Lies – 33

She ran through the bathroom as soon as Seth turned to leave, not wanting him to see the panic she couldn't hide an instant longer. Summer gulped in deep breaths of fresh air, trying to chase away the sensation of choking that was threatening to overpower her. She stared down at her fingers, white-knuckled and gripping the back of a pool chair as if it was her only connection to reality. Gradually, her breathing slowed and she became aware of a light breeze fanning her hot face and blowing strands of dark hair around her elbows. The roaring in her ears faded into the reassuring echo of the Pacific Ocean making it's presence perpetually known down below. Feeling stronger, she straightened, taking her weight off of the chair back she'd been leaning on. The incredible view from the pool area struck her as if she'd never seen it before - colors vivid and the simple beauty of trees, cliffs, beach and ocean taking her breath away. Unable to tear her eyes from it, she felt for the chair in front of her, dragging it to the edge of the patio and sitting, mesmerized.

Snippets of raised voices, remnants of ugly accusations, flashes of hazel eyes staring at her with a mix of pity and revulsion – all tried to form as full memory and thoughts, but she unconsciously shoved them out, letting only the smooth symphony of sea, air and birdsong wash over her.

"Mr. Cohen – Sandy? Hi, it's Summer. Um, are you busy right now? I kind of need to talk to you." She held up her hand, glad to see it holding steady. Her "time out" in the California sunshine had left her fairly composed, the frazzled panic of earlier diminished into a small size she could handle easily now.

"Well hello, Summer! I've always got time to talk to you. What's up? How are you today?" Sandy had been worried about her since he'd talked to Seth earlier.

"I'm ok, well, that might be a – I don't know. This is a legal problem, or question………………OhmyGod. I don't know how to do this……" Telling Seth had been one thing, but talking to his dad about her father having sex with her? Her face flushed dark red in embarrassment. She wondered if Kirsten had told him about it already.

"Take your time, kid. Hey, I'm in your area; why don't you meet me for a late lunch? I'll even buy. I've got a big corporate job now, you know; I can afford these things."

Summer smiled in spite of herself; Sandy was so good at putting people at ease. "I'm not, um, really hungry, but thanks anyway."

"Oh, come on. I'll bet you haven't had anything but hospital food and bad take-out all week."

"Pretty much, but really, I don't feel like eating right now. Plus, no makeup, hair's a mess – appearing in public is not an option."

"All right. I give. I've been married long enough to know better than to argue when hair and makeup are involved. So you're feeling better?" He'd just chat until she felt ready to talk about her legal thing.

"Oh, I slept so well last night, I really was a lot better this morning."

"Good to hear."

"So. Sandy. Did Kirsten say anything to you about me? Maybe?"

"Besides the fact that she thinks you're the only girl that could ever handle the kid? She says a lot, Summer, all good."

A happy shiver ran through Summer. It was nice to hear positive things from parents, even if they weren't hers. "Oh, that's so sweet! But I meant, well, it's like this." She took a deep breath. "When I was younger, I – I was…………abused."

It came out finally, the word just a whisper. She'd been fine earlier, sure that she could make this call, but suddenly her vision was blurring.

"I'm so sorry." From his days as a public defender, Sandy knew the amount of courage it had taken for her to admit that truth. Victims always felt ashamed and embarrassed, like it was their fault somehow, a lot of times to the point of never getting help.

The doorbell rang, and Summer was glad to have an excuse to postpone the rest of her story for a minute or two. "Um, I'm sorry, can you hang on? Someone's at the door."

"Sure thing. Go ahead, I'll wait."

She made her way through the huge house to the front door, dabbing furiously at her eyes the entire way. She shouldn't be crying; she was taking control of her life finally instead of letting her life control her. What did she have to cry about? "Toughen up, Roberts." She muttered to herself. Reaching the door finally, she opened it.

Sandy stood there, head tilted to the side, a sad smile on his face. " I thought maybe you could use a shoulder."

She stood staring at him, tears welling up with a huge lump in her throat. This big-hearted man had invited her to live with his family – to be a member of it, and now he was standing in her doorway wearing a strangely familiar expression of genuine concern. Warm, expressive eyes just like Seth's. She bit her lip, trying not to let go.

