask for both, but I never – I didn't think she'd – Wow…" Seth was amazed. "I guess this means she doesn't hate me, right, Ryan? It means SOMETHING, right? It has to mean something a little on the positive side, don't you think?"
Ryan nodded slowly. "Yes, Seth, a new Hummer? Definitely DOESN'T mean she hates you."
"Right. That's what I thought. Maybe there's something else in here." He shook the envelope and a small slip of paper floated to the ground. Dropping the keys, he lunged for it, ending up in a heap on the asphalt. He got up and held it to the light, reading it silently. "That's it?" He sighed heavily. "She wants me to take care of it for her. So you won't have to take us to school and you can have your truck back, mom." He shook his head, upset. "I was hoping it would tell me to call her. Or something. Anything in the way of contact."
"That's very sweet of her, but what I want to know is why Summer would hate you? I missed something here. What's going on, Seth?" Kirsten was confused, and Sandy echoed the question.
"It's uh – complicated." He looked to Ryan for help.
Ryan held up his hands. "Maybe they can give you some advice, man. Tell them."
Seth shrugged. "You guys got an hour or three?"
"Come on, son." Sandy put a hand on Seth's shoulder, and they all filed into the house.