Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
When Life Hands You Lemons…
Chapter 1 – Waiting
And there she was again, on the same cold bench, with the same white walls, waiting for the same white-coated person. And of course, doctors could NEVER be on time, so to pass the time she thought back to that horrible month of May, when her life fell apart. First, her best friend betrayed her, and then she discovered IT. The reason she's here, the reason she's scared. Shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts, her mind immediately drifted to the second love of her life, although she would never admit it. Ever since the wedding, she knew something was there, and the moments became more frequent. But she was scared. Scared of trying, scared of losing him and so things remained the same, no matter how much she wanted them to change. Damn! Negative thoughts again! Just then the reason for waiting arrived.
"We have your test's back, Lorelai." He offered with no smile, no hope. She immediately looked at the floor. It was do or die time. How appropriate the phrase was now.
"Your red cell count is still abnormally low. We have to increase the frequency of the blood transfusions to twice a week, and make it very concentrated."
"But I'll still be okay, though, right?" She asked, still looking at the floor.
"Lorelai, if the cell count doesn't stay the same or increase in the next month, you will have to be hospitalized and have a rush bone marrow transplant."
"But, it'll still be okay, right?" Pleading she asks.
"Yea, it'll be okay" The doctor offered. Lorelai looked up at him and noticed his smile of reassurance. The thing was, it'd be more reassuring if the fear had left his eyes.
Chapter 2 – Time for Coffee
Coffee. She thought as she automatically parked in front of the familiar diner, having no recollection of how she got there. I need coffee. And Rory…and to not be alone anymore…
The diner was empty, and Luke was performing his nightly routine, thinking about his customary topic – Lorelai. The town had noticed that she'd been not her usual self these past few months, but she had just written it off as missing Rory. Subject closed. He looked up, and saw the jeep parked outside, and Lorelai slowly making her way to the door. One look at her face, and Luke knew that Rory just wasn't her problem. Something else was bugging her. Something big, and he wanted to find out what. Before she opened the door, Luke saw the shield go up. The smile, the brushed away tears, and his resolve strengthened. He would be there for her, in spite of herself.
"Coffee coffee coffee!" She exclaimed as she made her way to the counter. "And pie" added as an afterthought. Fine. I'll play along. Luke thought.
"You know that stuff is going to kill you." His standard response.
"Well, I have it on good authority that that isn't what is going to kill me, so load me up!" She tried to say it jokingly, but it came out too true. She quickly looked down, panicked that Luke would notice.
Wow. Was the only coherent thought that Luke had, as he set her coffee and pie in front of her. He could see that the mask had slipped, that she didn't mean it to slip and was fighting for control. He didn't want to push her, and so continued his nightly routine, constantly glancing over.
He didn't notice. He's just there. But he brought an extra piece of pie…Lorelai was at a loss. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't do it alone, she couldn't pretend.
"You were wrong" she whispered into her coffee. It took a minute for Luke to register that she said something, and then it took another minute to register WHAT she said.
"When" He had now moved to wiping the counter in front of her, very very concerned. This couldn't be good.
"When you said I'd get it. I'd get the whole package. You were wrong"
"You'll still get it." Luke confidently said, as he had so long ago. That made her snap.
"NO! No, Luke, no I won't! I've run out of time! Have you ever heard of Negli's aplastic anemia? It means my body isn't producing red blood cells. I've been going to treatment once a week for the past 3 months. It's not getting better. The doctor said that if it doesn't get better in one month, I will have to have an emergency bone marrow transplant, and the success rate of those is so small as to be ridiculous. I'll die alone. I've run out of time…" Her impressive rant trailed off as her brain slowly registered what she had said. She jumped off the stool in shock, and looked at Luke for the first time. The expression on his face was what pushed her over the top. Tears started to flow. He looked like he'd just been sucker punched and then barfed on by a dog. She backed to the door quickly, and ran outside, the bells signaling her retreat, and Luke woke up.
