What: Christmas Karaoke, a fanfiction. Humor, probably no pairings unless my muse stops taking happy drugs and starts making me write something besides humor.
When: Takes place SOMETIME around the Shaman Fight. AU-ish.
Why: Because I couldn't wait for Christmas. And it's probably gonna take me AGES to update, so here. I decided not to become a procrastinator for once and actually type this story, which has been in my notebook for about five days.
Yes, my friend OtakuNekoGirl will be helping me out with song lyrics every once in a while. The song here, though, is almost all mine, except for the first two lines, which come from her. Sorry for the longish-ness, but you know. xD
Otakunekogirl: Ahem not only with the lyrics but also with the funny and the story line.
Re-edit: Hell, what did you do with this part of this story? Re-edit the lyrics? What kind of useless help was that? -re-edits lyrics- Yours was out of tune.
Anyway hope you enjoy it!
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"Remind me again why we're having a Christmas party?" Silva asked cautiously. "Is it really the best idea to have all these shamans here in one place?"
"They survived living in Patch Village together this long, they should be able to stand a simple Christmas party. Besides, this is good for inter-team cooperation, so they can get to know each other before beating each other up."
"But—"
"Anyway, if they manage to kill someone then they'll be disqualified." Apparently thinking that was going to be enough reason to have a Christmas party, Goldva cleared her throat and stepped up to the mike. "Now, I think you all want to know why we summoned you here."
A general murmur of agreement was heard from the crowd.
"You're all here…" she paused dramatically. "You're all here… for the Shaman Fight Christmas party!"
Everyone's jaws dropped simultaneously. The crowd started talking amongst themselves, all of them saying something around the lines of, "THAT'S WHY YOU SUMMONED US HERE?"
Ignoring everyone's whisperings, she plowed on with her explanation. "We're having this event to raise holiday cheer and foster better relations among the teams. There will be food and drinks, as you can see." She pointed over to the tables at the side of the room, piled up with mountains of food and about a dozen punch bowls.
Everyone seemed to brighten up at the mention of food. Who wouldn't want free food? From the Patch, no less. Gradually, their initial hostility melted away and they started taking plates, piling them up with food.
Soon enough, everyone had taken at least a second helping of food and at least one cup of punch. Their moods seemed to change. People started talking to each other, enjoying each others' company. Maybe this really was something for inter-team relationships, after all.
But eventually, you might have spotted something was wrong. One way was simply to look at Iron Maiden Jeanne. She was having her tenth cup of punch; her face was growing redder by the minute and her speech was getting more slurred after each sip. Soon it was easy to see: The Iron Maiden was drunk, and the punch was spiked.
Another (noticeably) drunk person was Ryu, who was running around, screaming about llamas, while relatively sober people attempted to catch him.
Goldva watched the drunken stupidity unfold. It was all going according to plan. Grinning, she went over to address the crowd again.
"Well," she said. "Now that you're all relatively –drunk-, I think it's safe to announce the main phase of the party."
The sober people were surprised. Main event? There was more to this party than food and spiked punch?"
"The main event…" Goldva paused for the second time that night, annoying the crowd. "The main event is karaoke."
Everyone blinked. It took ten seconds before their survival instincts kicked in, and the sober ones headed for the door en mass. Some people, though (Jeanne and Ryu among them) were simply too drunk to care.
"Did I mention you'll be disqualified if you don't attend?""
Everyone found their urge to kill Goldva increase thousandfold. But slowly, grudgingly, they all went back to their seats.
"Now, any volunteers for first victi—I mean, singer?"
It seemed Jeanne could hold the alcohol no longer. Sounding like a five-year old on sugar high, she screamed, "ME!" and jumped onstage.
Alarmed, the X-Laws tried stopping the Iron Maiden. "But, Jeanne-sama, this means you have to sing!"
"Yesh, I'll be sing—sing—shinging," Jeanne slurred. "And joo will all be here on shtage as.. back—backup shingersh."
"WHAT? But…"
"I SAID GET ON STAGE! NOW!"
Marco shot one last look of despair at the drunk Jeanne. Then, as if resigned to his fate, he grabbed the drink out of a random person's hand and finished it. It was going to be much easier to do this if he was drunk.
Reluctantly, all the X-Laws slouched onstage, including a now-drunk Marco and a red-faced Lyserg. His red face complemented his green hair, giving him a very festive look.
Jeanne smiled as they all got onstage. "Thatza shpirit! Now, are you all here?"" With a look of extreme concentration, she pointed at them, apparently counting the number of X-Laws already on stage.
A moment of silence passed before Lyserg pointed out in a small voice, "I think we're all here, Jeanne-sama."
"Oh?" She looked surprised. "I thought there were only three Marcos and two Lyserg-shaped Christmas Decorations." Jeanne giggled. "Oh, well…"
She spun around to face the crowd. "We will be singing our X-Laws version of 'Joy to the World,'" she explained. "Ready? 5, 6, 7, 8!"
And in a voice surprisingly clear for someone so drunk, she started singing:
Joy to the world, Hao is dead
We barbecued his head
Let every shaman
Rejoice his death
Let Jeanne and the X-Laws sing,
Let Jeanne and the X-Laws sing,
Let Jeanne, Let Jeanne and the X-Laws sing.
The X-Laws, all looking like they would rather be any place but there, sang the next stanza.
Jeanne rules the world, with justice and truth,
And all the X-Laws too!
The glory and the righteousness
And really cool white cars
And angel Oversouls
And all of the glory of Jeanne-sama.
Jeanne finished the song, looking pleased. The X-Laws finished the backup, looking suicidal. And a handful of people clapped halfheartedly, looking confused and pitiful. Lyserg turned an even deeper shade of red, making his likeness to a Christmas ornament even more obvious. Jeanne was about to step offstage when a cold voice remarked, "I am not amused."
Jeanne spun around to find the source of the voice, tripped, and fell off stage. Getting up slowly, she saw who had spoken. "Hao!" she yelled. With another look of concentration, she attempted to form her Oversoul. Needless to say she was not successful.
"Yes, me." Hao said, acknowledging Jeanne's comment with a nod. "I was not amused. Can't the X-Laws sing better Christmas carols than that?"
"You…" Jeanne charged drunkenly at Hao. He stepped out of Jeanne's way, and onstage. Grabbing the microphone, he smirked at Jeanne and said, "This is the proper way to sing a Christmas carol."
---
Yes, I told you, I would be making a singing!Hao. I already know what song he'll be singing, so there is no point in you asking him to sing something else. There will also be singing!Yoh, drunk!Ren, drunk!Anna, singing!Manta, Christmasornament!Lyserg notdrunk!Tamao, and LilyFive!Singing!Ensemble, to name a few. That is, if I can finish this. Now go review so I won't be sad and stop making this. But if you really want to influence the fanfic, you can suggest a song for singing!Anna and LilyFive!Singing!Ensemble and what to do with ChristmasOrnament!Lyserg.
Until later, then. ---Ona
You'll enjoy this we have really good ones!--otakunekogirl
Re-edit: Katrina, I do believe in commas, I do, I do!