He didn't move, afraid of frightening her. "I kind of know. Your dad?"

She nodded, putting her hand over her mouth, eyes glistening.

"Aw, come here." He held his arms open, and she just stood there, unsure. "It's all right. I'd never hurt you; you know that."

She felt another wall erected long ago crumble inside, and Summer went to him blindly, breaking down inside his hug. For the first time in her life, someone resembling a father was there for her when she needed him, in the worst of situations. He wasn't clothed in guilt and surrounded by ugly shadows of the past, and he didn't want one damned thing from her.

He just cared.

After a pitcher of lemonade and a full discussion of her legal options and the consequences they might bring, Sandy stood up, ready to leave. "Think it over, take as much time as you need, and let me know what you decide. You can call me anytime if you have any questions, but you already knew that. Right?"

She nodded shyly.

"Ok. Off with the lawyer hat. You want to head home with me now?" He glanced at his watch. "I'm done for the day, and if we hurry we can get some steaks on the grill before Kirsten calls for Chinese take-out. She's addicted to the stuff!"

Summer laughed. "It's low fat, high protein, with good carbs, that's why!"

"Is THAT it?! See, I never would have guessed it. Women. So do you need to pack anything?"

"Actually, I kind of wanted to stay here a while. I need some time….to……get things right in my head. Some time alone."

Sandy nodded. "I can understand that. But we'll leave you alone, if you want to come over. It might be good to have people close by, you know."

"Thank you, I really do appreciate the offer, but I think it would be better…if I were here." She gave him a half smile.

"Whatever you think is best, Summer. If you change your mind, you know where we are. And if you want to talk, you've got the number. Numbers. What do we have, about 8 phones now? Work, home, a cell in each car, everybody has their own cell……" He counted off on his fingers. "I should own my own wireless company by now. But I'll call later to check on you. Whether you like it or not."

She smiled shyly once again, pleased. "That would be nice. And I promise I'll call if I need anything." She stood and walked him to the door. "Thank you for, uh, coming over, too."

He hugged her. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Summer. I'm proud of you for setting things straight. A whole lot of kids like you never do, or the people they tell don't believe them, and they suffer more for it."

She looked at the floor. "Thanks. I didn't, like, plan to do anything though. I shouldn't get much credit."

"You had the strength when the time came, though, and you did it; that's what counts." He hugged her quickly again and went out to his car, waving goodbye.

"I had Seth," she whispered sadly to no one.

Summer had taken care of the "father" mess with Sandy, and in the process realized she felt better. While the actual confrontation with her dad had been hideous and sent her into a tailspin, while discussing options with Sandy she'd felt a sense of control creep in that had never been there before. Her mind had always been full of a lifetime of indecision, and her heart to the brim with emotions that she questioned regarding dear old "dad". The questions were answered, the decisions being made, and she felt unencumbered in a way she never had before. It was almost frightening.

Walking back into the guest suite, she shut the door carefully behind her and began to clean, concentrating completely on the chores. The tray and plates with half eaten cheese and crackers went to the kitchen. Still damp towels were thrown into the laundry chute in the bathroom, followed by Seth's pajama bottoms and the t-shirt she'd worn last night. She cleaned the mirror and the sink where teeth had been brushed, tossing a washcloth and another towel down the chute. Returning to the bedroom area, she picked up already worn clothes off the floor, putting his in a plastic container, and throwing hers through the bathroom door. She folded pawed- through clothing back into his bag, added the worn articles, then started separating his shirts from her outfits in the shopping bags. The things she'd bought him went in the top of his duffel bag, and hers into the suitcase he'd packed for her. It seemed like such a long time ago that he'd brought her home from the hospital. She folded her shopping bags and threw them away in the kitchen, then went to the bar and capped the bottle her father had poured a shot from. She returned it to its place next to the vodka and ran a hand lovingly over her old friend. Vodka had gotten her through a lot of nights growing up in this house, but she felt no need for it now. She washed the shot glass and put it with the others behind the bar, feeling a sense of finality.

Staying busy kept her mind off things she'd rather not think about right now. She headed into the kitchen, washed dishes, wiped down counters, appliances and the table, then put everything away. Returning to the living area, she straightened cushions, dusted furniture, and organized the magazines Seth had gotten her in the hospital. She suddenly wondered where all the flowers she'd received had gone. They hadn't made it to the guest suite when they moved in.

