Ona: Hey! Ona here again. Ona is not sure why she had to credit OtakuNekoGirl, because OtakuNekoGirl writes none of the story, and only does minor help with the lyrics. Ona has to write everything for herself, since she does not trust OtakuNekoGirl's grammar. Ona is aware she is talking in the third person; she does so because it is cool. Yes, Ona is out of her mind and on a sugar high. Please forgive her.

Otakunekogirl:. You do know I help not that little it's because you're so uptight with the grammar.Why not go on a date with Ren someday that will make you feel better. I did not do only some of the lyrics. Take Lyserg's jingle as an example. You just forgot the damn lyrics and replaced them.

Ona: Well, duh. I lost the paper I wrote the lyrics down on.

Disclaimer: Ona does not own Shaman King. She does not really own the lyrics, either, since the lyrics are edited from traditional Christmas songs. Ona got all the Latin phrases off a site called Latin for the Masses, go there. She finds it extremely funny. Songs butchered—I mean, edited— here are Silent Night, Jingle Bells, Give Love on Christmas Day, Christmas in Our Hearts, and I'll Be Home For Christmas. The Latin phrases belong to whoever created them on that webpage, Latin for the Masses. I mean no harm in editing these songs, do not shoot me. Ex quocumque facere poteris te sauciabit. (Anything you do can get you shot) Same is said for Katrina

--

"This is how you sing a Christmas carol."

As if on cue, three of Hao's minions stepped up to be backup singers. The Hanagumi stood behind Hao, looking bored. Smirking, Hao started his song explanation. "This is an edited version of 'Silent Night,'" he said. "I will be lead singer, with Mari, Matti and Kanna as backup." He started singing.

Silent night, shamanic night

Humans are gone, none in sight

Round yon' Hao and spirit of fire

Shaman King and his strong empire

Hao the shaman is king…

Hao the shaman is k—

"QUEEN!" Jeanne interrupted suddenly.

Hao glared at Jeanne. "I let you finish your song; can't you do the same for me?"

Jeanne stared up at him defiantly. "Your song sucks. You're not a boy. You're a girl. Thus, if you do win the shaman fight, you are QUEEN."

Hao gave her an odd look. "Are you so drunk that you can't tell the difference between girls and boys?"

"Yes I can!" Jeanne protested. "I mean, look at your hair! It's so long. You HAVE to be a girl. And so is that person beside you. Kind of looks like you, too! I also have this picture of you in a princess outfit!"

"Yoh?" Hao looked to his right. No one was there. Then, he looked to his left. Still no one there.

"No, silly!" Jeanne burst into girlish giggles. "He looks EXACTLY like you. With the hair and the weird blanket cape and everything."

"Jeanne-sama, there's no one there," Lyserg said cautiously.

"Huh? What?"

"It's probably just… um… double vision."

"I don't have double vision!" Jeanne protested. "How do you know? You're just a Christmas Ornament."

Lyserg gave an annoyed sigh and stormed off to the punch bowl, still a superb shade of red.

Hao frowned. He'd forgotten the rest of the lyrics to his song. It was time to make another one up, preferably one that insulted Jeanne and all her little minions.

The Hanagumi were obviously tired of being backup singers, and took matters into their own hands. Turning on their microphones, they quickly sang a Christmas jingle.

Jingle bells, Marco smells,

Jeanne laid an egg

The X-Laws car lost a wheel

And so Lyserg lost his head. Yay!

Lyserg seemed to have had enough of the insults and Christmas ornament comments. "STOP INSULTING ME!" he yelled. He stormed up on stage, still resembling a Christmas ornament, albeit a very angry one.

Everyone looked surprised Lyserg had stood up to Hao and Jeanne. He would surely be dead by the end of the night.

"AND YOU!" He yelled at the Hanagumi. "What freaking proof do you have with all that? Well you can just take that stupid song, that stupid doll of yours,"--he looked at Mari—"and go BURN IN HELL!"

He seemed to have struck a chord in Mari's brain. She looked straight up at him, sending waves of hate. "Mari does not like it when people call Chuck stupid."

A red-faced Lyserg stared back, reflecting the hate-waves. "I don't care."

Mari snapped. "CHUCK!" She had formed her Oversoul and was getting ready to shoot at Lyserg.

"Morphin!" Lyserg was quick to react, and got ready to defend himself from the deranged doll that looked suspiciously like Manta. They were about to go into all-out war, when someone interrupted. Anna had walked onstage, dragging Yoh along with her.

"If you plan to kill each other, please take it outside," she said calmly. "And you're all terrible at singing. Yoh can do better."

"WHAT!" Yoh protested. "I just heard my name and the word 'singing' in the same sentence! That's not right!"

"Yes, you heard me, you will sing."

"But… but…"

"You will sing if you ever want to see your headphones again."