Chapter 3 – All the wild horses
It took Luke about 3 seconds after the bells to realize what she said. HE had run out of time too. Rushing out of the diner, he ran to her house. The jeep was in front, but there were no lights on. Opening the front door (heaven forbid that she lock it!) Luke called her name softly. No answer. He looked in the kitchen, in the living room, calling her name. Slowly he made his way up the stairs, stopping at the open door to her bedroom.
There she was, curled up into a fetal ball, sobbing uncontrollably. It broke his heart, and strengthened his resolve. He had something to give to her, and he wouldn't back out like he had so many times before. She needed him.
"Lorelai?" She slowly sat up, and was shocked to see Luke there.
"Luke? What… what are you doing here?" She sounded so defeated, even to her own ears. Luke walked over, and sat on the bed. He put his arms around her, and gently pushed her head so it rested on his shoulder. She turned, and clung to him. They remained like that for a while, with Luke making slow circles on her back.
"I came to tell you something. You're not alone, Lorelai. You have me." He softly stated. Lorelai looked up at him then, and looked into his eyes. He meant it and looked at her with such care and devotion that she blushed.
"Luke…"
"No, let me finish. When you were talking tonight, I realized something. I though I had more time too." He starts to move, reaching for his wallet.
"Eight years ago you came into my diner in caffeine frenzy, begging for coffee. I said no, you persisted, and game me this horoscope" He gave the horoscope to her, and she looked down, wonder in her eyes.
"You told me to keep it. That it'd bring me luck. And it has. It brought me to you." Lorelai was shocked. Luke loved her! He pined for her! All those moments…
"And I want you to have it now. For luck, and for you to know that you'll never be alone." Lorelai looked down again. Oh how a crappy night could turn out so good! She knew what she had to do. She placed the horoscope back in Luke's hands gently. Looking into his eyes, she noticed the hurt and she hastened to explain.
"No, you keep it Luke. Cause it has already brought me luck. It brought ME to YOU." In for a penny…"All those moments… after the wedding… I… I love you Luke" she whispered the last part. She'd never told anybody that before, and she really meant it, but was still scared. Scared of rejection.
Upon hearing that, Luke just pulled her closer, and started to kiss her hair. When he reached her ear, he whispered back "I love you too" Lorelai looked up, and kissed him on the lips, sweetly, and full of promise. She then burrowed into him, silently crying tears of joy.
After a while, Luke started to get up. He didn't feel right, sitting on her bed. He didn't want to take advantage of her, and their words from earlier did not make this easy. Lorelai noticed his shifting position, and shot up, clinging to him.
"Luke please don't go! Sleep here tonight, please? We don't have to do anything..." She giggled. Dirty. "I just… I just… I don't want to be alone" How could a man refuse that?
"All the wild horses wouldn't drag me away" And with that they two finally lay in bed, Luke cuddling Lorelai as the drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 4 – Surprises Abound
Months had passed since that night, blissful months. Luke and Lorelai were going strong, having the relationship that the town had predicted for eight years. Lorelai was having dizzy spells, so Luke got into the habit of taking her to the doctor's office, regardless of the time. That night, they would watch a movie and cuddle, reassuring each other that it would get better. And it did. The blood cell count stopped regressing, and had been status quo for the past 2 months. Both were ecstatic, and viewed it as another lease on life. The town didn't know the specifics, but knew that Lorelai was sick, and if that was what brought those two together, well then it was all right and there was much rejoicing. The only thing that could make Lorelai happier was if her daughter returned home.
One Thursday afternoon, Rory made the drive to Stars Hollow. She grew sick of the world she had been living in, and made some changes in her life. She moved out of the pool house, got a job at the Stanford paper, and was returning to Yale for the winter semester. Only one thing remained, and that was the most important thing. Driving by Luke's, she noticed that it was closed. That's odd. It's dinner time. Why isn't Kirk banging the door? She slowly drove to that house. Her house. She couldn't do it though. Stopping a block away, she parked the car and made the rest of the journey on foot. The jeep was in its normal spot, indicating that the house was occupied. What if she won't want to see me? Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. It felt weird, knocking on the door to your own house. No answer. Weird. Suddenly, Babette saw her.