She left the suite and made her way to the entry hall, then into the living room, finally finding the boxes with her flower arrangements in the sunroom. She tried to lift a box but pain shot through her arm and side. Irritated, yet determined, she ended up making six trips to the guest suite, carrying one vase at a time. After arranging them throughout the living room and bedroom, she looked around happily, pleased with her clean little "apartment" and the beauty the flowers brought to it. Everything wrong was now righted; everything in disarray newly organized. Her body was hurting from all the activity, though, so her next trip was into the kitchen for medication and water, and then she sank gratefully into her favorite chair.

The doorbell rang again, of course, since she was comfortable, so she got up and went to answer it, grumbling the whole way. Opening the door, she found no one, but looking out into the driveway she discovered a hulking black Hummer, and an adorable little car. Checking the mailbox, she grabbed an envelope with keys and paperwork in it, and ran to the little car, thrilled. She hadn't had any idea what a Porsche Boxster looked like when she demanded it, but now she silently thanked Seth for arguing with her about one. It was PERFECT, and how wonderful that he'd known it would suit her so well. He was eerily tuned into her like that. The ring, the car - even the clothes he'd picked out for her to wear. She unlocked the door and slid inside, settling into the leather driver's seat like it was her nest. She couldn't wait to take it out on the road, and made a mental note to go shopping for clothes and accessories that matched the metallic robin's egg blue color. She sighed happily and got out, walking to the Hummer and unlocking it. It was huge after the little two-seater she'd just been in, and she had a bit of trouble getting up to the seat and sliding in. The thing was awesome, for sure, and it would be great to take everyone places together, but she was smitten with the Porsche and didn't see herself driving it very often. This was a guy's wet dream of a truck, and she suddenly knew exactly what to do with it. She headed inside to make some phone calls, humming. When she finished, she was wornout from all the activity, so she lay down across the huge bed, hoping to fall asleep quickly. That didn't happen.

With nothing to occupy it, her mind went straight to Seth. There was another pain inside her now that had nothing to do with her cleaning frenzy; it was an ache that had been building since she'd seen the expression of disgust in his eyes during the blowout with her dad. The look that was clearly evident every time he laid eyes on her. She repulsed him, and he'd literally gotten sick, and while his words had been kind, he could not force himself to look at her again afterwards.

She let them come finally, all the emotions that had been trying to surface since this morning, feeling like she was ready. She could not have been more wrong.

Flooded with agony, it pounded over her like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her with choking betrayal, resentment, and profound loss that could never be replaced. Conflicting sentiments twisted through her – understanding and a sense of knowledge that he would ultimately find her revolting; who wouldn't after finding out that from toddler age up she'd been sexual amusement for her own father? – quickly u-turning into utter betrayal – he'd said he would always love her, hadn't he? And that it didn't matter to him what her father had done!! She disgusted him, and she couldn't bear seeing that expression on his face ever again. She'd trusted him with everything she had in her heart and soul, and in the end it had come back to haunt her. As usual.

Anger faded into terror at the idea of a future without him in it, and she found herself hyperventilating into a panic attack once again. She ran through the bathroom and out into the warm evening air, coming to a halt only when she got to the railing on the far end of the patio past the pool area. Going farther was not an option, as the patio jutted out over a seemingly bottomless ravine that ended in a steep cliff, then rolled down into beach on the other side of the house. The amazing scenery that had captivated her earlier suddenly seemed terrifying in the twilight – all it would take was one loose joint, one misstep and she could easily be falling through space, landing in a place of certain death that no one would ever think to look for. She swallowed hard and pushed herself away from the railing, backing slowly towards the relative safety of the pool area. After reaching it, she shook her head and forced out a short laugh, wondering where her sudden paranoia had come from. A voice behind her sent chills down her spine, and she whirled, finding her father watching her with a strange look on his face.

"Where's your white knight, angel? He's not here to save you now?"

Instantly on guard, she was determined not to show him her fear. She stood up straight and spoke harshly. "I'm NOT your angel, and I don't need anyone to save me. I can take care of myself." He watched her thoughtfully, and then she saw him looking from the far railing back to her, as if judging the distance.