"What?"

But it was too late. Anna had already stepped offstage, and she had managed to steal Yoh's headphones. She left Yoh on stage, looking confused and desperate.

And so, Yoh cleared his throat and started singing.

Anna making us

Do special training

Taking time to torture one by one

It's that time of year

When the we're all in fear

And you have to find a way

To hide from Anna everyday.

Clearly desperate, he decided to get straight to the point.

Why don't you

GIVE ME MY HEADPHONES BACK

…

Yoh continued this strange song for several minutes, before Anna, clearly not amused, came up and whacked him on the head. "You're never getting your headphones back that way," she snarled. And, in an act of pure evil, she threw the headphones as far as she could away from the stage.

"NOOOO!" Yoh yelled and ran off stage. Not really looking where he was going, he crashed into Tamao, who was walking away from a punch bowl. Tamao blushed and ran off into an opposite direction, crashing into Lyserg.

Anna looked at Tamao, concerned. "Is she drunk too?" she asked, stepping down from the stage.

"No," Pirika responded. "I haven't seen her drink any of the punch. But why is she so clumsy now?"

--

Meanwhile, the drunken members of the X-Laws were arguing with the drunken members of Hao's team.

"Our song was so much better than yours!" Kanna argued. "We inshulted you, and your shtupid team! YOU SMELL, MARCO!"

Marco looked angry, and out of random, shouted a phrase in Latin. "Vescere bracis meis!" (Eat my shorts.)

"Fac ut vivas! (Get a life)" Kanna shouted back angrily. She paused, clearly confused. "Since when did I know Latin?"

"There's something in the punch," Marco answered vaguely. "Latin punch? We'll all probably forget this language when we're sober, anyway."

Kanna agreed. "For now, speak it while you can. Bibere humanum est, ergo bibamus. (To drink is human, let us therefore drink). " She picked up her punch glass.

"None of my minions are human! Bad Kanna!" Hao scolded as he took away the drink and set it aflame.

--

Meanwhile, Jeanne was drinking her fifteenth glass of punch. "Re vera, potas bene, (Say, you are drinking a lot)" Lyserg said cautiously to her.

Jeanne glared at him. "It's been a while since someone sang. Sing."

"But…" Lyserg protested. "I can't sing! I…"

"SING!" Jeanne yelled. "You are an eggnog—I mean, an X-Law, so get on stage before I drink you—I mean kill you!"

"Huh? What? Fine…"

Lyserg slouched onstage, and randomly created a song.

Whenever I hear Hao's name

I get really, really screwed

I remember when he was a child, and he killed my parents

Whenever I see people, who are really, really strong,

I ask them to be comrades, so we can defeat Hao.

So let's all kill Hao, for a bright tomorrow

And the world is at peace, and we all trust… In Jeanne…

SO let's all kill Hao,

And have a happy holiday,

This season may we never forget,

How much we hate that bastard.

Let us be the ones who kill him

As another era starts

And may the spirit of killing Hao

Be always in our hearts.

Lyserg turned red and ran off stage. Jeanne clapped wildly at the end of the song, clearly amused.

Clearly trying to get away from the world, Lyserg wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into Horohoro, who was also noticeably drunk.

"LYYSSEERRG!" Horo yelled. "Did I ever tell you before, Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! (Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!)"

"Umm… no?" Lyserg said quickly, and ran away.

Horo frowned, not happy that Lyserg had run away. So, he turned his frustrations to Ren. "SHARK HEAD!" He screamed, whacking Ren on the back of his head.

"Huh—what? Non sum pisces (I am not a fish!)!" Ren yelled angrily.

Horo looked at him, surprised. "You know Latin? So you're drunk too?"

"What? No, I am not drunk! I haven't even touched the punch!"

"Then what have you been drinking?"

"Milk!"

Horo grabbed the empty milk bottles. "See, these have been spiked too!"

"WHAT?"

"You see, we're all DRUNK! DRUNK, I TELL YOU!"

Horohoro dragged Ren off to the stage, and stopped to grab Chocolove by the neck of his shirt, and dragged him off to the stage.

We'll be drunk for Christmas

You can count on that

Please have beer and alcohol

And …

Horo stopped, clearly at a loss for lyrics.

Then…

And Koropokurus under the tree!

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the alcohol is

And Chocolove seized this moment to get his lyrics in:

I'll become the Shaman King…

And Ren, clearly annoyed at being dragged onstage to sing, finished it with his line:

BUT ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS!

Jeanne clapped as they got offstage. Going up to them, she said, "The X-Laws appreciate those who are good singers. Would you like to join us?"

Ren glared at her. "Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. (I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult)."

Jeanne glared at him.

---

T3h end of t3h chapter. Review. Flame. Whatever. -ona

and remember to read all our other fics.--otakunekogirl