"RORY! You're here! Oh, she'll be so happy! I won the bet!" Rory's doubts were washed away with Babette's words.
"Hey Babette – where's Mom?" Babette stopped in her tracks, and just as quickly as the happiness returned, sadness replaced it.
"Oh, well sugar, its Thursday, so Luke took her to the doctor's"
"The doctor? Babette, what's wrong with Mom? And why is Luke taking her?" Panic rose in Rory's voice. Babette looked at her with pity. It was true. They really HADN'T talked. Ah well, so she lost THAT bet.
"We don't know sugar. They've kept it a secret. Wait for your Mom to tell you. Nice to see you again, Rory" and with that Babette went back to her house, leaving a very confused Rory. Deciding against waiting on the porch, Rory made her way to her thinking spot, the bridge. After a while, she made her way back to the house, just in time to see the truck pull up.
Driving back into town, Luke glanced over at Lorelai, sleeping against the door. She looks so beautiful when she sleeps. I hope we didn't was too much time…A block away from the crap shack, Luke noticed a familiar car parked off to the side. Passing Babette's house, he saw her wave madly, and mouth "Rory" She's back! Luke thought. He parked the car and got out. Opening the passenger door, he gently whispered
"Lorelai, we're home" She fluttered her eyes open and said
"Oh I just had a wonderful dream where the charming price carries me away into the sunset riding his faithful steed…" Luke smiled and picked her up, and carried her to the door of the house. Unbeknownst to both, Rory slowly made her way to the house, preferring to watch the developing scene.
Luke set Lorelai down, and pecked her on the lips. Lorelai grabbed his head, and turned the kiss passionate. Luke broke away, and hugged her.
"I'm leaving now. I'll go back to the diner tonight." Lorelai looked up at him, panic in her eyes.
"Luke?"
"Don't worry. I think you'll have other company tonight."
"Ah yes, I forgot about all my other lovers." Lorelai shakily laughed. Looking into his eyes though, she saw true happiness. She knew then that it was a good reason, but just to make sure, she kissed him again with everything in her heart.
"Call me if you fell dizzy or need anything, okay? Anytime." Rory frowned. Why would her Mom be dizzy? What was wrong?
"I will, oh knight in shining flannel. I love you" At this, Rory almost fainted in shock. Her Mom had said I love you! Man I've missed SO MUCH.
"I love you too. See you at breakfast tomorrow?"
"For sure. What would I do without my diner man?" One parting kiss later Luke made his way to the truck, glancing in Rory's direction and giving her the biggest grin imaginable. She's back.
Rory turned back to the house. Her Mom had already entered. She made her way to the door for a second time that and knocked. The door, just like in any horror movie, slowly opened.
"Rory?"
Chapter 5 – Home Again
Wow. She looks different. Skinnier, a bit more strained… She looks older! True to their form, both Gilmore girls were thinking the same thing of each other. Lorelai found her voice first.
"How … Luke… when…" Rory interrupted this garbled shock.
"Mom I got sick of that world. I moved out of the pool house. I got a job at the Stanford Gazette, and I'm going back to Yale. I wanted to fix my life…the only thing missing…" By now Rory had tears on her face, and Lorelai's weren't that far behind. Suddenly both girls closed the gap between them, and both exclaimed "I missed you so much!"
"Of course you can move back Rory. Let's grab your stuff and go!" Lorelai added just for good measure.
"Okay, well, the car is around the block, that's probably how Luke knew I was here – he saw the car on the way in. I don't have a whole bunch of stuff, I moved most of it back to Yale, but if we each take a box…"
"Let's go!"
Laden with boxes, Rory suddenly paused just inside the door. Lorelai looked at her, with new worry in her eyes.
"What is it?" Rory swallowed audibly.
"Uh, where should I put my stuff? I mean, is my room, is it…?"
"Why don't you go look for yourself" Lorelai replied. Both dropped the boxes and made their way to the door. Rory slowly opened it to reveal…. Nothing. Everything was the same as before. Right down to the sheets.