"He did look a little green, didn't he, at the thought of screwing someone who's own daddy had been there first, huh? He left you, didn't he? Couldn't handle knowing you'd always love your daddy more, could he?" He took a step toward her, and she backed up one.

"You're insane if you think I love you, you sick freak." It suddenly dawned on her, horrifying but true. "You're jealous of him! That's why you said those horrible things about me! You were jealous because you knew he'd been with me and you couldn't!"

He took another step, sending her further back towards the patio. "It's been so hard to stay away from you, angel. I've always adored you. You were my only solace after that slut of a wife betrayed me." He gazed at her lovingly, then a hint of something evil flashed across his face.

"I'm your DAUGHTER – I wasn't supposed to fill in for mom after she left!! God! You ARE insane!" Summer didn't like the way he was looking at her now, kind of like she was dessert, and she tried to figure out how to get around him and into the house.

"Summer, this is so pleasant; we're getting to know each other again. We used to be soo close. Let's just stay out here and talk for awhile." He gestured to a chair while taking another step towards her.

"Hey! Let me think about it… NO. Seth's um, coming back any minute now. He went to, to get us something to eat. So I need to get inside and get plates out. For dinner." The vacant look he wore she'd seen all too recently. She'd known Marissa had snapped when it had appeared on her face in the driveway at the Cohen's house. Daddy's elevator was clearly not reaching the penthouse anymore. She suddenly darted to his left and tried to get around him, but he was too fast, catching her by the arm. She struck out at him, but he caught her other hand and laughing, pulled her close to him. Frantic, she kicked at him until suddenly her head seemed to explode and she saw stars, and felt herself falling back onto deck, dazed with the wind knocked out of her. He was on top of her in an instant, hitting her again, and she was too out of breath to struggle against him.

"Oh my, you've grown up into a feisty one, haven't you? You used to be so sweet when you were little. Daddy had to hit you so you'd be a good girl, but he's sorry. And I am so sorry that I have to make sure you won't be a problem anymore, just like I did your mama. I have to teach you women a lesson. You can't blackmail Daddy."

Cold fingers of dread ran through her as she realized why he'd been looking from her to the railing. She wondered if her mother had been down in the ravine all these years.

"There, there, little Summer, I've missed you so much. Let's take off your clothes and show Daddy how much you love him one last time."

She could feel his breath on her ear as he shifted off to her side and began unzipping her jeans. She tried everything to push his hands away – to push HIM away, but he was much stronger than her.

Finally catching her breath, she screamed and rolled away, getting to her knees and almost to her feet when he grabbed her by the ankle, sending her sprawling forward onto the hard tile. He clucked his tongue. "Baby girl, we're not playing games here." He rolled her over and hit her hard in the face again. "Now be a good girl." He calmly returned to tugging off her jeans. "Oh, look at my beautiful angel, all grown up. So pretty."

He sat up and unzipped his pants, and Summer, still reeling from the last blow, tried as hard as she could hard to concentrate, knowing she only had one chance before it was too late. She gagged as he kissed her, sure she would vomit. Forcing one leg in between hers, he pulled at her panties, and when he raised up to peel them off of her she swung her broken arm as hard as she could, her cast catching him squarely in the groin. He shrieked and collapsed, curling up into a ball, and she drug herself away from him, crawling slowly, painfully into the house.

The Cohen's were sitting around the kitchen table, discussing Seth's predicament over coffee when Sandy's cell phone rang. After seeing the caller ID, he answered it swiftly, frowning, and his expression darkened as he listened to the voice on the other end. He glanced quickly at Seth, told the caller he'd be right there, and hung up, heading for the door.

"What? What is it? Why'd you look at me like that?" Seth was up and on Sandy's heels instantly. "Was it Summer?"

"Seth." Sandy stopped in the kitchen doorway, as Ryan and Kirsten gathered behind them, knowing something was seriously wrong. "Listen. Try to stay calm. That was the hospital; Summer's in the Emergency Room." He tried to make himself heard over Seth's panic. "SETH!"

Ryan grabbed his arm. "Chill, man." Seth closed his mouth, visibly struggling to compose himself, then nodded. "Yeah. Ok. Chilled. What happened?"

"I don't know the details." That was a lie, but it was better the kid not know for the moment. "The ER said I should come alone; she can't have visitors."

Seth's lips set in a grim line. "It was her dad, wasn't it? That son of a bitch – I knew I shouldn't have left her there alone. I'm gonna kill him. That's all there is to it - He's a dead man walking right now, soon to be a dead man …not walking. Not doing anything, because he's dead."

"Don't talk like that!" Kirsten was horrified. "You're not killing anyone! You don't even know what happened!!"

"Calm down, you two. I have to go. Ryan, make sure Seth doesn't – "

"Go ahead, Sandy. I'll handle it." Ryan grabbed a crutch. "Seth, you can't kill anybody. He's not worth the time you'll spend in prison, and I can't handle high school without you. Besides, she may have just fallen down again or something. Plus, if you try to leave, I'll have to kick your ass and I really don't want to do that." He turned to Kirsten and put an arm around her, awkwardly guiding her back to the table. "Sit down and relax. Seth's just upset and he doesn't really want to kill anyone."

"I do too!" Seth glared at Ryan. "You didn't see the sleazeball. I know he did something to her."

"Seth, I'll call you when I get there and let you know what's going on. Ok?" Sandy still hesitated in the door.

"Right. Get going; Summer needs you." Seth fingered the ring on his right hand. "And I thought this day couldn't get any worse," he muttered. He walked into the living room and flung himself into a chair, staring up at the ceiling. That lasted about two minutes, then he was up, pacing back and forth across the room.

He waited until his mom was deep in conversation with Jimmy on the phone, then quietly let himself out the front door, making sure he had his cell phone with him. Pulling the keys to the Hummer from his pocket, he rounded the back bumper to the driver's side and came face to face with Ryan, leaning against the door, arms crossed.

"It's not gonna happen, man."

"Ryan, come on. How would you feel if it was your girlfriend?"

"You can't go to the hospital; you can't even see her. No visitors, remember?" Ryan was not moving.

"But I want to be there……Damn it! Fine! I have the extra key to her house; I can go there and get some stuff together for her. For when, you know, she needs it. Dude. I just need to feel like I'm helping her somehow. Come with me if you're afraid I'm on a sleazy asshole hunt. I swear I'm not." He crossed his fingers behind his back.

Ryan thought about that for a minute. "Ok. I'll go, too. Walk in here with me to tell your mom."

"Dude, you don't trust me? You think I'm gonna take off while you're in there?"

Ryan just stared at him, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, whatever. I would have." Seth unlocked the doors to the truck. "Shuffle your crippled ass over there and get in – I'LL go tell mom while you do that." He ran for the kitchen, assured his mom that she would not see him on the 11 o'clock news being led away in handcuffs for murder, then ran back to the driveway and got in the Hummer.

Ryan was looking around in awe. "We lived in an apartment smaller than this when I was little."

Seth started it up, then got on his knees in the seat, turning around to get the full effect. "Whoa, there's a DVD player!" He flipped it on and "Return of the King" started up in full surround sound. "Oh. My. God." He turned it off and he and Ryan both went for the stereo.

Ryan backed off. "Go ahead, man, it's yours. I just thought, if the DVD sounds that good…"

"Exactly what I was thinking, my man." Seth pushed the power button, and the vehicle was filled with music. He turned it up and both he and Ryan sat back in their seats, amazed. "It's like Maroon 5 is playing in the back seat!!"

Ryan squinted at him. "What?!!"

Seth turned the volume down a little. "It sounds like the band is playing live, here, inside the truck!!"

Ryan threw him a thumbs up. "Whatever you do, don't piss Summer off. We NEED the Hummer, Seth."

He laughed and turned off the stereo. "Why Ryan, it sounds like you've finally been seduced by the materialistic side of the O.C.."

Ryan looked offended. "I have not. It's a HUMMER, Seth."

"Riiiight. What do we got here? And here? And what's that?" Seth began pushing buttons. A moon roof slid silently back into the roof, the back seats smoothly folded down into one flat surface, and small lights on the walls glowed inside the vehicle. "Sweet!" There was a tiny hiss, then "Death Cab for Cutie" filled the truck. "What the – " He looked to Ryan, confused, who just shrugged and leaned forward, reading the stereo buttons in the dim glow.