"I, uh, I didn't change anything. I thought that if I did, it would mean that you were gone forever" Lorelai mumbled while looking at her feet.
"Oh Mom! I'm so sorry! I love you" Rory was bawling like a two year old, and just like when she was two, Lorelai lead her to the couch and cuddled.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry too. And you have no idea how much I love you." The girls sat like that for a while, healing old wounds and new ones. Eventually, Rory sniffed and sat up.
"So? Mom? You and Luke? How'd THAT happen? And since when did you start saying I love you?" Lorelai blushed and looked down.
"How much did you hear?"
"Snippets."
"So basically everything."
"Pretty much. So? You and Luke? I want to know when it happened!" Lorelai got a dreamy look on her face, when she thought of that diner visit all those months ago. But with the dreamy, came the weary. Cliff notes version. I don't want to tell her yet.
"Well, one night a couple of months ago, I just got back from… I just got back and I was really upset, and went into the diner for coffee. Therapeutic only, of course"
"Of course" What isn't she telling me?
"Well, I spilled my guts out to Luke, realized what I did and ran out of there. He followed me to my bed, and comforted me, and showed me the horoscope, and then, with all those moments from before, I realized he was THE ONE. And so I said that I love him, and he reciprocated, and then we kissed and then…"
"STOP! Okay enough information! But why were you so upset Mom?" Panic fleetingly struck across Lorelai's face.
"Not tonight. Let's save some stories for later. I've been saving up movies and junk food for when this day arrived. How about we pull an all-nighter?" Rory wasn't in journalism for nothing, and she knew an evasive tactic when she saw it. But she was so happy to be home, she decided that tomorrow may be a better time.
"Great! And Mom, thanks. For everything."
"Oh baby, you were all the thanks I needed" And with that, the two girls got comfortable on the couch and started a legendary movie night.
Chapter 6 – The Truth Will Set You Free
Lorelai woke up much later that night, and was initially confused as to why she was sleeping on the couch. Where was Luke? She looked around, and saw Rory sleeping, using her as a pillow. A soft smile spread to her lips, and she softly stroked her daughter's hair. She was back. All was good. And then it struck. Lorelai quickly and carefully got off the couch, careful not to wake her daughter, and rushed to the bathroom. She shouldn't have to see this Lorelai thought as the dizziness hit her. She sat on the floor, waiting for the attack to pass. But that wasn't all tonight. Suddenly she turned to the toilet, and threw up. Hating the feeling, she kept her eyes closed until she was done. Then she opened them and saw … blood. She threw up blood. Numbly she flushed the toilet, rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth. Tears cascading down, she sat back down on the floor, rocking back and forth, crying silently, and whispering "Not now. Not now. It's not fair. Please, not now" oblivious to the fact that her daughter was indeed up, and standing in the doorway.
Rory had woken up when she heard movement in the bathroom. Wondering where her Mom was, she got there just as Lorelai was flushing the toilet. She watched her Mom go through the post-throw-up routine, and then surprisingly watched her bawl her eyes out rocking on the floor. In shock for perhaps 5 seconds, Rory soon recovered.
"Mom! What's wrong?" Lorelai looked up at the grief and worry on Rory's face. That was the LAST thing she wanted.
"Oh no, honey, don't worry. I'm fine" Standing up as she said those words, but a dizzy spell hit right after. Damn my body! Lorelai angrily thought as she turned gray in front of her daughter. Rory rushed to her side, and like Lorelai did to her before, led her to the couch. Lorelai put her head in between her knees, waiting for the feeling to subside. Long after it did though, she was still in that position. There was no hiding now. She had to tell her. How on earth do you tell your daughter that you're dying?
"Rory, I" she started but Rory interrupted her.
"Mom, I know you think you have to be Wonder woman around me, but I'm a big girl now. You don't need to protect me, so tell me the truth. Why, when I came earlier, did Babette know that since it was Thursday you and Luke were at the doctors? Why are you going to the doctors so regularly? Why did Luke tell you to call him if you were dizzy? Well, that one I can figure out for myself, after seeing you. How long has this been going on? WHAT is going on?" Rory stopped her tirade, fearful to know the answer, but fearful that her Mom would protect her, like she had so many times in the past. She deserves the truth. I just hope she can handle it.