"There's a CD player……somewhere."

Seth got up on his knees again, turning around to look. "It's in the side panel behind my seat." He pushed yet another button and the panel slid open. "It's got 10 CD's, and………Ben Folds?…you're not gonna believe this……" He closed the panel and turned back around, looking at Ryan with surprise. "………she put ALL my favorites in there. Emo. The jazz one she despises, even."

"Aw, now THAT'S love, man. You have the best girl ever." Ryan could see how touched Seth was. "You're not gonna cry, are you?"

"Shut up, Ryan." Seth put the Hummer in gear and backed out of the driveway, heading down the road. "I hope she's still my girl. I'd give this thing back in a heartbeat, if it meant we're still together for sure."

Ryan stared at him, stricken. "You wouldn't…… Listen Seth. A girl doesn't give a guy a HumVee to "take care of", fill the CD player with his favorite music, and make up a special key chain for him with his name on it if she isn't in love with him. That takes a lot of thought. It's going to work out. You'll see. Seriously, whether you keep the H2 or not."

"I hope so. I wish she'd just CALL me." He shook his head. "Ryan, I KNOW her dad has something to do with her getting hurt. I feel it. The man is such a - don't even get me started. It makes me crazy just thinking about what he might have done to her."

"Seth, she probably just fell. What would he …………Oh no……"

They turned the corner onto Summer's street and were met by the sight of four police cars, lights flashing, in front of her house. Yellow crime scene tape was strung around the side yard, and the beating blades of a helicopter could be heard nearby, echoing off the cliffs behind the house.

"Yeah, Ryan, OBviously she just fell." Seth was panicked again. He parked the truck and practically fell out the door, leaving it hanging open in his haste. Running up the sidewalk, he was quickly met by an officer. "What happened!? What did he do to her?!!"

"Hold up, son, this is an ongoing investigation – you can't go in there."

"I don't want to go in there – I want to know what he did to her!!"

The man looked at him curiously. "Are you family?"

Seth opened his mouth, but Ryan's voice came from behind him, beating him to the punch.

"Yes, sir, he is. The girl that lives here is his fiancé, and his father, Sandy Cohen, is her legal guardian. We know she's in the hospital."

Seth swung around to see Ryan leaning on one crutch, then turned back to the officer. "Yes. What he said. Please tell me how badly he hurt her. She's just recovering from a car wreck."

"Sandy's son, huh? I know Sandy from the PD's office. I suppose it's all right, since you already seem to know what happened." He checked his clipboard. "Miss Roberts was beaten and attacked by… Mr. Roberts." The cop shook his head sadly. "I never get used to these calls…She was taken by ambulance to – "

"Attacked?!" Seth's stomach turned over. "He – he – ra…ra…?" He couldn't say the word, as hard as he tried. He felt Ryan grab his arm, and was grateful for the support. For some reason his knees didn't want to hold him up anymore. He focused very hard on the police officer's face, waiting for his answer. After a hundred years, the man finally spoke, looking up from his stupid clipboard again.

"It says 'attempted rape'. Apparently Miss Roberts defended herself, injuring her assailant. He was transported by ambulance also."

Seth began breathing again, sagging against Ryan for a second. "Oh, thank God. Thank Jesus and Moses. That's my girl, kicking his ass." His face went hard, eyes like steel. "What hospital is he in? Is he the same place she is?"

Ryan tried to walk him away. "Seth, come on. Let's go, we know what happened now."

Seth pulled his arm away from Ryan angrily. "I want to know where he is."

The officer put a hand gently on Seth's arm. "Let the law handle it, son. Revenge only hurts you in the end. He's surrounded by armed guards anyway, and he's going to get a nice cage made just for animals like him. My best advice would be to let the anger go and take care of your girl. Help her through this."

Ryan chimed in. "He's right, Seth. Come on; let's go to the hospital. Even if she can't have visitors yet, you'll feel better." He looked curiously at the officer. "What's with the helicopter?" They could see floodlights pointing down into the ravine.

"That? I can't talk to you about. Sorry."

"It's ok. Thanks for your help. Come on, Seth. You ok to drive?"

"I can drive." He pulled out his cell and handed it to his friend. "Call mom, would you? She'll want to know."