"Rory, do you know what Negli's aplastic anemia is?" Confused by the apparent change in topic, Rory's encyclopedic brain searched up an answer.
"It's a rare blood disease. The body doesn't produce enough red blood cells. It's pretty serious, and usually fatal. Treatment is limited to blood transfusions, and in desperate cases a bone marrow transplant. Symptoms include sever dizzy spells…" light started to dawn as the words slipped out of her mouth "… and in advanced cases throwing up blood" She was in shock. No. It couldn't be. Not her MOM.
"Mom?" Lorelai just nodded, tears again on her cheeks. "Oh Mom!" Rory hugged her and Lorelai clung back. "How long have you known?" Oh boy here we go.
"Since…since out lunch" was the whispered answer. Rory looked confused for a second, and then realization dawned.
"The lunch." She repeated. "The lunch where you told me we had to talk, and I told you about…about Yale. You were going to tell me then?" Lorelai nodded.
"Oh Mom! Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have gone!" That brought back some of the old Lorelai. She fired back
"But you see that's the thing! I didn't WANT you to come back because of me! I wanted you to figure out things in your life! I want you to be happy, Rory! I want you to have all the things you deserve, all the things that you dream for. If you came back because of me, it would have wreaked everything! Don't you understand? Your future is more important!" Rory really wasn't that surprised with this outburst. If she thought about it, she probably could have predicted it, word for word. She knew, deep down, that her Mom had sacrificed everything for her. What's one more thing?
"So then, you didn't tell anybody? Not till Luke that night at the diner?" Lorelai nodded.
"At the beginning it wasn't so bad. Then 3 months later I went back to the doctor's office, and he told me… and I couldn't handle it alone anymore. So I went to Luke's. The town still doesn't know." It hurt Rory that her Mom went to Luke first, but what else was she supposed to do? I had betrayed her, and she's always had someone. She may be strong, but 3 months? 3 months of knowing you could be dying?
"Oh Mom. It's okay. Everything will work out. You have us now, and I'll always be here." Lorelai hugged her daughter, tears fresh once again. Roles had changed and now Rory was the mother. "Shhhhh. It'll be okay." Eventually the girls fell asleep again, bonded stronger than before.
Chapter 7 - … Make Lemonade
One week later
And here she was again. On the same cold bench, in the same white room, with the same white walls, waiting for the same white coated person. But not all was the same. The negative thoughts were gone, for one. Rory was sitting across the room, smirking. They look so cute! She thought. And she was right. Lorelai was sitting on Luke's lap with her head resting on his shoulder. He was rubbing her back and playing with her hair, sometimes whispering things that made her smile, sometimes leaning in for a short, sweet kiss. Waiting is definitely better with someone else. Just then the white coated man came in. It's do or die time. Again.
"Lorelai we have your test results." He started again, just as he had before. Luke tensed, and she could see the fear in Rory's eyes. She grasped Luke's hand, and smiled at her daughter.
"We have good news. The count is up. WAY up. We can cutback on treatments. You're going to be fine." Lorelai was in shock. Rory was crying tears of joy, and so was Luke. Wait a sec, Luke crying? Luke kissed her with all his heart, and Rory jumped up to join their hug. Come to think of it, I'm not dry eyed either. And that doctor looks like he could use a Kleenex. But what about
"What about me throwing up blood? Isn't that bad?" The love fest stopped. Stupid, stupid Lorelai. But I have to know…
"That's excellent. That's a sign you're recovering. You're going to be fine." Whew! The love fest continued. Luke was kissing her hair, and Rory was hanging on for dear life. Lorelai popped her head up, to look at the doctor again, just to make sure it wasn't a dream. He seemed to know what she was looking for and mouthed "you're going to be fine" and smiled that reassuring smile of his.
Except this time he smiled with his eyes.